Smoke & Lightning, Heavy Metal Thunder [43/?]
MASTER POST
Title: Smoke And Lightning, Heavy Metal Thunder (43/?)
Authors: bloody_adorable and eviltwin
Fandoms: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki.
Rating: Adult..ish.
Wordcount: 4,043
Summary: AU. Jared's a classic case of rich kid gone wrong, whose only sense of family comes from his motorbike, the guy he rents a garage from to live in and the precinct cops who know his face better than most already. Jensen's a hard-working student whose family are helping push him towards great things. What happens when their two worlds collide, and will Jared's troublesome nature be too much for Jensen to handle?
Disclaimer: None of the following is true in any way, and no profit is made from this work of fiction.
Please, if you haven't yet, do check out this gorgeous fan manip by bflyw. Yummy!
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Chris dropped Jensen off at home around mid-evening on Monday night. His father’s car wasn’t in the driveway, which he took as a blessing, and when he got inside, the house was still and quiet. He waved goodbye to Chris and shut the door behind him, wondering where everyone was. It was clear his sister was elsewhere, since usually she played music or games or the TV in the evening and he could hear none of those things.
There was movement only a few moments later. A door opening down the hall and he saw his mother step out and look down the corridor at him. Donna looked surprised to see him, which he wasn’t expecting. He’d thought Alan might have warned her, but apparently not. She looked at his bags and then at his face and asked him what was going on. She sounded as upset and confused as he felt at that moment.
“I don’t know, mom,” he answered, honestly. “Jay’s in trouble and he doesn’t want me to help him. I didn’t have a choice.”
She moved as though she was going to hug him, and he took a quick step back to avoid it. He didn’t want any more pity; he was done with it. He just wanted to lock himself in his room and try and work out how the hell this could have happened. At the hurt look on her face, though, he apologised.
“I just can’t deal with this right now. I’m sorry.”
She nodded and let him go, watching him heft the bags he had upstairs.
He stayed in his room all night, not feeling any kind of appetite, and went through every ‘what if?’ that he could think of. What if he’d stayed home and let Chris visit Steve alone? What if Jared had just come with them? What if Jared really had killed Chuck? The not knowing was going to just keep hurting, he knew. He hadn’t been able to get Jared to talk. His father wouldn’t let him be in the room alone with him and he knew that was all he needed. He wanted to have Jared look him in the eyes and tell him he didn’t do it. Jensen was certain that he hadn’t, but the threat in the parking lot, the violent reaction to the way Chuck had treated him - none of it was exactly innocent. The fact that there was still that tiny, niggling doubt about all of this made Jensen hurt inside even more. He didn’t want to think that about Jared, but a part of his mind couldn’t help itself, it seemed.
What if Chuck had done something else? Something unthinkable, that might drive Jared to such an action? Jensen just didn’t know, couldn’t find out, and it was frustrating as hell.
At 1am, Stevie woke with a start on the couch. Jeff wasn’t next to her like he had been a couple of hours ago, when she’d fallen asleep watching Beyond Belief with him. She twisted around and saw him leaning against the doorway of the garage, his back to her. He looked round only when he heard her get up and move through the kitchen to get to him.
“Hey, baby,” he said, smiling as she slipped an arm round his waist. It was a sad smile, though, like he’d been caught grieving.
“He’ll be back before you know it,” Stevie said, her voice soft against his shirt-sleeve. “They both will.”
“Wish I could believe that,” Jeff sighed, moving his hand to cover hers. “Maybe Jay’s right, though, at least about one thing. Maybe Jensen is better off with his parents. They have a nice house, plenty of money-“
“Money isn’t everything and I’m sure that Jensen knows that. That won’t be the reason that he’s gone back.”
“No, I know it ain’t. I know why he left and it wasn’t anything Alan said to him. The boy’s scared. Who can blame him? I’m surprised you’re still here sometimes. After all you’ve had to go through with us.”
Stevie shrugged. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” she told him. “I love my boys.”
“Hey, your boys love you too.” Jeff shifted then, awkwardly leaning on the wall for support, and Stevie moved around him so she could hold his face in her hands and kiss him, slow and sweet.
“I know.”
“I’m worried for him,” Jeff admitted.
“I know,” Stevie said again. “So am I.”
“I mean, he’s been in trouble before. But not like this. It’s like he’s given up. Like he’s just going to let it happen. And I can’t figure out why.”
“Makes you wonder what Alan said to him before anyone else got in there, doesn’t it?”
Jeff grunted in agreement, annoyed by that thought. He felt a sudden urge to go straight to the Ackles house and make the man tell him what was said. If he didn’t know that anything like that would only make Jared’s situation worse, he would have done it in a heartbeat.
“This is wrong,” he muttered, resting his head back against the wall. “Everything about this is wrong.”
There was a knock at his door the following morning, probably to wake him up for school. He was already awake, still awake, since he’d been unable to sleep. He’d heard his sister get back around ten and wondered when his mother had let her start staying out so late on a school night. He wondered what his mother told her to explain Jensen being at home again. He’d heard his father return at eleven, followed by a few minutes of raised voices and then a door slamming.
The knocking at his door grew more insistent then. He ignored it and the door rattled before his mother’s voice called his name. He sighed, got up from the floor, and crossed the room to unlock the door.
“Honey-“
“I’m not going to school today,” he interrupted, his voice scratchy from the insomnia.
She didn’t even flinch. Just told him she’d call the school and let them know. She started to tell him that his father was heading out soon, but he turned away before she could finish.
“I don’t want that asshole anywhere near me,” he said, feeling an angry heat prickle his skin at the very thought.
“This isn’t his fault, Jensen.”
“Don’t give me that, mom. It’s all his fault. Every damn thing.”
His mother didn’t bother arguing with him. She stepped into his room after him, though, and he closed his eyes for a moment, annoyed. He just wanted everyone to leave him be. Why was that so damned hard for them all to understand?
“Did your father tell you anything about what’s going on?”
Jensen hadn’t been expecting that question. He turned again, his eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“I don’t think you understand it very well, that’s all. And I’m not saying for a moment that I think Jared is capable of killing a man, but I guess you can never know what someone can do if they feel they have to. Your father says they found clothes with Chuck’s blood on them in Jared’s room. Your room.”
“Yeah,” Jensen agreed. “In the laundry, where Jay probably put them after the fight with Chuck the other night. Because Jay doesn’t do laundry, not really, so he just dumped them right in there with everything else.”
“He can’t prove that, though, can he?” She sounded sad when she asked, which was only a slight relief.
“No, Mom. I guess he can’t.”
“And they found a gun in the garage.”
Jensen nodded. “A Glock. Jeff’s gun. He has a license for it.”
His mother stared at him. “You knew?”
“I’ve held the damned thing, Mom. You think Dad doesn’t own a gun or two? Maybe he just never told you about them, huh?”
“You know your father’s feelings on guns.”
Scowling, Jensen got onto his bed and sat down cross-legged on the mattress. “He doesn’t have to live in the kind of neighbourhood that Jeff and Jay do. I’m glad he feels safe enough to pretend to take the moral high ground, but that’s not gonna help anyone now, is it?”
“Do you hate your father?”
“I don’t love him,” Jensen answered, feeling that was the truth. “Mom, I’m sorry. I love you and I love Kenzie and Josh, but Dad? No. Maybe once, but never again.”
She nodded, sadly, and Jensen was hit with the distinct feeling that she felt exactly the same way about her husband. He said nothing about it, though, and she said she’d make him some lunch later on and it was up to him if he wanted to come down for it or not. He waited until she was gone and then locked the door again after her. He didn’t want to be disturbed by anyone else.
Fully dressed, he got under the covers of his bed and grabbed his laptop from the nightstand, switching it on. He couldn’t help himself. He’d stayed away from the bed all night, pulling cushions from his closet so he could get comfortable on the floor, because there were too many memories attached to the plain white sheets and too-soft mattress. This was where Jay had taken his virginity from him. This was where he’d realised just how much he loved the man. This was where, with slippery wet skin and a desperation for the other man’s body that he never seemed able to satisfy, he had decided that he was going to spend the rest of his life with him. He hadn’t told Jay that at the time. But he thought that maybe Jay knew anyway.
There was a folder on the desktop of his computer that was just labelled ‘J-and-J’. He clicked it open, half a laugh escaping him when he was reminded how many videos Jay had made of the pair of them. Stupid videos, innocent and playful, and some not so innocent too. He opened up a video that had been made on New Year’s Eve. His mother, Dani and Stevie filled the screen, pulling faces at the camera, and he quickly skipped forward. He saw himself and stopped, his heart rate building pace. Jay had trained the camera on the bed when they had gone up there as the party wound down and now there he was, naked, bent over Jensen as he kissed his stomach. Jensen watched his hands moving over bare skin, wrapping around his thighs when he started to blow him. He didn’t remember the feel of Jay’s hands there. Didn’t remember being manhandled like that, pulled up towards Jay’s mouth. He remembered the blow-job, though it was a vague, soft-focus kind of memory.
Jensen moved the computer to the side of him so that he could reach under the covers and unfasten his jeans without toppling it. He shifted his hips upward, pulling his jeans and briefs down over his thighs. Gasping as the material brushed over the head of his dick. He kept his eyes on the laptop screen, Jay’s tan, tattooed skin filling the display. Fuck, Jensen thought. He is so beautiful. It occurred to him that he hadn’t really ever said that. Jay had told Jensen constantly that he was gorgeous and he’d even stopped arguing with him over that recently.
Jay would watch these videos most evenings before Jensen returned from school. Getting himself all wound up. Getting himself off so that all Jensen could smell if he decided to sit in the garage to do his homework was the scent of motor oil and spunk. He had told Jensen about it one morning, while he was getting ready to go to school and Jay had actually woken up before he left. The morning classes that day had been pretty uncomfortable as he fought to dispel the mental images of Jay doing exactly what he was doing right now.
He let his thumb catch on the underside of his dick. He rubbed the thick vein there and his breath hitched at a flash of memory. Jay’s finger right there, pushing in, making Jensen shake with an orgasm he couldn’t control. He came, dry, and then Jay had lifted his legs up and Jensen’s thighs had rested on Jay’s shoulders as the other man fucked him with his tongue until he came again, weakly. He hadn’t been able to move for a full fifteen minutes after that. A fact that Jay had taken full advantage of by mercilessly massaging his chest, teasing his freshly pierced nipple with nipping kisses.
The memory alone made him come right then and he held his breath as it spattered over the bottom of his shirt. He calmed down, his eyes drawn back to the screen. Jared had switched the camera off at some point, or edited into something else, because now the footage playing was of Jensen, dressed in a football jersey and blue jeans, flipping Jay off as he repeatedly told him to do something interesting. He remembered that day, too.
Feeling pathetic, and with his come drying on his shirt and belly, he shut the video down and pushed his laptop down the bed to sit by his feet. It wasn’t the sex he missed, he told himself. It was just Jared.
Jensen went back to school on Wednesday, done with wallowing. He’d showered and had lunch with his mother the previous day, then spent the afternoon helping her out. An apology of sorts. He’d disappeared back into his room the moment his father returned home, though, and not come out until the next morning, after he had left for work. He wondered if Alan had seen Jared again. He wondered how Jared was coping.
He didn’t want to be back at school, but it was better than sitting at home and thinking too much. At least here he had one person to talk to about it. Somebody that understood him better than his own parents did now.
He’d forgotten about the people who didn’t.
Jensen and Chris were sat with their lunch at the far end of the cafeteria. Nerd Niche, they used to call it. Jensen wasn’t a nerd any more, though, and Chris never had been. More people spoke to Jensen now, but they still seemed reluctant to socialise too much with him. Maybe he just gave out a ‘fuck off’ vibe, he didn’t know. They were halfway through lunch when Doug sauntered over and plonked his tray on the table right beside Jensen’s. He sat down next to him, ignoring Chris telling him to get lost.
“Hey, princess,” he drawled. “Saw your boyfriend’s name in the papers. What’s it like, taking it up the ass from a murderer?”
Figured. He was only brave enough to approach Jensen because he knew that Jared was incarcerated. Jensen responded far quicker than he once would have to the taunt, though. Before Doug could react, Jensen had got a firm hold on the back of his neck and was pushing his face down into the plate of food on his tray. He lifted him up again, hearing people start talking all at once and hearing teachers come running across the hall. Before he was separated from Doug he managed to get in close enough to growl out a warning.
“Ask that again, shithead, and next time your face is gonna break that table.”
Chris was staring at him as he was pulled up from his seat and pushed towards the exit, Doug still sputtering and wiping food off his face.
While he was sat outside the principal’s office, Stevie came in. She looked pissed off and he couldn’t blame her. He felt pissed off, because this whole deal was completely unfair. She went straight past him and into the office, with only a glance his way, and he straightened, frowning when the door shut firmly behind her.
Five minutes later she was coming out again and told him to follow her. He did as he was instructed, the frown deepening when she led him out to the parking lot. He got in the passenger seat of her hire car when she told him to and she got in the driver’s seat, opening up the window a crack for some cool, fresh air.
“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, since that seems a little redundant.”
“Yeah. A little,” Jensen agreed, still confused.
“I spoke to the principal. Told him that you have a lot on your plate right now. He agreed to let me speak to you about it. You can’t go around doing what you just did, Jensen.”
He snorted. “Why not? People like Doug deserve it.”
“You really want to ruin what has so far been a great school career by turning into an asshole for the last few months?”
Turning in his seat to face her, anger sparked in Jensen’s eyes. “I’m just fed up of taking crap from that guy, okay? Jay taught me to stand up for myself. That’s all I was doing.”
“You don’t have to resort to violence,” Stevie reminded him. “There are plenty of other ways.”
“Is that what this is about? Don’t worry about me, okay? And tell Jeff not to worry either. I’m not going to turn out like Jared.”
“Nobody ever expected you to, Jensen. But you keep doing shit like this, you aren’t going to turn out any better, either. I know you’re scared and probably feeling let down by everyone right now, but promise me you’re not going to let those feelings make you throw your future away.”
“What fucking future?” Jensen asked, his voice loud in the stillness of the car’s interior. “How the hell can I promise anything now? Everything’s screwed up and it isn’t fair. You think my dad’s really going to help Jared out of anything? I mean, what the hell was Jared thinking? Does he hate me so much that he just jumped at the chance to get me out of his life? Did I scare him that much by telling him I loved him? Has this all been some giant fucking joke on me?”
Stevie looked out over the rest of the campus, feeling her heart grow heavy at Jensen’s words. “He loves you,” she said. “I don’t think that was any kind of joke.”
“He never said it.”
“He didn’t need to! Everything he did, Jensen. Everything he did… It was obvious.”
“Then he should have tried harder to stop this shit from happening.”
“Why? For you?” Stevie looked across at him and he shifted, uncomfortably. “You really think he had that much of a choice?”
Jensen knew he hadn’t had the choice. And Stevie could see that right away, in the way he lowered his eyes from hers.
“Exactly. So just stop this. Ignore Doug, get on with your schoolwork and stay out of trouble. You know Jay didn’t do it and the law will figure that out sooner or later. Until then you just have to keep your nose clean.”
“Is that an order, Miss?” Jensen asked, a slight smile on his lips.
“Oh, yeah. This baby doesn’t want an asshole for a big brother.”
“Baby?”
“What?” Stevie said, looking back out of the window.
“You said baby.”
There was a short silence, and then she sighed. “Yeah, I know. Jeff doesn’t even know yet.”
“Don’t you think you should tell him?”
“He has enough to worry about right now. Don’t think you’re the only one that’s angry and upset about this. He’s been there every step of the way since Jared was nine years old. He’s been there every time Jared’s been in trouble. I think this time has really scared him, though. I can’t make it even worse by telling him that he’s going to be a father.”
Jensen shook his head. “How does that make it worse?”
“It just… It just does, okay? So don’t tell him, all right?”
“I won’t. Does the school know?”
“Right now the only people that know are me and you. I want to keep it that way. For now.”
Nodding, Jensen reached across the front seat and Stevie let him hug her in congratulations.
Jared could feel it. Eyes on him while he took a shower. He hated these open showers for that reason only. He didn’t care about being naked in front of a bunch of other men; didn’t give a shit about that. Didn’t even care if one or two of them wanted to leer at him while he showered. Up to them, the frigging perverts. So long as they didn’t try anything. What bothered him was when people were looking for more than just the size of his dick or the tightness of his ass. And he knew the goddamn tattoo that meant so little outside of prison was on full display when he showered.
The black crow that was on his lower back, on the left hand side, had been one of the tattoos that Jensen asked about once. Just once. Jared told him to ignore it, Jensen had touched it, playful until he felt Jared’s muscles go completely stiff. Teasing until he heard the tone of Jared’s voice when he told him, again, to ignore it. The crow tattoo was the only physical reminder, bar the short scar on the side of his calf, of Jared’s time with Chuck and his gang. It was a reminder to him that he was his own man from now on. That he didn’t do anyone else’s work unless it was honest and he was paid for it.
To anyone else, it would be a reminder that he had betrayed the people that said they were taking care of him.
He was quick to finish, not meeting anyone’s eyes as he grabbed his towel and headed away from the fine mist of water to dry off.
Inmates were allowed fifteen minutes in the prison gym each morning and another fifteen at night. Jared headed there as soon as he was told that he could, needing to exercise away some of the nervous anger that was building inside him. He’d been in here for only two days and the fury at what had been done to him was still strong. He’d get rid of that, he knew. He’d accept this bullshit within a week and, maybe, a month down the line he might even be out of here. Move his stuff out of Jeff’s place and take the bike up the old Route 66. Hustle and charm his way across the country until there was no more road to drive. The plan made a small part of him feel hope and he tucked it away inside fast, knowing that there was no fucking point.
He was thinking so hard on why not that he didn’t see the attack coming before he was pushed into the wall, skull bouncing painfully on the painted brick. His attacker quickly stepped away, his hands held up.
“Shit, man. Look where you’re damn well going.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” Jared demanded, straightening up with a quick shake of his head to clear it.
“Ain’t got a problem, dick. You do though. You come waltzing in here with a fucking crow on your skin like it belongs there? You don’t deserve no fucking bird, JT.”
Jared’s eyes widened for just a second, then he was back to anger.
“And what the fuck right do you have to decide that?” He asked.
The other man just lifted his shirt, and Jared’s eyes were drawn straight down to the large crow tattooed in solid black over his abdomen. “That’s what fucking right I got,” the man snarled, dropping his shirt again. “I was on Chuck’s crew when you were still in diapers, long before you fucked him over. And I heard all about it when you did.”
“And here I never did get that thank you card.”
“Oh, you’ll get your thank you, you little asshole. We got you in just the right place for that now.”
Jared stared back at him, but said nothing. Though in his mind was one very clear thought. We?
--TBC--
Title: Smoke And Lightning, Heavy Metal Thunder (43/?)
Authors: bloody_adorable and eviltwin
Fandoms: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki.
Rating: Adult..ish.
Wordcount: 4,043
Summary: AU. Jared's a classic case of rich kid gone wrong, whose only sense of family comes from his motorbike, the guy he rents a garage from to live in and the precinct cops who know his face better than most already. Jensen's a hard-working student whose family are helping push him towards great things. What happens when their two worlds collide, and will Jared's troublesome nature be too much for Jensen to handle?
Disclaimer: None of the following is true in any way, and no profit is made from this work of fiction.
Please, if you haven't yet, do check out this gorgeous fan manip by bflyw. Yummy!
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Chris dropped Jensen off at home around mid-evening on Monday night. His father’s car wasn’t in the driveway, which he took as a blessing, and when he got inside, the house was still and quiet. He waved goodbye to Chris and shut the door behind him, wondering where everyone was. It was clear his sister was elsewhere, since usually she played music or games or the TV in the evening and he could hear none of those things.
There was movement only a few moments later. A door opening down the hall and he saw his mother step out and look down the corridor at him. Donna looked surprised to see him, which he wasn’t expecting. He’d thought Alan might have warned her, but apparently not. She looked at his bags and then at his face and asked him what was going on. She sounded as upset and confused as he felt at that moment.
“I don’t know, mom,” he answered, honestly. “Jay’s in trouble and he doesn’t want me to help him. I didn’t have a choice.”
She moved as though she was going to hug him, and he took a quick step back to avoid it. He didn’t want any more pity; he was done with it. He just wanted to lock himself in his room and try and work out how the hell this could have happened. At the hurt look on her face, though, he apologised.
“I just can’t deal with this right now. I’m sorry.”
She nodded and let him go, watching him heft the bags he had upstairs.
He stayed in his room all night, not feeling any kind of appetite, and went through every ‘what if?’ that he could think of. What if he’d stayed home and let Chris visit Steve alone? What if Jared had just come with them? What if Jared really had killed Chuck? The not knowing was going to just keep hurting, he knew. He hadn’t been able to get Jared to talk. His father wouldn’t let him be in the room alone with him and he knew that was all he needed. He wanted to have Jared look him in the eyes and tell him he didn’t do it. Jensen was certain that he hadn’t, but the threat in the parking lot, the violent reaction to the way Chuck had treated him - none of it was exactly innocent. The fact that there was still that tiny, niggling doubt about all of this made Jensen hurt inside even more. He didn’t want to think that about Jared, but a part of his mind couldn’t help itself, it seemed.
What if Chuck had done something else? Something unthinkable, that might drive Jared to such an action? Jensen just didn’t know, couldn’t find out, and it was frustrating as hell.
At 1am, Stevie woke with a start on the couch. Jeff wasn’t next to her like he had been a couple of hours ago, when she’d fallen asleep watching Beyond Belief with him. She twisted around and saw him leaning against the doorway of the garage, his back to her. He looked round only when he heard her get up and move through the kitchen to get to him.
“Hey, baby,” he said, smiling as she slipped an arm round his waist. It was a sad smile, though, like he’d been caught grieving.
“He’ll be back before you know it,” Stevie said, her voice soft against his shirt-sleeve. “They both will.”
“Wish I could believe that,” Jeff sighed, moving his hand to cover hers. “Maybe Jay’s right, though, at least about one thing. Maybe Jensen is better off with his parents. They have a nice house, plenty of money-“
“Money isn’t everything and I’m sure that Jensen knows that. That won’t be the reason that he’s gone back.”
“No, I know it ain’t. I know why he left and it wasn’t anything Alan said to him. The boy’s scared. Who can blame him? I’m surprised you’re still here sometimes. After all you’ve had to go through with us.”
Stevie shrugged. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” she told him. “I love my boys.”
“Hey, your boys love you too.” Jeff shifted then, awkwardly leaning on the wall for support, and Stevie moved around him so she could hold his face in her hands and kiss him, slow and sweet.
“I know.”
“I’m worried for him,” Jeff admitted.
“I know,” Stevie said again. “So am I.”
“I mean, he’s been in trouble before. But not like this. It’s like he’s given up. Like he’s just going to let it happen. And I can’t figure out why.”
“Makes you wonder what Alan said to him before anyone else got in there, doesn’t it?”
Jeff grunted in agreement, annoyed by that thought. He felt a sudden urge to go straight to the Ackles house and make the man tell him what was said. If he didn’t know that anything like that would only make Jared’s situation worse, he would have done it in a heartbeat.
“This is wrong,” he muttered, resting his head back against the wall. “Everything about this is wrong.”
There was a knock at his door the following morning, probably to wake him up for school. He was already awake, still awake, since he’d been unable to sleep. He’d heard his sister get back around ten and wondered when his mother had let her start staying out so late on a school night. He wondered what his mother told her to explain Jensen being at home again. He’d heard his father return at eleven, followed by a few minutes of raised voices and then a door slamming.
The knocking at his door grew more insistent then. He ignored it and the door rattled before his mother’s voice called his name. He sighed, got up from the floor, and crossed the room to unlock the door.
“Honey-“
“I’m not going to school today,” he interrupted, his voice scratchy from the insomnia.
She didn’t even flinch. Just told him she’d call the school and let them know. She started to tell him that his father was heading out soon, but he turned away before she could finish.
“I don’t want that asshole anywhere near me,” he said, feeling an angry heat prickle his skin at the very thought.
“This isn’t his fault, Jensen.”
“Don’t give me that, mom. It’s all his fault. Every damn thing.”
His mother didn’t bother arguing with him. She stepped into his room after him, though, and he closed his eyes for a moment, annoyed. He just wanted everyone to leave him be. Why was that so damned hard for them all to understand?
“Did your father tell you anything about what’s going on?”
Jensen hadn’t been expecting that question. He turned again, his eyes narrowed. “Why?”
“I don’t think you understand it very well, that’s all. And I’m not saying for a moment that I think Jared is capable of killing a man, but I guess you can never know what someone can do if they feel they have to. Your father says they found clothes with Chuck’s blood on them in Jared’s room. Your room.”
“Yeah,” Jensen agreed. “In the laundry, where Jay probably put them after the fight with Chuck the other night. Because Jay doesn’t do laundry, not really, so he just dumped them right in there with everything else.”
“He can’t prove that, though, can he?” She sounded sad when she asked, which was only a slight relief.
“No, Mom. I guess he can’t.”
“And they found a gun in the garage.”
Jensen nodded. “A Glock. Jeff’s gun. He has a license for it.”
His mother stared at him. “You knew?”
“I’ve held the damned thing, Mom. You think Dad doesn’t own a gun or two? Maybe he just never told you about them, huh?”
“You know your father’s feelings on guns.”
Scowling, Jensen got onto his bed and sat down cross-legged on the mattress. “He doesn’t have to live in the kind of neighbourhood that Jeff and Jay do. I’m glad he feels safe enough to pretend to take the moral high ground, but that’s not gonna help anyone now, is it?”
“Do you hate your father?”
“I don’t love him,” Jensen answered, feeling that was the truth. “Mom, I’m sorry. I love you and I love Kenzie and Josh, but Dad? No. Maybe once, but never again.”
She nodded, sadly, and Jensen was hit with the distinct feeling that she felt exactly the same way about her husband. He said nothing about it, though, and she said she’d make him some lunch later on and it was up to him if he wanted to come down for it or not. He waited until she was gone and then locked the door again after her. He didn’t want to be disturbed by anyone else.
Fully dressed, he got under the covers of his bed and grabbed his laptop from the nightstand, switching it on. He couldn’t help himself. He’d stayed away from the bed all night, pulling cushions from his closet so he could get comfortable on the floor, because there were too many memories attached to the plain white sheets and too-soft mattress. This was where Jay had taken his virginity from him. This was where he’d realised just how much he loved the man. This was where, with slippery wet skin and a desperation for the other man’s body that he never seemed able to satisfy, he had decided that he was going to spend the rest of his life with him. He hadn’t told Jay that at the time. But he thought that maybe Jay knew anyway.
There was a folder on the desktop of his computer that was just labelled ‘J-and-J’. He clicked it open, half a laugh escaping him when he was reminded how many videos Jay had made of the pair of them. Stupid videos, innocent and playful, and some not so innocent too. He opened up a video that had been made on New Year’s Eve. His mother, Dani and Stevie filled the screen, pulling faces at the camera, and he quickly skipped forward. He saw himself and stopped, his heart rate building pace. Jay had trained the camera on the bed when they had gone up there as the party wound down and now there he was, naked, bent over Jensen as he kissed his stomach. Jensen watched his hands moving over bare skin, wrapping around his thighs when he started to blow him. He didn’t remember the feel of Jay’s hands there. Didn’t remember being manhandled like that, pulled up towards Jay’s mouth. He remembered the blow-job, though it was a vague, soft-focus kind of memory.
Jensen moved the computer to the side of him so that he could reach under the covers and unfasten his jeans without toppling it. He shifted his hips upward, pulling his jeans and briefs down over his thighs. Gasping as the material brushed over the head of his dick. He kept his eyes on the laptop screen, Jay’s tan, tattooed skin filling the display. Fuck, Jensen thought. He is so beautiful. It occurred to him that he hadn’t really ever said that. Jay had told Jensen constantly that he was gorgeous and he’d even stopped arguing with him over that recently.
Jay would watch these videos most evenings before Jensen returned from school. Getting himself all wound up. Getting himself off so that all Jensen could smell if he decided to sit in the garage to do his homework was the scent of motor oil and spunk. He had told Jensen about it one morning, while he was getting ready to go to school and Jay had actually woken up before he left. The morning classes that day had been pretty uncomfortable as he fought to dispel the mental images of Jay doing exactly what he was doing right now.
He let his thumb catch on the underside of his dick. He rubbed the thick vein there and his breath hitched at a flash of memory. Jay’s finger right there, pushing in, making Jensen shake with an orgasm he couldn’t control. He came, dry, and then Jay had lifted his legs up and Jensen’s thighs had rested on Jay’s shoulders as the other man fucked him with his tongue until he came again, weakly. He hadn’t been able to move for a full fifteen minutes after that. A fact that Jay had taken full advantage of by mercilessly massaging his chest, teasing his freshly pierced nipple with nipping kisses.
The memory alone made him come right then and he held his breath as it spattered over the bottom of his shirt. He calmed down, his eyes drawn back to the screen. Jared had switched the camera off at some point, or edited into something else, because now the footage playing was of Jensen, dressed in a football jersey and blue jeans, flipping Jay off as he repeatedly told him to do something interesting. He remembered that day, too.
Feeling pathetic, and with his come drying on his shirt and belly, he shut the video down and pushed his laptop down the bed to sit by his feet. It wasn’t the sex he missed, he told himself. It was just Jared.
Jensen went back to school on Wednesday, done with wallowing. He’d showered and had lunch with his mother the previous day, then spent the afternoon helping her out. An apology of sorts. He’d disappeared back into his room the moment his father returned home, though, and not come out until the next morning, after he had left for work. He wondered if Alan had seen Jared again. He wondered how Jared was coping.
He didn’t want to be back at school, but it was better than sitting at home and thinking too much. At least here he had one person to talk to about it. Somebody that understood him better than his own parents did now.
He’d forgotten about the people who didn’t.
Jensen and Chris were sat with their lunch at the far end of the cafeteria. Nerd Niche, they used to call it. Jensen wasn’t a nerd any more, though, and Chris never had been. More people spoke to Jensen now, but they still seemed reluctant to socialise too much with him. Maybe he just gave out a ‘fuck off’ vibe, he didn’t know. They were halfway through lunch when Doug sauntered over and plonked his tray on the table right beside Jensen’s. He sat down next to him, ignoring Chris telling him to get lost.
“Hey, princess,” he drawled. “Saw your boyfriend’s name in the papers. What’s it like, taking it up the ass from a murderer?”
Figured. He was only brave enough to approach Jensen because he knew that Jared was incarcerated. Jensen responded far quicker than he once would have to the taunt, though. Before Doug could react, Jensen had got a firm hold on the back of his neck and was pushing his face down into the plate of food on his tray. He lifted him up again, hearing people start talking all at once and hearing teachers come running across the hall. Before he was separated from Doug he managed to get in close enough to growl out a warning.
“Ask that again, shithead, and next time your face is gonna break that table.”
Chris was staring at him as he was pulled up from his seat and pushed towards the exit, Doug still sputtering and wiping food off his face.
While he was sat outside the principal’s office, Stevie came in. She looked pissed off and he couldn’t blame her. He felt pissed off, because this whole deal was completely unfair. She went straight past him and into the office, with only a glance his way, and he straightened, frowning when the door shut firmly behind her.
Five minutes later she was coming out again and told him to follow her. He did as he was instructed, the frown deepening when she led him out to the parking lot. He got in the passenger seat of her hire car when she told him to and she got in the driver’s seat, opening up the window a crack for some cool, fresh air.
“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, since that seems a little redundant.”
“Yeah. A little,” Jensen agreed, still confused.
“I spoke to the principal. Told him that you have a lot on your plate right now. He agreed to let me speak to you about it. You can’t go around doing what you just did, Jensen.”
He snorted. “Why not? People like Doug deserve it.”
“You really want to ruin what has so far been a great school career by turning into an asshole for the last few months?”
Turning in his seat to face her, anger sparked in Jensen’s eyes. “I’m just fed up of taking crap from that guy, okay? Jay taught me to stand up for myself. That’s all I was doing.”
“You don’t have to resort to violence,” Stevie reminded him. “There are plenty of other ways.”
“Is that what this is about? Don’t worry about me, okay? And tell Jeff not to worry either. I’m not going to turn out like Jared.”
“Nobody ever expected you to, Jensen. But you keep doing shit like this, you aren’t going to turn out any better, either. I know you’re scared and probably feeling let down by everyone right now, but promise me you’re not going to let those feelings make you throw your future away.”
“What fucking future?” Jensen asked, his voice loud in the stillness of the car’s interior. “How the hell can I promise anything now? Everything’s screwed up and it isn’t fair. You think my dad’s really going to help Jared out of anything? I mean, what the hell was Jared thinking? Does he hate me so much that he just jumped at the chance to get me out of his life? Did I scare him that much by telling him I loved him? Has this all been some giant fucking joke on me?”
Stevie looked out over the rest of the campus, feeling her heart grow heavy at Jensen’s words. “He loves you,” she said. “I don’t think that was any kind of joke.”
“He never said it.”
“He didn’t need to! Everything he did, Jensen. Everything he did… It was obvious.”
“Then he should have tried harder to stop this shit from happening.”
“Why? For you?” Stevie looked across at him and he shifted, uncomfortably. “You really think he had that much of a choice?”
Jensen knew he hadn’t had the choice. And Stevie could see that right away, in the way he lowered his eyes from hers.
“Exactly. So just stop this. Ignore Doug, get on with your schoolwork and stay out of trouble. You know Jay didn’t do it and the law will figure that out sooner or later. Until then you just have to keep your nose clean.”
“Is that an order, Miss?” Jensen asked, a slight smile on his lips.
“Oh, yeah. This baby doesn’t want an asshole for a big brother.”
“Baby?”
“What?” Stevie said, looking back out of the window.
“You said baby.”
There was a short silence, and then she sighed. “Yeah, I know. Jeff doesn’t even know yet.”
“Don’t you think you should tell him?”
“He has enough to worry about right now. Don’t think you’re the only one that’s angry and upset about this. He’s been there every step of the way since Jared was nine years old. He’s been there every time Jared’s been in trouble. I think this time has really scared him, though. I can’t make it even worse by telling him that he’s going to be a father.”
Jensen shook his head. “How does that make it worse?”
“It just… It just does, okay? So don’t tell him, all right?”
“I won’t. Does the school know?”
“Right now the only people that know are me and you. I want to keep it that way. For now.”
Nodding, Jensen reached across the front seat and Stevie let him hug her in congratulations.
Jared could feel it. Eyes on him while he took a shower. He hated these open showers for that reason only. He didn’t care about being naked in front of a bunch of other men; didn’t give a shit about that. Didn’t even care if one or two of them wanted to leer at him while he showered. Up to them, the frigging perverts. So long as they didn’t try anything. What bothered him was when people were looking for more than just the size of his dick or the tightness of his ass. And he knew the goddamn tattoo that meant so little outside of prison was on full display when he showered.
The black crow that was on his lower back, on the left hand side, had been one of the tattoos that Jensen asked about once. Just once. Jared told him to ignore it, Jensen had touched it, playful until he felt Jared’s muscles go completely stiff. Teasing until he heard the tone of Jared’s voice when he told him, again, to ignore it. The crow tattoo was the only physical reminder, bar the short scar on the side of his calf, of Jared’s time with Chuck and his gang. It was a reminder to him that he was his own man from now on. That he didn’t do anyone else’s work unless it was honest and he was paid for it.
To anyone else, it would be a reminder that he had betrayed the people that said they were taking care of him.
He was quick to finish, not meeting anyone’s eyes as he grabbed his towel and headed away from the fine mist of water to dry off.
Inmates were allowed fifteen minutes in the prison gym each morning and another fifteen at night. Jared headed there as soon as he was told that he could, needing to exercise away some of the nervous anger that was building inside him. He’d been in here for only two days and the fury at what had been done to him was still strong. He’d get rid of that, he knew. He’d accept this bullshit within a week and, maybe, a month down the line he might even be out of here. Move his stuff out of Jeff’s place and take the bike up the old Route 66. Hustle and charm his way across the country until there was no more road to drive. The plan made a small part of him feel hope and he tucked it away inside fast, knowing that there was no fucking point.
He was thinking so hard on why not that he didn’t see the attack coming before he was pushed into the wall, skull bouncing painfully on the painted brick. His attacker quickly stepped away, his hands held up.
“Shit, man. Look where you’re damn well going.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” Jared demanded, straightening up with a quick shake of his head to clear it.
“Ain’t got a problem, dick. You do though. You come waltzing in here with a fucking crow on your skin like it belongs there? You don’t deserve no fucking bird, JT.”
Jared’s eyes widened for just a second, then he was back to anger.
“And what the fuck right do you have to decide that?” He asked.
The other man just lifted his shirt, and Jared’s eyes were drawn straight down to the large crow tattooed in solid black over his abdomen. “That’s what fucking right I got,” the man snarled, dropping his shirt again. “I was on Chuck’s crew when you were still in diapers, long before you fucked him over. And I heard all about it when you did.”
“And here I never did get that thank you card.”
“Oh, you’ll get your thank you, you little asshole. We got you in just the right place for that now.”
Jared stared back at him, but said nothing. Though in his mind was one very clear thought. We?
--TBC--