The words I dare not speak aloud ( Read more... )

There are some I will always feel comfortable dancing with, but I guess in my world of princess stories and happy endings, I believe that there should be more. That the way I dance with a man should show the world that my heart is his. Maybe thats why I feel so guilty. Dirty, because I feel like I'm lying to the world, and maybe a little to myself ( Read more... )

I thought I was doing okay.

I wish someone had told me that the princess stories aren't real. I've been slow dancing in a burning room for a month, but I never knew because I was looking at him. I'd never been cheated on before. He said she reminded him of me. But I guess she was like me only better. I don't know. Everything about this place reminds me of him. I can't stay ( Read more... )

I can't sleep. But I don't want to cry myself to sleep. But I can't quite bring myself to call and wake him up. He doesn't sleep enough anyway.

The music in my headphones isn't loud enough to drown out the recitation of the entire Braveheart script by the group of fat, unfunny people next to me. They're all standing in a loose circle right by my table at school. Maybe I should warn them they won't be safe that close very much longer. GAH! At least the Braveheart has stopped. Now its a ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder how much longer there will be a place for me in his world. I wonder why I miss his compliments so much. Why I dress up for him. Only I don't get the compliments and approving looks from him. I hate feeling so guilty for being appreciated by someone besides him. That's when I try and remember the last time he tried to make me feel ( Read more... )

Sometimes I want to have the will power to stop eating. Not completely, but eat just barely enough to live. To run until my feet bleed and my lungs scream. To lift weights for hours and let the frenzy of pushups and situps consume me. To find the patience or time to sit through yoga or pilates. I hate that I could be so unhappy with myself that I ( Read more... )

Happy Birthday Me!

You make me so damn angry sometimes!