sulking

Mar 18, 2016 17:40

Contains triggers whinges and sulking rubbish.

So twenty years out of school and I am still stuck in the gutter fighting the rats for what scraps I can get. Whatever I try to get out of the gutter i am in doesn't seem to work, endless years of repeated trying and I still have no future beyond find food and what is to be done today,
A pile of dark sulking depressive poop that at times is my life, no future and whatever I try I am still back to where I started, so abuse war and a fucked up life before I left school then after school endless trying to get somewhere interspersed with abusive relationships rape and a lack of most things but still I try. But don't give me lectures about tomorrow or the future because they don't exist in my world, all there is is what is the most pressing thing today and what can I find in the gutter, 20p for some biccies a couple of half smoked cigarettes? No job, no income, but worst of all I think I have given up on there being anything else, after 20 years of trying, what's the point? But tomorrow I will still try, will still ponder a way out of the gutter because there is nothing else to do but keep trying. So the illuminator of shadows, my afternoon is poop, but I still like him, anyways, enough sulking. Time to go and try something else.
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