And Happy Kissing…As Promised
The Many Kisses of Caleb and Elizabeth,
So this is a long overdue discussion of the most interesting part of Caleb and Elizabeth's wedding: the many and varied kisses they so freely demonstrated to the crowd of gawking onlookers. If someone would have given us a video of each of these, we could make them the shining examples in the Encyclopedia under Kissing. :-) [Note to Elizabeth: Read Fast, and alert me quickly if this needs to be edited or relocated. ;-)]
THe first kiss was the Trinity KIss. Their three step kiss that they gave to us at the actual wedding ceremony. It almost looked like Caleb was going to give her a light peck, and then she retaliated, and finally, then ended with some form of her leaping into the air and seemingly melting into him in one, instant motion. :-P
Now, after that, I can't begin to count the varieties of smooching demonstrated at the reception, but I shall at least try to detail some of the more…shocking.
We have the Cheek slide, which Caleb so delicately (ROFL) gave Elizabeth. Think a big, long, wet tongue going all the way up the side of your cheek. ;-) Caleb, how was the make-up?
We have the French Kiss, which I don't think comes as much of a surprise to any of you.
We have the butterfly kiss, so sweet and nice, but utterly inappropriate for a wedding where the guests all want to see R rated action. [We're getting there.]
We have the baiser très humide, which is basically like licking your lips first, and then planting a slobbery one out there with gusto.
We have the Fishy Lips, wherein they both sucked in their lips to form vertical fish lips, and then proceeded to nibble at each other like a pair of gold fish.
We have the Cake Kiss, of course, who could do without that?
We have the Lipstick Leftovers Kiss, where Caleb's lips take on a whole new shade of color, and maybe a different shape too.
We have the T-Rex Chomp, which is sort of like the scene in Star Wars where Han Solo drives his Millennium Falcon out of the belly of a snake. :-P
We have the Nose Nippers, which need no further explanation.
We have the classic Rumba Rumble, which is like a sultry latin lip lock (think every dance based romance you’ve ever seen).
And…as if these were not entertaining enough, we have the best scene in the whole reception, which, for sure, jumped us from PG-13 to R rating. Picture, in your mind, if you will, that a few good kisses like those mentioned above have already taken place. The crowd is getting bored and demanding. Glasses are tinkling all over in anticipation as the couple stands once more for to take the stage of seismic romance. Caleb has shown us all that he puts no scruples of formality or taste before the entertainment of the masses. Elizabeth's turn is up? How shall she match her husband's antics? We all wonder but for a short while. Fortunately, that time is just enough to allow Mr. Swetnam to walk up near their table as he passes to do something. What he meant to do, I think even he must have forgotten when much to all our surprise, the newly christened Mrs. Dahl drops her lower jaw, forming a dark abyss of what we must assume is the black hole of love, so great that it consumes all around it, and, releasing the caged animal within, tongue out like a lioness, devours poor, happy Caleb in one sweeping engulfment; I dare say, if the man had any breath left in him at all after that, he's not human. :-P In fact, he's lucky that he survived with his innards still inward.
Now, what makes this even more funny, is how stopped in his tracks Mr. Swetnam was at this moment. He just had this priceless look on his face, and you couldn't tell what he was thinking. My personal guess is that his mind went completely blank and he had no idea how to react. :-P At any rate, once he recovered, he just kind of shook his head and kept on moving, but us guests had already seen MORE than enough. Oh man. Heheh. I hope all the young children closed their eyes for that! Of course, we at our table had the best seat in the house, so we all saw every gory little detail. :-P Hehe, I think we had to kind of sit there laughing in shock for a bit. You can’t top that, so why try?
The End.
So this is a long overdue discussion of the most interesting part of Caleb and Elizabeth's wedding: the many and varied kisses they so freely demonstrated to the crowd of gawking onlookers. If someone would have given us a video of each of these, we could make them the shining examples in the Encyclopedia under Kissing. :-) [Note to Elizabeth: Read Fast, and alert me quickly if this needs to be edited or relocated. ;-)]
THe first kiss was the Trinity KIss. Their three step kiss that they gave to us at the actual wedding ceremony. It almost looked like Caleb was going to give her a light peck, and then she retaliated, and finally, then ended with some form of her leaping into the air and seemingly melting into him in one, instant motion. :-P
Now, after that, I can't begin to count the varieties of smooching demonstrated at the reception, but I shall at least try to detail some of the more…shocking.
We have the Cheek slide, which Caleb so delicately (ROFL) gave Elizabeth. Think a big, long, wet tongue going all the way up the side of your cheek. ;-) Caleb, how was the make-up?
We have the French Kiss, which I don't think comes as much of a surprise to any of you.
We have the butterfly kiss, so sweet and nice, but utterly inappropriate for a wedding where the guests all want to see R rated action. [We're getting there.]
We have the baiser très humide, which is basically like licking your lips first, and then planting a slobbery one out there with gusto.
We have the Fishy Lips, wherein they both sucked in their lips to form vertical fish lips, and then proceeded to nibble at each other like a pair of gold fish.
We have the Cake Kiss, of course, who could do without that?
We have the Lipstick Leftovers Kiss, where Caleb's lips take on a whole new shade of color, and maybe a different shape too.
We have the T-Rex Chomp, which is sort of like the scene in Star Wars where Han Solo drives his Millennium Falcon out of the belly of a snake. :-P
We have the Nose Nippers, which need no further explanation.
We have the classic Rumba Rumble, which is like a sultry latin lip lock (think every dance based romance you’ve ever seen).
And…as if these were not entertaining enough, we have the best scene in the whole reception, which, for sure, jumped us from PG-13 to R rating. Picture, in your mind, if you will, that a few good kisses like those mentioned above have already taken place. The crowd is getting bored and demanding. Glasses are tinkling all over in anticipation as the couple stands once more for to take the stage of seismic romance. Caleb has shown us all that he puts no scruples of formality or taste before the entertainment of the masses. Elizabeth's turn is up? How shall she match her husband's antics? We all wonder but for a short while. Fortunately, that time is just enough to allow Mr. Swetnam to walk up near their table as he passes to do something. What he meant to do, I think even he must have forgotten when much to all our surprise, the newly christened Mrs. Dahl drops her lower jaw, forming a dark abyss of what we must assume is the black hole of love, so great that it consumes all around it, and, releasing the caged animal within, tongue out like a lioness, devours poor, happy Caleb in one sweeping engulfment; I dare say, if the man had any breath left in him at all after that, he's not human. :-P In fact, he's lucky that he survived with his innards still inward.
Now, what makes this even more funny, is how stopped in his tracks Mr. Swetnam was at this moment. He just had this priceless look on his face, and you couldn't tell what he was thinking. My personal guess is that his mind went completely blank and he had no idea how to react. :-P At any rate, once he recovered, he just kind of shook his head and kept on moving, but us guests had already seen MORE than enough. Oh man. Heheh. I hope all the young children closed their eyes for that! Of course, we at our table had the best seat in the house, so we all saw every gory little detail. :-P Hehe, I think we had to kind of sit there laughing in shock for a bit. You can’t top that, so why try?
The End.