DN Fanfiction: Trinary (2/3)
Title: Trinary - Part 2/3
Rating: M
Pairing: Raito/Matsuda/L. In that order.
Word count: 15,535. This is not a short oneshot fic.
Warnings: none
A/N: Commissioned by and written for jessieheart. Enjoy! :D
Part 1
Ohh... my head...
Matsuda groaned, clutching at his head in pain. It hurt. It hurt a lot.
The lights were back on, bright and piercing into his skull. He felt sore all over, as if he'd had a horrible night's sleep, and there was a sharp pain in his lip, as if he'd split it open. Groaning, Matsuda rolled over, pulling up arm up to shield his eyes with his sleeve. The chain tinkled slightly as Matsuda shifted his arm, hiding his eyes from the light.
Wait. Chain?
Very slowly, Matsuda opened his eyes and sat up.
Blinking a few times to readjust, he looked around, seeing L sprawled on the floor nearby, gingerly getting to his feet. His eye was still a deep purple, his hair a mess, but Matsuda watched in astonishment as L stood up straight, stretching slightly.
“What happened?”
Matsuda jerked sharply to his right, only to see himself clambering up off the ground. He watched in horror as the other-him cracked his neck slightly, before touching his eye carefully, unsure.
Matsuda looked down at himself. Blue suit had morphed into a striped shirt and khakis, and there was a silver cuff around his right wrist. Shocked, Matsuda shook his hair, gasping when golden-brown strands fell in front of his eyes.
“Oh my god!! We've all switched bodies!!”
Other-Matsuda looked over at him, raising a skeptical eyebrow, but Matsuda was watching L, who was trying to hide a smirk and failing.
“Don't be ridiculous,” other-Matsuda said. “How could we possibly have-”
“I don't know, but ask Raito!” Matsuda said. “Ah, not me, I'm not Raito, I'm Matsuda! And - you're Ryuuzaki, ne? But you look like me- but look at Raito! He's the one that looks like you!”
Eyes widening, other-Matsuda (L, Matsuda mentally corrected himself, the other him was L) turned to look at the other-L in astonishment, shrinking back when the other-L let an alien smirk spread over his face.
“Nicely done, Matsuda,” the other-L said, brushing off his clothes airily. “I'm surprised you figured it out so fast.”
“Raito-kun!” Matsuda exclaimed. The L jerked his head up, eyes narrowing.
“What?” he said shortly, and Matsuda swallowed.
“What have you done to us?”
Matsuda turned to look at L, who was standing slightly off-center, his hands clenched in rage. Raito shrugged casually, a gesture that looked distinctly unnatural on L.
“I switched our bodies,” Raito said easily. “Couldn't you figure that out?”
Matsuda gaped, astonished, while L's eyes darkened.
“Why?” he said quietly, his tone low and dangerous. Matsuda blinked, thinking that asking how would have made a bit more sense.
“I wanted to teach you a lesson,” Raito informed him. “I wanted out from under your watch for a bit. I figured if I was you, I could take the key, unlock the cuffs, and no one would suspect anything, really. I'm a good actor. And you'd have to keep quiet, or everyone would think that poor Raito-kun had finally lost it from all the stress...”
He stopped, shooting Matsuda a dark look before continuing.
“It wasn't supposed to affect all three of us.”
Matsuda rubbed his head sheepishly, unsure if he should apologize or glare back at Raito. Raito stared and then sighed, shivering slightly.
“That looks so wrong on my body...”
L moved over to the fallen chairs, picking up the extinguished birthday candle, looking at it curiously. He glanced at Raito.
“This was the indicator that the switch has been successful?” he asked quietly. “When the flame went out?”
L's lips tightened, and Raito looked down L's nose at L.
“Apparently.”
Matsuda shook his head, whimpering.
“This is ridiculous,” he murmured, clutching his head. “Magic isn't real. Magic isn't real-”
“Matsuda, get a hold of yourself,” L said sharply. Matsuda looked up quickly, stunned to see himself (well, L, really) take charge so quickly.
“We are living in strange and dangerous times,” he said, his tone low. “When someone can kill people thousands of miles away by heart attack and disobey all known rules of the world, something as simple magic should not be such a mental stretch to make.” He fixed his eyes on Raito, who lounged against a nearby wall, one eyebrow raised. “The only question should be how to reverse such a thing.”
Raito buffed his nails lightly against his white sweater, looking at them idly.
“No,” he said.
L raised an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”
“I said no,” Raito said again, turning to look at him. “I'm sick to death of you bossing me around, and I'm going to take this chance. I'm going to lead the investigation, and I'm going to be rid of you.”
“But Raito-” Matsuda objected. “Surely everyone will notice! And you can't just think that Ryuuzaki will really-”
“Forget Ryuuzaki,” Raito said nastily. “Poor Ryuuzaki's been controlling me since say one in this hellhole. It's about time I got to be in control.”
L looked struck, his eyes wide, and Matsuda tried again.
“Don't be ridiculous!” he said. “Ryuuzaki's been on your side! He came up with this as a way for you to participate and help catch Kira! So you could eventually prove your freedom! He's not trying to make you upset!”
“Bugger good intentions!” Raito snapped. “Staying awake in bed until three am every night and sleeping with his eyes open half the time... how am I supposed to live like that?! L's been obnoxious and a huge pain ever since all of this began! I wish he'd just been normal, and then none of this would have been so bad!!”
“You don't mean that!” Matsuda said, eyes wide, his tone desperate. “You and Ryuuzaki are friends, Raito, you don't really want him to change-”
“I hate Ryuuzaki!” Raito yelled. L's voice rolled off the ceiling, powerful, raw, unused to being used in such a way, and Matsuda shook, cowering. Raito continued on, oblivious. “Ryuuzaki does everything, and I get nothing! I hate him! It'd have been better for this entire investigation if Ryuuzaki had never been born!”
A monstrous silence echoed around the room, and Matsuda shook, chancing a glance at L.
L was crouched down on his feet, hugging his knees tightly to his chest, rocking slowly back and forth, his thumbnail in his mouth. He glanced up at Raito, as calm as ever, but his eyes betraying a hurt.
“Are you quite done?” he said shortly. Raito scoffed, looking away.
“Whatever.”
L looked at Raito, who glared away defiantly, and silently stood again, moving the chairs back into place. Matsuda felt his heart go out to him. L looked hurt, after hearing his first friend denounce him like that, though he was ignoring the pain. Matsuda just wanted to go over and give him a hug.
Raito's eyes narrowed as he watched L move things about.
“Just what are you doing?” he demanded.
L looked up at him, polite surprise in his eyes.
“The others will be returning any moment,” he said. “If you really want to carry out this charade, everything should seem as normal as possible, should it not?”
Matsuda gaped, and even Raito's mouth fell open in shock, before he quickly snapped it closed.
“Right,” Raito said, a devious gleam returning to his eyes. “Right you are...”
Matsuda shivered, watching as L moved around, tidying things up with a blank stare.
What was going to happen now?
********
It was astonishing, Matsuda reflected, that things were going as well as they were. No one had suspected a thing.
Then again, it was hardly likely that anyone would ever suspect body-swapping, of course...
Raito had seized the opportunity and leaped head-first into the Kira investigation with full force. Taking command quickly and naturally, he had used his leverage as L to dredge up all Japanese death certificates over the past six months. Now encoding a program to search for patterns and send queries, Raito worked furiously, giving the rest of the investigation team commands as they searched through old records and scoured the tabloids for any mention of Kira.
Strangely enough, the investigation team had blinked upon returning, silently dropped the theories they'd been working on before, and attacked Raito's new train of investigation with enthusiasm, Raito's own motivation catching. The room was a flutter of activity, and Matsuda secretly suspected that the work kept them from noticing that things weren't quite normal.
L had taken to searching quietly on a computer, encoding commands and acting on his own. He'd ignored Aizawa's jabs that he couldn't do whatever he wanted just because he lived there now, informing him that “if he didn't want a cup of coffee or something useful, to leave him alone.” It wasn't like him at all, really, Matsuda knew. If L were really Matsuda, he'd be in the midst of things, trying to help with the new direction the investigation had turned, and certainly not off to the side. But he'd been known to sulk in the corner at times, so it wasn't really too much of a stretch...
I have it the hardest, Matsuda thought, watching as Raito's fingers flew over L's keyboard. Raito is a genius, and L can do anything. They can both pretend to be other people. But me...
Matsuda bit his lip, typing. It was pointless to try and hack a site like Raito would be doing - he hadn't the slightest idea of how. The best he could do for now is type as fast as he could (nonsense, really - just enough to keep the sounds of typing in the background so no one would get suspicious) and try to ask smart questions when Raito came up with a plan.
He glanced over at L, perched over by his laptop, ignoring the world. It wasn't like L; Matsuda thought that L would have leaped at the chance to drive Raito crazy by asking inane questions as Matsuda to L. L seemed content to sit and type, however, off in his own little world.
Biting his lip and wincing, belatedly remembering that it was split open, Matsuda stood up.
“Ah, R- Matsuda, would you like a cup of coffee or anything?”
The investigation team stopped, looking up curiously. L's eyes bolted to his, wide.
“Coffee?”
“Yes,” Matsuda carried on, obliviously. “You know, I thought you might-”
“Coffee's a good idea,” Raito said quickly. “Matsuda-san, will you get coffee for the team?”
L stood, then paused, making a conscious effort to stand up straight.
“Ah, sure,” he said, rubbing his head sheepishly in a fair imitation of Matsuda. “Raito-kun, you know you don't need to beat around the bush, ne! Just ask for what you need!”
He quickly lolloped off to the kitchen, doing his best to walk straight.
Matsuda stared, while the rest of the investigation team went back to work.
“Sit down, you goon!” Raito hissed. “Did you even realize what you nearly did?”
“What do you mean?” Matsuda whispered, sitting back down.
“I never ask you if you want coffee,” Raito whispered fiercely. “You're always the one to offer to get coffee, and you're not you right now, remember? You have to think and act like I would.”
Matsuda folded his arms, defiant.
“I was only trying to be nice,” he said, frowning. “L's still upset about you being so mean earlier and taking over his job. I was only trying to cheer him up.”
Raito scowled, running a hand through his hair, then freezing as it got tangled in L's messy locks.
“Damnit,” Raito swore, subtly trying to extract his hand from his hair. “I don't know how Ryuuzaki does all this...”
Matsuda bit his lip, shaking with silent amusement as Raito finally pulled his hand free.
“Having a fun time as L?” he asked.
Raito shot him a glare.
While it was clear Raito liked being in charge, Matsuda noted, pretending to be L was something entirely different. Raito had sat down normally, before realizing how odd that was for L, slowly settling into a crouch. He'd tried eating sweets to add to the illusion, only to make faces and spit them out when no one was looking. When he'd needed to go to the bathroom, he'd fallen over flat, forgetting that his legs would be numb from crouching for so long.
Matsuda had thought he'd seen L laughing silently at that, while the rest of the team just stared and sweatdropped.
Matsuda quirked a smile, watching Raito, his head tilted. Even though it wasn't really L, only Raito in disguise, it was nice to be this close to
L, in a way...
Matsuda had always looked up to L, ever since he met him. He was so young and so smart, and he didn't care what anybody thought of him, really. He was even more socially awkward than Matsuda was, and he got away with it and no one cared. And he was nice, too, offering to let Matsuda stay the night at the investigation place, draping a blanket over him when he fell asleep on the couch as he and Raito worked long into the nights...
Matsuda let a smile play around his lips, watching. L was cute, too, Matsuda thought decisively, flushing slightly at the thought. His big, round eyes and his way of tilting his head at you when he was getting ready to tease you or ask you a hard question... His hair wasn't too bad either, once you got past the fact that it was all over the place, and he was so skinny (scarily skinny) that you just wanted to give him a hug.
Raito made a face, scowling, and swore underneath his breath, typing furiously. Matsuda's smile faded from view. Thought he might look like him right now, Raito was nothing like L.
“Coffee!!”
Matsuda turned as L returned, walking carefully upright with a coffee tray in his hands. He carefully set it down on the nearby coffee table, before straightening up again slowly.
“I forgot what everyone liked,” he said, rubbing his head again in imitation of sheepish Matsuda. “Help yourself, please”
“You forgot, after all this time...?” Aizawa muttered darkly. L ignored him, instead preparing a mug.
“Here, Ryuuzaki. I remembered yours! Just lots and lots of sugar!”
Raito turned quickly, giving L a dark look, who only smiled innocently. Scowling, he took the cup and sipped from it, eyes widening slightly in surprise as he realized the coffee was black, just how Raito liked. Matsuda watched as Raito turned to thank L, but L was crouched down again, preparing another mug.
“Here, Raito-kun. One milk, two sugars.” He offered the mug to Matsuda who took it, blinking up at him, surprised.
“I thought you usually have your coffee black, Raito,” Mr. Yagami said, distracted.
“Ah, I just feel like something a bit different today,” Matsuda said quickly. Mr. Yagami grunted, returning to work.
Matsuda watched in astonishment as L prepared his own cup of coffee, watching to make sure the others weren't looking and dumping half the sugar bowl into it. Matsuda grinned as L stirred it, trying not to slop it all over the tray, before moving back to crouch by his laptop, sipping from his sweet drink.
It was odd, though, Matsuda noted. He'd always been the one to make everyone's coffee. L had never done it before - that was why he'd brought the tray, he assumed. And it would make sense that L had remembered that Raito liked his black - Raito'd always made a fuss when he'd picked up L's cup by mistake. But his...
Had L really been paying that much attention to him to remember how he liked his coffee?
Or was it just some freak chance...?
******
“So Mogi, you'll go to Aoyama with Yagami-san; Aizawa, you'll stay here and monitor. Understand?”
“But wait, Ryuuzaki,” Aizawa argued. “That doesn't make any sense. Shouldn't I go too?”
“It makes perfect sense,” Raito said, scowling. “What don't you understand?”
“If we're investigating this Ameko girl who claims to be able to kill with a thought, shouldn't we all go? There's strength in numbers.”
“That's ridiculous,” Raito said shortly. “Do you want to end up like Ukita? You should know better than to put all your hope on one chance-”
“I think,” L cut in, his tone polite, “that Ryuuzaki-san is trying to say that he thinks you'd be better at monitoring them from the hidden cameras on their pockets, Aizawa, in case anything goes wrong.”
Aizawa blinked. “Oh,” he said, looking at Raito. “Well, why didn't you say so?”
He left, walking towards the remote monitoring room. Raito shot L a dirty look, who had already turned back to his laptop. As soon as the door slid shut, Raito rounded on him.
“You!” he hissed. “Why do you have to mess everything up?!”
“Don't be ridiculous,” L said dismissively. “You clearly didn't know how to explain things so he would understand.”
“I was explaining things perfectly. I don't know what you're playing at-”
“And yet, Aizawa did not understand you, did he?” L challenged, chin rising, his eyes meeting Raito's in defiance. “Perhaps there is more to being L than just being in charge.”
Raito opened his mouth to retort when the far door opened, Watari walking in.
“Ryuuzaki,” he said, handing Raito a report. “These are the current test scores. You have a request for a video conference one week from now as well. In addition, there are several things that need to be taken care of regarding the building and other things.”
Raito blinked, stunned.
“Ah- thank you, Watari,” he said haltingly, taking the file from him. “I'll be sure to take care of this immediately.”
Watari bowed, leaving the room, gliding across the floor. Rather confused, Matsuda leaned over Raito's shoulder, looking at the files as well.
“What is this?” Raito asked numbly, paging through. “Number 1, 100. Number 2, 98. Number 3, 92... this is insane. Who refers to people as numbers?”
Matsuda blinked, mind spinning at all the figures. Raito paged through it, reading on.
“What on earth-? Number 17, with 78, displaces number 16, with 77...”
“You don't need to read that,” L said from across the room. “It means nothing to you.” Raito looked up, giving L a dirty look.
“No kidding. What is all this? What's this mean, 17 displacing 16...?”
“Oh?” L said, eyes brightening for a moment. “Linda will be pleased. She's been trying so hard...”
Raito raised an eyebrow, but L didn't offer anything else. Giving him another dark look, he returned to the file.
“To do:” he read, eyes widening. “One, additional windows for the 5th floor. Two, contact Yassir Omarda regarding X-CL9. Three, latest evidence on CARC31 killer is in. Four, BB's autopsy had been released - critical new information has been discovered; check DAT45261. Five-” Raito broke off, eyes bulging, before shoving the information back into the file, shooting a look at L. “What is all this?” he demanded.
“My to-do list,” L said simply. “I thought you'd be able to figure that out from the title...”
“What's this even mean?” Raito demanded. “You never do all this stuff! I've been beside you day and night for weeks! You only work on the Kira case - you don't take the time to order windows or do any of this-!”
“It doesn't take long,” L said mildly, gnawing on Matsuda's thumbnail. “Only about two or three minutes, max.”
“There's thirty-eight things on this list!” Raito said, incredulous. “That's about five seconds per item!”
L turned and gave him a look.
“How long does it take you to read or place an order?” he asked.
Raito turned back to his computer abruptly, fuming, gritting his jaw tightly. Matsuda scooted his chair back a bit, stretching the chain.
“Don't forget to order those windows,” L said mockingly. “They need to come in before next Tuesday...”
Matsuda saw a vein pulse in Raito's temple, before quickly getting back to work.
***********
When the day was finally over, Matsuda was more than slightly relieved. Raito had nearly yelled at the investigation team five times, and he'd grown more and more upset and annoyed as he'd tried to do complete L's list. He'd managed to order the windows easily enough, but the rest? Matsuda had watched at Raito searched desperately for anything about a CARC31 killer for an hour, only finding the smallest note about him on a French conspiracy website about government cover-ups. Raito clearly didn't know where to get any of this information that L needed, and he'd refused to ask L for help.
Matsuda had been relatively content playing minesweeper all day, but it was hard to concentrate and beat his high score with Raito fuming like that next to him.
“What a busy day!” Mr. Yagami said aloud, stretching. “I'm glad we're making progress. I'll see you all tomorrow. Raito, Ryuuzaki.”
Raito inclined his head, and Matsuda managed a quick “Bye Dad” that didn't sound too strange for Raito. Aizawa and Mogi got their things together as well, quietly, and Matsuda turned back to his game.
“Ah, Matsuda, you're going home tonight as well?”
Matsuda and Raito whipped around, watching as L pulled on Matsuda's coat and picked up his briefcase.
“I figured I might as well,” he said, slipping on Matsuda's shoes as if it were natural. “It's been such a while, you know. I should water my plants...”
Aizawa laughed, holding the door open for L. Matsuda stared, wondering if L wanted to leave so he could have a normal night out and go drinking and sing karaoke or something without having to worry that he might be killed.
“Ah, Matsuda!” Matsuda turned, hearing Raito call out quickly, looking panicked. “-san,” he added belatedly.
L turned, his face a picture of patience.
“Yes, Ryuuzaki?” he asked. Raito swallowed.
“Are you sure you can't stay?” he asked. Matsuda could see him struggle over the words. “I- we could use your help, and with the Kira case taking a new direction-”
“Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine,” L said, eyes sparkling. “After all, you're so smart, Ryuuzaki-! I'll probably just get in the way...”
Aizawa laughed, leading L through the door.
“Really, Matsuda, you're smart too, at times...”
“Ah, you really think so, Aizawa?”
The door closed, and Raito turned back to the computer, folding his arms and scowling.
“He's having far too much fun with this,” he muttered darkly. “It's not acting class, for god's sake.”
Matsuda couldn't stop a smile.
“And you're not?” he teased. A vein pulsed in Raito's temple, and he turned to glare at Matsuda.
“Of course not,” he said, his tone short. “This is insane. I didn't realize the sheer amount of work that goes into coordinating everything and documenting and encrypting every action that is taken... and trying to explain things to the rest of the team... I don't know how Ryuuzaki does it.”
“You're not to tell him that,” Raito said sharply, as Matsuda opened his mouth. Matsuda only laughed and closed it, amused. Raito sighed, glancing up at the clock.
“It is late,” he said, musing. “It's almost ten. I guess I can go to bed early, now that L's not insisting we stay up until three in the morning...”
Matsuda tried to suppress a yawn and failed, and Raito laughed.
“Here,” Raito said, fishing in his pocket. “I'll unlock the cuffs - there's no use in keeping up appearances right now, is there? You go on ahead, I'm going to shut this down.”
Hesitating as Raito unlocked it, Matsuda bit his lip, skeptical. They weren't supposed to let Raito out of their sight, were they? But it was clear that Raito wasn't Kira, after all... and he could take a nice, warm shower...
Mind made up, Matsuda skipped over to the bedroom.
Whistling as he gathered up the things for a shower, Matsuda paused at the full-length mirrors all along the closet doors. It was incredible, Matsuda thought, poking his cheek. He really looked like Raito.
Of course, he'd known he was in Raito's body all day. But it was one thing to know that you were in someone else's body - it was quite another to watch you make that body react like it were your own.
Matsuda trailed a finger over his face, leaning towards the window. Golden-brown eyes looked back at him, unlike Matsuda's own chocolate brown. He touched his lips softly, the split almost scabbed over, before glancing down at the rest of him.
...he was in Raito's body.
Matsuda hadn't even considered exploring until now.
Biting his lip, shooting a hesitant look at the door, Matsuda quickly pulled off his shirt, pausing to examine Raito's body in the mirror. Lean, defined muscles stood out, and Matsuda examined himself in the mirror, slowly running his hands over his arms and chest. He felt his face flush slightly, and he slowly ran a hand down his chest to his abs.
“Sexy, aren't I?”
Whirling around, Matsuda burned with shame as Raito came in, smirking. The smirk looked distinctly odd on L's face, Matsuda noted dimly, before quickly retorting.
“I-I was going to take a shower! It's perfectly normal to take your clothes off before you take a shower-!”
“Oh, hush,” Raito said dismissively, moving over to the mirror next to him. “You were ogling and you know it. It's fine. Besides, I've been dying to see what L been keeping hidden under this sweater all this time...”
Matsuda opened his mouth to retort, only to fall silent and gape as Raito slowly removed the sweater.
L was skinny, Matsuda noticed first - almost dangerously so. Raito stretched slightly, and Matsuda could count his ribs. His skin was freakishly pale all over, as if he'd never seen the sunlight before, and his chest was completely hairless.
But the biggest surprise were the scars.
Long, thin scars ran all over his abdomen and back, flesh slightly raised. They were arranged diagonally, as if L had been tied to something and systematically cut over and over again, or as if he'd been whipped with a blade. The lines were jagged and deep, judging from the raised flesh, and Matsuda shivered at the thought of such a terrible pain.
Swallowing hard, Matsuda watched as Raito traced one of them and shivered.
“This...” Raito breathed, eyes wide, staring into the mirror. “This is why he always crouches... he instinctively protects his abdomen, where all his organs are...”
Matsuda wondered if the slouching could be explained too, by some other traumatic incident, like being tied to a post and beaten repeatedly, before shuddering at the thought.
“I can't believe this,” Raito said quietly, tracing another one on his chest. “All these scars, and L never said anything. He just kept quiet...”
Suddenly, Matsuda became aware of the feeling that they were doing something wrong.
“No, don't,” he said, pushing L's shirt at him, looking away. “Raito-kun, this is wrong. We shouldn't be looking at Ryuuzaki like this.”
“Why not?” Raito asked. “You were looking at me the same way, and you can be sure that L's probably at home looking at you all over too.”
Matsuda nearly fainted at the idea of L examining him in the nude, but hurried on, face distinctly red.
“No, Raito-! It's different. Look at this. Look at L...”
Almost involuntarily, Matsuda traced one of L's scars, making them both shiver.
“We can't look at this if Ryuuzaki doesn't want us to,” Matsuda said quietly, meeting Raito's eyes in the mirror. “If Ryuuzaki wants to keep this part of him secret, he has the right to do so.”
There was a long silence, before finally, Raito began to pull the sweater back over his head.
“I guess you're right,” he said, fixing it. He laughed, hollowly. “But wow. I've always wanted to see L shirtless. I just didn't expect that.”
“Yeah,” Matsuda nodded mindlessly, before freezing. “Wait, what?”
“Oh, come on,” Raito said, looking at Matsuda, his eyes glittering with amusement. “Don't tell me it surprises you.”
“You wanted to see L shirtless?” Matsuda said, shocked. “Wait, why? What? Since when??”
“To be specific, I've wanted to see L naked,” Raito said dryly. “You don't know how infuriating it is to be shackled to him 24/7, but never get to see him with his guard down. And when he keeps sucking on his thumb all the time and makes those little moans in his fitful sleep, and I never get a chance to, you know, take care of things... it's enough to drive anyone crazy.”
“Oh my god!!” Matsuda shrieked, eyes bulging. “You- you like L!!”
Raito looked at Matsuda like he was crazy.
“Are you kidding me?” he said, incredulous. “I love L.”
“But- but-” Matsuda sputtered, face turning red with indignation. “But- you're a boy!”
“So?” Raito said calmly, picking up a comb and attempting to run it through L's hair.
“You can't like another boy!” Matsuda said, face beet red. “And anyway, you like Misa, don't you, so you can't-”
“Oh, grow up.” Raito winced, gently tugging, trying to extract the comb from L's hair. “This is the twenty-first century. Being gay isn't a big deal anymore.”
“Oh my god!!” Matsuda exclaimed, wringing his hands. “I can't- I can't believe you like L-!”
Freeing the comb, Raito set it down, giving Matsuda a look.
“You're being awfully oblivious,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Why, just look at you. You're obviously infatuated with both L and me.”
“What?!”
Raito laughed.
“Oh, come on. You know you are,” Raito teased, getting a brush from inside a drawer and removing a few long hairs. “You're always all red and flustered around L. Ryuuzaki, can I get you coffee? Ryuuzaki, do you need help with anything? Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki...” Raito imitated, raising his voice and affecting a silly tone. Matsuda flushed darkly.
“I do not!”
“And then there's me,” Raito continued, gently working the brush through L's hair. “You're always looking at me. Not like you're about to pass out from stress, but like you never want to leave. You're intoxicated by me. And you know it.”
“I'm not!” Matsuda objected. “I'm not!”
“The first thing you do is come in here and pretend you just want to take a shower when all you want to do is feel me up,” Raito said, eyes sparkling. “I'm not saying I mind it, Matsuda, but really. Self-denial is a juvenile defense mechanism. Do try to grow up a bit.”
Mind reeling, Matsuda stumbled over the the bed and fell down, covering his eyes.
“This is ridiculous...” Matsuda moaned. “This is insane...”
“Is it?” Raito quipped, and Matsuda found he didn't have an answer to that.
Part 3
Rating: M
Pairing: Raito/Matsuda/L. In that order.
Word count: 15,535. This is not a short oneshot fic.
Warnings: none
A/N: Commissioned by and written for jessieheart. Enjoy! :D
Part 1
Ohh... my head...
Matsuda groaned, clutching at his head in pain. It hurt. It hurt a lot.
The lights were back on, bright and piercing into his skull. He felt sore all over, as if he'd had a horrible night's sleep, and there was a sharp pain in his lip, as if he'd split it open. Groaning, Matsuda rolled over, pulling up arm up to shield his eyes with his sleeve. The chain tinkled slightly as Matsuda shifted his arm, hiding his eyes from the light.
Wait. Chain?
Very slowly, Matsuda opened his eyes and sat up.
Blinking a few times to readjust, he looked around, seeing L sprawled on the floor nearby, gingerly getting to his feet. His eye was still a deep purple, his hair a mess, but Matsuda watched in astonishment as L stood up straight, stretching slightly.
“What happened?”
Matsuda jerked sharply to his right, only to see himself clambering up off the ground. He watched in horror as the other-him cracked his neck slightly, before touching his eye carefully, unsure.
Matsuda looked down at himself. Blue suit had morphed into a striped shirt and khakis, and there was a silver cuff around his right wrist. Shocked, Matsuda shook his hair, gasping when golden-brown strands fell in front of his eyes.
“Oh my god!! We've all switched bodies!!”
Other-Matsuda looked over at him, raising a skeptical eyebrow, but Matsuda was watching L, who was trying to hide a smirk and failing.
“Don't be ridiculous,” other-Matsuda said. “How could we possibly have-”
“I don't know, but ask Raito!” Matsuda said. “Ah, not me, I'm not Raito, I'm Matsuda! And - you're Ryuuzaki, ne? But you look like me- but look at Raito! He's the one that looks like you!”
Eyes widening, other-Matsuda (L, Matsuda mentally corrected himself, the other him was L) turned to look at the other-L in astonishment, shrinking back when the other-L let an alien smirk spread over his face.
“Nicely done, Matsuda,” the other-L said, brushing off his clothes airily. “I'm surprised you figured it out so fast.”
“Raito-kun!” Matsuda exclaimed. The L jerked his head up, eyes narrowing.
“What?” he said shortly, and Matsuda swallowed.
“What have you done to us?”
Matsuda turned to look at L, who was standing slightly off-center, his hands clenched in rage. Raito shrugged casually, a gesture that looked distinctly unnatural on L.
“I switched our bodies,” Raito said easily. “Couldn't you figure that out?”
Matsuda gaped, astonished, while L's eyes darkened.
“Why?” he said quietly, his tone low and dangerous. Matsuda blinked, thinking that asking how would have made a bit more sense.
“I wanted to teach you a lesson,” Raito informed him. “I wanted out from under your watch for a bit. I figured if I was you, I could take the key, unlock the cuffs, and no one would suspect anything, really. I'm a good actor. And you'd have to keep quiet, or everyone would think that poor Raito-kun had finally lost it from all the stress...”
He stopped, shooting Matsuda a dark look before continuing.
“It wasn't supposed to affect all three of us.”
Matsuda rubbed his head sheepishly, unsure if he should apologize or glare back at Raito. Raito stared and then sighed, shivering slightly.
“That looks so wrong on my body...”
L moved over to the fallen chairs, picking up the extinguished birthday candle, looking at it curiously. He glanced at Raito.
“This was the indicator that the switch has been successful?” he asked quietly. “When the flame went out?”
L's lips tightened, and Raito looked down L's nose at L.
“Apparently.”
Matsuda shook his head, whimpering.
“This is ridiculous,” he murmured, clutching his head. “Magic isn't real. Magic isn't real-”
“Matsuda, get a hold of yourself,” L said sharply. Matsuda looked up quickly, stunned to see himself (well, L, really) take charge so quickly.
“We are living in strange and dangerous times,” he said, his tone low. “When someone can kill people thousands of miles away by heart attack and disobey all known rules of the world, something as simple magic should not be such a mental stretch to make.” He fixed his eyes on Raito, who lounged against a nearby wall, one eyebrow raised. “The only question should be how to reverse such a thing.”
Raito buffed his nails lightly against his white sweater, looking at them idly.
“No,” he said.
L raised an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”
“I said no,” Raito said again, turning to look at him. “I'm sick to death of you bossing me around, and I'm going to take this chance. I'm going to lead the investigation, and I'm going to be rid of you.”
“But Raito-” Matsuda objected. “Surely everyone will notice! And you can't just think that Ryuuzaki will really-”
“Forget Ryuuzaki,” Raito said nastily. “Poor Ryuuzaki's been controlling me since say one in this hellhole. It's about time I got to be in control.”
L looked struck, his eyes wide, and Matsuda tried again.
“Don't be ridiculous!” he said. “Ryuuzaki's been on your side! He came up with this as a way for you to participate and help catch Kira! So you could eventually prove your freedom! He's not trying to make you upset!”
“Bugger good intentions!” Raito snapped. “Staying awake in bed until three am every night and sleeping with his eyes open half the time... how am I supposed to live like that?! L's been obnoxious and a huge pain ever since all of this began! I wish he'd just been normal, and then none of this would have been so bad!!”
“You don't mean that!” Matsuda said, eyes wide, his tone desperate. “You and Ryuuzaki are friends, Raito, you don't really want him to change-”
“I hate Ryuuzaki!” Raito yelled. L's voice rolled off the ceiling, powerful, raw, unused to being used in such a way, and Matsuda shook, cowering. Raito continued on, oblivious. “Ryuuzaki does everything, and I get nothing! I hate him! It'd have been better for this entire investigation if Ryuuzaki had never been born!”
A monstrous silence echoed around the room, and Matsuda shook, chancing a glance at L.
L was crouched down on his feet, hugging his knees tightly to his chest, rocking slowly back and forth, his thumbnail in his mouth. He glanced up at Raito, as calm as ever, but his eyes betraying a hurt.
“Are you quite done?” he said shortly. Raito scoffed, looking away.
“Whatever.”
L looked at Raito, who glared away defiantly, and silently stood again, moving the chairs back into place. Matsuda felt his heart go out to him. L looked hurt, after hearing his first friend denounce him like that, though he was ignoring the pain. Matsuda just wanted to go over and give him a hug.
Raito's eyes narrowed as he watched L move things about.
“Just what are you doing?” he demanded.
L looked up at him, polite surprise in his eyes.
“The others will be returning any moment,” he said. “If you really want to carry out this charade, everything should seem as normal as possible, should it not?”
Matsuda gaped, and even Raito's mouth fell open in shock, before he quickly snapped it closed.
“Right,” Raito said, a devious gleam returning to his eyes. “Right you are...”
Matsuda shivered, watching as L moved around, tidying things up with a blank stare.
What was going to happen now?
********
It was astonishing, Matsuda reflected, that things were going as well as they were. No one had suspected a thing.
Then again, it was hardly likely that anyone would ever suspect body-swapping, of course...
Raito had seized the opportunity and leaped head-first into the Kira investigation with full force. Taking command quickly and naturally, he had used his leverage as L to dredge up all Japanese death certificates over the past six months. Now encoding a program to search for patterns and send queries, Raito worked furiously, giving the rest of the investigation team commands as they searched through old records and scoured the tabloids for any mention of Kira.
Strangely enough, the investigation team had blinked upon returning, silently dropped the theories they'd been working on before, and attacked Raito's new train of investigation with enthusiasm, Raito's own motivation catching. The room was a flutter of activity, and Matsuda secretly suspected that the work kept them from noticing that things weren't quite normal.
L had taken to searching quietly on a computer, encoding commands and acting on his own. He'd ignored Aizawa's jabs that he couldn't do whatever he wanted just because he lived there now, informing him that “if he didn't want a cup of coffee or something useful, to leave him alone.” It wasn't like him at all, really, Matsuda knew. If L were really Matsuda, he'd be in the midst of things, trying to help with the new direction the investigation had turned, and certainly not off to the side. But he'd been known to sulk in the corner at times, so it wasn't really too much of a stretch...
I have it the hardest, Matsuda thought, watching as Raito's fingers flew over L's keyboard. Raito is a genius, and L can do anything. They can both pretend to be other people. But me...
Matsuda bit his lip, typing. It was pointless to try and hack a site like Raito would be doing - he hadn't the slightest idea of how. The best he could do for now is type as fast as he could (nonsense, really - just enough to keep the sounds of typing in the background so no one would get suspicious) and try to ask smart questions when Raito came up with a plan.
He glanced over at L, perched over by his laptop, ignoring the world. It wasn't like L; Matsuda thought that L would have leaped at the chance to drive Raito crazy by asking inane questions as Matsuda to L. L seemed content to sit and type, however, off in his own little world.
Biting his lip and wincing, belatedly remembering that it was split open, Matsuda stood up.
“Ah, R- Matsuda, would you like a cup of coffee or anything?”
The investigation team stopped, looking up curiously. L's eyes bolted to his, wide.
“Coffee?”
“Yes,” Matsuda carried on, obliviously. “You know, I thought you might-”
“Coffee's a good idea,” Raito said quickly. “Matsuda-san, will you get coffee for the team?”
L stood, then paused, making a conscious effort to stand up straight.
“Ah, sure,” he said, rubbing his head sheepishly in a fair imitation of Matsuda. “Raito-kun, you know you don't need to beat around the bush, ne! Just ask for what you need!”
He quickly lolloped off to the kitchen, doing his best to walk straight.
Matsuda stared, while the rest of the investigation team went back to work.
“Sit down, you goon!” Raito hissed. “Did you even realize what you nearly did?”
“What do you mean?” Matsuda whispered, sitting back down.
“I never ask you if you want coffee,” Raito whispered fiercely. “You're always the one to offer to get coffee, and you're not you right now, remember? You have to think and act like I would.”
Matsuda folded his arms, defiant.
“I was only trying to be nice,” he said, frowning. “L's still upset about you being so mean earlier and taking over his job. I was only trying to cheer him up.”
Raito scowled, running a hand through his hair, then freezing as it got tangled in L's messy locks.
“Damnit,” Raito swore, subtly trying to extract his hand from his hair. “I don't know how Ryuuzaki does all this...”
Matsuda bit his lip, shaking with silent amusement as Raito finally pulled his hand free.
“Having a fun time as L?” he asked.
Raito shot him a glare.
While it was clear Raito liked being in charge, Matsuda noted, pretending to be L was something entirely different. Raito had sat down normally, before realizing how odd that was for L, slowly settling into a crouch. He'd tried eating sweets to add to the illusion, only to make faces and spit them out when no one was looking. When he'd needed to go to the bathroom, he'd fallen over flat, forgetting that his legs would be numb from crouching for so long.
Matsuda had thought he'd seen L laughing silently at that, while the rest of the team just stared and sweatdropped.
Matsuda quirked a smile, watching Raito, his head tilted. Even though it wasn't really L, only Raito in disguise, it was nice to be this close to
L, in a way...
Matsuda had always looked up to L, ever since he met him. He was so young and so smart, and he didn't care what anybody thought of him, really. He was even more socially awkward than Matsuda was, and he got away with it and no one cared. And he was nice, too, offering to let Matsuda stay the night at the investigation place, draping a blanket over him when he fell asleep on the couch as he and Raito worked long into the nights...
Matsuda let a smile play around his lips, watching. L was cute, too, Matsuda thought decisively, flushing slightly at the thought. His big, round eyes and his way of tilting his head at you when he was getting ready to tease you or ask you a hard question... His hair wasn't too bad either, once you got past the fact that it was all over the place, and he was so skinny (scarily skinny) that you just wanted to give him a hug.
Raito made a face, scowling, and swore underneath his breath, typing furiously. Matsuda's smile faded from view. Thought he might look like him right now, Raito was nothing like L.
“Coffee!!”
Matsuda turned as L returned, walking carefully upright with a coffee tray in his hands. He carefully set it down on the nearby coffee table, before straightening up again slowly.
“I forgot what everyone liked,” he said, rubbing his head again in imitation of sheepish Matsuda. “Help yourself, please”
“You forgot, after all this time...?” Aizawa muttered darkly. L ignored him, instead preparing a mug.
“Here, Ryuuzaki. I remembered yours! Just lots and lots of sugar!”
Raito turned quickly, giving L a dark look, who only smiled innocently. Scowling, he took the cup and sipped from it, eyes widening slightly in surprise as he realized the coffee was black, just how Raito liked. Matsuda watched as Raito turned to thank L, but L was crouched down again, preparing another mug.
“Here, Raito-kun. One milk, two sugars.” He offered the mug to Matsuda who took it, blinking up at him, surprised.
“I thought you usually have your coffee black, Raito,” Mr. Yagami said, distracted.
“Ah, I just feel like something a bit different today,” Matsuda said quickly. Mr. Yagami grunted, returning to work.
Matsuda watched in astonishment as L prepared his own cup of coffee, watching to make sure the others weren't looking and dumping half the sugar bowl into it. Matsuda grinned as L stirred it, trying not to slop it all over the tray, before moving back to crouch by his laptop, sipping from his sweet drink.
It was odd, though, Matsuda noted. He'd always been the one to make everyone's coffee. L had never done it before - that was why he'd brought the tray, he assumed. And it would make sense that L had remembered that Raito liked his black - Raito'd always made a fuss when he'd picked up L's cup by mistake. But his...
Had L really been paying that much attention to him to remember how he liked his coffee?
Or was it just some freak chance...?
******
“So Mogi, you'll go to Aoyama with Yagami-san; Aizawa, you'll stay here and monitor. Understand?”
“But wait, Ryuuzaki,” Aizawa argued. “That doesn't make any sense. Shouldn't I go too?”
“It makes perfect sense,” Raito said, scowling. “What don't you understand?”
“If we're investigating this Ameko girl who claims to be able to kill with a thought, shouldn't we all go? There's strength in numbers.”
“That's ridiculous,” Raito said shortly. “Do you want to end up like Ukita? You should know better than to put all your hope on one chance-”
“I think,” L cut in, his tone polite, “that Ryuuzaki-san is trying to say that he thinks you'd be better at monitoring them from the hidden cameras on their pockets, Aizawa, in case anything goes wrong.”
Aizawa blinked. “Oh,” he said, looking at Raito. “Well, why didn't you say so?”
He left, walking towards the remote monitoring room. Raito shot L a dirty look, who had already turned back to his laptop. As soon as the door slid shut, Raito rounded on him.
“You!” he hissed. “Why do you have to mess everything up?!”
“Don't be ridiculous,” L said dismissively. “You clearly didn't know how to explain things so he would understand.”
“I was explaining things perfectly. I don't know what you're playing at-”
“And yet, Aizawa did not understand you, did he?” L challenged, chin rising, his eyes meeting Raito's in defiance. “Perhaps there is more to being L than just being in charge.”
Raito opened his mouth to retort when the far door opened, Watari walking in.
“Ryuuzaki,” he said, handing Raito a report. “These are the current test scores. You have a request for a video conference one week from now as well. In addition, there are several things that need to be taken care of regarding the building and other things.”
Raito blinked, stunned.
“Ah- thank you, Watari,” he said haltingly, taking the file from him. “I'll be sure to take care of this immediately.”
Watari bowed, leaving the room, gliding across the floor. Rather confused, Matsuda leaned over Raito's shoulder, looking at the files as well.
“What is this?” Raito asked numbly, paging through. “Number 1, 100. Number 2, 98. Number 3, 92... this is insane. Who refers to people as numbers?”
Matsuda blinked, mind spinning at all the figures. Raito paged through it, reading on.
“What on earth-? Number 17, with 78, displaces number 16, with 77...”
“You don't need to read that,” L said from across the room. “It means nothing to you.” Raito looked up, giving L a dirty look.
“No kidding. What is all this? What's this mean, 17 displacing 16...?”
“Oh?” L said, eyes brightening for a moment. “Linda will be pleased. She's been trying so hard...”
Raito raised an eyebrow, but L didn't offer anything else. Giving him another dark look, he returned to the file.
“To do:” he read, eyes widening. “One, additional windows for the 5th floor. Two, contact Yassir Omarda regarding X-CL9. Three, latest evidence on CARC31 killer is in. Four, BB's autopsy had been released - critical new information has been discovered; check DAT45261. Five-” Raito broke off, eyes bulging, before shoving the information back into the file, shooting a look at L. “What is all this?” he demanded.
“My to-do list,” L said simply. “I thought you'd be able to figure that out from the title...”
“What's this even mean?” Raito demanded. “You never do all this stuff! I've been beside you day and night for weeks! You only work on the Kira case - you don't take the time to order windows or do any of this-!”
“It doesn't take long,” L said mildly, gnawing on Matsuda's thumbnail. “Only about two or three minutes, max.”
“There's thirty-eight things on this list!” Raito said, incredulous. “That's about five seconds per item!”
L turned and gave him a look.
“How long does it take you to read or place an order?” he asked.
Raito turned back to his computer abruptly, fuming, gritting his jaw tightly. Matsuda scooted his chair back a bit, stretching the chain.
“Don't forget to order those windows,” L said mockingly. “They need to come in before next Tuesday...”
Matsuda saw a vein pulse in Raito's temple, before quickly getting back to work.
***********
When the day was finally over, Matsuda was more than slightly relieved. Raito had nearly yelled at the investigation team five times, and he'd grown more and more upset and annoyed as he'd tried to do complete L's list. He'd managed to order the windows easily enough, but the rest? Matsuda had watched at Raito searched desperately for anything about a CARC31 killer for an hour, only finding the smallest note about him on a French conspiracy website about government cover-ups. Raito clearly didn't know where to get any of this information that L needed, and he'd refused to ask L for help.
Matsuda had been relatively content playing minesweeper all day, but it was hard to concentrate and beat his high score with Raito fuming like that next to him.
“What a busy day!” Mr. Yagami said aloud, stretching. “I'm glad we're making progress. I'll see you all tomorrow. Raito, Ryuuzaki.”
Raito inclined his head, and Matsuda managed a quick “Bye Dad” that didn't sound too strange for Raito. Aizawa and Mogi got their things together as well, quietly, and Matsuda turned back to his game.
“Ah, Matsuda, you're going home tonight as well?”
Matsuda and Raito whipped around, watching as L pulled on Matsuda's coat and picked up his briefcase.
“I figured I might as well,” he said, slipping on Matsuda's shoes as if it were natural. “It's been such a while, you know. I should water my plants...”
Aizawa laughed, holding the door open for L. Matsuda stared, wondering if L wanted to leave so he could have a normal night out and go drinking and sing karaoke or something without having to worry that he might be killed.
“Ah, Matsuda!” Matsuda turned, hearing Raito call out quickly, looking panicked. “-san,” he added belatedly.
L turned, his face a picture of patience.
“Yes, Ryuuzaki?” he asked. Raito swallowed.
“Are you sure you can't stay?” he asked. Matsuda could see him struggle over the words. “I- we could use your help, and with the Kira case taking a new direction-”
“Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine,” L said, eyes sparkling. “After all, you're so smart, Ryuuzaki-! I'll probably just get in the way...”
Aizawa laughed, leading L through the door.
“Really, Matsuda, you're smart too, at times...”
“Ah, you really think so, Aizawa?”
The door closed, and Raito turned back to the computer, folding his arms and scowling.
“He's having far too much fun with this,” he muttered darkly. “It's not acting class, for god's sake.”
Matsuda couldn't stop a smile.
“And you're not?” he teased. A vein pulsed in Raito's temple, and he turned to glare at Matsuda.
“Of course not,” he said, his tone short. “This is insane. I didn't realize the sheer amount of work that goes into coordinating everything and documenting and encrypting every action that is taken... and trying to explain things to the rest of the team... I don't know how Ryuuzaki does it.”
“You're not to tell him that,” Raito said sharply, as Matsuda opened his mouth. Matsuda only laughed and closed it, amused. Raito sighed, glancing up at the clock.
“It is late,” he said, musing. “It's almost ten. I guess I can go to bed early, now that L's not insisting we stay up until three in the morning...”
Matsuda tried to suppress a yawn and failed, and Raito laughed.
“Here,” Raito said, fishing in his pocket. “I'll unlock the cuffs - there's no use in keeping up appearances right now, is there? You go on ahead, I'm going to shut this down.”
Hesitating as Raito unlocked it, Matsuda bit his lip, skeptical. They weren't supposed to let Raito out of their sight, were they? But it was clear that Raito wasn't Kira, after all... and he could take a nice, warm shower...
Mind made up, Matsuda skipped over to the bedroom.
Whistling as he gathered up the things for a shower, Matsuda paused at the full-length mirrors all along the closet doors. It was incredible, Matsuda thought, poking his cheek. He really looked like Raito.
Of course, he'd known he was in Raito's body all day. But it was one thing to know that you were in someone else's body - it was quite another to watch you make that body react like it were your own.
Matsuda trailed a finger over his face, leaning towards the window. Golden-brown eyes looked back at him, unlike Matsuda's own chocolate brown. He touched his lips softly, the split almost scabbed over, before glancing down at the rest of him.
...he was in Raito's body.
Matsuda hadn't even considered exploring until now.
Biting his lip, shooting a hesitant look at the door, Matsuda quickly pulled off his shirt, pausing to examine Raito's body in the mirror. Lean, defined muscles stood out, and Matsuda examined himself in the mirror, slowly running his hands over his arms and chest. He felt his face flush slightly, and he slowly ran a hand down his chest to his abs.
“Sexy, aren't I?”
Whirling around, Matsuda burned with shame as Raito came in, smirking. The smirk looked distinctly odd on L's face, Matsuda noted dimly, before quickly retorting.
“I-I was going to take a shower! It's perfectly normal to take your clothes off before you take a shower-!”
“Oh, hush,” Raito said dismissively, moving over to the mirror next to him. “You were ogling and you know it. It's fine. Besides, I've been dying to see what L been keeping hidden under this sweater all this time...”
Matsuda opened his mouth to retort, only to fall silent and gape as Raito slowly removed the sweater.
L was skinny, Matsuda noticed first - almost dangerously so. Raito stretched slightly, and Matsuda could count his ribs. His skin was freakishly pale all over, as if he'd never seen the sunlight before, and his chest was completely hairless.
But the biggest surprise were the scars.
Long, thin scars ran all over his abdomen and back, flesh slightly raised. They were arranged diagonally, as if L had been tied to something and systematically cut over and over again, or as if he'd been whipped with a blade. The lines were jagged and deep, judging from the raised flesh, and Matsuda shivered at the thought of such a terrible pain.
Swallowing hard, Matsuda watched as Raito traced one of them and shivered.
“This...” Raito breathed, eyes wide, staring into the mirror. “This is why he always crouches... he instinctively protects his abdomen, where all his organs are...”
Matsuda wondered if the slouching could be explained too, by some other traumatic incident, like being tied to a post and beaten repeatedly, before shuddering at the thought.
“I can't believe this,” Raito said quietly, tracing another one on his chest. “All these scars, and L never said anything. He just kept quiet...”
Suddenly, Matsuda became aware of the feeling that they were doing something wrong.
“No, don't,” he said, pushing L's shirt at him, looking away. “Raito-kun, this is wrong. We shouldn't be looking at Ryuuzaki like this.”
“Why not?” Raito asked. “You were looking at me the same way, and you can be sure that L's probably at home looking at you all over too.”
Matsuda nearly fainted at the idea of L examining him in the nude, but hurried on, face distinctly red.
“No, Raito-! It's different. Look at this. Look at L...”
Almost involuntarily, Matsuda traced one of L's scars, making them both shiver.
“We can't look at this if Ryuuzaki doesn't want us to,” Matsuda said quietly, meeting Raito's eyes in the mirror. “If Ryuuzaki wants to keep this part of him secret, he has the right to do so.”
There was a long silence, before finally, Raito began to pull the sweater back over his head.
“I guess you're right,” he said, fixing it. He laughed, hollowly. “But wow. I've always wanted to see L shirtless. I just didn't expect that.”
“Yeah,” Matsuda nodded mindlessly, before freezing. “Wait, what?”
“Oh, come on,” Raito said, looking at Matsuda, his eyes glittering with amusement. “Don't tell me it surprises you.”
“You wanted to see L shirtless?” Matsuda said, shocked. “Wait, why? What? Since when??”
“To be specific, I've wanted to see L naked,” Raito said dryly. “You don't know how infuriating it is to be shackled to him 24/7, but never get to see him with his guard down. And when he keeps sucking on his thumb all the time and makes those little moans in his fitful sleep, and I never get a chance to, you know, take care of things... it's enough to drive anyone crazy.”
“Oh my god!!” Matsuda shrieked, eyes bulging. “You- you like L!!”
Raito looked at Matsuda like he was crazy.
“Are you kidding me?” he said, incredulous. “I love L.”
“But- but-” Matsuda sputtered, face turning red with indignation. “But- you're a boy!”
“So?” Raito said calmly, picking up a comb and attempting to run it through L's hair.
“You can't like another boy!” Matsuda said, face beet red. “And anyway, you like Misa, don't you, so you can't-”
“Oh, grow up.” Raito winced, gently tugging, trying to extract the comb from L's hair. “This is the twenty-first century. Being gay isn't a big deal anymore.”
“Oh my god!!” Matsuda exclaimed, wringing his hands. “I can't- I can't believe you like L-!”
Freeing the comb, Raito set it down, giving Matsuda a look.
“You're being awfully oblivious,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Why, just look at you. You're obviously infatuated with both L and me.”
“What?!”
Raito laughed.
“Oh, come on. You know you are,” Raito teased, getting a brush from inside a drawer and removing a few long hairs. “You're always all red and flustered around L. Ryuuzaki, can I get you coffee? Ryuuzaki, do you need help with anything? Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki...” Raito imitated, raising his voice and affecting a silly tone. Matsuda flushed darkly.
“I do not!”
“And then there's me,” Raito continued, gently working the brush through L's hair. “You're always looking at me. Not like you're about to pass out from stress, but like you never want to leave. You're intoxicated by me. And you know it.”
“I'm not!” Matsuda objected. “I'm not!”
“The first thing you do is come in here and pretend you just want to take a shower when all you want to do is feel me up,” Raito said, eyes sparkling. “I'm not saying I mind it, Matsuda, but really. Self-denial is a juvenile defense mechanism. Do try to grow up a bit.”
Mind reeling, Matsuda stumbled over the the bed and fell down, covering his eyes.
“This is ridiculous...” Matsuda moaned. “This is insane...”
“Is it?” Raito quipped, and Matsuda found he didn't have an answer to that.
Part 3