I want to meet the mysterious grandmother who has the family in a tizzy.
I want to see more of Billy and Margie - "I felt vindicated... because Margie, who had turned twelve only two months prior, hadn’t received anything from Grandmother at all." This really made me like Billy, where I hadn't gotten much other than 'brat' before this.
And I really want to see the intersection of Grandmother's visit and Mr Williams' next conflagration. That could possibly make me very happy indeed, though I don't yet know whether grandmother is going to be a figure of fun or pity or fear.
Yep, I'm not sure where it's going, but I think you should pitch it as if it was written by a younger kid. Maybe E @ A's age? Also, sometimes kids have mean/dodgy names for adults, so she doesn't always have to be Grandmother.
I like the pyro, Mr Williams. Maybe start with that. I get the impression the kid is a boy at first. After the great pyo stuff the character has the voice of a girl (because of the attention to social manners), so pay attention to that :)
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I want to meet the mysterious grandmother who has the family in a tizzy.
I want to see more of Billy and Margie - "I felt vindicated... because Margie, who had turned twelve only two months prior, hadn’t received anything from Grandmother at all." This really made me like Billy, where I hadn't gotten much other than 'brat' before this.
And I really want to see the intersection of Grandmother's visit and Mr Williams' next conflagration. That could possibly make me very happy indeed, though I don't yet know whether grandmother is going to be a figure of fun or pity or fear.
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I like the pyro, Mr Williams. Maybe start with that. I get the impression the kid is a boy at first. After the great pyo stuff the character has the voice of a girl (because of the attention to social manners), so pay attention to that :)
Reply
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