SG-1 fic -- Blarney Stone
I realize I am about the only person on the planet who ships Cam/Vala, but here is some fluffy, fluffy Cam/Vala fic set during season 4 of Atlantis, when Sam is in Atlantis and SG-1 is carrying on!
A strange artifact has strange powers....
General Landry looked down the conference table with a feeling akin to disbelief. "You're back?"
Colonel Cameron Mitchell looked very pleased with himself. "Yes, sir," he said, dropping a little round rock in the middle of the table. "In a little over an hour. With nobody injured, disappeared, acting strangely, or turned into a cloud of mist. With exactly the thing we went to get."
Landry looked at the little white rock doubtfully. "That's the thing the Annai are hinging a peace treaty on? It looks like a rock."
Daniel Jackson cleared his throat. "The Annai believe that it has special powers."
Ok, that was more like their usual disasters. He glanced at Teal'c, sitting impassively to his right. "That so?"
"I cannot vouch for whether or not it is true, but it is the case that the Annai believe that this stone has properties," Teal'c said. "It was part of their royal coronation regalia until it was stolen. They will be grateful for its return."
A little round white river pebble. "It looks like a rock," Landry said.
Jackson cleared his throat. "The Annai believe that when their god Eammon, er, spilled his seed upon the ground it hardened into stones. Each of these stones gives a man the strength of ten and makes him irresistible to women."
Landry blinked. "They think that little rock is an incredible aphrodisiac?"
"Pretty much," Jackson said with a shrug.
Landry blinked again. "It's just a little rock. What are the Annai going to say if it doesn't work?"
Vala leaned forward with her hands beneath her chin. "We're just going to have to try it, aren't we? One of you gentlemen…."
There was a palpable frisson of terror around the table, Landry thought.
"I do not believe that is necessary," Teal'c said. Landry thought the corner of his mouth twitched as though he were suppressing a smile.
"I agree with Teal'c," Landry said. "I'll lock it up until the Annai arrive and then we'll hand it over."
"I have a better idea," Vala said, and she tossed an identical stone onto the table with the air of someone making a winning craps roll. "Why don't we keep the special one and give the Annai one just like it? Nobody will be able to tell the difference, and then we'll have an incredibly valuable…."
"Vala," Mitchell said.
She rolled her eyes. "You are such a spoilsport."
Landry hadn't taken his eyes off the real one. "I'm going to lock this up. And since you're back in good time with everything taken care of, you can all stand down and get some R & R." He scooped the little rock up. Nothing happened. No strange sensations, no…. Good. "Well done, SG-1."
Vala caught up with Daniel at the elevator. "Wait," she said dramatically, stopping the elevator from closing with one hand. Teal'c, who had been talking to Daniel, stood with his fingers hovering over the buttons. "What are you doing tonight?"
"Going out," Daniel said shortly.
"Out where?"
"Out," Daniel said. "Good night."
Teal'c was almost smirking. "I too have plans for the evening. That do not include blarney."
"Who asked you?" Vala said.
Teal'c's smirk broadened, and he inclined his head. "Good luck," he said. Oh he had her number in the most infuriating way! "May I suggest you turn around?"
She spun around to see Cam strolling up the hall with his hands in his pockets.
"What's up?" he asked.
"I was just…." The elevator doors closed behind her, Teal'c having surprised her into moving her hand. He was grinning as they shut.
"Staying on base tonight?" Cam asked. He looked so innocent. Such a lamb to the slaughter.
"Cameron," she said urgently, her voice low as she drew him close to listen. "I've done a terrible thing and I have no idea how to fix it."
"Ok." He frowned. "Tell me about it and we'll figure it out."
Vala opened her hand to show the small white rock. "I switched them," she said, dropping it into his palm. "I thought…. Well, never mind what I thought, but I switched the rocks. This is the real one and Landry's got the other one. And now I have no idea how to get them switched back before the Annai arrive."
"And they'll probably know if they've got a fake," Cam said. His blue eyes held a hint of amusement. "When they don't all suddenly have the strength of ten men and all that."
"Exactly, darling. You would think the effects would be fairly noticeable."
"Pretty much," Cam said. "You'd think they'd know."
"I'm sure they would." He wasn't looking away from her face, not for an instant. Why did she so rarely consider what a pretty shade of blue his eyes were? Or the little amused crinkles around the corners of them?
"Landry's probably put it in the safe," he said.
"Put what in the safe?"
"The real stone."
"Oh yes of course." And there was that twist at the corner of his lips, one side that lifted just a little higher than the other when he smiled.
"I don't know the combination. And safecracking's not my thing."
"No, it wouldn't be."
"So probably the best thing is to hang onto it and switch them back tomorrow when the Annai get here." They were standing very, very close together. Even for whispering.
"I can certainly switch them back."
"Yes." So close. Much too close for the corridor beside the elevator.
"Tomorrow," she said. "I suppose you're a responsible person to hold onto it until then."
"I'm very responsible." Close enough to see the pulse jumping at his throat above his open collar, right in that little hollow that was so kissable….
"You are."
"Are what?"
"Very responsible."
"Oh." How had she managed to get her hand against his hip? Such a nice hip. It was a pity he wore pants.
"It definitely works."
"Does it?"
"Absolutely." He looked breathless. Or maybe that was because she was rubbing his hip. If she could just get her hand inside his waistband….
"Not in the hall by the elevator," Cam said, disentangling momentarily. "Elevator. Doors. Landry." He seemed able to find a few nouns devoid of verbs.
"I have this lovely room just around the corner."
"That's lucky," Cam said.
She grabbed his hand and drew him along swiftly, around the corner and down the hall. "Strength of ten?"
"At least five," he said as she opened the door.
"And irresistible to women," she said, letting it close behind them and locking it. It took about two seconds for her arms to be around him. He smelled wonderful, like laundry and bacon and all sorts of nice things that were him. Oh, and that kiss….
She didn't come up for air until she was trying to get his shirt off. "You'd better have the strength of at least five, darling. I could go all night."
Sometime quite a remarkably long time later she sat up in bed eating peanut butter on chocolate chip cookies while he sprawled bonelessly among the pillows. "Peanut butter?"
Cam rolled over. "No, but I'll have some cookies."
She handed him the box cheerfully. "I'm all out of twinkies."
"Cookies are good."
She laughed, leaning back against him, his arm behind her and licked the peanut butter off her fingers. There was something under her leg, and she pulled out the little white rock.
"Well," Cam said, eyeing it.
"I suppose we'll have to switch them back tomorrow," Vala said. "It's tragic."
He took another bite of cookie and chewed thoughtfully. "Not really," he said. "Since that's the fake one."
There was a long pause and she burst out laughing, bouncing him back in the pillows and coming to rest on his chest. "You were playing along the entire time? No strange sensations and strength of ten?"
"Not more than the usual strange sensations when you're around." He kissed the peanut butter off her mouth. "And besides, irresistible to women?"
"I can never resist you, darling. Besides, no one else is half as much fun."
He was grinning as he held up the stone. "Well, now I know the truth. You only love me for my rocks."
A strange artifact has strange powers....
General Landry looked down the conference table with a feeling akin to disbelief. "You're back?"
Colonel Cameron Mitchell looked very pleased with himself. "Yes, sir," he said, dropping a little round rock in the middle of the table. "In a little over an hour. With nobody injured, disappeared, acting strangely, or turned into a cloud of mist. With exactly the thing we went to get."
Landry looked at the little white rock doubtfully. "That's the thing the Annai are hinging a peace treaty on? It looks like a rock."
Daniel Jackson cleared his throat. "The Annai believe that it has special powers."
Ok, that was more like their usual disasters. He glanced at Teal'c, sitting impassively to his right. "That so?"
"I cannot vouch for whether or not it is true, but it is the case that the Annai believe that this stone has properties," Teal'c said. "It was part of their royal coronation regalia until it was stolen. They will be grateful for its return."
A little round white river pebble. "It looks like a rock," Landry said.
Jackson cleared his throat. "The Annai believe that when their god Eammon, er, spilled his seed upon the ground it hardened into stones. Each of these stones gives a man the strength of ten and makes him irresistible to women."
Landry blinked. "They think that little rock is an incredible aphrodisiac?"
"Pretty much," Jackson said with a shrug.
Landry blinked again. "It's just a little rock. What are the Annai going to say if it doesn't work?"
Vala leaned forward with her hands beneath her chin. "We're just going to have to try it, aren't we? One of you gentlemen…."
There was a palpable frisson of terror around the table, Landry thought.
"I do not believe that is necessary," Teal'c said. Landry thought the corner of his mouth twitched as though he were suppressing a smile.
"I agree with Teal'c," Landry said. "I'll lock it up until the Annai arrive and then we'll hand it over."
"I have a better idea," Vala said, and she tossed an identical stone onto the table with the air of someone making a winning craps roll. "Why don't we keep the special one and give the Annai one just like it? Nobody will be able to tell the difference, and then we'll have an incredibly valuable…."
"Vala," Mitchell said.
She rolled her eyes. "You are such a spoilsport."
Landry hadn't taken his eyes off the real one. "I'm going to lock this up. And since you're back in good time with everything taken care of, you can all stand down and get some R & R." He scooped the little rock up. Nothing happened. No strange sensations, no…. Good. "Well done, SG-1."
Vala caught up with Daniel at the elevator. "Wait," she said dramatically, stopping the elevator from closing with one hand. Teal'c, who had been talking to Daniel, stood with his fingers hovering over the buttons. "What are you doing tonight?"
"Going out," Daniel said shortly.
"Out where?"
"Out," Daniel said. "Good night."
Teal'c was almost smirking. "I too have plans for the evening. That do not include blarney."
"Who asked you?" Vala said.
Teal'c's smirk broadened, and he inclined his head. "Good luck," he said. Oh he had her number in the most infuriating way! "May I suggest you turn around?"
She spun around to see Cam strolling up the hall with his hands in his pockets.
"What's up?" he asked.
"I was just…." The elevator doors closed behind her, Teal'c having surprised her into moving her hand. He was grinning as they shut.
"Staying on base tonight?" Cam asked. He looked so innocent. Such a lamb to the slaughter.
"Cameron," she said urgently, her voice low as she drew him close to listen. "I've done a terrible thing and I have no idea how to fix it."
"Ok." He frowned. "Tell me about it and we'll figure it out."
Vala opened her hand to show the small white rock. "I switched them," she said, dropping it into his palm. "I thought…. Well, never mind what I thought, but I switched the rocks. This is the real one and Landry's got the other one. And now I have no idea how to get them switched back before the Annai arrive."
"And they'll probably know if they've got a fake," Cam said. His blue eyes held a hint of amusement. "When they don't all suddenly have the strength of ten men and all that."
"Exactly, darling. You would think the effects would be fairly noticeable."
"Pretty much," Cam said. "You'd think they'd know."
"I'm sure they would." He wasn't looking away from her face, not for an instant. Why did she so rarely consider what a pretty shade of blue his eyes were? Or the little amused crinkles around the corners of them?
"Landry's probably put it in the safe," he said.
"Put what in the safe?"
"The real stone."
"Oh yes of course." And there was that twist at the corner of his lips, one side that lifted just a little higher than the other when he smiled.
"I don't know the combination. And safecracking's not my thing."
"No, it wouldn't be."
"So probably the best thing is to hang onto it and switch them back tomorrow when the Annai get here." They were standing very, very close together. Even for whispering.
"I can certainly switch them back."
"Yes." So close. Much too close for the corridor beside the elevator.
"Tomorrow," she said. "I suppose you're a responsible person to hold onto it until then."
"I'm very responsible." Close enough to see the pulse jumping at his throat above his open collar, right in that little hollow that was so kissable….
"You are."
"Are what?"
"Very responsible."
"Oh." How had she managed to get her hand against his hip? Such a nice hip. It was a pity he wore pants.
"It definitely works."
"Does it?"
"Absolutely." He looked breathless. Or maybe that was because she was rubbing his hip. If she could just get her hand inside his waistband….
"Not in the hall by the elevator," Cam said, disentangling momentarily. "Elevator. Doors. Landry." He seemed able to find a few nouns devoid of verbs.
"I have this lovely room just around the corner."
"That's lucky," Cam said.
She grabbed his hand and drew him along swiftly, around the corner and down the hall. "Strength of ten?"
"At least five," he said as she opened the door.
"And irresistible to women," she said, letting it close behind them and locking it. It took about two seconds for her arms to be around him. He smelled wonderful, like laundry and bacon and all sorts of nice things that were him. Oh, and that kiss….
She didn't come up for air until she was trying to get his shirt off. "You'd better have the strength of at least five, darling. I could go all night."
Sometime quite a remarkably long time later she sat up in bed eating peanut butter on chocolate chip cookies while he sprawled bonelessly among the pillows. "Peanut butter?"
Cam rolled over. "No, but I'll have some cookies."
She handed him the box cheerfully. "I'm all out of twinkies."
"Cookies are good."
She laughed, leaning back against him, his arm behind her and licked the peanut butter off her fingers. There was something under her leg, and she pulled out the little white rock.
"Well," Cam said, eyeing it.
"I suppose we'll have to switch them back tomorrow," Vala said. "It's tragic."
He took another bite of cookie and chewed thoughtfully. "Not really," he said. "Since that's the fake one."
There was a long pause and she burst out laughing, bouncing him back in the pillows and coming to rest on his chest. "You were playing along the entire time? No strange sensations and strength of ten?"
"Not more than the usual strange sensations when you're around." He kissed the peanut butter off her mouth. "And besides, irresistible to women?"
"I can never resist you, darling. Besides, no one else is half as much fun."
He was grinning as he held up the stone. "Well, now I know the truth. You only love me for my rocks."