(no subject)
- CoG finally arrived and it was great
Kate Daniels Series and Midnight's Daughter are also so very very great... makes me want to abandon rl and just.... drown in all the loveliness and gruesome details xDD
There's a rant coming on, and lots of it are about a certain someone.... not sure if it's safe reading.... but still, had to write it down.
So. Freaked here. Totally weirded out at how I am pink. I'm not saying that I don't have my moments wit the rather stupid moodswings... which make me feel like I'm pregnant. -.- Also, it's not there are never scary moments. Or the moments where I can't stop smiling because of a message of amazing shortness. That make me smile and smile and smile.
No, I don't feel psychotic.
It's just that I am happy. Lots of happy and smile without any reason and yet meaning it.
.... and at the same time, I am quite freaked at how I seemingly can't contain my almost gleeful sentiments at times spurt them randomly, like now.
I KNOW no one wants to read this. Still. Allow me this moment of weakness, kids, where I rant about the things I would have gotten sick over in seconds just... well.... 3 months ago. Don't think I have changed, still sarcasm and mean remarks all the time (and guess who's got to suffer..?)
And yet. I know I am not the same.
I am still me, and change it part of life. Haven't gotten over the realization of behaving like TEH partygirl without realizing it yet, so I won't say that I am absolutely confident that I did everything right. But I like the changes so far quite a lot.
Remember there was a time where I'd say I want to live life without regrets. Now, I don't think that's possible. There are always things that could have gone better, things that I should have done better. So, as life is noisy and stressy right now, I don't believe I'll get to do it right all the way because I will screw up sooner or later, on major and minor things.
I just found the confidence that I'll get up and walk on, and that there will be my loved ones who will catch me and forgive even though I screwed up. :)
(Now don't disclaim that, please....)
Rant over. Do excuse the mushy-ness... I just wanted to say it once, because it is true. Even though I wouldn't admit it.
- Should have taken my toothbrush and stayed over instead of trying to learn at home. It's not working.
- Heard 'How many licks' by Lil'Kim. am FREAKED OUT. not the wheee-kind-of-freaky.
Kate Daniels Series and Midnight's Daughter are also so very very great... makes me want to abandon rl and just.... drown in all the loveliness and gruesome details xDD
There's a rant coming on, and lots of it are about a certain someone.... not sure if it's safe reading.... but still, had to write it down.
So. Freaked here. Totally weirded out at how I am pink. I'm not saying that I don't have my moments wit the rather stupid moodswings... which make me feel like I'm pregnant. -.- Also, it's not there are never scary moments. Or the moments where I can't stop smiling because of a message of amazing shortness. That make me smile and smile and smile.
No, I don't feel psychotic.
It's just that I am happy. Lots of happy and smile without any reason and yet meaning it.
.... and at the same time, I am quite freaked at how I seemingly can't contain my almost gleeful sentiments at times spurt them randomly, like now.
I KNOW no one wants to read this. Still. Allow me this moment of weakness, kids, where I rant about the things I would have gotten sick over in seconds just... well.... 3 months ago. Don't think I have changed, still sarcasm and mean remarks all the time (and guess who's got to suffer..?)
And yet. I know I am not the same.
I am still me, and change it part of life. Haven't gotten over the realization of behaving like TEH partygirl without realizing it yet, so I won't say that I am absolutely confident that I did everything right. But I like the changes so far quite a lot.
Remember there was a time where I'd say I want to live life without regrets. Now, I don't think that's possible. There are always things that could have gone better, things that I should have done better. So, as life is noisy and stressy right now, I don't believe I'll get to do it right all the way because I will screw up sooner or later, on major and minor things.
I just found the confidence that I'll get up and walk on, and that there will be my loved ones who will catch me and forgive even though I screwed up. :)
(Now don't disclaim that, please....)
Rant over. Do excuse the mushy-ness... I just wanted to say it once, because it is true. Even though I wouldn't admit it.
- Should have taken my toothbrush and stayed over instead of trying to learn at home. It's not working.
- Heard 'How many licks' by Lil'Kim. am FREAKED OUT. not the wheee-kind-of-freaky.