so i've been home for a couple days now and havent done much. i'm going xmas shopping tomorrow by my lonesome and am determined to get it all done. being broke hinders the process a bit, but i'm pretty clever, so i think i can manage ( Read more... )

I'm glad that you're near
And I'm sad when you're here
This is what it's like to be me...

I don't see how this is possible and I don't like how just thinking about it exhausts me and consumes my mind so that I can't focus on anything else.

and then i'm the jerk..

i need to go home. where i don't feel so tired all the time and i don't feel like i have to be nice to people i don't even like.

i contemplated staying in new york. it just felt right to be wandering by myself. but that wouldn't have been a smart idea.

i come home in less than two days. california never sounded so good ( Read more... )

these are a little delayed. and a little taken by paige.

( Read more... )

things i learned last night ( Read more... )

i'm such an expert at pretending to date people. i had another pseudo date tonight. we saw the first snow of the season!!! it lasted only about 3 minutes, but it was so awesome. then we went to the top of the prudential building. slightly illegally, but i'm just that good. i have my ways of getting to the tops of buildings i'm not supposed to ( Read more... )

such a lack of excitement. well, it's there, but i just don't feel it. this has been my problem all my life. i'm just seriously always waiting for something more to happen. no matter how awesome things are. perhaps this is ridiculous because it just makes me disappointed with life. but i don't know. i really think i'm waiting for something ( Read more... )

"You have made me very proud as a father and you have really cool hair now."

so ended the best email i've ever gotten.

no fluid motions today. just empty words and thoughts. and nap taking. this past week has taken its toll on me. i hate being an asshole, but i really don't want to hear it... it's just not my (or your) place to care. all of you. work on getting your own issues straightened out first. on another note, i don't feel comfortable right now. i'm ( Read more... )