Comments | archosauria: [Fic] Second Star to the Right (2/2)

archosauria

[Fic] Second Star to the Right (2/2)

Jun 14, 2009 03:47

Title: Second Star To the Right (2/2)
Characters: America, England, real people whose personalities I made up.
Prompt: America takes England on a NASA mission
Rating: PG
Warnings: In space, nobody is vertical enough to top. Also mangling of real people who had to be there for realism's sake. Also 10,000+ words.
Summary: A last-ditched effort at ( Read more... )

fanfiction, 2009 spring fever fic/art-athon

Comments 38

infiniteowl June 14 2009, 18:20:18 UTC

Oh goodness. I don't care one bit that this fic took a long time to be finished because this part was simply wonderful. The build-up to the confession was paced perfectly, and all the nuanced emotions that came with it made the payoff even more satisfying.

And I think I melted into a puddle when America revealed that he never forgets promises when it comes to England. Awwww. And the epilogue! *melts again*

archosauria June 14 2009, 23:33:11 UTC

I'm glad to hear that my subpar prose hasn't crippled the emotions running in here, and that the buildup works. <3 England's and America's narrative portions were mostly switched in the first draft but they weren't very convincing, and it was a long and headdesk-ing rewrite. So glad to hear it all works out!

America didn't plan on saying all of it, but I don't think England quite realized what kind of expressions he was having in that confession scene and what effect those expressions had. <3 All's well that ends well, though.

tsumetaitsubasa June 17 2009, 00:20:15 UTC

Oh my god, the promise. I just melted, seriously. It was too adorable. This is a beautiful fic, yes. England's character, America trying his best to be the hero, the promise, oh yes, the promise, and especially the bit with England and the sex in zero-gravity. jf;alkfjd I think I might go and make a fancomic of that, seriously needs to be done.

Beautiful, just beautiful~ ♥

archosauria June 17 2009, 02:43:53 UTC

Thank you for the kind words. <3 I really enjoyed writing England's perspective and dropping hints about what he was thinking without actually admitting it proved to be more fun to write than I thought. And aha, the promise was my favourite thing to write in here. It's the one part that went smoothly. XD

Glad everyone seems to be liking the zero-g sex joke. I was quite worried that it'd be totally out of place there!

archosauria June 17 2009, 04:43:56 UTC

Oops, forgot to mention : Feel free to make that fancomic, if you wish to do so! You have my blessings. :D I'd quite like to see how that goes!

katanath June 17 2009, 02:22:54 UTC

I'm really impressed with the amount of research you put into the story's setting (although minor technical nitpick: the shuttle doesn't dock to the ISS until the third day of a mission, due to the amount of time it takes to fly there), and also with how well you write the interactions between England and America. I can't count the number of flight regulations and rules those two must be breaking (like all of them :P ), but having Alfred drag Arthur out to see space is totally worth it. Thanks for a great read!

archosauria June 17 2009, 02:36:42 UTC

Whoops, I didn't know that about the distance to the space station. Granted that the ISS tends to, er, bore me a bit, but I should've picked that up somewhere----writing additional Real Astronauts is a horrifying prospect, but I *should* have realized. Thank you for the heads-up on this!

Re regulations : Rules? What rules? XD My inner realism freak was screaming against the entire spacewalk idea as well, since that was totally AGAINST EVERYTHING. But it wouldn't have the same effect inside, and you know Al would totally do it (and everything else) and burn the rulebooks in front of the national flag. KY as he is. XD

Thank you for reading!

seileach67 June 17 2009, 04:03:33 UTC

Words cannot express the amount of sheer love I have for this fic. <3 <3 <3 <3 *hugs them both*
(Count me in on wanting to see the space-colony-tan if one is going to appear! :D)

archosauria June 17 2009, 04:54:02 UTC

Thank you. <3 All your kind words mean a great deal to me!

(Aha. At this rate, he just might!)

(The comment has been removed)

archosauria June 17 2009, 06:27:51 UTC

I really feel bad for the commander. Poor man. Not only does he have to deal with two extremely high-ranking children amateurs who look young enough to be his sons, he had to learn about his country getting it on with another country. XD

You may think it isn't much, but your comment means a lot to me! Every little comment counts. Seriously. I haven't written fics in a long time and even scraps of feedback help---and you've taken the time to write in detail about what you like, for which I really have to thank you profusely. Really, thank you very much for all the kind words! It is my intent to entertain. :D