RT Log: Ephraim to the Rescue

[regal_rapier]

Characters: Eirika & Ephraim, the King & Queen of Renais
Date: October 05 - Backdated a Little
Summary: Ephraim finally goes to see his sister after the last unfortunate events between him, Seth, and Eirika. He tells Eirika what he sees in her and she goes a little crazy, but he manages to talk some sense into her.
Warnings: None, actually.


Ephraim stood in front of Eirika's door, pacing back and forth. He would pause and raise his hand as if to knock only to take it back and continue to pace some more. And thus this continued for a good while before he steeled himself. His dear sister was most likely in a terrible state after last night's affairs and he needed to be as careful than ever. He...remembered the last time that she had broken down, how a slip of his words caused her a great fright, to regard him with such fear in her eyes. He certainly did not want that again. So his first thoughts came to how he should introduce his arrival, which he had been contemplating this entire time. A soft knock...light yet firm, he decided. With that in mind, he finally took the initiative and lightly rapped on Eirika's door.

The previous night was restless. Eirika had slept, but she did not dream. It was a night filled with nightmares. She had tossed and turned, worrying over what Seth had gone to do, still upset over everything that had happened. With a hand in her hair, she cradled her forehead in the palm. The sound of the knock caught her attention and she forced herself to her feet. She was still pale, still sickly looking, but it didn't stop her approach of the door. It was probably Seth, returning to apologise to her once more.

The moment she tugged the door and it nearly fell on her, she pushed it up to the best of her ability. The top hinge was broken, which caused it to swing off to one side. Her thoughts turned when she laid eyes upon her brother. She still wasn't ready to see him and she knew that when her expression darkened. And without even fixing her door, she began to close it -- well, as much it would allow her to.

Ephraim was not prepared for the sight of his sister so sickly and pale nor did he expect her to close the door on him. He placed a hand against the door, barring it from closing any further. "Please...dear sister...Eirika, I implore you. Please allow me entrance." She clearly did not wish to see him, but how could he leave her like this? Impossible...

She was expecting this. A part of her wanted to slam his hand between the door and the frame. A part of her wanted that. She ignored that, however, and reluctantly opened her door again to let him in. "........." After all, if she didn't let him in, he'd probably finish Seth's job. Stepping off to the side, she curtsied to the best of her ability, folding an arm across her abdomen respectfully. He didn't deserve respect, however.

He felt her reluctance and could feel the weight of her dislike around her, feeling up the room. It was almost unbearable to sit in the same room as his sister, the source of such extreme enmity towards him. It was tense...and Ephraim had his work cut out for him. Opposite of his sister, he did his best to meet the dull light of her eyes. "I come to you, dear sister because I was concerned about your well-being. I would apologize...however I feel as though I have little to feel sorry for."

She attempted to close the door and when it wouldn't close gently, she edged it into its closing position. Then she planted her back against it. She expected him to be able to read into her. He was her brother after all. And her twin. She averted her gaze, however, nodding once. She really didn't have any words for him. It was better for him to speak and get everything out of his system.

"You flew into a rage when you heard my words. You believed me to be conspiring against you. I know that you are my sister. However, it was irresponsible of you to make assumptions off of a single line of dialogue without knowing fully well the context of the conversation," he said calmly, his voice even throughout.

What could she say to that? It wasn't as though she hadn't heard enough from Seth what was bad about her. Flaw this. Flaw that. All she was hearing was "I'm not good enough for you; I'm not good enough for him; I'm not good enough for anyone. Leave me alone."

Leave me be, she silently pleaded with herself. She moved not a muscle and fixed her eyes on the patch of hardwood floor she was focused upon.

Ephraim watched her and let out a resigned sigh. "However...I'm not mad at you. Far from it. I can feel your wounds, even if I don't completely understand it. You need not feel so....alone... Eirika..."

It doesn't matter how I feel. Seth made that perfectly clear to me.

Once more, she made absolutely no effort to respond. She hurt, all right. He wasn't mad at her for being such a twisted creature. That was supposed to be relieving, right? Well, it wasn't. She looked neither pleased nor disgusted by his words. Her neutral expression was probably the best way to do that. She thought about fingering her clavicle and when she remembered she had stripped herself of the pendant from her retainer, she realised she felt lighter. There was nothing to grab onto, though...

Ephraim felt that he was grasping at straws. What could he say to snap her out of that state? What could invoke a reaction from her? Any reaction at all... "Please speak, Eirika. I...I..." Ephraim was at a loss for words. He wished to speak, but...how was he to convey his sincerity? His own eloquence could only go so far. It showed on his face, clearly troubled by his inability to speak. He turned his gaze away unable to focus with the sight of his sister, so morose in front of him.

She fnally moved, adjusted her form, and smoothed out her hair. She knew she looked terrible. She hated Ephraim seeing her like that. It was precisely the reason the night before, she hid herself in the corner and wouldn't let Seth even touch her, until he took it upon himself to do so. It remained dark the entire night, so he couldn't see her. She was not so fortunate with her brother. "I have nothing to say," she finally replied as she inched into her kitchen.

He found his hand clasped around his Solar Brace. He had long noticed that Eirika had shed her own half and no longer had it upon her apparel. But the significance of his own helped steady his resolve to come to his sister's aid, even if she was pushing him away. He would endure them, no matter how much it hurt.

He followed her and continued in. "What else must I say to have my sister back, to have my words slip past the walls you've erected?"

"You do not need to do anything," she protested softly. Trembling hands lifted to draw down a box of tea, before she filled the kettle and waited for it to boil. Eirika hadn't gone anywhere. She was still there. She was simply pushing that part of her aside. She was trying to protect herself from being hurt any further. She'd heard enough and done enough over the course of the three days that caused her to ache. And she felt even worse when she thought about that night at the hot springs, and how it wouldn't happen again.

"Yes I do, Eirika. Your gaze lies inwardly to yourself while you ignore your brother before you. You look into your own darkness and see the truth, even if they are but illusions."

"I am not ignoring you. I heard everything you have to say. What am I supposed to say to that? What difference does it make? It doesn't make a difference at all. In the end, everything is still the same. I still feel the same." She tapped the counter tentatively, "Besides, I am making you tea."

"What do you feel?" he inquired. "Why have you taken such a pessimistic view point?"

"I am not talking about this anymore." She'd made her decision after all. That was all there was to it. She'd been pushed to make a decision, and she'd choose one where no one got anything out of it, not even her. She was fine with giving up anything she wanted if it meant everyone would get off of her.

"...You've gone so far as to distrust me? To regard me as the same as everyone else...?" He would bear the pain. For as long as he could before he himself would crack.

"You are my brother. There is no one who takes higher priority than you. I will not argue anymore. I will not banter anymore. I will not defend myself. I said exactly the same thing to Seth last night. It... I will tell you the same thing. I have very much lost my faith in men. I have no intentions of seeing Prince Innes. I'm sure he's no different, no matter how he may treat me when it's just the two of us. Seth gets what he wants. I'll have nothing to do with him, but Seth has also fallen out of my favour, and he will nto be in it again anytime soon. You, however..."

She turned and heaved a sigh. "You are my brother. That's all there is to it."

"It seems as though you're only tolerating me," he said as he crossed his arms.

"...What do you want me to do? I'm not exactly happy. I'm not going to jump in your arms, Ephraim," she claimed as she tilted her head at him.

"I know not what transpired between yourself and Seth. But you can't let whatever he did speak for all of us," he said in a near scoff.

"Please. Go on and tell me what else I should and should not do. It's not as though I didn't hear enough of that from Seth. It's not as though I haven't heard enough about everything that I do and how wrong it is. No one wants me to do what I want to do. Everyone tells me, "Oh, that's not right for you." It's like I've become a child and no one can treat me like I'm a young woman. All I want is to be happy, and I had the potential to be, if people would stop telling me not to. A requirement to be someone for every single person who crosses my path."

Eirika shook her head, "I don't want to be like that. I... just want to be happy... with whom I want to be happy with... That's all I want. I don't want people influencing me anymore. I... don't want to have compassion for people, but I can't stop, because that's who I am. No matter how I feel, in the end, I'm going to do what everyone else tells me to do."

"Hmph, Eirika, I dare you to look into my eyes and tell me that I have never done anything for your own happiness, that all I ever did was manipulate you for my own purposes." He needed to snap her out of this quickly. She needed to have a wake-up call.

She looked over to him, "You are excluded from that. You are my brother." She was using that line again, the one that meant he was more than a brother. She meant the rest of Ares. Why did she care so much what they thought of her? Her stare glazed over in thought and she found herself being tugged on by oblivion, or what she was calling oblivion.

At least he knew now that his words meant something. Perhaps. "Being compassionate and attaining happiness are not mutually exclusive. Nor should they interfere with one another."

"...They shouldn't, but in my life, they do. My happiness invokes the unhappiness for others. I... can't let that happen. I... need to make everyone happy." And this was how it would come out. Her truth. Her honesty. Her heart.

His expression had long since softened and he approached her, extending a hand toward her for the first time since their meeting and gently lifted her chin. "No one...is ever happy when you yourself feel so miserable, my sister."

Eirika cringed and visibly so when he reached for her. Even when Seth had extended his hands, she had simply not reacted in the least. It was because it was Ephraim, because she was wounded, because she ached, because she was on that verge where she was her, and not her at all. "...Which... is why no one knows I feel this way... I don't want anyone to know. I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"I am no one. I am not anyone. I am simply you, our blood one and the same..." he whispered as he drew himself closer still to Eirika. "And I assure you...that people are far more understanding than that..."

Those words and his actions... There was a fear that held a grasp upon her. Her cheeks flushed, something so like her, and yet it felt foreign to her. "...E-Ephraim..." she stammered softly. "...I... am too much like him. Too driven by my pride... Too... controlled by it. Too convinced I must do everything alone..."

Him...she didn't mean Innes, did she? But that was the least of his worries. "There is...yet another person whom you are alike. One that pains me to make the comparison to," he replied.

She flattered herself against the counter as she listened to him, "What... What are you talking about?" His tone was peculiar, like something she'd locked away in the depths of her heart. There was a nostalgia pouring over her, one she didn't want to see.

"...Prince Lyon," he uttered, his name a faint whisper. The subject of his old friend had never been touched upon and he had refused to let his mind reminisce too much into his memory. It was something that continued to pain him, something that still deeply affected him. But now his spirit seemed to have come alive for him, summoned by the disposition of his sister. "He...felt the same kind of despair. Felt the need to make everyone happy. Sacrificed himself for the benefit of others. Refused the help of those closest to him..." He didn't have to continue, did he?

She didn't want to hear it. She was seeing it, and the very thought of Lyon. Her expression twisted. Her hands lifted and carefully inched through her hair before harshly clasping over her ears. "Stop it! Stop! Please stop!" Eirika knew she was weakened, but she wasn't anything like Lyon. He fell to sorrow. She was better than that. She knew she was better than that. How could she be so pathetic? And there she went again, holding herself responsible for this, and for that.

Ephraim swept down upon her and took her into his arms to steady her. His words were harsh and he knew that. What he said could make or break his sister during that moment and he prayed that she would be able to find the strength to carry on. "You're not Lyon. You're the Queen of Renais. Yet you're still only human...but you can overcome this."

Eirika shook her head, "...I'm not Lyon at all! I'm nothing like him! Nothing like... him..." She curled her arms around him and buried her face into his chest. She didn't want to hear that. She didn't even want to consider it. She didn't even want to think about Lyon. Not the things he'd said to her. Not what had happened. She wanted to forget all of that. "...Please stop, brother... Please don't say anything more..." she murmured into him.

Ephraim didn't say anything more and simply held his sister against him. He had exhausted everything he had to help his sister. He only hoped that it was enough to bring his sister back from the blink of oblivion.

Ephraim succeeded in something. Whether it could be good or bad, remained to be seen. She was broken. Shattered, in a means of speaking, unsure of how she should feel, as opposed to how she wanted to feel. She wanted those feelings she held, that love, that compassion, to remain. She wanted to pursue her love. She wanted to pursue her happiness. It seemed to show through the tears she shed on her sibling. If anyone was allowed to see her break this way, it was him. Ephraim had always fixed things. Surely, this time would be no different.

"Eirika... I never held as much power over you as you thought. I always allowed you to do what your heart desires. And this has never changed nor will it ever. I would give you permission to do as you wished...but that is not even necessary. You've always had the right since the very beginning."

She clutched his chest with her fingertips and as she lifted her blue eyes to his, she simply stared at him. The power he had over her was the power she gave. Ephraim wasn't just a brother to her. Ephraim had taken the place of her father, the man who would have given her blessings and approval. In some ways, Eirika was still just a young girl, who didn't seem to know what she was doing. "...Why do other people make me feel like I can't...? Because I let them, right...? I know what it is I want. I know what outcome I want. I've... Even with Marth I wasn't so certain, but... every day it's... just so obvious."

Ephraim looked down with those kind eyes and nuzzled her cheek with his nose encouragingly. "What is it that you desire, dearest Eirika?" he asked.

His younger sister flushed and all the way to a scarlet shade, well on the way to a deep bordeaux. "...I-I... can't tell you..." she replied shyly, as though she had just dropped seven years off of her life. "...I... that... Uhm..."

Ephraim chuckled and pet his sister's hair, letting his fingers slide through her strands of blue. "And you don't have to," he smiled.

"...So what should I tell him...?" She meant Innes, of course. Ephraim probably already knew how she felt. He was her other half, after all. It was only logical for such a thing to happen.

"I'm...afraid that there's little that I can do to help you there," he said. "But...I don't think you have to worry about any challenges. Not with regards to you at least."

Eirika regarded him carefully, "...No... I... didn't mean with regards to that. I... know well enough of how... Well... That whole thing with his dedication. I meant... with..." She pointed to herself meekly.

"Yes. He is adamant... to say the least. But...it doesn't matter how you say it, really? So long as you do say it," he replied.

"...So... I actually... need..." She had to? She didn't have a choice? Was that it? Innes did deserve to know. Eirika had skirted around it continuously. She was good at that. And what... what of her other feelings? Her curiosity? But then, she'd been pushed away from all of that. Not by choice, but rather by force. "...I actually have to say that?"

"Again, what would I know? The world is your own stage, dear sister. You need not ask me what you should do."

Eirika's expression darkened, "...I... am looking for your advice, brother. I... do not know what I should do. I do not know what my position is. I do not know how I should feel. The night Seth came to see me, I had... I don't remember ever feeling that way before. It was as though I wasn't me at all, as though when I cried, I cried everything out. It's like I look at me and I look like me, but I don't feel like me."

"I know of your feelings for the Frelian prince. But what of everyone else?" It was a fine line between advising her and telling her what to do. For this reason, he had to be careful. He did not wish to perpetuate the same cycle that had trapped Eirika for so long.

"I don't know," his sister confessed. "I don't know how I feel about anyone. I'm still hurt. I'm still angry. I'm still... I feel like I have to guard myself now. I feel like I even have to guard against Prince Innes. I don't think I should see him again." She laced her hands together and peered over to the tea kettle.

"But...what of what you said just moment ago, Eirika?" he asked, concerned that she was slipping back.

"...Even though that's how I feel..." She shook her head, "...I don't think I can. There's nothing there. That's all there is to it." Lying, evading; it was how she'd get through it. She knew she couldn't pursue that without hurting a bunch of others, so she really was still trapped.

Ephraim stared at her with such an incredulous look. He honestly could not believe what he was hearing. "Nothing there? You're taking a step back Eirika. Those words just now were not sincere," he replied, a little less than pleased at the regression.

He sounded just like Innes. Innes had said something of the sort the night Eirika had tried so hard to push him out of her life, to deny any potential attraction. She had wanted to protect him. Protect him from what. Herself? Yes. Herself. She had wanted to prevent him from ever being subjected to whatever it was that she was. He was in the market for a bride and she could not be that to him. Not a bride, not a beloved, nothing. Not to him. Not to anyone.

Her cheeks flushed with those eyes upon her. "...Ah... I'm too busy for this kind of thing," she decided to try.

Ephraim sighed with a hand to his temple. "Now you're just trying to find excuses. Is your aversion to such a commitment so great?"

"...It doesn't have anything to do with commitment, Ephraim..." she admitted, folding her arms across her chest. There was no sense in going into more details. It was embarrassing.

Perhaps he had expected too much out of this meeting. His sister had been broken and he had just begun to pick up the pieces. Would he be able to pick up all of the shards in a single night? His responsibility as her brother weighed heavily upon him, but he would have to continue helping his sister as long as it would take. He reached for her face gently and caressed her cheek with his hands, his eyes casting a wistful glance upon his sister. "Perhaps...another time then, Eirika. You've been through a lot and you look so frail. You need rest more than anything now."

She darkened when he reached for her. It was a comforting gesture. If they were in front of others, she would have batted him away. Eirika cast her eyes downwards and she shuffled a little, nervously, and clearly so. "...I'm sorry. I'm always so much trouble to you. I truly am the most fortunate queen, to have a brother who cares about me so much. Thank you." She lifted a hand and cautiously rested it upon his. "...Do I really look so terrible?"

"A little worse for wear, but even that can't mar your own natural beauty," he smiled. "You are my sister, the only one of her kind."

"You flatter me, brother, as much as Innes does. Neither of you need to seek my affections," she commented kindly, with a smile. "I have not been eating well. It seems when I'm upset I'm incapable of really doing anything... useful."

"Perhaps the same could be said of all people," he pointed out. "You just need to get back on your feet, dear sister. If I may, I would gladly be here to help you until then."

"Help me out?" she asked in surprise. How would he help her out? What would he be doing? Why would he put himself into that situation?

"You can't expect me to simply sit here and watch you when you're feeling so horrible," he said. "I would gladly help with the more mundane tasks around here if it would help you find your calm."

The more... mundane tasks around... her home? Did he mean he wanted to clean her house and cook for her while she recovered...? She had never felt so weak in her life. "...N-no." Lifting a hand she brought her fingertips over her forehead, "I'll be okay. I was just... I was so upset, so angry... I... just flew off the handle... I can't let one thing get in my way, no matter how I saw it. I still have to face everything else. I still have to find a way to talk to everyone and not let people worry."

"If that is what you wish. I would still like to help you, however I can, whenever I can," Ephraim offered.

"Ephraim..." She reached for his hands and squeezed them gently, "Do you not do enough for me? You console me. You love me. You take care of me. You prevent me from falling too far into myself. It is me who should be doing things for you."

Ephraim spread her fingers and slipped them around hers, mirroring the actions of his sister. How weak her grip felt... yet with a gentle touch, he held his sister's hand against his. "I'm not keeping track of favors," he chuckled. "I'm simply there when you're in need. That is all there is to it."

His younger sister flushed at his attentions. At times she did feel so young with him, even though she was staring into the eyes of her twin. They shared blood. They shared eyes. They shared hearts. And... they... She darkened at the thought. "You are impossible. And what do I tell Prince Innes then? 'My lady, may I come for tea?' 'Oh, Innes... I'm sorry... I'm... a bit preoccupied...' 'With whom?' '...My brother...' Blah-blah. He'll get jealous."

"That isn't something new," he put aside with a light shrug.. "But are you expecting him?" But of course, the prince would surely come to check up on his sister after everything she had experienced so far.

Eirika was surprised by his question and her expression showed it, "O-o-oh! No. I... Really had no plans of talking to him at all..." She darkened a little.

"You will have to eventually," he said. "Though I'm not at all bothered by the prospect of making him jealous. He'll just have to live with it."

Yes. She knew this. But... Her hands pried their freedom from his and she lifted her arms to embrace herself with a sigh. "...I'm... just not ready yet. I have to think. I have... have to consider everything..." Consider what? Her actions with Innes. "...Really, it's probably best that I'm forced to take care of myself for now. I have a lot of thinking to do..."

Their fingers slipped away and he watched that pensive expression pass over Eirika's face. "If that is what you need," he replied. So long as she wasn't in that other state, then everything would be fine. He trusted his sister that much. "But I hope that you wouldn't mind if I drop by later to see you fared."

"Come see me in a couple days, Ephraim. Three at least," Eirika offered him a smile and nodded, pressing away her thoughts briefly. "I would like that a lot."

And with that, Ephraim leaned forward, offering his sister a chaste kiss to her lips in response. "Please take care now, dear Eirika. My thoughts will be with you."

Her eyelashes fluttered at this gesture and she smiled, nodding. "I will. I promise I'll take better care of myself. You must be well also. Please don't be afraid to bother me."

"Of course. We'll be seeing each other quite soon," he smiled. Before he left, he gave a last passing glance at his sister before he left. He was still uneasy about how things would turn out, but... he placed his faith on his sister to make the decisions that would benefit herself the most.