AN OPEN LETTER TO HURRICANE WILMA

[archiedavis]

Dear Hurricane Wilma

Comments

[jaimeee]

man. santa is smarter than
those cookies he chokes down
putting the storms out way
before the yuletide cheer.
i'd have never known the wiser.

of course, this jew never really trusted santa.

[archiedavis]

that's because you were too busy killing jesus.

you know, you guys should class action lawsuit that anti-semitic bastard. he has clearly discriminated against you in the gift giving for years!

[jaimeee]

i smell a made for tee vee movie!

[archiedavis]

hopefully they will get either david hasselhoff or patrick swayze as santa.
dustin hoffman could be the lawyer heading the "schmere" campaign.

[quiet_life]

if Santa wants to regain power over the chillun of today, and gain superpowers, he ought to consider selling out to corporate sponsorship the same way new sports stadiums do in the naming auction block.
i recommend Santa Claus become Sony Clause. the elves can be replaced by Nymphtendos..
Kids will behave or risk losing out on game goodies; they will cower anew.

[archiedavis]

capital idea.
all those ankle biters are going to want a playstation 3.

santa, i mean sony, should get that name change and then pretend he has a corner on the market, and those chillens will fall in line like dominoes.

maybe then he will stop taking it out on florida.

[quiet_life]

hmm, maybe if we send all the children to florida to squeeze out all the old retirees then Sony will lay off. after all, sony ain't nothin' without the consumer base. i mean, without the kids.

[archiedavis]

i dunno.
those elderly have strange, magical powers.

that and they vote like its going out of style!

[cynical5679]

the storm aint the only thing thats been pounding

[archiedavis]

like someone has been pounding faces in oklahoma bars.

[the_pilchard]

I knew something like this would happen. Never trust a man with a beard. They have something to hide.

And as for old guys who come down chimneys and SNEAK into kiddies' bedrooms...

"I was only leaving a present for her, officer."

[archiedavis]

its a pretty twisted racket, if you ask me.

and that tooth fairy? teeth theft for a quarter?
where is the justice?

[sarah_skull]

I was going to make a Bam Bam joke with all of the Flintstones references, but then I remembered that he was a Rubble child. And that it would be a dumb joke...

[archiedavis]

ha.
i made some of those jokes myself.

bam bam wasnt a flintstone? wait, bam bam tried to always get all up on the flintstone's little girl. so yeah, that would have been pretty gross.