2008
Last year, Rai, Julia and I made a few New Years resolutions about rock climbing -- I think it was a. to be climbing 5.10's by the end of the year and b. to go climbing twice a week. Which we more or less did, so I can feel good about that.
This is the first time I've ever seriously made New Year's resolutions, with the intention of keeping them, but I actually want to this year. None of these are things I haven't already begun doing and wouldn't do anyways, and I'm not doing them *because* they are my Resolutions, but I want to write them down so I can look back and see how they worked out.
1. Improve my relationship with my father. I have no illusions about him becoming my best friend and totally understanding and supporting me, but lately I've realized that we (me, mom and Becca) really do shut him out a lot and it's not fair. I've realized that if I didn't hate him, the things he does wouldn't bug me as much, and if I didn't get so angry about them, I wouldn't hate him as much. I understand that I can't change him, but I can change how I react to him and think of him. I can do my best to stop holding everything I'd like to change against him. I need to start treating him better, so I need to start stepping back and thinking about how I react to him. Practical steps include: Apologizing when I realize I've been a bitch to him, so I realize and remember both that I did it and that it was wrong. If he does something that I find genuinely frustrating, don't dwell on it. When I notice me and mom and Becca shutting him out and dissing him, try not to: defend him, ask myself if I would have a problem with either Mom or Becca doing the same thing, turn the conversation to something else. Try to actually talk to him. Listen to him. Answer his questions about my life (with real answers: "uh-huh" is not an answer). Explain the joke if he missed it. Most importantly, do my best not to take sides between him and mom. If I do take sides, be sure that it is because I genuinely agree with one and not the other, and don't take it on a personal level. Consciously or not, deliberately or not, Mom shuts him out a lot. I don't need to do the same thing. He doesn't shut her out, but I don't know if that's because he's just "a better person" or because he doesn't have the opportunity (if he tried, me and Becca would automatically side against him). So keep an eye out for that too, and don't fall for it.
Second (and possibly more difficult) goal: Do all this without turning against mom or Becca.
2. Keep rock climbing. Preferably twice a week, but (barring illness, injury or finals) at least once a week. Probably Friday. Aim for fun, challenging routes.
3. Help mom cook sometimes. Firstly because I want to learn how to cook, and also in the hopes that she'll make more interesting meals more often.
4. Finish holiday candy in a timely manner. Preferably within 1-2 months of said holiday. Because seriously, chocolate tastes way better before it goes stale.
5. Keep reading, drawing and writing. But do it because it's fun and I want to, not out of any obligations to others or need to preserve my self-identity. And if that doesn't work? Don't dwell on it. Do something else that makes me feel good and accomplished.
6. Be Happy. In as much as it is possible to choose to "be happy". Take classes I like and that interest me. Remember that whatever's going wrong, it's probably not the end of the world, and if it is then there's nothing I can do and I shouldn't worry about it anyways. Keep interacting with friends on at least a somewhat regular basis. Get enough sleep. Don't hate the world. Focus on and remember the good things, let the bad ones go. Don't hurt myself, obviously, but as the past several years have shown, some of that is inevitable. The more important thing is: try not to want to hurt myself.
Also, I'm challenging myself to make 50 completed drawings over the course of the next month, in the fashion of NaNoWriMo (aiming for 2 a day, so ideally 62, but 50 is the real goal). Because a picture is worth 1,000 words. I'd have done this during November, but that's NaNoWriMo and I don't want this to conflict. I was thinking of doing NaNo counting illustrations as 1k words, but their validator thing wouldn't recognize it and that would be sad (I could always cut and paste 1,000 random words per illustration, but that would feel like cheating). I'm not 100% sure how or if this will work or what all the rules are, but I want to try it. I may count words (stories accompanying pictures), or I may not. Most likely, I will not write anything worth including and won't have to decide. Ideally, the pictures (and possibly words) will form an overarching whole of some sort, held together by a common story or character(s) or world, making a stronger case for counting words, but it's unlikely that they all will be.
Pictures may or may not be posted anywhere, but if they are, there will be a link in my LJ.
This is the first time I've ever seriously made New Year's resolutions, with the intention of keeping them, but I actually want to this year. None of these are things I haven't already begun doing and wouldn't do anyways, and I'm not doing them *because* they are my Resolutions, but I want to write them down so I can look back and see how they worked out.
1. Improve my relationship with my father. I have no illusions about him becoming my best friend and totally understanding and supporting me, but lately I've realized that we (me, mom and Becca) really do shut him out a lot and it's not fair. I've realized that if I didn't hate him, the things he does wouldn't bug me as much, and if I didn't get so angry about them, I wouldn't hate him as much. I understand that I can't change him, but I can change how I react to him and think of him. I can do my best to stop holding everything I'd like to change against him. I need to start treating him better, so I need to start stepping back and thinking about how I react to him. Practical steps include: Apologizing when I realize I've been a bitch to him, so I realize and remember both that I did it and that it was wrong. If he does something that I find genuinely frustrating, don't dwell on it. When I notice me and mom and Becca shutting him out and dissing him, try not to: defend him, ask myself if I would have a problem with either Mom or Becca doing the same thing, turn the conversation to something else. Try to actually talk to him. Listen to him. Answer his questions about my life (with real answers: "uh-huh" is not an answer). Explain the joke if he missed it. Most importantly, do my best not to take sides between him and mom. If I do take sides, be sure that it is because I genuinely agree with one and not the other, and don't take it on a personal level. Consciously or not, deliberately or not, Mom shuts him out a lot. I don't need to do the same thing. He doesn't shut her out, but I don't know if that's because he's just "a better person" or because he doesn't have the opportunity (if he tried, me and Becca would automatically side against him). So keep an eye out for that too, and don't fall for it.
Second (and possibly more difficult) goal: Do all this without turning against mom or Becca.
2. Keep rock climbing. Preferably twice a week, but (barring illness, injury or finals) at least once a week. Probably Friday. Aim for fun, challenging routes.
3. Help mom cook sometimes. Firstly because I want to learn how to cook, and also in the hopes that she'll make more interesting meals more often.
4. Finish holiday candy in a timely manner. Preferably within 1-2 months of said holiday. Because seriously, chocolate tastes way better before it goes stale.
5. Keep reading, drawing and writing. But do it because it's fun and I want to, not out of any obligations to others or need to preserve my self-identity. And if that doesn't work? Don't dwell on it. Do something else that makes me feel good and accomplished.
6. Be Happy. In as much as it is possible to choose to "be happy". Take classes I like and that interest me. Remember that whatever's going wrong, it's probably not the end of the world, and if it is then there's nothing I can do and I shouldn't worry about it anyways. Keep interacting with friends on at least a somewhat regular basis. Get enough sleep. Don't hate the world. Focus on and remember the good things, let the bad ones go. Don't hurt myself, obviously, but as the past several years have shown, some of that is inevitable. The more important thing is: try not to want to hurt myself.
Also, I'm challenging myself to make 50 completed drawings over the course of the next month, in the fashion of NaNoWriMo (aiming for 2 a day, so ideally 62, but 50 is the real goal). Because a picture is worth 1,000 words. I'd have done this during November, but that's NaNoWriMo and I don't want this to conflict. I was thinking of doing NaNo counting illustrations as 1k words, but their validator thing wouldn't recognize it and that would be sad (I could always cut and paste 1,000 random words per illustration, but that would feel like cheating). I'm not 100% sure how or if this will work or what all the rules are, but I want to try it. I may count words (stories accompanying pictures), or I may not. Most likely, I will not write anything worth including and won't have to decide. Ideally, the pictures (and possibly words) will form an overarching whole of some sort, held together by a common story or character(s) or world, making a stronger case for counting words, but it's unlikely that they all will be.
Pictures may or may not be posted anywhere, but if they are, there will be a link in my LJ.