(no subject)
Sally, trying to persuade Isaac (10 years old) to do something: I’m trying to appeal to your better nature.
Isaac: I don’t have one.
Undergrad (Tiffany): I ran fastly up the hill!
Ashley: “Fastly!” And you call yourself a linguistics student!
Tiffany: I don’t believe in prescriptive grammar, only descriptive!
Ashley: *offers high five*
*playing "taboo". Emily had the word "rainbow."
Emily: Somewhere over the…
David: Dinosaur!
Priya, looking thru her book while writing an essay on it: Okay, where is the sex scene…
Ashley: You’re back!
Jeff: Yeah. I had to drive back to grade papers.
Ashley: Oh man, that sucks.
Jeff: Yeah. And on the way up, I got stuck in traffic because a cow truck wrecked. It looked like 'Apocalypse Now.'
Ashley: No, more like 'Apocalypse COW'! …Sorry.
Mary Brett: you just had to do the pun, didn’t you?
Ashley: Yeah you know, when a cow pun comes along, you just gotta grab it by the horns.
Ashley is standing in the kitchen surreptitiously snacking on chips straight out of the bag at 4:30 in the afternoon.
Mom, walking in: I am about to start supper. And you’re going to sit down at the table and say, “I’m not hungry!”
Ashley: …I’m just having a few chips!
Mom: I see that. I’m just having a few objections.
*Jess and I are complaining about how awful chiggers are*
Tommy, chants: The terrible thing about chiggers is…
Brady: How many cats do you HAVE now??
Chris: That depends on how you define “have”.
Brady: Well, I guess that’s better than depending on how you define “cats”…
Brandy: I’m not a stalker! I’m a professional friend from a distance.
Chris, in annoyed tone: You got icing on my coupon. …Now I’m gonna have to eat it.
Mom complains that I didn’t finish setting the table:
Ashley: Lo siento. Je me regrette. I don’t know how to say “i’m sorry” in German.
Dad: “Oopsie”.
Mom has a massive coughing fit. When she finishes:
Ashley: Are you lungs still there?
Mom: Pats down her chest: yep.
Ashley: Those are your boobs.
Chris: There’s kind of a difference.
Chris: One of my classmates had a lung transplant.
Ashley: Really? What happened to them??
Chris: They took the lung out and put a new one in.
Ashley: *facepalm*
Ashley: The creepiest death of of a Disney villain is the voodoo witch doctor in 'The Princess and the Frog'. He can’t pay his debts to the spirits and they TAKE HIM.
Dad: You mean they REPOSSESS HIM?
Trisha: Here are all the languages the Roomba can talk in: English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Polish, Russian, Portuguese, Japanese, Korean, and Chinese.
Ashley: I think “Finnish” should be at the end.
Mom gets the cat out of the chair so she can sit down. She pets him and he purrs.
Mom: Cats are very forgiving.
Ashley: And then one night they barf in your shoe.
Mom: Well, there is that.
*Jess and Trish are talking to Grandma Vivian about how they enjoy reading the bizarre stuff she says to people on facebook.*
Jess: Like the time you commented on a picture of Alyssa holding a garden gnome, and you told her that garden gnomes contained lead and she shouldn't touch it or she'd become infertile.
Vivian: I said that?
Jess and Trish: Yes.
Vivian: Boy, that’s pretty stupid.
*discussion of how cleaning out litter boxes can cause depression because of the T. gondii in the cat poop
Jess: It’s probably not the cat litter, it’s the girls scooping it going, *wails* "I hate my life! I want a boyfriend!"
Ketra mentions that her little brother Ty (I think he's about 10) is allergic to shellfish.
Ty: We don't know that for sure! It might be the medication!
Ashley: He still holds out hope.
Ty: Yes. And if it IS an allergy, I’m going to hunt down and kill everybody who CAN eat shellfish. I’ll become an assassin, and I will be called Dark Thunder.
Jess: I need to cut my toenails. …And we are officially out of topics.
Jess: If you’re eating blueberry pie, don’t sit next to me.
Ash: What, don’t you like the smell of blueberries?
Jess: No!
Ash: I will eat it and then breathe it in your face.
Jess: *grinning* You’re a true friend.
Liz, who works at a college in the middle of nowhere, trying on a sexy top: I can’t wear this to work, so why buy it? ...I can wear it to Barnes and Noble!
Sue: Yes! Clubbing at Barnes and Noble!
Susan, summarizing “Mean Girls”: There’s a girl who goes into a high school-she’s like us, she a great girl that you just love…
Susan, sticking her head in the door: Ashley, why are owls considered so smart?
Ash: Because owls are associated-
Susan, turning around: Derek, c’mere!
*Derek sticks his head in the door*
Ash: Owls are associated with Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war. They’re her symbol. So since she stands for wisdom, owls are considered wise.
Susan, to Derek: See, I KNEW she’d know the answer! We should just ask Ashley everything.
(I still don't know what they were discussing that led to this question...)
Isaac: I don’t have one.
Undergrad (Tiffany): I ran fastly up the hill!
Ashley: “Fastly!” And you call yourself a linguistics student!
Tiffany: I don’t believe in prescriptive grammar, only descriptive!
Ashley: *offers high five*
*playing "taboo". Emily had the word "rainbow."
Emily: Somewhere over the…
David: Dinosaur!
Priya, looking thru her book while writing an essay on it: Okay, where is the sex scene…
Ashley: You’re back!
Jeff: Yeah. I had to drive back to grade papers.
Ashley: Oh man, that sucks.
Jeff: Yeah. And on the way up, I got stuck in traffic because a cow truck wrecked. It looked like 'Apocalypse Now.'
Ashley: No, more like 'Apocalypse COW'! …Sorry.
Mary Brett: you just had to do the pun, didn’t you?
Ashley: Yeah you know, when a cow pun comes along, you just gotta grab it by the horns.
Ashley is standing in the kitchen surreptitiously snacking on chips straight out of the bag at 4:30 in the afternoon.
Mom, walking in: I am about to start supper. And you’re going to sit down at the table and say, “I’m not hungry!”
Ashley: …I’m just having a few chips!
Mom: I see that. I’m just having a few objections.
*Jess and I are complaining about how awful chiggers are*
Tommy, chants: The terrible thing about chiggers is…
Brady: How many cats do you HAVE now??
Chris: That depends on how you define “have”.
Brady: Well, I guess that’s better than depending on how you define “cats”…
Brandy: I’m not a stalker! I’m a professional friend from a distance.
Chris, in annoyed tone: You got icing on my coupon. …Now I’m gonna have to eat it.
Mom complains that I didn’t finish setting the table:
Ashley: Lo siento. Je me regrette. I don’t know how to say “i’m sorry” in German.
Dad: “Oopsie”.
Mom has a massive coughing fit. When she finishes:
Ashley: Are you lungs still there?
Mom: Pats down her chest: yep.
Ashley: Those are your boobs.
Chris: There’s kind of a difference.
Chris: One of my classmates had a lung transplant.
Ashley: Really? What happened to them??
Chris: They took the lung out and put a new one in.
Ashley: *facepalm*
Ashley: The creepiest death of of a Disney villain is the voodoo witch doctor in 'The Princess and the Frog'. He can’t pay his debts to the spirits and they TAKE HIM.
Dad: You mean they REPOSSESS HIM?
Trisha: Here are all the languages the Roomba can talk in: English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Polish, Russian, Portuguese, Japanese, Korean, and Chinese.
Ashley: I think “Finnish” should be at the end.
Mom gets the cat out of the chair so she can sit down. She pets him and he purrs.
Mom: Cats are very forgiving.
Ashley: And then one night they barf in your shoe.
Mom: Well, there is that.
*Jess and Trish are talking to Grandma Vivian about how they enjoy reading the bizarre stuff she says to people on facebook.*
Jess: Like the time you commented on a picture of Alyssa holding a garden gnome, and you told her that garden gnomes contained lead and she shouldn't touch it or she'd become infertile.
Vivian: I said that?
Jess and Trish: Yes.
Vivian: Boy, that’s pretty stupid.
*discussion of how cleaning out litter boxes can cause depression because of the T. gondii in the cat poop
Jess: It’s probably not the cat litter, it’s the girls scooping it going, *wails* "I hate my life! I want a boyfriend!"
Ketra mentions that her little brother Ty (I think he's about 10) is allergic to shellfish.
Ty: We don't know that for sure! It might be the medication!
Ashley: He still holds out hope.
Ty: Yes. And if it IS an allergy, I’m going to hunt down and kill everybody who CAN eat shellfish. I’ll become an assassin, and I will be called Dark Thunder.
Jess: I need to cut my toenails. …And we are officially out of topics.
Jess: If you’re eating blueberry pie, don’t sit next to me.
Ash: What, don’t you like the smell of blueberries?
Jess: No!
Ash: I will eat it and then breathe it in your face.
Jess: *grinning* You’re a true friend.
Liz, who works at a college in the middle of nowhere, trying on a sexy top: I can’t wear this to work, so why buy it? ...I can wear it to Barnes and Noble!
Sue: Yes! Clubbing at Barnes and Noble!
Susan, summarizing “Mean Girls”: There’s a girl who goes into a high school-she’s like us, she a great girl that you just love…
Susan, sticking her head in the door: Ashley, why are owls considered so smart?
Ash: Because owls are associated-
Susan, turning around: Derek, c’mere!
*Derek sticks his head in the door*
Ash: Owls are associated with Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war. They’re her symbol. So since she stands for wisdom, owls are considered wise.
Susan, to Derek: See, I KNEW she’d know the answer! We should just ask Ashley everything.
(I still don't know what they were discussing that led to this question...)