[Fic] Standing Still (Life's Like That) [STXI] Kirk, Spock
Title: Standing Still (Life's Like That)
Author: arccie
Artist: steammmpunk
Rating: G
Word Count: 8860
Warnings: very mild swearing.
Characters/Pairing(s): Jim Kirk, Spock, Enterprise crew (possibly pre-slashy if you squint like woah)
Summary: Pike glares through the screen at the Captain. “Then what is this I hear about giant robots and,” Pike shuffles through the papers in front of him, “dinosaurs? For God’s sake, Kirk!”
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money made. *sobs*
A/N: For trekreversebang. Inspired by the wonderful steammmpunk's art.
Heartfelt thanks to erkkster for the wonderful beta job, and not killing me while I flailed about writing something this long.
First complete story this long since High School. *twiddles thumbs* Could definitely use some practice. 8000 word story is not a good place to finagle character voices. But, Oh well. IT IS DONE!
Enjoy. ^_^
Art preview:
Link to art: here.
Standing Still (Life’s Like That)
James T. Kirk is bored bored bored bored bored. Bored. With a capital B.
And there doesn’t appear to be an easy remedy to his problem anywhere in sight.
Three months out of Earth’s space dock and they had two successfully completed missions under their belts. The fact that the missions consisted of ferrying cargo between point A and point B in no way detracted from the fact that they were a success. Okay, there had also been that amazingly important mission to Star Base 14, but he didn’t really count it as a mission. The Star Fleet PR machine had been out in force, making the Enterprise and their crew good publicity for the Federation. Jim didn’t think he’d ever done so much fake smiling before, and was on the roster with Bones for a debilitating contagious disease next time the opportunity arose.
It was true, however, that the Enterprise was being kept clear of politically delicate situations as they figuratively (it better be figuratively) broke in the flagship (as well as 70% of the, oh so green, crew).
Their current mission was their first venture into the exploration side of Starfleet, and hopefully more missions in that direction would follow. Don’t get him wrong, he understood the importance of providing armed security for important cargo during this time of upheaval following the destruction of Vulcan. He just didn’t think it was the best use of the Enterprise, designed for deep-space exploration and the most beautiful Lady of her class around (just ask Scotty).
While Jim was in the Academy, he never would have believed that a stellar cartography mission was actually a step up in the world. They’d been assigned to map beta quadrant, sector gamma theta 5, an area noted in the initial survey to contain a number if interesting gravitational anomalies. Jim didn’t think he’d been fooling himself when he thought that the mission would be full of intriguing scientific talking points.
But no.
Jim wasn’t allowed to be part of the process of scientific discovery, couldn’t even look over recorder readings because it would interfere with the running of the cartography department. When he’d first expressed interest in it Spock had spouted off a whole bunch of high and mighty Starfleet regulations, how it made it look like he didn’t respect his crews competency and capped off the lecture by telling him he’d make the crew nervous.
(He, James Tiberius Kirk, make the crew nervous? Ha!)
It was regrettable that Spock already knew how unlikely Jim was to follow the rules just because they were the rules, because his First Officer had taken to patrolling the science labs with an eye out to nerve-pinch any wayward straying Captains who might happen by. Or at least that’s how he interpreted the gleam in Spock’s eye when he did randomly wander into the labs on those last few occasions.
Jim could only join in with the paperwork.
So instead of spending a lot of time discovering new and interesting things, Jim got to spend most of the time he was awake bored out of his mind. Not just the “la de da, I should read a book” kind of bored either it was so bad it had almost developed to the stage where everything was so mind-numbingly boring he was going to suffer a mental breakdown and start attacking things just to watch them bleed (and no Bones this hadn’t happened at any time previously in his past, and no it didn’t explain anything about his normal behaviour).
He’d tried the usual methods to entertain himself, read a good book (his entire collection, in fact), got together for drinks with friends (ok, so he wasn’t precisely bored when Bones liquored him up, but alcohol was numbing in a different, not altogether better way at this juncture) and exercised a lot. Unfortunately there were only so many hours one could spend in the gym without looking like they were having issues with their physical appearance. And Jim Kirk was in perfect physical condition, thank you very much (yes Bones, apart from the long list of allergies. You can stop laughing any time now).
His only reprieve was found in sleep and whatever excitement his dreams produced, although he had a bad feeling that the tedium was going to follow him into his dreams and then he’d really be screwed. If it happened he was mutinying against himself and taking over the exciting jobs.
For consolation, in his time of boredom, he’d turned to paperwork. He was actually ahead of the ball and had to wait for the crew to generate more paperwork so he’d have something to do.
He had impressed, possibly frightened, his current Yeoman with his dedication. Apparently Captains weren’t expected to thoroughly read every report that crossed their desks. Sure they read the reports critical to the ship, but the ones from the custodial staff about coffee stains in the rec rooms? Not so much.
He did learn that coffee consumption on delta shift had increased by 15% since leaving Earth and by adjusting the shift changeover times slightly this number had dropped back to a more acceptable 3%.
Doing paperwork was one of the only things he was allowed to do. For all that Pike had lamented the tortures of the form driven Starfleet bureaucracy, Jim was just about ready to go and beg for more. He’d already taken to siphoning off some of Spock’s extra paperwork for something to occupy himself with.
When he’d mentioned his new-found love of paperwork to Bones, his CMO had thought that his love more closely resembled obsession and may be indicative of a psychotic break. Jim had at least managed to waste a few hours in sickbay, although he had been unpleasantly occupied with being stabbed with hypos and scanned for sign of mental deterioration. With no physical evidence, Bones had concluded that it was all mental and had suggested therapy, which Jim had declined.
He still occasionally asked if Jim wanted to talk about it though.
While confined there for the supposedly ‘necessary tests’, Jim had unfortunately learned that even the Captain didn’t have the authority to implement policy changes in the running of sickbay unless those changes were endorsed by the ship’s CMO. This meant he was unable to stop Bones from training his medical personnel to stab Jim with hypos, apparently just for the sake of it.
Sighing, Jim stared blankly at his empty desk and the slowly counting clock. Giving into the tedium he lay his head on the table, lifted his head up, drummed his fingers against the table, took his shoes off, put his shoes on, crossed his legs, uncrossed his legs, crossed them again and glared at the seemingly broken clock whose hands just didn’t appear to be moving. 10:53 and 35 seconds 10:53 and 36 seconds 10:53 and 37 seconds 10:53 and 38 seconds.
Thrusting his hands into his hair, he tugged sharply on the captured strands. Seriously, this was what he was reduced to? Counting seconds on a clock to while away moments of his time? Jesus, soon he’d want to bang his head against the nearest hard object to use up his time (concussions were good for that).
Actually...Jim eyed his desk speculatively before shaking his head decisively. The brief respite from hours of boredom a concussion might bring was not worth being at the mercy of Bones and his hypospray happy personality, or maybe worse, any of the medical personnel Bones had been training to torture patients.
The way he saw it, he basically had 3 options available to him.
1 - Do nothing, maintain the boring status quo and hope things improved on their own.
2 - Literally die of boredom.
3 - Disobey Starfleet regulations (and annoy Spock) and secretly explore the workings of each of the ship’s divisions.
With options like those, the decision practically made itself. His mental and physical health was practically demanding he disobey Spock and discover the nitty gritty workings of each department on the Enterprise. Jim felt his lips stretch wide around an uncontrollable grin.
Time to go and play in other people's playgrounds.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
So, his foray into discovering how the Enterprise’s worker bees live lasts 4 days.
Alright, maybe it was technically a lot less than that. To keep off Spock’s radar for people breaking regulations he’d only been able to snatch a few hours here and there. Forty minutes in the kitchens, an hour and twenty minutes with the custodial staff, five hours in engineering (Scotty really was his favourite, not only keeping an illegal still that Jim didn’t officially know about, but also vowing not to rat him out to Spock), and 2 hours in the Botany labs (Sulu was his second favourite, he’d demonstrated how to handle the dangerous man-eating plants, but had kicked him out when he started to get sniffily because of the pollen).
He didn’t even try to go a play in Bones’ domain. That would only have ended in a lot of pain for Jim.
However, it had clearly been a mistake to try and play in communications. Uhura, the rat, had obviously tattled on him to Spock.
Jim hmphed and slumped deeper into his couch.
“Captain, are you listening to me?” Spock interrupted his wandering thoughts.
Jim waved his hands negligently. “Yep, sure. Not allowed to play in other people’s sandboxes and a life sentenced to tedium, got ya.”
He could practically hear the straightening of Spock’s spine, even as he saw the shoulders go back and the muscles in his jaws flex. “Excuse me, Captain. I do not remember mentioning any sandboxes, nor a life sentence.”
Groaning, he slowly tipped sideways on the couch. “Geez Spock, fine. According to regulations I’m not allowed to ascertain the functioning of any section of the Enterprise except during scheduled status checks, nor am I allowed to join in or any of the crew’s duties even if only for one duty shift, and I can’t touch their equipment. Except in the case of emergencies, which apparently being bored to death does not constitute. Basically I’m not allowed to do anything. That about sum it up, Commander?”
“While this is essentially true,” Spock pauses, actually looking hesitant about going on with whatever he was about to say, “there is scope in your directive to ensure the crew is sufficiently prepared for missions which would allow for you to satisfactorily utilise your time.”
Well that sounded like a bundle of fun, but at this point he’d take anything to relieve the boredom. “Rightio, hit me.” This made Spock shift uncomfortably, his hands twitching at his sides, and Jim continues hastily before Spock took his words literally. “Explain please.”
Spock settles into his lecturer pose, hands clasped behind his back. “As part of your duties as Captain, you are expected to prepare and maintain crew readiness for situations that may arise during the course of our missions. While it is not feasible to train the crew to respond to infinite variables that may be encountered, a sound basis for their response to a variety of scenarios should be instilled as mandated by the Captain’s duty to ensure crew preparedness at all times.”
Jim sits up forcing himself to frown, as though trying to physically hold down the bubble of excitement beginning to grow in his gut, not willing to be disappointed if Spock’s lecture doesn’t go where he thinks it is.
“To fulfil your duty you are encouraged to utilise appropriate measures to ensure satisfactory crew response. In light of this, performance assessments of simulated situations are the method favoured by Starfleet’s administration.”
At Spock’s final pronouncement, he can’t help it. He laughs long and hard, ignoring his First Officer’s air of growing bewilderment which he would never admit even existed. Spock has just handed him the keys to safe, the liquor cabinet, as well as given him the cookie jar as a bonus.
“Soooo,” He drew out the word with evil delight, “you’re saying I can fuck with the entire crew’s heads and it’s part of my job description?”
Spock’s posture stiffens, giving away his annoyance, even as his face remains clear of emotion. “If, by your colourful language, you mean you are expected to creatively define your crew’s reality to assess their performance, then yes, that is what I am saying.”
Jim aims a friendly slap at Spock’s shoulder. “See, I knew you understood Earth idioms better than you generally let on. Mind fuckery it shall be.”
“Evaluating crew performance in simulated situations, Captain.” There is blatant disapproval in Spock’s tone of voice.
Now certain of his understanding of the situation Jim is unable to help himself, rubbing his hands together to express the almost uncontainable glee which is bubbling out. “Blah, blah, blah. Mess with their heads for the sake of crew performance. This is going to be awesome.”
From the slight downwards curl of Spock’s mouth and infinitesimal slumping of his shoulders, Jim could tell that he was already regretting even mentioning the possibility.
Jim didn’t care. As long as he didn’t interfere too early Jim was certain he’d demonstrate to Spock how amazing his ideas were (ignoring Bones opinion on the matter) at a later date. For now, Jim had some planning to do.
X---------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
He started with the tried and true StarFleet simulations. Apparently there was a whole manual full of them that you were supposed to run through, which Spock had been sure to emphasise the importance of.
Reading through the thing, he couldn’t help but to add his own comments in the margin.
What to do if the artificial gravity fails. Float. Ha ha!)
What to do if there’s an explosion in engineering. (Call for Bones and hope it wasn’t anywhere Scotty’s still.)
What to do if the senior officers are incapacitated and the ship comes under attack (They had better run. If they dare scratch the Enterprise there will be consequences.)
What to do if there’s an outbreak of a deadly infectious disease in the sickbay. (Initiate emergency sickbay lockdown protocols and listen to Bones swear over the comm.)
Or if there was an outbreak not in the sickbay. (Initiate makeshift area lockdown and listen to Bones swear over the comm.)
What to do if your main engines are taken offline and you’re caught in a planet’s gravity well. (DIE! Or try to restart the engines until you do.)
What to do if the landing party is captured. (Err...rescue them.)
Or if the landing party is killed. (Recover the bodies and bring a world of hurt down on those responsible.)
Once he has finished flipping through the book he takes a good long hour to just think about what he’s read. It covers most of the situations known to have had disastrous consequences for Starfleet ships in the past. There are a few that can be carried out fairly easily with a few support staff amongst the crewmen being assessed to carry out the ruse.
Ideally he needs some decent actors, but since they’re in short supply he’ll make do with security officers. At least their presence won’t be questioned since they’re meant to be stationed throughout the ship anyway.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
Being a responsible Captain means that he can’t just start springing whacked out situations disguised as performance assessments on the crew. Instead he has to warn the crew that they need to be ready for surprises. The absurdity of this doesn’t escape him.
So his first alpha shift after his conversation with Spock, he manages to constrain himself to merely bounce onto the Bridge to take his place in his chair (his chair) rather than the mad dash of elation he is initially tempted into. It is difficult to wait a full 30 minutes into the start of the shift to make the announcement and involves much discreet fidgeting.
“Attention crew of the Enterprise, this is your Captain,” That never got old. “It has been brought to my attention that I have been remiss in fulfilling my duty to prepare for future missions that might not be as sedate as our current mission. To that end, you are to be prepared for any and every situation and act accordingly should they arise. Be aware and be prepared people. That is all. Kirk out.”
The officers on the Bridge decide to stare at Jim in bemusement, so he tries aiming a disarming grin their way. He is not able to resist returning a little aggravation to Uhura for ratting him out to Spock, even if his new source of distraction is potentially triple the fun, and aims a particular winsome smile in her direction. “Some enterprising communications officer felt it necessary to inform Commander Spock that the Captain’s presence in their department was disruptive. So instead he suggested I run a variety of emergency response protocol assessments at a time and place to be announced to participants after the simulation has ended.” He pauses to let the full horror of the situation sink in. “Won’t that be fun for everyone.”
Leaving them with that thought he hands the conn to Spock and heads into his ready room to spend some personal time with his paperwork. The pile of pads waiting for him is barely worth an hour’s work, with it primarily being what-happened-while-you-were-sleeping reports (mostly nothing, stars were mapped, nobody died).
He is in there less than 15 minutes before he is joined by an angrily huffing Bones who launches into a diatribe before Jim can even think to speak.
“Damnit Jim, what fool thing have you got planned now?”
Jim smiles mildly. “Why hello there Bones. How nice to see you this fine alpha shift.”
“Now, don’t give me that” Bones waves his finger menacingly in Jim’s direction. “You’re planning performance assessments, why wasn’t I told immediately? I need to be prepared for all the stupid injuries that will result from these simulations of yours.”
Dramatically clutching at his chest he says, “You wound me Bones. No plan of mine ever ends with injuries.”
“Pull the other one Kid.” Bones says gruffly, adopting an impressively menacing stance. “Now talk!”
Because he can’t think of a better reason not to he does, explaining his in progress plans to entertain himself with emergency simulations to assess crew performance. He may sound a little too excited about some of the ideas he has to catch his crew by surprise, but he’s only human. Bones should understand his need for distraction.
However, Bones is looking anything but impressed by his plans, shaking his head with the beginning of annoyance.
“I swear I don’t know what Starfleet was thinking leaving an overgrown man-child like you in charge of their flagship.”
Jim flutters his lashes and nods mock seriously. “It’s because I’m pretty.”
For a second it looks as though Bones will cuff him around the ears as he did so many times before while they were at the academy, but that is just not done to star ship captains and he manages to resist the urge.
“Jim, you and this silly plan of yours is going to drive your crew to collapse. I’m going to have a sickbay full of people driven there by stress. Not only are you going to make them worry about what freakish horror is waiting for them out in space, but also whether you’re going to blow thing up in their face for your entertainment, oh sorry, I mean evaluations.”
He sits up and settles into his very serious captain pose, because despite the fact that he sees a huge potential for entertainment in the simulations, he understands how important they could be to the future survival of his crew.
So he explains it that way to Bones. “OK, I know I may be making light of them, but I am not doing this solely for its entertainment value. It could be critical at some later time for the crew to be able to respond efficiently and appropriately in the dangerous circumstances they may find themselves. Since we currently have some time where we aren’t likely to come under threat as we map stars, we should take the opportunity to lay a foundation for how they will react now.”
Given that Bones has known Jim as long as he has he should be able to read the sincerity in the statement as well as the bullshit he calls at other times. After a long hard glare Bones relents.
“Alright Kid, heavens knows it’s your show, but I want to observe these assessments you’ve got planned. Just in case. And I reserve the right to pull the plug if it’s inducing too much stress amongst the crew.”
“I can agree to that. Besides it will be good to have a doctor nearby in case of any stray injuries.”
The rise of Bones eyebrow is sardonic. “I thought injuries didn’t happen in any of your plans.”
Jim merely smirks.
And if Bones thinks he’s going to be exempt from these assessments he has another thing coming, but Jim’s willing to let him discover that surprise later.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
The first situation is easy to carry out. Injured crew member with no medical personnel nearby. It should be simple for the unknowing crew to respond appropriately.
All he has to do is send in his puppets and he can watch the show via the security footage with a bag of popcorn, Bones annoyed muttering and Spock’s silent presence for company.
Ensign Furiko of engineering, usually of security, accompanies a team of engineers to check on a report of ventilation error occurring in cargo bay 2. The group have been in there 10 minutes when there is a sudden burst of gas released from one of the pipes they are working on and Ensign Furiko drops to the deck convulsing.
It takes 28 seconds for the rest of the group to react. Ensign Thewl is the quickest, moving to check over Furiko and is soon joined by Lieutenant Olgart who proceeds to yell into their comm for medical. Both breathe in the gas being released from the pipe.
In the meantime Ensign Thompson and Security Officer Jacobs set about isolating the pipe from the system and shutting the gas off. The remaining Ensign and Security Officer mill about the area, managing to get in the way when the medical personnel do rush onto the scene.
Ensign Furiko is, of course, fine; the state of the crew response to an emergency, not so much.
Jim turns and smiles weakly at Bones and Spock.”Well, aren’t we glad this was only a drill?”
After the situation is wrapped up and the scenario explained to the crew involved, they provide feedback on each crewmembers performance.
(28 seconds to react to a fellow crew member convulsing on the floor is 27 seconds too long to stand around surprised.
There’s no point in helping your team member if you’re going to end up needing help as well.
Standing around and not getting in the way when other people have control of the situation is fine. Getting in the way of medical personnel, however, is a big no no.)
It’s only constructive criticism at this point, but the group involved look practically devastated by their failure and so Jim dismisses them with an admonishment to seriously learn from the experience.
When word gets around of the results of the first review there is a sudden increase in the number of people accessing the files for emergency first aid on the ship’s mainframe. Some few brave souls even stop by sickbay for a refresher course from some of the less intimidating nurses.
It’s not, Jim decides, a bad outcome for the first go.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
From there Jim works to spread the joy amongst the entire crew. It’s not an everyday event, but makes sure to steadily work through the Starfleet scenarios.
It even appears to grow on the crew if the ranking list of things like most times dying (Ensign James Gilchrist with a standing count of 23) and most dramatic death scene (Ensign Kirga Merok is currently winning after oozing fluid from all her external orifices in a striking portrayal of the effects of unknown virus X) that has appeared in the rec rooms is any indication.
Bones was not at all amused when he found out he was participating in the performance evaluations. There had been a lot of cursing and swearing, and even though Jim had placated him with a bottle of good whiskey he was dreading his next regular medical check up. Even if he did hate the entire thing with the hatred of a thousand fiery suns he wasn’t getting out of it, and so put up with it with extremely bad grace and the occasional death threat directed at Jim.
Jim is actually surprised at how serious he is about the performance assessments. While it had mostly started as entertainment, somewhere along the way he remembered that he was basically training his crew how to survive.
And that is something he is determined to ensure.
Over time he increases the complexity and difficulty of the scenarios crew are faced with, multiple variables determining a course of action for the participants.
These work as a build up to the simulations he programs into the holodeck. Since the deck has only basic functions for depicting the environment he has to tweak and nudge the programming to be suitable to imitate possible away mission worlds or extensive ship damage.
Due to the nature of getting people into the holodeck room, the performance assessments unfortunately lose their edge of surprise, but the increased number of variables and situations he can assess more than makes up for it.
Not to be left out, both Spock and he had had their go running through simulations that the other had programmed.
Strangely enough Jim wasn’t surprised to find himself in command of a starship on a rescue mission for a ship stranded on the edge of the neutral zone. He also didn’t think Spock was surprised to be in command of a starship where a ridiculous number of Klingon warbirds made an appearance.
The crew even seemed to be in on the joke.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
Overall Spock finds himself unsure what to believe about Kirk’s character.
His initial impression of the man was formed primarily from second hand opinions and their conflict over the Kobayashi Maru. Even his actions during the confrontation with Nero did not make Spock Believe Kirk was a capable Captain.
Having observed Kirk during his first few months of his official Captaincy of the Enterprise Spock was inclined to think Kirk was a child playing at being captain. The Enterprise had managed to complete a number of missions successfully, but this was largely in spite of Kirk’s role of Captain. He had not demonstrated any particular aptitude for leadership of a vessel during peacetime. The only exception to this seemed to be the unusual affinity Kirk had developed for paperwork. As Captain he had gone as far as to take over some of the paperwork that was regularly delegated to the First Officer.
However, Kirk’s dedication to the planning and administration of performance evaluations had managed to surprise Spock. With the completion of the previous stellar cartography mission and receiving orders for an interesting diplomatic mission, Spock admits he had expected Kirk to lose interest in the performance evaluations. Yet this has failed to occur.
While Kirk has reduced the regularity of the evaluations as he concentrates on the critical details of the cultures they will be expected to negotiate with, as is logical, the Captain continues to improve and supervise the simulations.
Kirk’s dedication to improving the crew’s skills is obvious in his planning of the simulations. The scenarios are clearly designed to provide the crew with the tools for their survival should dire circumstances require them.
At the same time Kirk still seemed to treat Starfleet and all it stood for as an ongoing practical joke. His demeanour was frequently crass and immature.
Spock was unsure how to classify the Captain.
It was perhaps unfortunate that recent distance in his association with Nyota prevented him from seeking her out for advice. His initial decision to travel to the new Vulcan colony rather than remain in Starfleet had left a strain in their relationship which had resulted in the majority of their present interactions being related solely to ship’s business. Her absence from his off duty hours was regrettable, particularly at times like this where he believed she could offer him valuable insight, especially into Kirk who she had previously mentioned seemed to shadow her throughout their years at the Academy.
As things stood, it appeared he required further instances of data to be able to reach an acceptable conclusion about the Captain.
With approximately another 4 years, 6 months, 19 days, 7 hours and 15 minutes remaining of their assignment aboard the Enterprise Spock believed he had sufficient time to reach the appropriate assessment of Kirk.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
As they had settled into their roles and duties as Captain and First Officer, particularly since Spock had provided Jim with hours of distraction in the form of performance reviews (read: torturing the crew in the name of training), the interactions between Spock and him had become much friendlier. In any case, Jim felt less like Spock was speaking down to a very well trained monkey. Their relationship had even developed to the point where Spock felt comfortable enough to join Jim in his ready room while they completed all the menial paperwork and other fun things that went with being the Enterprise’s commanding officers. (He may even eventually convince Spock that calling him Jim again someday would not actually kill Spock).
Jim enjoys Spock working nearby as it presents an opportunity to badger him about things that have been on his mind without the rest of the crew as an audience.
Like now, with another stellar cartography mission on their plates, Jim thinks it’s the perfect opportunity to convince Spock about an idea he’s been mulling over for a while.
“Soooo Spock,” Jim starts, gently wheedling.
Unfortunately Spock is already shaking his head.
“Come on Spock,” Jim pleads, “You haven’t even heard what I was going to say.”
“From previous experience you only use that particular tone of voice any time you wish to incite me to participate in illogical proceedings. I was trying to reduce the amount of time that must be wasted in the conversation before I logically rejected partaking in any such plans” Spock taps firmly at his PADD as though to indicate he had finished with the discussion.
Jim shrugs to himself, it was true, but that didn’t mean he was giving up the argument. He was willing to talk himself hoarse to get his point across to Spock.
“Look, I’ve run through all the prescribed scenarios suggested in the manual, and I am fairly certain at this point that if any situations similar to the standard scenarios occur, the crew will be able to respond quickly and decisively and in the best manner they can under the circumstances. However, it’s the things Starfleet hasn’t even thought of that will trip them up.” He pauses to marshal his thoughts and notes that the fingers tapping on Spock’s PADD have slowed and gentled, suggesting that what Jim is saying is at least being heard.
“We’ve got the best and brightest on board Spock and eventually Starfleet command is going to want to take the training wheels off and put those resources to use. We’re a deep space exploration ship and the Federation requires allies to deter the Klingons and Romulans rumbling impatiently on their side of the neutral zone. Who knows what we’ll encounter once we’re let off the leash? It could be anything from government intrigue to sentient planets. And, yes, I realise we can’t prepare them for every possibility we may encounter, but we can lay the basis for the right frame of thought and quick response.”
Eyebrow entirely lost into his hairline Spock puts his PADD down entirely. “Your argument is surprisingly logical Captain, and framed remarkably coherently.”
“Well, it had to happen sometime.” Probably rubbed off on him due to the amount of time he spends in Spock’s presence. “Now, what I propose is to add completely unexpected variables to the simulations to keep the crew on their toes. What do you say?”
He is subjected to a deeply scrutinising look from his First Officer which he tries to withstand by projecting determination and sincerity. It must work on some level (or he’d misread the look entirely) because with a decisive press of his thumb Spock pulls up a blank screen ready for notes.
“What did you have in mind?”
Before Spock can change his mind, unlikely as that may be, Jim reaches for his own PADD pulling up the plans he had jotted down earlier.
It takes some discussion for them to settle on prospective new variables and situations to include in the performance evaluations. Mostly it involves Jim arguing Spock off his perch of logic.
(“A revolution of animated kitchen utensils.” Spock blankly parrots.
“What?” Jim asks defensively. “It could happen.”
“No.”
“Giant killer robots, Captain?” Spock queries. “That is highly improbable.”
Jim senses an opportunity. “But it could be possible that there is a technologically advanced society out there who sees the logic in a large mechanical army compared to weak and fallible people.”
“It is not entirely unfeasible. “ Spock concedes. “However, the likelihood that we will encounter such beings is 347,789,600 to 1, Captain.”
“That is not a no.”
“An ion storm gives the Enterprise sentience and the ship decides it dislikes the crew.” Jim tries
Spock’s voice is hard and flat. “If that were the case, then no response the crew made would affect the outcome. The ship need only vent the atmosphere and the entire crew would be dead within minutes.”
“So that’s a no?”
“That is, indeed, a no.”
“Tiny people.” Jim exclaims. “Our crew should be able to appropriately interact with beings 1/100th of our size."
Spock very obviously does not sigh. Jim takes it as a yes.)
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
When he first introduces his WTHTSNH (What The Hell This Should Never Happen) scenarios into the mix of standard simulations the crew is very obviously very unhappy. Spock and he had worked very hard to make the realistic and achievable, but only 1 of 7 groups’ results are passable. As each group exits there is a loud exclamation questioning how they’re supposed to prepare for something like that, as well as quiet muttering about excessive training and an abuse of power.
Disappointment weighs heavily on Jim’s shoulders for the next few days. Giving up on the new scenarios, however, is out of the question.
Maybe Jim should throw his hat into the ring and demonstrate how to survive when the universe was throwing bad shit at you from all angles.
But he will make his crew able to satisfactorily pass all the simulations.
His crew is going to survive anything from dinosaurs to mutant bread mould should they have to. Jim will show them where there’s a will there’s a way and Spock will help him teach them just how to strategise their survival.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
As part of his job as First Officer, Spock was expected to act as a liaison between the captain and the crew if problems arose. However, in the time since departing Earth space dock it appeared that the crew had appointed Lieutenant Uhura as a liaison between the crew and himself. Of the 5 problems that had been brought to his attention, like that of Ensign Strauss and Ensign H’tviak where the latter was culturally required to burn a form of incense prior to sleep which the former was to quote “made physically sick by”, it was Uhura who had approached him each time.
Therefore Uhura’s desire for a meeting a few days after the Captain introduces the new scenarios to the crew performance evaluations is not completely unexpected. She, like most of the crew, had recently run through one of the new scenarios and unsatisfactorily completed the simulation. Her group had failed to stop an ecological disaster when an asteroid was on a collision course with a colonised planet, persisting with negotiation long after another alternative should have been pursued.
“Commander Spock,” her voice fairly trembles with outrage, “the crew would like to lodge a complaint against the new simulations the Captain has introduced. They are unnecessary and demoralising the crew. While I could see their purpose in an academic setting, the logistics of failure imbued in the simulations on an active service starship is completely inappropriate.”
“Lieutenant Uhura, while the simulations may seem difficult to approach satisfactorily currently, it is expected that the crew will improve over time. At this time I see no logical reason to alter the current simulation configuration. Captain Kirk and I agreed on this course of action and the argument for their inclusion still remains relevant.”
“You can’t seriously expect the crew to jump through the ridiculous hoops for Kirk’s...”
“Captain Kirk, Lieutenant.” Spock interrupts to correct.
“...Captain Kirk’s amusement!” She finishes loudly.
“That is a serious insinuation to make Lieutenant and I can report that the new scenarios have not been implemented for the purpose of the Captain’s ‘amusement’. I am fully cognizant of the reason for the variables that have been introduced and wholly support the Captain’s decision in this matter.”
“Not entertainment, Spock?” Uhura asks angrily. “He’s got engineers playing at being communications officers.”
“If you see it that way then you have failed to ascertain the purpose of the simulations. While all the scenarios have the same base parameters, each is programmed with variables for the expectation of the participating crew’s capabilities.” He explains calmly.
“You can’t expect engineers and security officers to negotiate cessation of hostilities?”
Remembering the Captain’s entirely logical arguments, of the infinite possibilities they may encounter in the future, as well as his strong desire to impart all the tools possible to help ensure the crew’s survival, makes him answer her with another question.
“And what, Lieutenant Uhura, if one day that is precisely what is required? He gives her a moment to think on that before the time necessitates his presence elsewhere. “Please excuse me, Lieutenant. There is an experiment in that lab which requires my attention.”
In the next couple of days the groups taking part in the simulations seem to realise that although there are new situations and variables in the performance evaluations, their experience in the earlier simulations was translatable to the new ones, and that satisfactory performance was not necessarily about defeating the scenario. With this realisation the number of groups which manage to complete the simulation satisfactorily increases significantly and the crew appear to be starting to comprehend the purpose of the new simulations, so Spock believes he has heard the last of the matter raised brought to his attention by Uhura. Therefore it is entirely unexpected to have Admiral Pike comm the bridge wanting an explanation for the complaints Starfleet had received about Kirk abusing his authority.
Having heard similar accusations all too recently, Spock immediately turns to look at Uhura, but she looks as surprised as the rest of the Bridge crew.
“Abuse, sir?” Kirk asks carefully.
“Demoralising and unnecessary training for the Captain’s amusement, does that ring any bells for you Kirk?” Pike all but growls at the Captain.
Spock watches Kirk’s spine stiffen as he returns the Admiral’s gaze.
“While the scenarios I have chosen to simulate to assess the crew’s performance are unorthodox Admiral, I assure you they are about training the crew to react under highly unusual circumstances should it be required.” Sincerity radiates from Kirk’s words, and he leans forward in his chair to emphasise his point to the Admiral. “It is not about entertainment, sir, but survival.”
Pike glares through the screen at the Captain. “Then what is this I hear about giant robots and,” Pike shuffles through the papers in front of him, “dinosaurs? For god’s sake Kirk!”
Rising, Spock steps into place behind the Captain’s chair, interrupting the conversation before Kirk can reply.
“Sir. Such accusations were recently brought to my attention and I thought I had addressed the crew’s concerns sufficiently.”
Gaze shifting off Kirk, Pike studies Spock. “Alright Mr. Spock, tell me what you think of these simulations that Captain Kirk has introduced.”
Spock stares straight ahead and carefully does not look at Kirk as he answers. “I admit I was initially dubious when the Captain first introduced the idea Admiral. However, after discussing the matter I believed that the Captain made a valuable point when he observed the need for the crew to be able to respond to an infinite number of variables in the future. As Captain Kirk said, they are unorthodox, but their premise is entirely logical.”
The admiral looks between Spock and the Captain slowly, his eyebrows raised high in surprise before he laughs, head thrown back against his chair.
Spock is uncertain what has caused the hilarity, but suspects it may be related to a sense of the ironic.
“Alright Kirk, if Commander Spock is willing to testify to the logic of the simulations you’re running then they can’t be as harebrained as they seem from the description Starfleet has been getting. I will keep Starfleet command off your back about this, but don’t expect Starfleet to actually approve of any of your unorthodox simulations. You’re on your own there boys.”
Kirk shrugs carelessly as though he had not been expecting any differently.
“Oh, and Kirk, at least try to stay out of trouble for the next month will you? I’m going on vacation and would prefer not to be disturbed halfway through because the Admiralty wants someone to ride herd on you.”
Kirk throws out a leisurely salute and chuffs out a quiet laugh as Pike cuts the connection, returning the view screen to its starry vista.
Kicking his feet out carelessly and leaning back in his chair, Kirk addresses the Bridge staff casually. “Well, there you go kids, official validation without the trouble of anything being officially approved. Ain’t bureaucracy grand?”
The Bridge crew are silent, but a smile light on each of their faces as they nod and return their attention to their duty stations.
Spock gives the Captain his own quietly respectful nod before he returns to his duty station.
He has, Spock realises, just positioned himself firmly at Kirk’s side.
Although he had meditated on his impression of the Captain he had not realised he had come to any firm conclusions. However, it appears as though his subconscious was able to reach a decision he was not ware he had made.
The Captain is immature and prone to over exuberance, but he is dedicated and determined, and unwavering in his efforts to ensure the crew’s survival.
When he had decided not to resign from Starfleet after his older counterpart had persuaded him of the logic in following the path he desired rather than the one expected of him, he had believed James Tiberius Kirk would be his ship mate. He had not expected to find much worth in the man, even after they had managed to work together to stop Earth’s destruction.
He was, for once, quite glad to be wrong.
Kirk and the well trained crew he was working to create would be worth Spock’s decision to stay in Starfleet.
Together they would guide the crew and teach them to the best of their ability so that the crew would have the chance to survive the horrible and the merely strange that the universe would throw at them.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
3 Years Later
Screams bouncing among buildings seem to resonate deep into the human mind, even when you knew they were faked.
Crouching lower, Jim took a second to poke his head around the corner and ascertain their enemies’ position.
Flipping his communicator open, he spoke softly into the receiver. “Team 4, ready? Team 5 ready? On my mark?”
There was a few seconds of silence before two clear but quiet 'Affirmatives’ sounded. Jim gestured with quick, decisive fingers at his own accompanying teams. Team 1 go on the mark, Team 2 circle for best vantage point and Team 3 ready and waiting for support.
Receiving watchful nods from each of the team leaders, he took a moment to close his eyes and just breathe before he said distinctly into his communicator “Mark!”
No sooner had he finished saying it and his teams were on the move. Five teams converging on their targets conducting offensive manoeuvres and Jim smack, bang in the middle of it. Orchestrating, in fact, what was barely controlled chaos.
The flash of phaser fire, the crash and rumble of buildings being destroyed, his crew’s rallying shouts...
And over all of it, the screaming echoes amongst the buildings.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
Establishing peace was such a nice thing to be a part of, Jim thought.
Jogging over and around the piles of debris their assault and their attacker’s retaliations had created, he was careful to avoid inuring himself. It would be ridiculous for him to have made it through the battle unscathed only to break his ankle on a loose rock.
Moving past one of the giant robots that had been harassing the Ferinthelli city for the last five years, legs destroyed and trailing wires from its central circuitry, he felt a fierce well of pride push at his lungs in the face of this evidence of the Enterprise crew’s proficiency. Unable to contain himself, he aimed friendly shoulder slaps at three passing security officers and a cheery thumbs-up at a scurrying Ensign.
The current tally:
Jim Kirk and the Enterprise: 1
Giant Killer Robots: 0
All the wounded had been transported up to the Enterprise to receive treatment in sickbay, the ground crew remaining were on clean up duty.
Stopping in approximately the centre of what had been their battlefield, the main road through the Ferinthelli capital city surrounded by some of the only sturdy rock buildings with roof access enabling the Enterprise’s high ground advantage and victory over the machines. He cups his hands around his mouth so his shout carries through the cityscape and is heard by all the Enterprise crew in the area. “As Captain of the Enterprise I would like to thank and congratulate all crewmembers who had a hand in our victory today. While we are primarily a peace keeping force it is good to know that I have a crew that can stomp hostile forces into the ground if needed.” There will be formal speeches and commendations later. For now he just wants the crew to know how proud he is of their achievements today.
After a moment he impulsively tags on the end, “And if someone can quiet the damn screaming my ears would be most appreciative.”
It sends a ripple of laughter through the crew and an Ensign an intersection away from Jim’s position shouts a hearty, “Aye aye, Captain” and hurries away to turn the recordings off.
Soon the Ferinthelli will venture out of their bunkers, once they realise the sounds of destruction have stopped. Until then it was just the crew of the Enterprise treating victory over giant killer robots as an everyday occurrence.
Looking over his busy crew, he catches sight of Spock busily extracting the secrets of the giant robots from one of the few that are still upright and mostly intact.
Taking a running start, Jim bounds up the robot’s side and joins Spock on the platform, flopping down to sit on the very edge, legs swinging idly back and forth. Spock pauses in his tinkering to pin Jim with a questioning glance.
“I just realised I hadn’t received an update from my First Officer in a while so I dropped by to say hi. I don’t suppose you’ve discovered anything interesting since we last spoke?”
Spock’s eyebrow rose sharply to just below his hairline and he replied almost archly. “I have made a number of interesting discoveries since we last spoke. However, as they are in the realm of scientific findings I suspect they are of no particular interest to you at this juncture.”
“Nah, not at the moment.”Jim shook his head. “I’ll just read the reports later, although I wouldn’t mind having a tinker round in the guts of these monstrosities before we heave to. For that matter I think Scotty would like to get his hands on them at some point. I’m actually surprised he isn’t down here yet.”
“Commander Scott did indeed request permission to beam down earlier. However, I took the liberty of ordering he stay aboard the Enterprise until either you or myself were able to return to the ship on the slight chance that there would be further attacks launched on the Ferinthelli.” Spock said stiffly.
Jim laughed. “So it wasn’t just that you wanted to get at all the interesting scientific discoveries first?” His body was practically vibrating with the force of his glee at being able to tease Spock.
Spock’s shoulders drew back in affront and his eyebrow shot down out of his hairline. “I assure you that my considerations for issuing that order were...”
Jim cut him off with a smile. “I know Spock. You wouldn’t ever monopolise the toys and keep them away from the other kids. You’re all about the sharing.”
Eyeing him suspiciously as he ascertained the sincerity of Jim’s flippant words, Spock eventually nodded and returned to checking the readout on the PADD he had hooked up to the machines internal computer.
Surveying the scene of destruction he said quietly, “We did good today Spock. Twelve wounded and no fatalities amongst the Enterprise’s crew or the Ferinthelli. And we stopped 20 giant robotic combatants. It feels like a good day to be Captain.”
Lasting peace would still need to be brokered between the Ferinthelli and the Nurengum, owners of the robots. However, Spock had concluded earlier that all the robots were much older than the initial contact between the two peoples and the Enterprise may have disabled their entire robot army. It would be difficult, but with their decisive victory under his belt Jim was feeling optimistic.
“It was fortunate that your unorthodox approach to the training and preparedness of the Enterprise’s crew allowed us to be prepared for such a situation.”
“Why, Commander Spock, was that a compliment?” He grins brightly at the other man.
Spock inclined his head gracefully. “You may take it as such.”
“Aww shucks, you’ll make a girl blush.” He says playfully coquettish.
Spock, of course, does not respond to his comment, but Jim’s good mood can’t be contained and he lets it spill over into good natured teasing of Spock.
“So Commander Spock, tell me the probability of running into giant killing robots again?” He asks lightly.
“As you likely remember with perfect accuracy, the chance was calculated to be 347,789,600 to 1. However, in the face of our current circumstances, it would seem that those numbers would need to be revised.” Spock didn’t even pause in his work.
Jim leant back until Spock was in reach and proceeded to thump his foot in mock outrage. “Ah ah, no take-backs.”
“It is not, as you say, a take-back if I must revise my calculations due to information I was not aware of when you previously questioned the existence of circumstance where we would be liable to be confronted with giant killer robots.” Spoke said as dryly as ever
“Pfft.” Jim waved his hand dismissively and sing-songed, “Take-back~”
Spock eyed him carefully for a moment before returning to his examination of the robot, and responding with what passed for Spock’s version of sarcasm. “Whatever you say, Captain.”
Smirking, he shook his head at Spock’s response. They’d corrupt Spock with their Earth-ways eventually. For now Jim would have to make do with basking in their armed victory.
At a sudden odd thought, he chuckles loudly, drawing Spock’s attention once more.
“You think Starfleet will approve the giant killer robot simulations now Spock?”
The sardonic lift of Spock’s eyebrow is answer enough, but Jim also spots a minute quirking of Spock’s lips into what could practically be called a smile, sharing the joke with Jim.
Somehow, Jim felt he may just have won twice today.
The Enterprise hadn’t managed to discover any civilisations comprised of tiny people, zombie making viruses nor poisonous gas cloud creatures yet.
Jim smiled out at his crew, perched atop the casing of a vanquished giant killer robot.
There was still plenty of time to find them.
Art by steammmpunk
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
Author: arccie
Artist: steammmpunk
Rating: G
Word Count: 8860
Warnings: very mild swearing.
Characters/Pairing(s): Jim Kirk, Spock, Enterprise crew (possibly pre-slashy if you squint like woah)
Summary: Pike glares through the screen at the Captain. “Then what is this I hear about giant robots and,” Pike shuffles through the papers in front of him, “dinosaurs? For God’s sake, Kirk!”
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money made. *sobs*
A/N: For trekreversebang. Inspired by the wonderful steammmpunk's art.
Heartfelt thanks to erkkster for the wonderful beta job, and not killing me while I flailed about writing something this long.
First complete story this long since High School. *twiddles thumbs* Could definitely use some practice. 8000 word story is not a good place to finagle character voices. But, Oh well. IT IS DONE!
Enjoy. ^_^
Art preview:
Link to art: here.
Standing Still (Life’s Like That)
James T. Kirk is bored bored bored bored bored. Bored. With a capital B.
And there doesn’t appear to be an easy remedy to his problem anywhere in sight.
Three months out of Earth’s space dock and they had two successfully completed missions under their belts. The fact that the missions consisted of ferrying cargo between point A and point B in no way detracted from the fact that they were a success. Okay, there had also been that amazingly important mission to Star Base 14, but he didn’t really count it as a mission. The Star Fleet PR machine had been out in force, making the Enterprise and their crew good publicity for the Federation. Jim didn’t think he’d ever done so much fake smiling before, and was on the roster with Bones for a debilitating contagious disease next time the opportunity arose.
It was true, however, that the Enterprise was being kept clear of politically delicate situations as they figuratively (it better be figuratively) broke in the flagship (as well as 70% of the, oh so green, crew).
Their current mission was their first venture into the exploration side of Starfleet, and hopefully more missions in that direction would follow. Don’t get him wrong, he understood the importance of providing armed security for important cargo during this time of upheaval following the destruction of Vulcan. He just didn’t think it was the best use of the Enterprise, designed for deep-space exploration and the most beautiful Lady of her class around (just ask Scotty).
While Jim was in the Academy, he never would have believed that a stellar cartography mission was actually a step up in the world. They’d been assigned to map beta quadrant, sector gamma theta 5, an area noted in the initial survey to contain a number if interesting gravitational anomalies. Jim didn’t think he’d been fooling himself when he thought that the mission would be full of intriguing scientific talking points.
But no.
Jim wasn’t allowed to be part of the process of scientific discovery, couldn’t even look over recorder readings because it would interfere with the running of the cartography department. When he’d first expressed interest in it Spock had spouted off a whole bunch of high and mighty Starfleet regulations, how it made it look like he didn’t respect his crews competency and capped off the lecture by telling him he’d make the crew nervous.
(He, James Tiberius Kirk, make the crew nervous? Ha!)
It was regrettable that Spock already knew how unlikely Jim was to follow the rules just because they were the rules, because his First Officer had taken to patrolling the science labs with an eye out to nerve-pinch any wayward straying Captains who might happen by. Or at least that’s how he interpreted the gleam in Spock’s eye when he did randomly wander into the labs on those last few occasions.
Jim could only join in with the paperwork.
So instead of spending a lot of time discovering new and interesting things, Jim got to spend most of the time he was awake bored out of his mind. Not just the “la de da, I should read a book” kind of bored either it was so bad it had almost developed to the stage where everything was so mind-numbingly boring he was going to suffer a mental breakdown and start attacking things just to watch them bleed (and no Bones this hadn’t happened at any time previously in his past, and no it didn’t explain anything about his normal behaviour).
He’d tried the usual methods to entertain himself, read a good book (his entire collection, in fact), got together for drinks with friends (ok, so he wasn’t precisely bored when Bones liquored him up, but alcohol was numbing in a different, not altogether better way at this juncture) and exercised a lot. Unfortunately there were only so many hours one could spend in the gym without looking like they were having issues with their physical appearance. And Jim Kirk was in perfect physical condition, thank you very much (yes Bones, apart from the long list of allergies. You can stop laughing any time now).
His only reprieve was found in sleep and whatever excitement his dreams produced, although he had a bad feeling that the tedium was going to follow him into his dreams and then he’d really be screwed. If it happened he was mutinying against himself and taking over the exciting jobs.
For consolation, in his time of boredom, he’d turned to paperwork. He was actually ahead of the ball and had to wait for the crew to generate more paperwork so he’d have something to do.
He had impressed, possibly frightened, his current Yeoman with his dedication. Apparently Captains weren’t expected to thoroughly read every report that crossed their desks. Sure they read the reports critical to the ship, but the ones from the custodial staff about coffee stains in the rec rooms? Not so much.
He did learn that coffee consumption on delta shift had increased by 15% since leaving Earth and by adjusting the shift changeover times slightly this number had dropped back to a more acceptable 3%.
Doing paperwork was one of the only things he was allowed to do. For all that Pike had lamented the tortures of the form driven Starfleet bureaucracy, Jim was just about ready to go and beg for more. He’d already taken to siphoning off some of Spock’s extra paperwork for something to occupy himself with.
When he’d mentioned his new-found love of paperwork to Bones, his CMO had thought that his love more closely resembled obsession and may be indicative of a psychotic break. Jim had at least managed to waste a few hours in sickbay, although he had been unpleasantly occupied with being stabbed with hypos and scanned for sign of mental deterioration. With no physical evidence, Bones had concluded that it was all mental and had suggested therapy, which Jim had declined.
He still occasionally asked if Jim wanted to talk about it though.
While confined there for the supposedly ‘necessary tests’, Jim had unfortunately learned that even the Captain didn’t have the authority to implement policy changes in the running of sickbay unless those changes were endorsed by the ship’s CMO. This meant he was unable to stop Bones from training his medical personnel to stab Jim with hypos, apparently just for the sake of it.
Sighing, Jim stared blankly at his empty desk and the slowly counting clock. Giving into the tedium he lay his head on the table, lifted his head up, drummed his fingers against the table, took his shoes off, put his shoes on, crossed his legs, uncrossed his legs, crossed them again and glared at the seemingly broken clock whose hands just didn’t appear to be moving. 10:53 and 35 seconds 10:53 and 36 seconds 10:53 and 37 seconds 10:53 and 38 seconds.
Thrusting his hands into his hair, he tugged sharply on the captured strands. Seriously, this was what he was reduced to? Counting seconds on a clock to while away moments of his time? Jesus, soon he’d want to bang his head against the nearest hard object to use up his time (concussions were good for that).
Actually...Jim eyed his desk speculatively before shaking his head decisively. The brief respite from hours of boredom a concussion might bring was not worth being at the mercy of Bones and his hypospray happy personality, or maybe worse, any of the medical personnel Bones had been training to torture patients.
The way he saw it, he basically had 3 options available to him.
1 - Do nothing, maintain the boring status quo and hope things improved on their own.
2 - Literally die of boredom.
3 - Disobey Starfleet regulations (and annoy Spock) and secretly explore the workings of each of the ship’s divisions.
With options like those, the decision practically made itself. His mental and physical health was practically demanding he disobey Spock and discover the nitty gritty workings of each department on the Enterprise. Jim felt his lips stretch wide around an uncontrollable grin.
Time to go and play in other people's playgrounds.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
So, his foray into discovering how the Enterprise’s worker bees live lasts 4 days.
Alright, maybe it was technically a lot less than that. To keep off Spock’s radar for people breaking regulations he’d only been able to snatch a few hours here and there. Forty minutes in the kitchens, an hour and twenty minutes with the custodial staff, five hours in engineering (Scotty really was his favourite, not only keeping an illegal still that Jim didn’t officially know about, but also vowing not to rat him out to Spock), and 2 hours in the Botany labs (Sulu was his second favourite, he’d demonstrated how to handle the dangerous man-eating plants, but had kicked him out when he started to get sniffily because of the pollen).
He didn’t even try to go a play in Bones’ domain. That would only have ended in a lot of pain for Jim.
However, it had clearly been a mistake to try and play in communications. Uhura, the rat, had obviously tattled on him to Spock.
Jim hmphed and slumped deeper into his couch.
“Captain, are you listening to me?” Spock interrupted his wandering thoughts.
Jim waved his hands negligently. “Yep, sure. Not allowed to play in other people’s sandboxes and a life sentenced to tedium, got ya.”
He could practically hear the straightening of Spock’s spine, even as he saw the shoulders go back and the muscles in his jaws flex. “Excuse me, Captain. I do not remember mentioning any sandboxes, nor a life sentence.”
Groaning, he slowly tipped sideways on the couch. “Geez Spock, fine. According to regulations I’m not allowed to ascertain the functioning of any section of the Enterprise except during scheduled status checks, nor am I allowed to join in or any of the crew’s duties even if only for one duty shift, and I can’t touch their equipment. Except in the case of emergencies, which apparently being bored to death does not constitute. Basically I’m not allowed to do anything. That about sum it up, Commander?”
“While this is essentially true,” Spock pauses, actually looking hesitant about going on with whatever he was about to say, “there is scope in your directive to ensure the crew is sufficiently prepared for missions which would allow for you to satisfactorily utilise your time.”
Well that sounded like a bundle of fun, but at this point he’d take anything to relieve the boredom. “Rightio, hit me.” This made Spock shift uncomfortably, his hands twitching at his sides, and Jim continues hastily before Spock took his words literally. “Explain please.”
Spock settles into his lecturer pose, hands clasped behind his back. “As part of your duties as Captain, you are expected to prepare and maintain crew readiness for situations that may arise during the course of our missions. While it is not feasible to train the crew to respond to infinite variables that may be encountered, a sound basis for their response to a variety of scenarios should be instilled as mandated by the Captain’s duty to ensure crew preparedness at all times.”
Jim sits up forcing himself to frown, as though trying to physically hold down the bubble of excitement beginning to grow in his gut, not willing to be disappointed if Spock’s lecture doesn’t go where he thinks it is.
“To fulfil your duty you are encouraged to utilise appropriate measures to ensure satisfactory crew response. In light of this, performance assessments of simulated situations are the method favoured by Starfleet’s administration.”
At Spock’s final pronouncement, he can’t help it. He laughs long and hard, ignoring his First Officer’s air of growing bewilderment which he would never admit even existed. Spock has just handed him the keys to safe, the liquor cabinet, as well as given him the cookie jar as a bonus.
“Soooo,” He drew out the word with evil delight, “you’re saying I can fuck with the entire crew’s heads and it’s part of my job description?”
Spock’s posture stiffens, giving away his annoyance, even as his face remains clear of emotion. “If, by your colourful language, you mean you are expected to creatively define your crew’s reality to assess their performance, then yes, that is what I am saying.”
Jim aims a friendly slap at Spock’s shoulder. “See, I knew you understood Earth idioms better than you generally let on. Mind fuckery it shall be.”
“Evaluating crew performance in simulated situations, Captain.” There is blatant disapproval in Spock’s tone of voice.
Now certain of his understanding of the situation Jim is unable to help himself, rubbing his hands together to express the almost uncontainable glee which is bubbling out. “Blah, blah, blah. Mess with their heads for the sake of crew performance. This is going to be awesome.”
From the slight downwards curl of Spock’s mouth and infinitesimal slumping of his shoulders, Jim could tell that he was already regretting even mentioning the possibility.
Jim didn’t care. As long as he didn’t interfere too early Jim was certain he’d demonstrate to Spock how amazing his ideas were (ignoring Bones opinion on the matter) at a later date. For now, Jim had some planning to do.
X---------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
He started with the tried and true StarFleet simulations. Apparently there was a whole manual full of them that you were supposed to run through, which Spock had been sure to emphasise the importance of.
Reading through the thing, he couldn’t help but to add his own comments in the margin.
What to do if the artificial gravity fails. Float. Ha ha!)
What to do if there’s an explosion in engineering. (Call for Bones and hope it wasn’t anywhere Scotty’s still.)
What to do if the senior officers are incapacitated and the ship comes under attack (They had better run. If they dare scratch the Enterprise there will be consequences.)
What to do if there’s an outbreak of a deadly infectious disease in the sickbay. (Initiate emergency sickbay lockdown protocols and listen to Bones swear over the comm.)
Or if there was an outbreak not in the sickbay. (Initiate makeshift area lockdown and listen to Bones swear over the comm.)
What to do if your main engines are taken offline and you’re caught in a planet’s gravity well. (DIE! Or try to restart the engines until you do.)
What to do if the landing party is captured. (Err...rescue them.)
Or if the landing party is killed. (Recover the bodies and bring a world of hurt down on those responsible.)
Once he has finished flipping through the book he takes a good long hour to just think about what he’s read. It covers most of the situations known to have had disastrous consequences for Starfleet ships in the past. There are a few that can be carried out fairly easily with a few support staff amongst the crewmen being assessed to carry out the ruse.
Ideally he needs some decent actors, but since they’re in short supply he’ll make do with security officers. At least their presence won’t be questioned since they’re meant to be stationed throughout the ship anyway.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
Being a responsible Captain means that he can’t just start springing whacked out situations disguised as performance assessments on the crew. Instead he has to warn the crew that they need to be ready for surprises. The absurdity of this doesn’t escape him.
So his first alpha shift after his conversation with Spock, he manages to constrain himself to merely bounce onto the Bridge to take his place in his chair (his chair) rather than the mad dash of elation he is initially tempted into. It is difficult to wait a full 30 minutes into the start of the shift to make the announcement and involves much discreet fidgeting.
“Attention crew of the Enterprise, this is your Captain,” That never got old. “It has been brought to my attention that I have been remiss in fulfilling my duty to prepare for future missions that might not be as sedate as our current mission. To that end, you are to be prepared for any and every situation and act accordingly should they arise. Be aware and be prepared people. That is all. Kirk out.”
The officers on the Bridge decide to stare at Jim in bemusement, so he tries aiming a disarming grin their way. He is not able to resist returning a little aggravation to Uhura for ratting him out to Spock, even if his new source of distraction is potentially triple the fun, and aims a particular winsome smile in her direction. “Some enterprising communications officer felt it necessary to inform Commander Spock that the Captain’s presence in their department was disruptive. So instead he suggested I run a variety of emergency response protocol assessments at a time and place to be announced to participants after the simulation has ended.” He pauses to let the full horror of the situation sink in. “Won’t that be fun for everyone.”
Leaving them with that thought he hands the conn to Spock and heads into his ready room to spend some personal time with his paperwork. The pile of pads waiting for him is barely worth an hour’s work, with it primarily being what-happened-while-you-were-sleeping reports (mostly nothing, stars were mapped, nobody died).
He is in there less than 15 minutes before he is joined by an angrily huffing Bones who launches into a diatribe before Jim can even think to speak.
“Damnit Jim, what fool thing have you got planned now?”
Jim smiles mildly. “Why hello there Bones. How nice to see you this fine alpha shift.”
“Now, don’t give me that” Bones waves his finger menacingly in Jim’s direction. “You’re planning performance assessments, why wasn’t I told immediately? I need to be prepared for all the stupid injuries that will result from these simulations of yours.”
Dramatically clutching at his chest he says, “You wound me Bones. No plan of mine ever ends with injuries.”
“Pull the other one Kid.” Bones says gruffly, adopting an impressively menacing stance. “Now talk!”
Because he can’t think of a better reason not to he does, explaining his in progress plans to entertain himself with emergency simulations to assess crew performance. He may sound a little too excited about some of the ideas he has to catch his crew by surprise, but he’s only human. Bones should understand his need for distraction.
However, Bones is looking anything but impressed by his plans, shaking his head with the beginning of annoyance.
“I swear I don’t know what Starfleet was thinking leaving an overgrown man-child like you in charge of their flagship.”
Jim flutters his lashes and nods mock seriously. “It’s because I’m pretty.”
For a second it looks as though Bones will cuff him around the ears as he did so many times before while they were at the academy, but that is just not done to star ship captains and he manages to resist the urge.
“Jim, you and this silly plan of yours is going to drive your crew to collapse. I’m going to have a sickbay full of people driven there by stress. Not only are you going to make them worry about what freakish horror is waiting for them out in space, but also whether you’re going to blow thing up in their face for your entertainment, oh sorry, I mean evaluations.”
He sits up and settles into his very serious captain pose, because despite the fact that he sees a huge potential for entertainment in the simulations, he understands how important they could be to the future survival of his crew.
So he explains it that way to Bones. “OK, I know I may be making light of them, but I am not doing this solely for its entertainment value. It could be critical at some later time for the crew to be able to respond efficiently and appropriately in the dangerous circumstances they may find themselves. Since we currently have some time where we aren’t likely to come under threat as we map stars, we should take the opportunity to lay a foundation for how they will react now.”
Given that Bones has known Jim as long as he has he should be able to read the sincerity in the statement as well as the bullshit he calls at other times. After a long hard glare Bones relents.
“Alright Kid, heavens knows it’s your show, but I want to observe these assessments you’ve got planned. Just in case. And I reserve the right to pull the plug if it’s inducing too much stress amongst the crew.”
“I can agree to that. Besides it will be good to have a doctor nearby in case of any stray injuries.”
The rise of Bones eyebrow is sardonic. “I thought injuries didn’t happen in any of your plans.”
Jim merely smirks.
And if Bones thinks he’s going to be exempt from these assessments he has another thing coming, but Jim’s willing to let him discover that surprise later.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
The first situation is easy to carry out. Injured crew member with no medical personnel nearby. It should be simple for the unknowing crew to respond appropriately.
All he has to do is send in his puppets and he can watch the show via the security footage with a bag of popcorn, Bones annoyed muttering and Spock’s silent presence for company.
Ensign Furiko of engineering, usually of security, accompanies a team of engineers to check on a report of ventilation error occurring in cargo bay 2. The group have been in there 10 minutes when there is a sudden burst of gas released from one of the pipes they are working on and Ensign Furiko drops to the deck convulsing.
It takes 28 seconds for the rest of the group to react. Ensign Thewl is the quickest, moving to check over Furiko and is soon joined by Lieutenant Olgart who proceeds to yell into their comm for medical. Both breathe in the gas being released from the pipe.
In the meantime Ensign Thompson and Security Officer Jacobs set about isolating the pipe from the system and shutting the gas off. The remaining Ensign and Security Officer mill about the area, managing to get in the way when the medical personnel do rush onto the scene.
Ensign Furiko is, of course, fine; the state of the crew response to an emergency, not so much.
Jim turns and smiles weakly at Bones and Spock.”Well, aren’t we glad this was only a drill?”
After the situation is wrapped up and the scenario explained to the crew involved, they provide feedback on each crewmembers performance.
(28 seconds to react to a fellow crew member convulsing on the floor is 27 seconds too long to stand around surprised.
There’s no point in helping your team member if you’re going to end up needing help as well.
Standing around and not getting in the way when other people have control of the situation is fine. Getting in the way of medical personnel, however, is a big no no.)
It’s only constructive criticism at this point, but the group involved look practically devastated by their failure and so Jim dismisses them with an admonishment to seriously learn from the experience.
When word gets around of the results of the first review there is a sudden increase in the number of people accessing the files for emergency first aid on the ship’s mainframe. Some few brave souls even stop by sickbay for a refresher course from some of the less intimidating nurses.
It’s not, Jim decides, a bad outcome for the first go.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
From there Jim works to spread the joy amongst the entire crew. It’s not an everyday event, but makes sure to steadily work through the Starfleet scenarios.
It even appears to grow on the crew if the ranking list of things like most times dying (Ensign James Gilchrist with a standing count of 23) and most dramatic death scene (Ensign Kirga Merok is currently winning after oozing fluid from all her external orifices in a striking portrayal of the effects of unknown virus X) that has appeared in the rec rooms is any indication.
Bones was not at all amused when he found out he was participating in the performance evaluations. There had been a lot of cursing and swearing, and even though Jim had placated him with a bottle of good whiskey he was dreading his next regular medical check up. Even if he did hate the entire thing with the hatred of a thousand fiery suns he wasn’t getting out of it, and so put up with it with extremely bad grace and the occasional death threat directed at Jim.
Jim is actually surprised at how serious he is about the performance assessments. While it had mostly started as entertainment, somewhere along the way he remembered that he was basically training his crew how to survive.
And that is something he is determined to ensure.
Over time he increases the complexity and difficulty of the scenarios crew are faced with, multiple variables determining a course of action for the participants.
These work as a build up to the simulations he programs into the holodeck. Since the deck has only basic functions for depicting the environment he has to tweak and nudge the programming to be suitable to imitate possible away mission worlds or extensive ship damage.
Due to the nature of getting people into the holodeck room, the performance assessments unfortunately lose their edge of surprise, but the increased number of variables and situations he can assess more than makes up for it.
Not to be left out, both Spock and he had had their go running through simulations that the other had programmed.
Strangely enough Jim wasn’t surprised to find himself in command of a starship on a rescue mission for a ship stranded on the edge of the neutral zone. He also didn’t think Spock was surprised to be in command of a starship where a ridiculous number of Klingon warbirds made an appearance.
The crew even seemed to be in on the joke.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
Overall Spock finds himself unsure what to believe about Kirk’s character.
His initial impression of the man was formed primarily from second hand opinions and their conflict over the Kobayashi Maru. Even his actions during the confrontation with Nero did not make Spock Believe Kirk was a capable Captain.
Having observed Kirk during his first few months of his official Captaincy of the Enterprise Spock was inclined to think Kirk was a child playing at being captain. The Enterprise had managed to complete a number of missions successfully, but this was largely in spite of Kirk’s role of Captain. He had not demonstrated any particular aptitude for leadership of a vessel during peacetime. The only exception to this seemed to be the unusual affinity Kirk had developed for paperwork. As Captain he had gone as far as to take over some of the paperwork that was regularly delegated to the First Officer.
However, Kirk’s dedication to the planning and administration of performance evaluations had managed to surprise Spock. With the completion of the previous stellar cartography mission and receiving orders for an interesting diplomatic mission, Spock admits he had expected Kirk to lose interest in the performance evaluations. Yet this has failed to occur.
While Kirk has reduced the regularity of the evaluations as he concentrates on the critical details of the cultures they will be expected to negotiate with, as is logical, the Captain continues to improve and supervise the simulations.
Kirk’s dedication to improving the crew’s skills is obvious in his planning of the simulations. The scenarios are clearly designed to provide the crew with the tools for their survival should dire circumstances require them.
At the same time Kirk still seemed to treat Starfleet and all it stood for as an ongoing practical joke. His demeanour was frequently crass and immature.
Spock was unsure how to classify the Captain.
It was perhaps unfortunate that recent distance in his association with Nyota prevented him from seeking her out for advice. His initial decision to travel to the new Vulcan colony rather than remain in Starfleet had left a strain in their relationship which had resulted in the majority of their present interactions being related solely to ship’s business. Her absence from his off duty hours was regrettable, particularly at times like this where he believed she could offer him valuable insight, especially into Kirk who she had previously mentioned seemed to shadow her throughout their years at the Academy.
As things stood, it appeared he required further instances of data to be able to reach an acceptable conclusion about the Captain.
With approximately another 4 years, 6 months, 19 days, 7 hours and 15 minutes remaining of their assignment aboard the Enterprise Spock believed he had sufficient time to reach the appropriate assessment of Kirk.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
As they had settled into their roles and duties as Captain and First Officer, particularly since Spock had provided Jim with hours of distraction in the form of performance reviews (read: torturing the crew in the name of training), the interactions between Spock and him had become much friendlier. In any case, Jim felt less like Spock was speaking down to a very well trained monkey. Their relationship had even developed to the point where Spock felt comfortable enough to join Jim in his ready room while they completed all the menial paperwork and other fun things that went with being the Enterprise’s commanding officers. (He may even eventually convince Spock that calling him Jim again someday would not actually kill Spock).
Jim enjoys Spock working nearby as it presents an opportunity to badger him about things that have been on his mind without the rest of the crew as an audience.
Like now, with another stellar cartography mission on their plates, Jim thinks it’s the perfect opportunity to convince Spock about an idea he’s been mulling over for a while.
“Soooo Spock,” Jim starts, gently wheedling.
Unfortunately Spock is already shaking his head.
“Come on Spock,” Jim pleads, “You haven’t even heard what I was going to say.”
“From previous experience you only use that particular tone of voice any time you wish to incite me to participate in illogical proceedings. I was trying to reduce the amount of time that must be wasted in the conversation before I logically rejected partaking in any such plans” Spock taps firmly at his PADD as though to indicate he had finished with the discussion.
Jim shrugs to himself, it was true, but that didn’t mean he was giving up the argument. He was willing to talk himself hoarse to get his point across to Spock.
“Look, I’ve run through all the prescribed scenarios suggested in the manual, and I am fairly certain at this point that if any situations similar to the standard scenarios occur, the crew will be able to respond quickly and decisively and in the best manner they can under the circumstances. However, it’s the things Starfleet hasn’t even thought of that will trip them up.” He pauses to marshal his thoughts and notes that the fingers tapping on Spock’s PADD have slowed and gentled, suggesting that what Jim is saying is at least being heard.
“We’ve got the best and brightest on board Spock and eventually Starfleet command is going to want to take the training wheels off and put those resources to use. We’re a deep space exploration ship and the Federation requires allies to deter the Klingons and Romulans rumbling impatiently on their side of the neutral zone. Who knows what we’ll encounter once we’re let off the leash? It could be anything from government intrigue to sentient planets. And, yes, I realise we can’t prepare them for every possibility we may encounter, but we can lay the basis for the right frame of thought and quick response.”
Eyebrow entirely lost into his hairline Spock puts his PADD down entirely. “Your argument is surprisingly logical Captain, and framed remarkably coherently.”
“Well, it had to happen sometime.” Probably rubbed off on him due to the amount of time he spends in Spock’s presence. “Now, what I propose is to add completely unexpected variables to the simulations to keep the crew on their toes. What do you say?”
He is subjected to a deeply scrutinising look from his First Officer which he tries to withstand by projecting determination and sincerity. It must work on some level (or he’d misread the look entirely) because with a decisive press of his thumb Spock pulls up a blank screen ready for notes.
“What did you have in mind?”
Before Spock can change his mind, unlikely as that may be, Jim reaches for his own PADD pulling up the plans he had jotted down earlier.
It takes some discussion for them to settle on prospective new variables and situations to include in the performance evaluations. Mostly it involves Jim arguing Spock off his perch of logic.
(“A revolution of animated kitchen utensils.” Spock blankly parrots.
“What?” Jim asks defensively. “It could happen.”
“No.”
“Giant killer robots, Captain?” Spock queries. “That is highly improbable.”
Jim senses an opportunity. “But it could be possible that there is a technologically advanced society out there who sees the logic in a large mechanical army compared to weak and fallible people.”
“It is not entirely unfeasible. “ Spock concedes. “However, the likelihood that we will encounter such beings is 347,789,600 to 1, Captain.”
“That is not a no.”
“An ion storm gives the Enterprise sentience and the ship decides it dislikes the crew.” Jim tries
Spock’s voice is hard and flat. “If that were the case, then no response the crew made would affect the outcome. The ship need only vent the atmosphere and the entire crew would be dead within minutes.”
“So that’s a no?”
“That is, indeed, a no.”
“Tiny people.” Jim exclaims. “Our crew should be able to appropriately interact with beings 1/100th of our size."
Spock very obviously does not sigh. Jim takes it as a yes.)
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
When he first introduces his WTHTSNH (What The Hell This Should Never Happen) scenarios into the mix of standard simulations the crew is very obviously very unhappy. Spock and he had worked very hard to make the realistic and achievable, but only 1 of 7 groups’ results are passable. As each group exits there is a loud exclamation questioning how they’re supposed to prepare for something like that, as well as quiet muttering about excessive training and an abuse of power.
Disappointment weighs heavily on Jim’s shoulders for the next few days. Giving up on the new scenarios, however, is out of the question.
Maybe Jim should throw his hat into the ring and demonstrate how to survive when the universe was throwing bad shit at you from all angles.
But he will make his crew able to satisfactorily pass all the simulations.
His crew is going to survive anything from dinosaurs to mutant bread mould should they have to. Jim will show them where there’s a will there’s a way and Spock will help him teach them just how to strategise their survival.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
As part of his job as First Officer, Spock was expected to act as a liaison between the captain and the crew if problems arose. However, in the time since departing Earth space dock it appeared that the crew had appointed Lieutenant Uhura as a liaison between the crew and himself. Of the 5 problems that had been brought to his attention, like that of Ensign Strauss and Ensign H’tviak where the latter was culturally required to burn a form of incense prior to sleep which the former was to quote “made physically sick by”, it was Uhura who had approached him each time.
Therefore Uhura’s desire for a meeting a few days after the Captain introduces the new scenarios to the crew performance evaluations is not completely unexpected. She, like most of the crew, had recently run through one of the new scenarios and unsatisfactorily completed the simulation. Her group had failed to stop an ecological disaster when an asteroid was on a collision course with a colonised planet, persisting with negotiation long after another alternative should have been pursued.
“Commander Spock,” her voice fairly trembles with outrage, “the crew would like to lodge a complaint against the new simulations the Captain has introduced. They are unnecessary and demoralising the crew. While I could see their purpose in an academic setting, the logistics of failure imbued in the simulations on an active service starship is completely inappropriate.”
“Lieutenant Uhura, while the simulations may seem difficult to approach satisfactorily currently, it is expected that the crew will improve over time. At this time I see no logical reason to alter the current simulation configuration. Captain Kirk and I agreed on this course of action and the argument for their inclusion still remains relevant.”
“You can’t seriously expect the crew to jump through the ridiculous hoops for Kirk’s...”
“Captain Kirk, Lieutenant.” Spock interrupts to correct.
“...Captain Kirk’s amusement!” She finishes loudly.
“That is a serious insinuation to make Lieutenant and I can report that the new scenarios have not been implemented for the purpose of the Captain’s ‘amusement’. I am fully cognizant of the reason for the variables that have been introduced and wholly support the Captain’s decision in this matter.”
“Not entertainment, Spock?” Uhura asks angrily. “He’s got engineers playing at being communications officers.”
“If you see it that way then you have failed to ascertain the purpose of the simulations. While all the scenarios have the same base parameters, each is programmed with variables for the expectation of the participating crew’s capabilities.” He explains calmly.
“You can’t expect engineers and security officers to negotiate cessation of hostilities?”
Remembering the Captain’s entirely logical arguments, of the infinite possibilities they may encounter in the future, as well as his strong desire to impart all the tools possible to help ensure the crew’s survival, makes him answer her with another question.
“And what, Lieutenant Uhura, if one day that is precisely what is required? He gives her a moment to think on that before the time necessitates his presence elsewhere. “Please excuse me, Lieutenant. There is an experiment in that lab which requires my attention.”
In the next couple of days the groups taking part in the simulations seem to realise that although there are new situations and variables in the performance evaluations, their experience in the earlier simulations was translatable to the new ones, and that satisfactory performance was not necessarily about defeating the scenario. With this realisation the number of groups which manage to complete the simulation satisfactorily increases significantly and the crew appear to be starting to comprehend the purpose of the new simulations, so Spock believes he has heard the last of the matter raised brought to his attention by Uhura. Therefore it is entirely unexpected to have Admiral Pike comm the bridge wanting an explanation for the complaints Starfleet had received about Kirk abusing his authority.
Having heard similar accusations all too recently, Spock immediately turns to look at Uhura, but she looks as surprised as the rest of the Bridge crew.
“Abuse, sir?” Kirk asks carefully.
“Demoralising and unnecessary training for the Captain’s amusement, does that ring any bells for you Kirk?” Pike all but growls at the Captain.
Spock watches Kirk’s spine stiffen as he returns the Admiral’s gaze.
“While the scenarios I have chosen to simulate to assess the crew’s performance are unorthodox Admiral, I assure you they are about training the crew to react under highly unusual circumstances should it be required.” Sincerity radiates from Kirk’s words, and he leans forward in his chair to emphasise his point to the Admiral. “It is not about entertainment, sir, but survival.”
Pike glares through the screen at the Captain. “Then what is this I hear about giant robots and,” Pike shuffles through the papers in front of him, “dinosaurs? For god’s sake Kirk!”
Rising, Spock steps into place behind the Captain’s chair, interrupting the conversation before Kirk can reply.
“Sir. Such accusations were recently brought to my attention and I thought I had addressed the crew’s concerns sufficiently.”
Gaze shifting off Kirk, Pike studies Spock. “Alright Mr. Spock, tell me what you think of these simulations that Captain Kirk has introduced.”
Spock stares straight ahead and carefully does not look at Kirk as he answers. “I admit I was initially dubious when the Captain first introduced the idea Admiral. However, after discussing the matter I believed that the Captain made a valuable point when he observed the need for the crew to be able to respond to an infinite number of variables in the future. As Captain Kirk said, they are unorthodox, but their premise is entirely logical.”
The admiral looks between Spock and the Captain slowly, his eyebrows raised high in surprise before he laughs, head thrown back against his chair.
Spock is uncertain what has caused the hilarity, but suspects it may be related to a sense of the ironic.
“Alright Kirk, if Commander Spock is willing to testify to the logic of the simulations you’re running then they can’t be as harebrained as they seem from the description Starfleet has been getting. I will keep Starfleet command off your back about this, but don’t expect Starfleet to actually approve of any of your unorthodox simulations. You’re on your own there boys.”
Kirk shrugs carelessly as though he had not been expecting any differently.
“Oh, and Kirk, at least try to stay out of trouble for the next month will you? I’m going on vacation and would prefer not to be disturbed halfway through because the Admiralty wants someone to ride herd on you.”
Kirk throws out a leisurely salute and chuffs out a quiet laugh as Pike cuts the connection, returning the view screen to its starry vista.
Kicking his feet out carelessly and leaning back in his chair, Kirk addresses the Bridge staff casually. “Well, there you go kids, official validation without the trouble of anything being officially approved. Ain’t bureaucracy grand?”
The Bridge crew are silent, but a smile light on each of their faces as they nod and return their attention to their duty stations.
Spock gives the Captain his own quietly respectful nod before he returns to his duty station.
He has, Spock realises, just positioned himself firmly at Kirk’s side.
Although he had meditated on his impression of the Captain he had not realised he had come to any firm conclusions. However, it appears as though his subconscious was able to reach a decision he was not ware he had made.
The Captain is immature and prone to over exuberance, but he is dedicated and determined, and unwavering in his efforts to ensure the crew’s survival.
When he had decided not to resign from Starfleet after his older counterpart had persuaded him of the logic in following the path he desired rather than the one expected of him, he had believed James Tiberius Kirk would be his ship mate. He had not expected to find much worth in the man, even after they had managed to work together to stop Earth’s destruction.
He was, for once, quite glad to be wrong.
Kirk and the well trained crew he was working to create would be worth Spock’s decision to stay in Starfleet.
Together they would guide the crew and teach them to the best of their ability so that the crew would have the chance to survive the horrible and the merely strange that the universe would throw at them.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
3 Years Later
Screams bouncing among buildings seem to resonate deep into the human mind, even when you knew they were faked.
Crouching lower, Jim took a second to poke his head around the corner and ascertain their enemies’ position.
Flipping his communicator open, he spoke softly into the receiver. “Team 4, ready? Team 5 ready? On my mark?”
There was a few seconds of silence before two clear but quiet 'Affirmatives’ sounded. Jim gestured with quick, decisive fingers at his own accompanying teams. Team 1 go on the mark, Team 2 circle for best vantage point and Team 3 ready and waiting for support.
Receiving watchful nods from each of the team leaders, he took a moment to close his eyes and just breathe before he said distinctly into his communicator “Mark!”
No sooner had he finished saying it and his teams were on the move. Five teams converging on their targets conducting offensive manoeuvres and Jim smack, bang in the middle of it. Orchestrating, in fact, what was barely controlled chaos.
The flash of phaser fire, the crash and rumble of buildings being destroyed, his crew’s rallying shouts...
And over all of it, the screaming echoes amongst the buildings.
X----------------------X------------------------X----------------------X---------------------X
Establishing peace was such a nice thing to be a part of, Jim thought.
Jogging over and around the piles of debris their assault and their attacker’s retaliations had created, he was careful to avoid inuring himself. It would be ridiculous for him to have made it through the battle unscathed only to break his ankle on a loose rock.
Moving past one of the giant robots that had been harassing the Ferinthelli city for the last five years, legs destroyed and trailing wires from its central circuitry, he felt a fierce well of pride push at his lungs in the face of this evidence of the Enterprise crew’s proficiency. Unable to contain himself, he aimed friendly shoulder slaps at three passing security officers and a cheery thumbs-up at a scurrying Ensign.
The current tally:
Jim Kirk and the Enterprise: 1
Giant Killer Robots: 0
All the wounded had been transported up to the Enterprise to receive treatment in sickbay, the ground crew remaining were on clean up duty.
Stopping in approximately the centre of what had been their battlefield, the main road through the Ferinthelli capital city surrounded by some of the only sturdy rock buildings with roof access enabling the Enterprise’s high ground advantage and victory over the machines. He cups his hands around his mouth so his shout carries through the cityscape and is heard by all the Enterprise crew in the area. “As Captain of the Enterprise I would like to thank and congratulate all crewmembers who had a hand in our victory today. While we are primarily a peace keeping force it is good to know that I have a crew that can stomp hostile forces into the ground if needed.” There will be formal speeches and commendations later. For now he just wants the crew to know how proud he is of their achievements today.
After a moment he impulsively tags on the end, “And if someone can quiet the damn screaming my ears would be most appreciative.”
It sends a ripple of laughter through the crew and an Ensign an intersection away from Jim’s position shouts a hearty, “Aye aye, Captain” and hurries away to turn the recordings off.
Soon the Ferinthelli will venture out of their bunkers, once they realise the sounds of destruction have stopped. Until then it was just the crew of the Enterprise treating victory over giant killer robots as an everyday occurrence.
Looking over his busy crew, he catches sight of Spock busily extracting the secrets of the giant robots from one of the few that are still upright and mostly intact.
Taking a running start, Jim bounds up the robot’s side and joins Spock on the platform, flopping down to sit on the very edge, legs swinging idly back and forth. Spock pauses in his tinkering to pin Jim with a questioning glance.
“I just realised I hadn’t received an update from my First Officer in a while so I dropped by to say hi. I don’t suppose you’ve discovered anything interesting since we last spoke?”
Spock’s eyebrow rose sharply to just below his hairline and he replied almost archly. “I have made a number of interesting discoveries since we last spoke. However, as they are in the realm of scientific findings I suspect they are of no particular interest to you at this juncture.”
“Nah, not at the moment.”Jim shook his head. “I’ll just read the reports later, although I wouldn’t mind having a tinker round in the guts of these monstrosities before we heave to. For that matter I think Scotty would like to get his hands on them at some point. I’m actually surprised he isn’t down here yet.”
“Commander Scott did indeed request permission to beam down earlier. However, I took the liberty of ordering he stay aboard the Enterprise until either you or myself were able to return to the ship on the slight chance that there would be further attacks launched on the Ferinthelli.” Spock said stiffly.
Jim laughed. “So it wasn’t just that you wanted to get at all the interesting scientific discoveries first?” His body was practically vibrating with the force of his glee at being able to tease Spock.
Spock’s shoulders drew back in affront and his eyebrow shot down out of his hairline. “I assure you that my considerations for issuing that order were...”
Jim cut him off with a smile. “I know Spock. You wouldn’t ever monopolise the toys and keep them away from the other kids. You’re all about the sharing.”
Eyeing him suspiciously as he ascertained the sincerity of Jim’s flippant words, Spock eventually nodded and returned to checking the readout on the PADD he had hooked up to the machines internal computer.
Surveying the scene of destruction he said quietly, “We did good today Spock. Twelve wounded and no fatalities amongst the Enterprise’s crew or the Ferinthelli. And we stopped 20 giant robotic combatants. It feels like a good day to be Captain.”
Lasting peace would still need to be brokered between the Ferinthelli and the Nurengum, owners of the robots. However, Spock had concluded earlier that all the robots were much older than the initial contact between the two peoples and the Enterprise may have disabled their entire robot army. It would be difficult, but with their decisive victory under his belt Jim was feeling optimistic.
“It was fortunate that your unorthodox approach to the training and preparedness of the Enterprise’s crew allowed us to be prepared for such a situation.”
“Why, Commander Spock, was that a compliment?” He grins brightly at the other man.
Spock inclined his head gracefully. “You may take it as such.”
“Aww shucks, you’ll make a girl blush.” He says playfully coquettish.
Spock, of course, does not respond to his comment, but Jim’s good mood can’t be contained and he lets it spill over into good natured teasing of Spock.
“So Commander Spock, tell me the probability of running into giant killing robots again?” He asks lightly.
“As you likely remember with perfect accuracy, the chance was calculated to be 347,789,600 to 1. However, in the face of our current circumstances, it would seem that those numbers would need to be revised.” Spock didn’t even pause in his work.
Jim leant back until Spock was in reach and proceeded to thump his foot in mock outrage. “Ah ah, no take-backs.”
“It is not, as you say, a take-back if I must revise my calculations due to information I was not aware of when you previously questioned the existence of circumstance where we would be liable to be confronted with giant killer robots.” Spoke said as dryly as ever
“Pfft.” Jim waved his hand dismissively and sing-songed, “Take-back~”
Spock eyed him carefully for a moment before returning to his examination of the robot, and responding with what passed for Spock’s version of sarcasm. “Whatever you say, Captain.”
Smirking, he shook his head at Spock’s response. They’d corrupt Spock with their Earth-ways eventually. For now Jim would have to make do with basking in their armed victory.
At a sudden odd thought, he chuckles loudly, drawing Spock’s attention once more.
“You think Starfleet will approve the giant killer robot simulations now Spock?”
The sardonic lift of Spock’s eyebrow is answer enough, but Jim also spots a minute quirking of Spock’s lips into what could practically be called a smile, sharing the joke with Jim.
Somehow, Jim felt he may just have won twice today.
The Enterprise hadn’t managed to discover any civilisations comprised of tiny people, zombie making viruses nor poisonous gas cloud creatures yet.
Jim smiled out at his crew, perched atop the casing of a vanquished giant killer robot.
There was still plenty of time to find them.
Art by steammmpunk
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