Dive In Slow

[arcane]

My absence from this journal should be recorded. A lot has changed for me since I last began regularly posting. For better or worse I cannot explain but it is significant. As a teaser I will leave you with an email I had written to someone recently who probably wishes anonymity.

My days go on in much the same way they have been these last few

Comments

[perch_and_creep]

I think I've come up with about ten different beginnings for this comment and I've discarded them all.

It's ironic that I just read Shel Silverstein's A Light in the Attic yesterday. arcane the job wasn't going to give you happiness, the job is there for the financial security or at least relief of pressure so that you don't have to dwell as much about how you are going to pay the bills or where to find gas/food money

[arcane]

It's so hard to reply with the schedule I'm living these days. I have roughtly 8 hours free time to myself per day so mostly it's just spent eating and then sleeping. Occasionally I can sneak away at work and write out a bit, such as now.

Anyway! -- to get to the point of this comment... I really appreciate all of your words. It feels good knowing that there are people who care -- and I honestly believe that you do. Thank you for all of that.

I have a hard time writing posts like these because I don't like people worrying. That goes against everything I try to maintain in this journal, though, honesty being first on the list, but there you have it.

Thank you again though, it really does mean a lot.

[perch_and_creep]

I do care about you.

And I'm looking forward to meeting you next month and going to the concert in July. *smiles*

*hugs*

And I know just what to send you too. *smiles again*

[wonderfungus]

DITTO! I know we've connected on depressed terms before, but you just nailed it! I find myself perking up, knowing that this semester will indeed end and I will in fact graduate (good god I hope so!).

All I can say is even though your happiness may be like the stars and moon, I'd like to remind you that you can get to the moon and stars, it's been done before.

[arcane]

Some days I know it will and some days I'm not so sure. I hate that feeling. You're right though. Everything will turn out fine if I want it badly enough.

And I do.

[catchnteardrops]

'My happiness is like the stars and the moon -- visible and magnificent yet distant and impossibly unreachable except in the depth of my dreams and imagination.'

I don't know that I can say anything better than perch_and_creep did. I can say that I have been (and will be again) where you are now and felt (will feel again) the way you do. There are better days, better times ahead. I promise. I also know that while feeling like this, that statement is almost impossible to believe. I can only say it and know that you know I say that having felt what you feel.

The stars and moon are going no where. They will wait for you. We all get there in our own time. Maybe one day we'll both reach them.

*hugs*

[arcane]

Thank you for your kind words. It can be so hard sometimes but it's really great having people who understand. I appreciate having you as a friend, even if it may be pixilated.