Comments | artemisrae: FMA: 52 Flavours, Prompt 36

artemisrae

FMA: 52 Flavours, Prompt 36

Jul 02, 2007 22:55

Title: The Light Inside
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Theme no.: 36. Within and without with white
Pairing: Ed, Winry, Al
Rating: K+
Notes: I guess this one is technically anime-verse (references an anime-only incident) and features Ed, Winry, and Al as children. Written for ( Read more... )

fma, trio, 52flavours

Comments 13

terracottabones July 3 2007, 03:24:00 UTC

This is great stuff! It's so insightful - deep, and yet light! You touch upon true horror, and very real childhood senses, but you don't dig into them at all. Nicely done, and as poignant as it is unnerving. My only concrit is that Winry's "made bed" only needs to be "bed" because adding "made" sounds awkward. But I am totally memories-ing this.

artemisrae July 3 2007, 03:32:52 UTC

Ack! Thank you. That sentence had been revised and I skipped right over that.

I'm glad you liked it! I thought it was ironic that the alchemy had scared Winry, especially when you consider she was helping out with Gran's surgeries by 12. I figured that she'd have gotten used to shrieking automail patients, but it would definitely freak Ed and Al out. (Heck.. it would freak me out too. God bless Winry.)

lyricnonsense July 3 2007, 03:38:38 UTC

Oo, I like it. An interesting look into the differences between the Elric brothers and Winry, played with a restrained hand. Good work!

artemisrae July 3 2007, 15:18:56 UTC

Thank you! Childhood Risembool trio just warms my heart. I'm glad you liked it!

evil_little_dog July 3 2007, 11:57:57 UTC

Oooo, I like a lot. Good way to show how the kids are affected by different things.

artemisrae July 3 2007, 15:19:49 UTC

Thank you! I figure Winry must have gotten used to the horrors of automail pretty quickly if she was helping out with surgeries by 12 and the brothers, however.... not so much.

evil_little_dog July 4 2007, 01:16:37 UTC

*nod nod nod* I agree.

ghostfriendly July 6 2007, 19:14:22 UTC

Very nice idea, points put very effectively all the way through.

artemisrae July 7 2007, 20:36:39 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

dreamer1789 August 22 2007, 18:08:54 UTC

I think you've 'grasped the characters' perfectly!
What a great insight into atmosphere.
Poor boys, being 'haunted' out of the house while Winry's cool about it. ;)

artemisrae August 23 2007, 01:37:46 UTC

I think you've 'grasped the characters' perfectly!

That's so reassuring to hear! I'm just not sure if I'm settled into the FMA fandom yet.

Poor boys, being 'haunted' out of the house while Winry's cool about it.

Every once in a while I get super protective of Winry. "Make her act like she's scared of alchemy, will ya? Well let's see what Ed and Al think of automail!"

dreamer1789 August 23 2007, 06:57:14 UTC

I'm just not sure if I'm settled into the FMA fandom yet.

Lol, I think we all feel that way, starting out. At least, I know I do. ^^;

"Make her act like she's scared of alchemy, will ya? Well let's see what Ed and Al think of automail!"
You know, that makes a lot of sense. :D

So, when will the next fic be up? ;)

artemisrae August 24 2007, 00:08:20 UTC

So, when will the next fic be up?

Heh, I've sadly been neglecting 52_flavours while I finish up my monster Avatar fic, and now that it's done and I have a few fics ready to go up my beta has gone on vacation! So... when Josie gets back from CA, I shall nag at her to beta read a couple so I can post them. Sometime this weekend, probably.