(no subject)
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:31:39 PM): i dunno
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:31:42 PM): i'm weird
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:31:45 PM): i have problems
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:31:49 PM): MEDICAL problems
OR
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:38:44 PM): yeah it worked
WhatYouWill133 (10:38:49 PM): good
WhatYouWill133 (10:38:51 PM): thanx
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:39:34 PM): i does what i does
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:39:41 PM): but for no small price!
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:39:45 PM): pay up sailor!
WhatYouWill133 (10:40:01 PM): oh geeze
WhatYouWill133 (10:40:11 PM): i must have left my wallet in my other pants
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:40:28 PM): and your other pants in another room?!
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:40:32 PM): i see how it is
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:40:36 PM): you're a streetwalker
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:40:46 PM): well i don't want your filthy love money anyways
WhatYouWill133 (10:41:02 PM): good, cause love money is all I's got
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:41:07 PM): hahaha
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:41:27 PM): you win this time
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:41:37 PM): but i'll get you gadget
WhatYouWill133 (10:41:52 PM): hey, I don't know who you think you are talking to...
WhatYouWill133 (10:41:56 PM): but my name is Robert
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:42:01 PM): what?
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:42:28 PM): rob-- robberte, robbette.... roburto?..
WhatYouWill133 (10:42:33 PM): no no
WhatYouWill133 (10:42:44 PM): you must be...from ...well...not around here
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:42:57 PM): rah... row... b urt?
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:43:03 PM): robot?!
WhatYouWill133 (10:43:39 PM): close enough
WhatYouWill133 (10:43:44 PM): and I eat babies!
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:43:45 PM): i see your game, metalman
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:44:24 PM): steal our women with their fresh baked pies and take our jobs with high paying interest and beguiling 401Ks
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:44:35 PM): you think you run this place don't you
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:44:40 PM): well i've got news for you
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:44:51 PM): 10010101111001010100010101100100101011010011
OR
HalfOfMeIsLost (12:30:25 PM): lol that show is rediculous
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:30:33 PM): oh the date my mom show?
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:30:41 PM): it's so freakin staged half the time
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:30:59 PM): and the mom's go out and do exactly what the daughters tell them not to do
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:31:39 PM): they're like, "you can do anything, blah blah blah, but whatever you do --- don't tell him you're a whore and sleep with him."
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:31:56 PM): and then the conversation will somehow lead to whores
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:32:00 PM): and the mom will be like
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:32:18 PM): "now i'm not supposed to tell you this ::nervous giggle::"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:32:32 PM): ::guy looks intruiged/scared::
HalfOfMeIsLost (12:32:44 PM): "my daughters a slut!"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:32:53 PM): mom: "but... i'm a whore"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:33:05 PM): guy: "well, how good a whore are you?"
HalfOfMeIsLost (12:33:05 PM): hahahahahaha
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:33:09 PM): mom: "very good"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:33:24 PM): guy: "well i'm intruiged.... but how do i KNOW?"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:33:37 PM): ::cuts to them humping on a pool table
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:33:38 PM): ::
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:34:07 PM): then it's the end of the date and the mom's talking to her daughter
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:34:13 PM): WHILE buttoning her shirt back up
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:34:25 PM): daughter: "MOM!! you didn't sleep with him did you??"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:34:38 PM): mom: "well --- maybe ::sheepish smile::"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:35:10 PM): daughter: "but mom i told you not to.... ::whining::"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:35:46 PM): mom: "it's ok honey, he said that if i was that good, he can't even imagine how good you are in bed.... i think we have it in the bag"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:35:54 PM): ::mother and daughter high five::
HalfOfMeIsLost (12:37:02 PM): hahahahaha
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (12:37:07 PM): ::cuts to guy on his own:: "man if the mom's that much of a slut, i wonder what her daughter's like! ::pumps fist in classic white boy motion::"
OR
thenewyear13 (10:12:37 PM): he doesn't even have much hair now
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:12:40 PM): yeah
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:12:45 PM): so no hiding joints in it
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:12:51 PM): unless he gets a weave or something
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:02 PM): and makes dreads or cornrows out of joints
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:05 PM): wrapped in hair
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:07 PM): that he bought
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:12 PM): off of the black market
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:18 PM): from slaves
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:28 PM): who work in sweatshops
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:33 PM): CHILDPORN sweatshops
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:39 PM): holy shit phil's going to jail!
thenewyear13 (10:13:49 PM): lets go save the bastard
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:13:54 PM): right!
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:14:04 PM): you get some matches, and i'll find something to row with
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:14:12 PM): we're coming philll!!!
thenewyear13 (10:14:21 PM): Help is on the waaaaaaaaay
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:14:37 PM): hahaha
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:14:48 PM): can you imagine what sort of crazy adventure we'd have?!
thenewyear13 (10:15:09 PM): lol
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:15:16 PM): we'd somehow end up in cuba
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:15:25 PM): and befriending castro himself
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:15:29 PM): and he'd help us out
thenewyear13 (10:15:31 PM): especially trying to ROW to puerto rico, when the journey is mostly on land.
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:15:45 PM): hahaha
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:15:54 PM): and we'd save castro's long lost dog
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:16:09 PM): which would TOTALLY fix US/CUBAN relations
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:16:17 PM): and then the festivities would begin
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:16:35 PM): and russia would be too shy to ask
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:16:40 PM): so cuba would tell us
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:16:42 PM): and we'd say
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:16:45 PM): hey, no beef
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:16:50 PM): c'mon russia
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:17:09 PM): put the vodka down and hold my legs for this lovely kegstand
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:17:12 PM): we're going for the record
thenewyear13 (10:17:34 PM): lol
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:17:38 PM): one chug-a-lug-a, two chug-a-lug-a, three chug-a-lug-a...
thenewyear13 (10:17:44 PM): goodness
thenewyear13 (10:17:52 PM): this is way bigger than I thought.
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:17:57 PM): hahaha
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:18:00 PM): you have no idea
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:18:13 PM): you and i could SAVE. THE. WORLD!
thenewyear13 (10:18:16 PM): that reminds me of this joke that Bethany and I have
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:18:25 PM): yeah?
thenewyear13 (10:18:35 PM): we were in the apple store one day, and behind customer service, there's this bright red phone
thenewyear13 (10:18:59 PM): and I was like, "Hey Than, that's the phone you use to start World War 3"
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:19:55 PM): knowing us
thenewyear13 (10:20:11 PM): "You just pick it up and be like, 'Russia? Yeah, what?! World War Three, bitches. Our weapon? Nunchucks. Yours? Toothpicks. Too bad you didn't pick a cooler weapon from the weapon hat."
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:20:26 PM): we'd give castro his dog back right when bethany almost accidentally started ww3
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:20:52 PM): and the three (plus mutt) would rush in right at the last second
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:21:25 PM): us: WAAAAIIT!
castro: ::something cuban::
[everyone stops]
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:21:44 PM): ::both america and russia hangs head in embarrassment::
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:22:04 PM): AMERICA: we're sorry ::kicking invisible rock on ground::
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:22:29 PM): RUSSIA: we're sorry too (but in russian, so we just GUESS that's what they say)
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:22:48 PM): then the women in bikini's roll out a huge sheet cake
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:23:00 PM): which castro's dog jumps into the middle of
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:23:04 PM): spraying it everywhere
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:23:22 PM): and we all look at castro as he yells: ROSCOOOO!!!
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:23:32 PM): ::cut to cute dog covered in icing::
thenewyear13 (10:23:37 PM): lol
thenewyear13 (10:23:43 PM): I went to the bathroom
thenewyear13 (10:23:47 PM): and came back to THAT
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:23:50 PM): and i was still talking?
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:23:51 PM): hahaha
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:24:33 PM): man you and i come up with the best stories
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:24:34 PM): seriously
thenewyear13 (10:28:21 PM): we're the best
R3SULTSMAYV4RY (10:28:26 PM): it's true
so there.