(no subject)
In solemn goodbye to the worst of winter, I shall pass this along
60 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats. Chicago people
sunbathe.
50 degrees - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people plant gardens.
40 degrees - Italian cars won't start. Chicago people drive with the windows
down.
32 degrees - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicago people have the last
cookout before it gets cold.
15 degrees - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicago people throw
on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicago people lick the flagpole
and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicago people get out their winter
coats.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies
door to door.
50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicago people get frustrated
when they can't thaw the keg.
60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of
farmers with cold hands.
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Chicago people start saying. . "Cold 'nuff
for ya??"
500 below - Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series
60 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats. Chicago people
sunbathe.
50 degrees - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people plant gardens.
40 degrees - Italian cars won't start. Chicago people drive with the windows
down.
32 degrees - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicago people have the last
cookout before it gets cold.
15 degrees - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicago people throw
on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicago people lick the flagpole
and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicago people get out their winter
coats.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies
door to door.
50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicago people get frustrated
when they can't thaw the keg.
60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of
farmers with cold hands.
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Chicago people start saying. . "Cold 'nuff
for ya??"
500 below - Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series