Hey jealousy....

[arc_stormcrow]

So, I'm reading a new webcomic by Sarah Ellerton called Phoenix Requiem. I've read some of her other stuff, and I really like her artwork and writing, so I'm digging through the backstory

Comments

[goddess_help_me]

Pain and fear of all kinds tends to slosh around and get messy. And Jealousy is just another form of fear often accompanied by pain. It isn't until we grow strong within ourselves that we can deal effectively with that pain and fear.

[arc_stormcrow]

::nods:: I think that's why I've got such a suspicion about proposed utopias. People are still going to have their fears, still going to react in predictable ways... I don't think that's something that we can just up and do away with. Maybe on the small scale, with a couple of the right people - but as a whole? There's no way we're evolved enough to be anywhere near that point.

[angel_heart]

And so enters Buddhism. You don't have to deny you *have* emotions and reactions, you need to be *aware* of them and control how you *express* them. Most of us are just not disciplined enough for it though to achieve utopia. "It works in theory..."

[roamin_umpire]

Just remember, it could be worse. Instead of Mysterious Man, Local Girl could be showing interest in the Mystery Men. Getting ditched for a guy who throws spoons for a living would just be harsh.

[arc_stormcrow]

"Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well." :D

[sistahraven]

Is it wrong I'd totally do the Shoveler?

[sistahraven]

I'm of the mindset that jealousy happens, and you just need to keep your actions in line with what's appropriate as often as possible. Though I think that about most negative feelings, too. Feel it, acknowledge it, know what's right, and try to land in the "right" category more often than the not-right category.

[allardk]

I have to agree here, there are extremes: the always jealous SO which makes for a very obvious negative, but the never jealous (and by jealous I mean just even that tiny little "Oh, you are going out to dinner with him, again?" or a "Wow, you guys hang out a lot" -- I know it's not perfect but sometimes you want the other person to act like they wish you were going to be spending your time with them, even if it isn't really the case -- maybe not quite jealousy in it's most normal form, but envious of that time not being spent with you). I'm not a very jealous person, but sometimes it is there, I wish I could make it go away 100% of the time, but I can't. The best I can do is to admit I might be somewhat irrational about it and talk it through. It won't always completely go away, but at least that way we are both aware of each other's insecurities and can try to minimize them..

[arc_stormcrow]

There's definitely a line between "not jealous" and "not caring". I mean, if you're confident in your standing, and your needs are being met, then it's perfectly acceptable to be glad to see your SO go out and about - say, for instance, the weekly "pint at the pub" kind of thing. Or, to lock themselves in their secret laboratory, working on their transmatter ray

[allardk]

Agreed, though I think the mad scientest example is really just a cyclical thing, Mrs. Dr. "Terrible"* feels negelected by her husband's devotion to his transmatter ray and turns it in-ward feeling unnecessary in his life. He one day notices that she doesn't bring him Fizzybubbelech any more and gets upset that she ignores him, so even though his ray is complete and doesn't result in anything smelling of cumin, he decides to turn his work to something else to mask his feelings. She meets "Lieutenant Screwdriver"* and his "rhomboids of sympathy"* attract her away from her husband who does no more than mumble at her when she does laundry! Next thing you know it's a Greek tragedy

[taihlo]

wait, so what's wrong with being destructive again?