its two thirty fucking am and everything feels tense. does anyone notice how the sky hangs over our bobbling well-to-do heads? we're all onthevergeofsomething. or maybe i just have been for ages. i want to tell it to him like it is. and how exactly is it? i want true independence...but i also want a real relationship for the first time in my life ( Read more... )

time never slips away in this place.

i do not exactly want to join the debaucherous masses. i'd like to keep my face, thank you very much....and so what if you think i'm an elitist ass for doing so. i am done with this....

blank is pretty close to what i feel ( Read more... )

i slept the whole afternoon away. and now im thinking i just need to sleep this day off. i cant remember early august ever feeling good ( Read more... )

auf wiedersehen zu apathie und dekadenz.

die besten wünsche.

...jetzt für die verschwindende tat.

i want to live in a language and an art that you can't comprehend. and keep my thoughts like secrets in my bones.

i would like to create music unlike this strange, hellish planet.

i had a grand time last night. a group of us danced like mad for a few hours and later stephanie, elaine, taraka, michael, and i ventured to walmart...where we played hide and seek and attempted to ride the pony (but were kicked off.) i am glad i did not opt for the typical drunkenstumblingthroughdarkroomswithcupinhand. and i am quite glad i feel ( Read more... )

glued to old habits, reaching over old bones, old exhibitions of babble for whatever it was i wanted. i've begun thinking of the possibilities. there is so much in reach !!! i am tired of thinking of this coming fall as dismal. i want to suck everything out of whatcouldbe my last year in this town. i am thinking of quitting band, continuing german ( Read more... )

i've begun to feel like nothing but a bundle of exposed nerves. there's a certain stress in these early july mornings. the heat swells along with everything else and my hair's thinning and time's stopped knitting its cobwebs. i keep telling myself three weeks (to do more than i can possibly list) laughter crawls at the bottom of my stomach and ( Read more... )

there is no amalgamation between this skin and my frenzied, restless mind. i want to be displaced from this body. it is not me. i've had enough of insecurity...so i've cut my hair just as a "fuck you" to the ideal/standard of outward beauty. all i want out of this is my mind and i'll find peace somewherrre in its sweet, glorious chaos ( Read more... )

i could see her telling me that all of this might pass (she was always finding comfort in nothing. there was nothing to know, nothing to miss. this was the way she lost her face.) but i was always looking for news, looking for reasons for each one of my breaths, trying to shake nervous words off my lips, screaming and pulling my hair, running down ( Read more... )