Fanfic (kind of)
I read a story by liabrown the other day and I gave it a rave in the comments. Said that it was better than almost everything I'd written for the Super Hero Idol or Super Villain Idol contests on comixfan.com almost a year ago, with the possible exception of one particular piece I wrote.
I've been thinking about writing something but have been kind of lacking inspiration. So I thought "Hey, why don't I post what I wrote here?"
It turned out that I only had a rough draft of the story saved in a .rtf file, so if I wanted it as written I'd need to visit CXF again. This might have been problematic, as I got banned last year (it's a long story, but it was a whole ugly mess that got started when I had a conflict with a mod and snowballed. Any YABSters reading this have seen that sometimes I can get excessively angry, so that certainly didn't help matters). When I first got banned, I wasn't even able to view threads, so I wasn't sure if I was able to view the SVI thread in which my story had been originally posted.
Suprisingly, I was. And I might even have been able to post on the site again if I wanted to. Maybe I've done my time and I've earned a second chance. Still, though, I don't think I'm gonna be going back. Too many bad memories for one thing, and while there are people I like on that site, some of whom I miss, there are also rotten people I have no wish to see again.
Anyway, the point is that I was able to find my story, copy and paste it, and now I will reprint it here. I'm kind of going to be looking at it with fresh eyes too, since it's been a long time since I last read it, so I'll see whether my opinion of the quality has changed as I've aged.
Some background on why I was writing this, first. In this contest, everybody chose a villain to be in their stories. During each round, everybody was given a topic for the story they were to write: in this case, the story was supposed to focus on how your chosen villain dealt with or controlled her or his henchmen.
(This story takes place between issues #6 and 7 of Runaways, Volume One.)
Alex Wilder was walking around the Hostel, when he heard voices around a corner up ahead. Chase Stein and Karolina Dean or, as he guessed they now wanted to be called, Talkback and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
"It's not coming off!"
"I'm pulling as hard as I can, Chase!"
"Well, pull harder than that!"
"Okay..."
"OwwwwWWWW! Okay, stop pulling, stop pulling!"
"What's going on?" Alex asked as he turned the corner. Chase had a firm grip on the frame of a doorway with one of his hands. Karolina had a firm grip on the fire-spraying gauntlet, the "Fistigon", on his other hand. Apparently she had been trying to pull the Fistigon off.
"Hey bro," Chase said, as Karolina let go of his hand. "I need to take a piss like five minutes ago, so I wanna get these Fistigons off. I don't like stuff that shoots fire around my area, know what I mean? LSD, I'm desperate. Can you, like, laser 'em off?"
Karolina looked at him dubiously.
"Are you sure that's a good idea, Chase? There might be a fuel tank or something. What if I hit it by accident?"
"Right now I'll risk it! Oh frick, I gotta go so baaaad...."
He was hopping from foot to foot at this point. Chase was moron, but Alex couldn't help but pity him right now. He walked over.
"Let me see that," Alex said. He grabbed Chase's gauntlet, examined it for a moment, ignored Chase's annoyance at having Alex take ahold of him. Finding a small protrustion, Alex twisted it around and then pressed down on it. The Fistigon immediately fell off.
"There, all better."
Chase's annoyance evaporated, relief and visible gratitude all over his face.
"Oh God! Thanks SO much bro, I owe ya! Be right back!"
He dashed down the hall.
"Hey, you still got--"
But Chase was gone before Alex could finish his sentence. Then he and and Karolina were by themselves.
Neither one of them could think of anything to say right then. After a few more moments of awkward silence, Alex decided to just say what he was thinking.
"'Fistigons.' Is it just me, or is that a little dirty-sounding?"
"I don't know, Alex." Karolina had sat down, and was studying her hands. Alex could tell she was preoccupied with something.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"It's...um...it's complicated."
No it isn't. You just don't want to talk about it, Alex thought.
"Okay, Karolina, I won't pry," he said. "But you seem unhappy. Have you talked to Chase about it?"
At that moment, Chase Stein reappeared. He'd been running back down the hall and almost tripped over Karolina's outstretched legs, startling both of them and making Alex instinctively dodge out of the way.
"Alex, I still got this other Fistigon on my other hand!"
"Yeah, I know."
"Dude! Why didn't you tell me?!"
Alex sighed.
"Give it here."
Seconds later Chase had both hands free and was thanking Alex again over his shoulder as he ran off for the second time.
"I don't think Chase would be the best person to talk to about this, Alex."
"Probably not," Alex agreed. "Well, have you talked to anybody?"
"No..."
"You think it would help?"
"Well...Gert would think I was stupid, Molly's too young, and I'm scared to talk to Nico," Karolina answered.
"Really? I don't know, I think the whole goth look works pretty well for her. Doesn't scare me."
"It's not that, it's just...she wouldn't like hearing this. I don't want to get into an argument with her."
Alex sat down next to Karolina. He looked at the same spot on the opposite wall she seemed to be looking at.
"Luce, we've only got one another and the dinosaur for support. I don't know what to tell you...I mean, if you think you can deal with this on your own, it's up to you. Sometimes it's good to let things out, though."
"I want to go home," Karolina blurted out.
"What???" Alex's head snapped around, looking at the side of her face. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard.
"You see, this is just what I didn't want to get into. All of you hate your parents for what they did, and now that I've said that out loud you're thinking of me as some kind of traitor."
"No, no, a traitor wouldn't have admitted that," Alex said.
He was calmer now. It wasn't that he was outraged by Karolina's admission, just surprised. He should try to reassure her now.
"It's just...you caught me way off guard," he told her.
"The thing is, I don't see my mom and dad the same way all of you guys do. I mean, I saw that girl get killed and I saw a couple of people wearing masks there, but it's hard for me to really believe that it was my mom and dad underneath.
"I'm not an idiot; I know that it was them, even if I didn't see their faces. But part of me wants to believe that it wasn't really them, that it was a couple of strangers instead. I know my parents, or I thought I did! They're not like that! Even if it was them, they weren't the ones who killed her. They've always been great to me. I told them they were perfect before we left for your place that night. My dad was away when we went to get Molly; he never tried to hurt or kill any of us. I was angry at my mom for hiding my powers from me, but now..."
Karolina stood up and began pacing.
"Alex, we're living in a damn CAVE. Or a house stuck inside a cave, whatever. I learned that my parents have been keeping these secrets all my life. I wish I could go back to the way things used to be. I wish I could talk to them. I wish I could ask them why they did these things."
She stopped pacing. Looked at him.
"Stupid, huh?"
Wow, her and me aren't so different after all. Except she's conflicted. And her parents are plotting to murder mine, Alex thought.
As Alex was considering how to respond to Karolina, Chase came back.
"Oh man, that is SO much better. What are we talking about?" he asked.
Alex looked up at him.
"Chase, can you give us a couple minutes?"
"Why? What's up?
"You said you owed me, right?" Alex asked.
"Yeah..."
"Just give us some privacy. Then we're even."
"Oh..." Chase said.
Then comprehension seemed to dawn on his face.
"Ohhh!" he said, knowingly. It was all Alex could do to keep from rolling his eyes. "Yeah. You got it, brother."
"Good luck," Chase whispered as he passed Alex. Alex could tell from Karolina's face that she'd heard it.
He turned to her and smiled.
"There goes our high tech weapons specialist. Reassuring, huh?"
He paused to gather his thoughts, and then began talking again.
"Karolina, I think all of us are a little homesick. Well, okay, not Gert. But look at me: my own parents are framing me for murder! I don't want to go back to them after that, because I don't know what they're capable of any more. Sometimes, though, I wish I'd just wake up in my own bed and find out this was all a nightmare and nothing had changed. That's normal. You've got no reason to feel ashamed of that."
But I need you to help save my folks from your folks. I can't risk having you go back to them. So let's see if I can keep you here.
Alex rested his hand on his chin, as if he were considering things. It was just for show. For her benefit.
"You know them better than me," he said finally. "You could go back to them and the others if you think it's safe. I mean, I trust you not to rat us out or anything."
I didn't have to mention "the others." But I've got her thinking about "the others" now. I can tell from her face.
"Even...even if I could trust my parents...and I'm not even sure that I can..."
Karolina was audibly nervous.
"...what...what about your parents, Alex? It's the same as what you said. You know them better than me. What do you think they'd do?"
Alex did his best to look surprised at the question, as though he hadn't even considered it.
"You said you didn't know what they were capable of," she went on.
"Um....yeah, that's true...I really don't any more," he answered. He hoped he sounded as depressed as he was trying to.
Karolina's not stupid. Right now she's gotta be following that train of thought to its logical conclusion. She'll be thinking that if I can't vouch for my own parents, who I've known my whole life, that I have no way of knowing what any of the others are gonna do to her. Neither does she. If she cares about her parents, maybe she's even worried about what will happen to them if they try to protect her from the rest of the Pride.
"I just don't know, Karolina. I wish I could be more help. I'm sorry. Really."
She looked up at the ceiling. Then down at the floor. Let out a long sigh.
"Thanks anyway, Alex," she said.
Then she gave him a hug. That surprised him.
Then she walked away.
For a second, he felt guilty.
But he knew he'd get over it. He had before.
You know, I was worried that it might look bad in retrospect. But reading it today, I'm still proud of it. What does everybody else think?
EDIT: I'm still mastering how to use cuts and I apparently have a long way to go.
I've been thinking about writing something but have been kind of lacking inspiration. So I thought "Hey, why don't I post what I wrote here?"
It turned out that I only had a rough draft of the story saved in a .rtf file, so if I wanted it as written I'd need to visit CXF again. This might have been problematic, as I got banned last year (it's a long story, but it was a whole ugly mess that got started when I had a conflict with a mod and snowballed. Any YABSters reading this have seen that sometimes I can get excessively angry, so that certainly didn't help matters). When I first got banned, I wasn't even able to view threads, so I wasn't sure if I was able to view the SVI thread in which my story had been originally posted.
Suprisingly, I was. And I might even have been able to post on the site again if I wanted to. Maybe I've done my time and I've earned a second chance. Still, though, I don't think I'm gonna be going back. Too many bad memories for one thing, and while there are people I like on that site, some of whom I miss, there are also rotten people I have no wish to see again.
Anyway, the point is that I was able to find my story, copy and paste it, and now I will reprint it here. I'm kind of going to be looking at it with fresh eyes too, since it's been a long time since I last read it, so I'll see whether my opinion of the quality has changed as I've aged.
Some background on why I was writing this, first. In this contest, everybody chose a villain to be in their stories. During each round, everybody was given a topic for the story they were to write: in this case, the story was supposed to focus on how your chosen villain dealt with or controlled her or his henchmen.
(This story takes place between issues #6 and 7 of Runaways, Volume One.)
Alex Wilder was walking around the Hostel, when he heard voices around a corner up ahead. Chase Stein and Karolina Dean or, as he guessed they now wanted to be called, Talkback and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
"It's not coming off!"
"I'm pulling as hard as I can, Chase!"
"Well, pull harder than that!"
"Okay..."
"OwwwwWWWW! Okay, stop pulling, stop pulling!"
"What's going on?" Alex asked as he turned the corner. Chase had a firm grip on the frame of a doorway with one of his hands. Karolina had a firm grip on the fire-spraying gauntlet, the "Fistigon", on his other hand. Apparently she had been trying to pull the Fistigon off.
"Hey bro," Chase said, as Karolina let go of his hand. "I need to take a piss like five minutes ago, so I wanna get these Fistigons off. I don't like stuff that shoots fire around my area, know what I mean? LSD, I'm desperate. Can you, like, laser 'em off?"
Karolina looked at him dubiously.
"Are you sure that's a good idea, Chase? There might be a fuel tank or something. What if I hit it by accident?"
"Right now I'll risk it! Oh frick, I gotta go so baaaad...."
He was hopping from foot to foot at this point. Chase was moron, but Alex couldn't help but pity him right now. He walked over.
"Let me see that," Alex said. He grabbed Chase's gauntlet, examined it for a moment, ignored Chase's annoyance at having Alex take ahold of him. Finding a small protrustion, Alex twisted it around and then pressed down on it. The Fistigon immediately fell off.
"There, all better."
Chase's annoyance evaporated, relief and visible gratitude all over his face.
"Oh God! Thanks SO much bro, I owe ya! Be right back!"
He dashed down the hall.
"Hey, you still got--"
But Chase was gone before Alex could finish his sentence. Then he and and Karolina were by themselves.
Neither one of them could think of anything to say right then. After a few more moments of awkward silence, Alex decided to just say what he was thinking.
"'Fistigons.' Is it just me, or is that a little dirty-sounding?"
"I don't know, Alex." Karolina had sat down, and was studying her hands. Alex could tell she was preoccupied with something.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"It's...um...it's complicated."
No it isn't. You just don't want to talk about it, Alex thought.
"Okay, Karolina, I won't pry," he said. "But you seem unhappy. Have you talked to Chase about it?"
At that moment, Chase Stein reappeared. He'd been running back down the hall and almost tripped over Karolina's outstretched legs, startling both of them and making Alex instinctively dodge out of the way.
"Alex, I still got this other Fistigon on my other hand!"
"Yeah, I know."
"Dude! Why didn't you tell me?!"
Alex sighed.
"Give it here."
Seconds later Chase had both hands free and was thanking Alex again over his shoulder as he ran off for the second time.
"I don't think Chase would be the best person to talk to about this, Alex."
"Probably not," Alex agreed. "Well, have you talked to anybody?"
"No..."
"You think it would help?"
"Well...Gert would think I was stupid, Molly's too young, and I'm scared to talk to Nico," Karolina answered.
"Really? I don't know, I think the whole goth look works pretty well for her. Doesn't scare me."
"It's not that, it's just...she wouldn't like hearing this. I don't want to get into an argument with her."
Alex sat down next to Karolina. He looked at the same spot on the opposite wall she seemed to be looking at.
"Luce, we've only got one another and the dinosaur for support. I don't know what to tell you...I mean, if you think you can deal with this on your own, it's up to you. Sometimes it's good to let things out, though."
"I want to go home," Karolina blurted out.
"What???" Alex's head snapped around, looking at the side of her face. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard.
"You see, this is just what I didn't want to get into. All of you hate your parents for what they did, and now that I've said that out loud you're thinking of me as some kind of traitor."
"No, no, a traitor wouldn't have admitted that," Alex said.
He was calmer now. It wasn't that he was outraged by Karolina's admission, just surprised. He should try to reassure her now.
"It's just...you caught me way off guard," he told her.
"The thing is, I don't see my mom and dad the same way all of you guys do. I mean, I saw that girl get killed and I saw a couple of people wearing masks there, but it's hard for me to really believe that it was my mom and dad underneath.
"I'm not an idiot; I know that it was them, even if I didn't see their faces. But part of me wants to believe that it wasn't really them, that it was a couple of strangers instead. I know my parents, or I thought I did! They're not like that! Even if it was them, they weren't the ones who killed her. They've always been great to me. I told them they were perfect before we left for your place that night. My dad was away when we went to get Molly; he never tried to hurt or kill any of us. I was angry at my mom for hiding my powers from me, but now..."
Karolina stood up and began pacing.
"Alex, we're living in a damn CAVE. Or a house stuck inside a cave, whatever. I learned that my parents have been keeping these secrets all my life. I wish I could go back to the way things used to be. I wish I could talk to them. I wish I could ask them why they did these things."
She stopped pacing. Looked at him.
"Stupid, huh?"
Wow, her and me aren't so different after all. Except she's conflicted. And her parents are plotting to murder mine, Alex thought.
As Alex was considering how to respond to Karolina, Chase came back.
"Oh man, that is SO much better. What are we talking about?" he asked.
Alex looked up at him.
"Chase, can you give us a couple minutes?"
"Why? What's up?
"You said you owed me, right?" Alex asked.
"Yeah..."
"Just give us some privacy. Then we're even."
"Oh..." Chase said.
Then comprehension seemed to dawn on his face.
"Ohhh!" he said, knowingly. It was all Alex could do to keep from rolling his eyes. "Yeah. You got it, brother."
"Good luck," Chase whispered as he passed Alex. Alex could tell from Karolina's face that she'd heard it.
He turned to her and smiled.
"There goes our high tech weapons specialist. Reassuring, huh?"
He paused to gather his thoughts, and then began talking again.
"Karolina, I think all of us are a little homesick. Well, okay, not Gert. But look at me: my own parents are framing me for murder! I don't want to go back to them after that, because I don't know what they're capable of any more. Sometimes, though, I wish I'd just wake up in my own bed and find out this was all a nightmare and nothing had changed. That's normal. You've got no reason to feel ashamed of that."
But I need you to help save my folks from your folks. I can't risk having you go back to them. So let's see if I can keep you here.
Alex rested his hand on his chin, as if he were considering things. It was just for show. For her benefit.
"You know them better than me," he said finally. "You could go back to them and the others if you think it's safe. I mean, I trust you not to rat us out or anything."
I didn't have to mention "the others." But I've got her thinking about "the others" now. I can tell from her face.
"Even...even if I could trust my parents...and I'm not even sure that I can..."
Karolina was audibly nervous.
"...what...what about your parents, Alex? It's the same as what you said. You know them better than me. What do you think they'd do?"
Alex did his best to look surprised at the question, as though he hadn't even considered it.
"You said you didn't know what they were capable of," she went on.
"Um....yeah, that's true...I really don't any more," he answered. He hoped he sounded as depressed as he was trying to.
Karolina's not stupid. Right now she's gotta be following that train of thought to its logical conclusion. She'll be thinking that if I can't vouch for my own parents, who I've known my whole life, that I have no way of knowing what any of the others are gonna do to her. Neither does she. If she cares about her parents, maybe she's even worried about what will happen to them if they try to protect her from the rest of the Pride.
"I just don't know, Karolina. I wish I could be more help. I'm sorry. Really."
She looked up at the ceiling. Then down at the floor. Let out a long sigh.
"Thanks anyway, Alex," she said.
Then she gave him a hug. That surprised him.
Then she walked away.
For a second, he felt guilty.
But he knew he'd get over it. He had before.
You know, I was worried that it might look bad in retrospect. But reading it today, I'm still proud of it. What does everybody else think?
EDIT: I'm still mastering how to use cuts and I apparently have a long way to go.