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Labor omnia vincit...(Locus desperatus)
Where are all the sample résumés that are suppose to make you feel good? Every single one is:
As an intern in college I perfected the Kaplan-Wilson Transubstantiation in which salt water is transformed into drinking water by the use of a paperclip, a coffee filter and a forgotten Latin verse from Titus Lucretius Carus ( Read more... ) -
You're the bomb sniffing dog now, résumé...(it's a little pitchy)
For example, you would not write:
”Prepared marketing material that resulted in 200% boost in sales.”
But rather:
“Exploded sales by 200% through preparation of targeted marketing material.”
I heard yer mom exploded last night.
But let's give it a shot.
Created a print driver database for client in which drivers were regularly updated and tested before ( Read more... ) -
See It Happened Like This...
I snorted, it wasn't a chuckle, it wasn't a laugh. It wasn't quite appropriate at the time and yet in hindsight ( Read more... ) -
Not a Pull, But a Stretch...
Shouldn't people be able to communicate with one and other without barriers or filters? Weren't miscommunications the underlying reason for most conflicts in the world? Murray believed so.
Like that time he had to attempt to catch up with his true love. She had found employment on the opposite coast from Murray. Unfortunately for him earlier in life ( Read more... ) -
Wouldn't it be Nice...
Not only nice. Not only numb. It'd be fantastic. Patterns are fabulous things. Because they're patterns, right? There's that logic to them. There's the predictability. Randomness for all we speak and praise of it, is completely fucking overrated ( Read more... ) -
In the Waiting...
Awkward. Awkward and lacking in energy. Or maybe it was excitement that was missing. Maybe it's the same thing. It's one of those joking thoughts that enters everyone's mind, "If I weren't related to this person / these people...would I even be here?" It's an unfair question because let's face it, there are a fuckton places/things you're not. You' ( Read more... ) -
Sometimes This Song Goes Fast...
You hang your pants and shirts on the TV to remind yourself that you can't really handle 30 minutes or an hour of TV on the road. Such thing normally turn into a two or more hours. Because it's easy. Too easy ( Read more... ) -
Seat 19E / Flight 164
And it seems like a betrayal. Of what exactly, well that involves investigating and who wants to get to the truth of the matter? Most people usually. My bad ( Read more... ) -
My momma was a test tube, my daddy was a knife...
There's a difference between depressing posts and depressing observations, which is of course a loaded opening that will not be lived down regardless of what follows. So why why write it? Because you have these fleeting thoughts that mean something for a split second and then furiously fade. Alliteration intentional ( Read more... )