Good Job Z: Boogie Man
Part 1: Sand Friends
The second part to Good Job Z, This was a tad bit longer because I over-indulge on the finer details. I like to over do it. Sorry. Sorry it took so long too. If you're even following with this. Thank you for the feedback and comments!
Word Count: 5100k
*****
Liam was fiddling with the tiny buckles of Judy’s shoes when his mum came in their shared bedroom.
“Liam, sweetheart, are you -wow, you’re up early and have been busy!”
It was a small bedroom, so tidying it up wasn’t exactly a chore. He had Judy’s baby cot in one corner and his bed in another. Separated by a small rickety old table, with its paint peeling off the edges, where Liam piled up his schoolbooks in a neat stack in front of the stained window overlooking the sandbox. Carrying his sister in one hand while the other grabbed his worn out sling bag, Liam followed his mother to the kitchen. It only took them five steps to reach the counter.
Breakfast was already packed for him; today was toast with peanut butter. Every day was toast with peanut butter. Some days would just be toast. A cool glass of milk was waiting for him.
Glass. Sand. Skinny boy with baggy t-shirt and sooty face. Images flashed through his mind. Liam remembered the reason why he was up early.
“I’ve got to run, Mum. Aunt Dee said she will pick us up at the next block since the road is blocked for some parade, remember?” (it was a riot then, not a parade but Liam didn’t need to know that)
Aunt Dee, the surrogate aunt who was a cousin to Liam’s dad had helped his mum through depression and since had grown fond of the two children, it became routine that Aunt Dee took care of Judy while Mum went out to find a job and Liam, to school.
After bumping his nose on Mum’s forehead (it was a thing they did every day after mum got slightly better), Liam shifted his sister more comfortably in his arms and bounded down the stairs slamming the door behind him.
“Boing, boing, boing” Judy exclaimed gleefully.
Liam stopped by at the sandbox where he had met that peculiar boy with a lot of hair and the big brain. He wasn’t there and Liam thought that maybe he was in school. Liam couldn’t bear the thought that he maybe did not go to school because he had been through it himself and judging by the burst of knowledge that he received yesterday, Liam would not be surprised if he found out that Z probably went to a special school. Or a science lab. He was really smart and Liam only wished he was half as smart as him.
Staring blankly at the sand, with Judy gripping him tightly so she wouldn’t fall off his arms into the wet sand, Liam noticed the additional scribbling that wasn’t there. He knew that he wrote his name - the block letters all distorted due to the light drizzling yesterday - but he realized that somebody added his own name underneath his. Liam’s heart raced. He was excited that the boy who didn’t even bother to look at him while they had a conversation about sand - as boring as it may be - actually would reply his tiny message. He had deliberately left the boy behind with his name engraved into the grains but that was so the boy would know his name. He didn’t exactly expect a reply. He felt like he was in some secret organization sending secret code to each other. He chuckled lightly, this time, really looking at the neat scribbles.
The chuckled died in the air as he realized what the rain had done. There, right underneath his was just a letter. A single letter. The remaining of the boy’s name was washed away by rainwater.
“Zzz-“ He hissed out the sound of the letter - his initials - trying hard to conjure up a name that started with the same letter. It looked like a short name. Zack? Zoo? He didn’t even know that many names that started with Z.
“Zee!” Judy shouted giggling! Liam laughed along with her, forgetting his quest to figure out the full name of the boy. He had been playing the alphabet games with her where he would make a sound of a letter and she would say the letter. Zzzz is Z, Hah is H, Fff is F and so on.
“That’s right, Judy! Zee! You’re so clever” and he hugged her tightly stepping away from the sandbox towards Aunt Dee’s awaiting car. Figuring out the name could wait, he thought to himself. But from that day on, his sand friend finally had a name. Z.
***
Liam sat down on the hard wooden chair with his head resting on hard wooden table. His eyes drooping slightly as the teacher droned on and on and on about the earth plates and how it got separated into ‘conintens’ (he had meant to say continents but he had a short tongue, he would explain in future gatherings with endless mocking about it from his friends). His mind was fuzzy and he was a little bit sleepy. Lunch break had been a treat since Miss Feona convinced one of his classmates - a pudgy ginger-haired boy named Gerry - to celebrate his birthday. His mother, the town’s baker, brought boxes and boxes of cupcakes of all sizes and colors with jelly pudding. Liam thought he’d die out food overload. His toast forgotten, squashed in between his two books.
He was looking at the back of a girl’s head who sat in front of him. She had two pigtails decorating her large head. In his stupor, Liam recognized her as Nancy. His fingers held on to his batman pencil (Aunt Dee had bought it for him when mum was out cold on his birthday) and it was dancing off the notebook with doodles and shapes unknown to Liam because he was just doing it to keep from falling asleep. To pretend that he was taking down notes about ‘conintens’ and the ‘original’ people.
“Now. Enough about how our world was made. Let’s talk about the elements that build up the world. A little pop quiz!” Squeaked the teacher in attempted enthusiasm. A few groans could be heard from the back of the class. Liam would never admit that he was among them, but he couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh. The high-achievers in his class sat up even straighter - if it was possible - with their backs rigid and their arms tapping the desks impatiently, waiting to raise their hands to answer.
“What’s three quarter of the earth?”
“That’s easy! Water! Look at the ocean” scoffs Jeremy, The class snob.
Liam continued staring into space and started drawing dinosaurs at the corner of the page while the rapid ping-pong questions and answers were thrown back and forth.
“Okay let’s make it a little harder. If anyone can answer this, I’d give you a Willy Wonka chocolate bar. I bought an extra one with nuts in it.”
Finally, he had each and every kid’s attention and Mr Puneet made a mental note to always bring chocolates to his future classes.
“The answer to this question can be found in later chapters of your textbook so I don’t expect anyone to know it yet. But let’s see who’s been doing some extra reading. What is glass - the things we use every day like in windows - made out of?”
Silence followed the teacher’s questions and Liam pressed so hard on his desk, the tip of his pencil lead broke. Even Jeremy was frowning, mentally rummaging through his brain for the answer. Mr Puneet was scanning the room with a fading smile until his eyes fell upon Liam. The small kid who was older than the rest of his classmates by a year and a half had his hand raised. It wasn’t a confident punch-the-air type of hand raise. It was a slow, hesitant gliding of a hand that didn’t even go above his ears.
“Liam? Do you know the answer?” his teacher prompted him. All Liam could think of, was the sandbox and those soot-smudged feet. He nodded weakly.
“Sand”, came his short reply. Gulping. He didn’t even know if this information was true. He didn’t read it somewhere, someone had told him this particular fact and he was quick to trust the informer. When Mr Puneet didn’t say anything for a few seconds, Liam was beginning to doubt himself.
“How is sand made into glass, then Liam?” A wide smile was beginning to form on the old man’s face and Liam gain some confidence in his friend’s intelligence.
“If sand is burned. Under really hot….. fire or something” The whole class was staring at him. Liam felt his face burn instead of the sand.
“That’s correct too! Under extremely high temperature, a certain type of sand will form glass” His teacher was so excited, Liam could hear wheezes as he caught his breath in excitement.
“Just to take it a little further, it’s not in the textbooks so it’s alright if you’re blank on this one. What is the correct term for this type of sand, Liam?”
Liam’s mind reeled back to yesterday. It was all orange because it was sunset. He remembered having the sand in between his fingers. He remembered those dirty fingers in pill-rolling motion in front of him. He remembered that soft voice, barely a whisper, speaking to him. Telling him about sand and glass. He remembered thinking the term sounded silly to him.
“Something… silly…” he simply said. Being honest.
“You’re close, Liam my boy! It’s Silica! Not just sili. That’s very impressive!”
***
Liam climbed into the backseat of Aunt Dee’s car, kissed Judy that was dreaming away on the baby car seat, informed his day was fine to his aunt and sat back with a really contented smile. A fat slab of chocolate from Willy Wonka tucked neatly into the front pocket of his bag.
And he had no intention of eating it.
***
His euphoria from today’s class immediately dissipated the minute he stepped into his house. It had the familiar sour scent filling his nostrils and goosebumps erupted down his back. He was afraid of what he might see beyond the kitchen counter.
“Helen?!” Aunt Dee asked out loud. A muffled moan could be heard from the couch. Clinks of glass bottles made something snap in Liam. This was not a drill but a situation that happened one too many a times that Liam ran on auto-pilot.
First step: Ignore whatever you see. Act like everything is fine.
He turned towards the tall, slender lady that was carrying the sleeping form of his baby sister and held up his hands.
“Aunt Dee, let me have Judy so I can put her in her cot.”
Second step: Calm Judy and put her to sleep.
He tugged Judy a little bit harder than intended from Aunt Dee’s arms - who was staring at her sister-in-law in shock - that the little girl was awoken from her slumber. She started crying.
Shit.
Readjusting her weight over his arms and shoulder, he gently rocked her while whispering soothing words. Hushing her. His legs were quickly stepping past the small living room where his mother laid barely sober without taking a glance. He’d have to deal with her later.
Putting the agitated girl down her cot, Liam cupped her face and kissed her nose and forehead softly. Hummed a melody that was familiar only to them. She was looking at him with clear, bright eyes as he promised her that everything would be just fine and Liam realized that maybe, just maybe, Judy understood things that were happening around her.
“Sleep, love. I’ll get dinner ready for you.” He whispered as her eyes fluttered shut, succumbing to the deep slumber she was in.
Third Step: Get a meal ready
Because Mum must have had an empty stomach when she was drinking away whatever sorrows she had this time. Because Judy was going to wake up hungry. Because Liam still didn’t plan on eating that Willy Wonka chocolate bar. He was saving it.
Letting his tired legs carry him back to the kitchen, he rummaged the medicine drawer - a drawer he prepared himself with Aspirin, antiseptic ointment, band-aids, cough syrup and other necessities for minor ailments - and popped two tablets out onto the palm of his hand for Mum. He was filling a glass of warm water when he craned his neck to look at Mum. She was mumbling about being fired to his aunt and was wiping away silent tears.
“I have two kids to support, Dee. How am I going to cope now?” she moaned into her open palms as Aunt Dee comforted her, rubbing her back in soothing circles. Liam knew that because he had done it countless times.
“Liam, how about you go on and play downstairs? I’ll fix dinner for all of you” Her aunt offered in a soft voice. She knew Liam would love to get out of the situation and he was grateful for that, but Liam felt that it was his responsibility.
“Are you sure? I can do it. I’m a big boy now” Liam answered her. It was no big deal. A day without having to go out and play wasn’t that big a sacrifice. Although he was excited to see his sand friend…
“Nah, I’m a big girl too, sweetheart. I’ll help your mum out. I’ll make Mac and Cheese.”
Liam hesitated once more before finally deciding he should leave the house, if not to the sandbox, maybe for some fresh air. Now would be a good time to run, literally. Taking his battered running shoes, Liam stepped out of the house wondering if he had the courage to sneak past the gates and run in Sunville Park next door.
***
Liam didn’t end up sneaking past the gates. The group of scary looking men sitting around a small fire dressed in heavy coats that looked like it hadn’t been washed for centuries was looking at him hungrily. Instead, he was sitting at the edge of the sandbox, the wood crumbling with rusty nails sticking out dangerously, looking down at his worn shoes. New shoes would be nice but Liam knew well enough that he should be thankful for what he had. He was in the middle of tying his equally old shoelaces, its edges frayed and wearing thin.
You make two loops of each string. Like bunny ears. Then, you cross the ears and one ear goes into the other. His non-existent dad’s instruction playing in his mind. One of the few things he remembered about the elusive old man.
“Tada!” he exclaimed to himself in a whisper, smiling to himself, vowing one day he would teach Judy the same trick, when she no longer had to wear the buckled ones. Then he saw a pair of tanned feet stepping into his view, standing just in front of his sneaker-clad ones. It had a familiar yet foreign sense to it. The skin adhering close to the bones underneath it, Liam realized why it looked different. This pair of feet was scrubbed clean. And this pair of feet had rubber slippers on. The last time he saw them; they were bare and covered in black soot.
His head whipped up in a snapping motion. Of course he wasn’t going to be meeting the boy’s eyes. He wasn’t looking at Liam. Liam felt he had known the boy for a quite a bit already just by expecting his friend’s inability to hold eye contact and that twitching fingers. He was staring at the spot where the ant’s nest was supposed to be there. It wasn’t there anymore, now that Liam followed his unwavering gaze. Washed away. Liam thought that sand was really fragile. It slides and slips through fingers and gets easily washed away with just a rainwater. Liam suddenly felt like that. He was sand. Light. Easily shifted by things happening around him. Nothing solid. What he didn’t understand then was, sure, sand was nothing too strong, but in abundant, it creates enough mass to stay put. Like in the ocean. The bottom of the sea under all the saltwater is sand, isn’t it? He may not have such understanding at 10 but in time, he will and by then, the angels prayed that it wasn’t too late.
“Hey….Zee-“, Liam hesitated. He completely forgot what names started with Z! He was too busy thinking about conintens and silica (he knew that now) that figuring out the puzzle that was his new acquaintance’s name was out the window.
“Zee..” the other boy repeated after him. His head inclined towards Liam. Liam held his breath in anticipation of finally being able to make eye contact but deflated his lungs dejectedly when those eyes were still stuck on a fixed point, despite the head movement. Well, at least there was improvement from yesterday.
Then the finger tic started again as the skinny boy - this time dressed in a large holey jersey that went passed his knee - repeated after Liam. The single syllable phonic sound of a buzzing bee.
“Zee, Zee, zzzee” he reverberated. His dry lips twitching to pull up at the corners and Liam had never been happier to have made someone try to smile. When Judy smiled, it lit up an entire room but this small smile had the potential of outshining the sun itself.
“Zee?” Liam injected a tone of inquiry to confirm the name of this mystery boy.
“Zee.”, came the affirmation, with a smile and Liam did not miss the fresh, new fine lines emerging at the corner of his eyes. It was gone immediately as Z was back to his somber self. Frowning, as though scolding himself that smiling wasn’t allowed. Out of the many mental notes he made to himself, making that crinkle appear again on Z’s face was definitely Liam’s priority.
***
Liam kept on looking over at the gates to Sunville Park, his legs itching to stretch, while Z poked through the sand, evidently, searching for the missing ants. He kept on muttering words to himself. Sometimes, short bursts of ‘ants’ and ‘woosh woosh’. Sometimes, a train of complicated phrases that sounded like what magicians would say. It sounded foreign to Liam. Like a different language. None of them wanted to talk, contented to simply be around each other in comfortable silence. Liam’s mind was preoccupied with Mum and sleeping Judy anyway to say much to Z. He wanted to run but those men are terrifying and he didn’t feel as brave to wander out alone. Then a thought occurred to him.
“Hey Z.” Liam called out, not looking back. Behind him, Z stilled. Dead in his tracks of making a new opening for the drowned out ants in the damp sand. He didn’t look up but his ears were trained on Liam’s next words.
“Do you think we could sneak out from here to go for a run? I wanna go but those guys are freaking me out!” Liam whispered even though they were far from earshot of those dark forms bundled up at a gate.
“Why do they scare you?” Z surprised Liam with a question. He has been fairly quiet up to this point.
“I don’t know. They look like they would eat me. One in particular, since just now. He’s always hiding in a big group there. Boogie man”, said Liam, still staring at one lone man who had his eyes trained on the two boys. Liam broke eye contact. Chills running down his spine.
“Boogie man? Boogie. Boogie. Boogie”
“Yea, you know. Like those monsters that’s under your bed?” Liam tried not to be affected with Z’s repetitive speeches.
“My bed is on the floor. There are no monsters underneath it.” he told Liam, simply.
Liam fell silent. There was still so much to find out about his little friend.
“So boogie man is stopping you from running in that park just beyond the gates?” Z went on. His fingers, now that they have stopped poking through sand, were snapping at a steady non-musical beat. Like a ticking of a grandfather’s clock.
“You can say that”
With that, Z got up and walked towards the entrance to Sunville Park, closing in on the mass of hooded figures. Liam, without thinking, ran after him, tugging on the back of his jersey to stop him.
“Are you crazy?!He’s gunna eat us or something!!” he hissed incredulously as Z kept on walking forward. His eyes trained on the boogie man. Liam noticed Z’s abnormal gait - his legs didn’t swing as far out and his stance were short, like he was in pain, his toe off were draggy, the front of his rubber slippers scraping the badly tarred road - but kept his mouth shut.
“I’ll help. I talk to the boogieman and you can run” Z huffed out, already tired but his stride -or lack thereof- didn’t falter.
When they reached the mysterious man, Z tapped out his right foot three times and snapped his left fingers twice. The Boogieman continued to look at them with empty eyes. Liam thought the whole thing was weird. Like it was some secret code between them. Or maybe it was just one of Z’s tics.
“Let us through” Z said suddenly looking away from the man, his dainty digits resuming its rolling motion. The whisperings ceased to a deafening silence as the rest of the homeless people stopped their conversation to stare at them. Z held out his palm like holding out an invisible peace offering.
Liam held his breath, the tension mounting up that he felt suffocated.
“Uncle Jay, mairhairbani. Please”
***
“HE WAS YOUR UNCLE?!” Liam bellowed from across Sunville Park, having ran two rounds for as fast as he could before his legs started to burn and he was forced to slow it down to jogging. The sun was low in the sky and most of its residents have already gone home. Z hung back around the steely exercise devices that only high-end parks would have, unlike their measly sandbox.
Dragging his heavy legs, Liam came to a complete stop where Z stood admiring the mechanical things to the spinning bars. It was dark so Liam once again missed the chance to look at Z’s eyes. Soon, trying to look into Z’s eyes will be a game for him. A personal goal. But right now, he could tell that those eyes - orbs that held a thousand and one secrets and endless mysteries - were flicking through the rapid twirls and turns of the basic exercise machines and Liam had an inkling that Z already has the functioning parts mapped out in his mind already. He didn’t know how much of a genius his friend is but Z seemed to be that sort of smart boy.
“Tap. Tap. Tap” the echoes persisted as Z tapped the wheel to keep it spinning. His attention still locked on the blasted thing.
ldquo;If he was your uncle how come he sleeps outside?” Liam asked, curious. He didn’t understand why a family member would be left outside. No matter how messed up his mum was, he’d never let her sleep outside too and Mum can be a pain when she’s drunk.
All he got was a nonchalant shrug before Z was whispering slowly, “He’s crazy, you know”.
Liam stared at him like the fidgety boy started breaking down in a dance routine and singing at the top of his lungs. Of all people to call another person crazy…..
“Besides, we don’t have space at home” and Liam’s confusion was understandable because he didn’t know about the seven other people occupying Z’s shoebox of a house. Not that Liam even knew about Z living in a shoebox.
“Come on let’s go.” Liam walked away from the park, deciding to let that awkward information slide. Of course there’s plenty of space for family…
e didn’t have to look back to know Z was following him. He appreciated the companionship. The familiar scrape of rubber slippers against the ground as Z tried to catch up with his long stride. Liam counted the seconds between his steps so that Z would walk by him at the same speed.
They walked in silence. It wasn’t particularly gawky but it wasn’t comfortable either. Z seemed to be deep in thought while Liam was thinking of the funny things he had heard from his friend. It must be due to their differences that made everything Z say absolutely confusing. That and Z has a brain of a professor. He even knew an entirely different language!
“Oh yeah… how… what was it that you said to your Uncle? When you asked if we could go to the park?” He phrased them carefully.
“Urdu”
“Ooo-what?” if a string could describe the inside of Liam’s brain right now, it would be a tangle of impossible knots.
“Ur-du. My family is from there. So we know how to speak Urdu. Pakistan language” Z’s voice faded as he zoned out again. Lips smacking, as though he tasted something bitter when talking about his homeland. He kept on mouthing the words ‘Paki’ under his breath but Liam was better at ignoring it now.
“Where is Pakistan? We had class today and they were talking about ‘conintens’ and I was totally crap at it. But then again we were discussing about sand and I totally aced it! Thanks to you! Which reminds me, I’ve got something for you but I didn’t bring it remind me next time.” Liam started ranting out his day, grateful that he had somebody to talk to, even if he’s unsure if Z was listening at all. It has been awhile since he had a proper friend.
***
That night, after dinner, after fussing over how Judy won’t eat her mac and cheese, after thanking Aunt Dee profusely for the meal and for taking care of his mother, Liam sat at his desk buried under piles of homework. He was a slow learner but he was hardworking so he didn’t look up once until he got question 4 of simple maths down. He was gonna leave the world map homework until last minute since it wasn’t due till next week. It would take months and maybe years for him to get all the places labeled right.
He did look up finally - after calculating the last math question - and gazed out his window, the soft silvery moonlight illumination the sandbox in front of him. He wasn’t exactly paying attention to what he was seeing instead he was listening to the muffled conversations between Aunt Dee and Mum. She was much more awake now and kept on complaining about her non-existent job. Liam felt that maybe it was time he get a job too. Maybe then he’ll be able to help his mum and his sister. Judy. Precious little Judy, who was now lying down in her baby cot. Problem was, she wasn’t a baby anymore. Her body angled in odd angles to fit herself in the much too small crib.
Liam sighed. It would be great to have a bed so big that it would fit everybody. As wide of the sandbox. He could roll around in it endlessly and Judy wouldn’t have contractures in the future. So she wouldn’t have stiff joints when she got older. Eyeing the sandbox as if to memorize its size for future sleeping furniture browsing purposes, Liam noticed a tiny form crouched in the middle of the sandbox.
It was so dark outside save for the bright, bright moon that the skin of the crouched figure looked glowing.
That can’t be him….. Liam thought to himself. Sure he left Z there - his holey jersey grazed the sand as he squatted down to start scratching the sand with random lines - but he didn’t think Z would still be around. He vaguely remembered Z iterate ‘conintens’ to himself.
“I can teach you about your conintens” Z has said before Liam waved him goodbye.
It was unmistakably Z. The large shirt going past his knee, the rubber slippers and the floppy hair. (It looked so soft with the moon casting silver lines through it.) The lone boy in the middle of the deserted sandbox slowly stood up, holding his hip. It was probably aching from being in that position for too long. Liam narrowed his eyes to better see Z in the moonlight. Then Z was facing directly towards his apartment block. The moon shining behind him, casting a silhouette. His head tilted up as though he was staring up at Liam’s window. As though he knew that Liam’s window would overlook the sandbox. As though he knew exactly where Liam’s window was. Second floor the third window to the right. Liam thought it was impossible.
And then Z waved and walked slowly out of the sandbox, slipping into the dark shadows on the opposite building. Crumbling on its foundation.
Finally focusing on what it was that had Z crouched down for hours on end in the sandbox for, Liam gasped and stared in a mixture of disbelief and awe. “Z….”
He had drawn a detailed, labeled, world map across the expanse of the sandbox. An exact copy of what Liam had just seen in his books earlier.
Suddenly, a whip of thunder cracked the silent night, making Judy stir in her sleep. He stared out his window for as long as he could. Not wanting to forget the masterpiece Z had left in order to help him learn about the world. It was all going to waste in a matter of minutes when fat droplets of rain started to pour out the clouds. But he couldn’t ignore Judy’s fretful whimpers. He gently lifted Judy out of her crib and carried her to his bed instead. They could squeeze in together comfortably. A practiced move whenever Mum was finally in deep sleep.
Hushing her, Liam sang to her. A modified version of their lullaby.
“You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You’ll know that I will save you
From all of the unclean”
Liam held Judy tighter in his embrace as she snuggled even closer. The patting of the rain against the window a steady beat that lulled them both to sleep. Before Liam took his last breath of consciousness, all he could think about was how the world map would be distorted tomorrow against the sand. Just like his distorted life. But he thought that Z would be the one person who would be able to carve it all back together again into perfection.
The second part to Good Job Z, This was a tad bit longer because I over-indulge on the finer details. I like to over do it. Sorry. Sorry it took so long too. If you're even following with this. Thank you for the feedback and comments!
Word Count: 5100k
*****
Liam was fiddling with the tiny buckles of Judy’s shoes when his mum came in their shared bedroom.
“Liam, sweetheart, are you -wow, you’re up early and have been busy!”
It was a small bedroom, so tidying it up wasn’t exactly a chore. He had Judy’s baby cot in one corner and his bed in another. Separated by a small rickety old table, with its paint peeling off the edges, where Liam piled up his schoolbooks in a neat stack in front of the stained window overlooking the sandbox. Carrying his sister in one hand while the other grabbed his worn out sling bag, Liam followed his mother to the kitchen. It only took them five steps to reach the counter.
Breakfast was already packed for him; today was toast with peanut butter. Every day was toast with peanut butter. Some days would just be toast. A cool glass of milk was waiting for him.
Glass. Sand. Skinny boy with baggy t-shirt and sooty face. Images flashed through his mind. Liam remembered the reason why he was up early.
“I’ve got to run, Mum. Aunt Dee said she will pick us up at the next block since the road is blocked for some parade, remember?” (it was a riot then, not a parade but Liam didn’t need to know that)
Aunt Dee, the surrogate aunt who was a cousin to Liam’s dad had helped his mum through depression and since had grown fond of the two children, it became routine that Aunt Dee took care of Judy while Mum went out to find a job and Liam, to school.
After bumping his nose on Mum’s forehead (it was a thing they did every day after mum got slightly better), Liam shifted his sister more comfortably in his arms and bounded down the stairs slamming the door behind him.
“Boing, boing, boing” Judy exclaimed gleefully.
Liam stopped by at the sandbox where he had met that peculiar boy with a lot of hair and the big brain. He wasn’t there and Liam thought that maybe he was in school. Liam couldn’t bear the thought that he maybe did not go to school because he had been through it himself and judging by the burst of knowledge that he received yesterday, Liam would not be surprised if he found out that Z probably went to a special school. Or a science lab. He was really smart and Liam only wished he was half as smart as him.
Staring blankly at the sand, with Judy gripping him tightly so she wouldn’t fall off his arms into the wet sand, Liam noticed the additional scribbling that wasn’t there. He knew that he wrote his name - the block letters all distorted due to the light drizzling yesterday - but he realized that somebody added his own name underneath his. Liam’s heart raced. He was excited that the boy who didn’t even bother to look at him while they had a conversation about sand - as boring as it may be - actually would reply his tiny message. He had deliberately left the boy behind with his name engraved into the grains but that was so the boy would know his name. He didn’t exactly expect a reply. He felt like he was in some secret organization sending secret code to each other. He chuckled lightly, this time, really looking at the neat scribbles.
The chuckled died in the air as he realized what the rain had done. There, right underneath his was just a letter. A single letter. The remaining of the boy’s name was washed away by rainwater.
“Zzz-“ He hissed out the sound of the letter - his initials - trying hard to conjure up a name that started with the same letter. It looked like a short name. Zack? Zoo? He didn’t even know that many names that started with Z.
“Zee!” Judy shouted giggling! Liam laughed along with her, forgetting his quest to figure out the full name of the boy. He had been playing the alphabet games with her where he would make a sound of a letter and she would say the letter. Zzzz is Z, Hah is H, Fff is F and so on.
“That’s right, Judy! Zee! You’re so clever” and he hugged her tightly stepping away from the sandbox towards Aunt Dee’s awaiting car. Figuring out the name could wait, he thought to himself. But from that day on, his sand friend finally had a name. Z.
***
Liam sat down on the hard wooden chair with his head resting on hard wooden table. His eyes drooping slightly as the teacher droned on and on and on about the earth plates and how it got separated into ‘conintens’ (he had meant to say continents but he had a short tongue, he would explain in future gatherings with endless mocking about it from his friends). His mind was fuzzy and he was a little bit sleepy. Lunch break had been a treat since Miss Feona convinced one of his classmates - a pudgy ginger-haired boy named Gerry - to celebrate his birthday. His mother, the town’s baker, brought boxes and boxes of cupcakes of all sizes and colors with jelly pudding. Liam thought he’d die out food overload. His toast forgotten, squashed in between his two books.
He was looking at the back of a girl’s head who sat in front of him. She had two pigtails decorating her large head. In his stupor, Liam recognized her as Nancy. His fingers held on to his batman pencil (Aunt Dee had bought it for him when mum was out cold on his birthday) and it was dancing off the notebook with doodles and shapes unknown to Liam because he was just doing it to keep from falling asleep. To pretend that he was taking down notes about ‘conintens’ and the ‘original’ people.
“Now. Enough about how our world was made. Let’s talk about the elements that build up the world. A little pop quiz!” Squeaked the teacher in attempted enthusiasm. A few groans could be heard from the back of the class. Liam would never admit that he was among them, but he couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh. The high-achievers in his class sat up even straighter - if it was possible - with their backs rigid and their arms tapping the desks impatiently, waiting to raise their hands to answer.
“What’s three quarter of the earth?”
“That’s easy! Water! Look at the ocean” scoffs Jeremy, The class snob.
Liam continued staring into space and started drawing dinosaurs at the corner of the page while the rapid ping-pong questions and answers were thrown back and forth.
“Okay let’s make it a little harder. If anyone can answer this, I’d give you a Willy Wonka chocolate bar. I bought an extra one with nuts in it.”
Finally, he had each and every kid’s attention and Mr Puneet made a mental note to always bring chocolates to his future classes.
“The answer to this question can be found in later chapters of your textbook so I don’t expect anyone to know it yet. But let’s see who’s been doing some extra reading. What is glass - the things we use every day like in windows - made out of?”
Silence followed the teacher’s questions and Liam pressed so hard on his desk, the tip of his pencil lead broke. Even Jeremy was frowning, mentally rummaging through his brain for the answer. Mr Puneet was scanning the room with a fading smile until his eyes fell upon Liam. The small kid who was older than the rest of his classmates by a year and a half had his hand raised. It wasn’t a confident punch-the-air type of hand raise. It was a slow, hesitant gliding of a hand that didn’t even go above his ears.
“Liam? Do you know the answer?” his teacher prompted him. All Liam could think of, was the sandbox and those soot-smudged feet. He nodded weakly.
“Sand”, came his short reply. Gulping. He didn’t even know if this information was true. He didn’t read it somewhere, someone had told him this particular fact and he was quick to trust the informer. When Mr Puneet didn’t say anything for a few seconds, Liam was beginning to doubt himself.
“How is sand made into glass, then Liam?” A wide smile was beginning to form on the old man’s face and Liam gain some confidence in his friend’s intelligence.
“If sand is burned. Under really hot….. fire or something” The whole class was staring at him. Liam felt his face burn instead of the sand.
“That’s correct too! Under extremely high temperature, a certain type of sand will form glass” His teacher was so excited, Liam could hear wheezes as he caught his breath in excitement.
“Just to take it a little further, it’s not in the textbooks so it’s alright if you’re blank on this one. What is the correct term for this type of sand, Liam?”
Liam’s mind reeled back to yesterday. It was all orange because it was sunset. He remembered having the sand in between his fingers. He remembered those dirty fingers in pill-rolling motion in front of him. He remembered that soft voice, barely a whisper, speaking to him. Telling him about sand and glass. He remembered thinking the term sounded silly to him.
“Something… silly…” he simply said. Being honest.
“You’re close, Liam my boy! It’s Silica! Not just sili. That’s very impressive!”
***
Liam climbed into the backseat of Aunt Dee’s car, kissed Judy that was dreaming away on the baby car seat, informed his day was fine to his aunt and sat back with a really contented smile. A fat slab of chocolate from Willy Wonka tucked neatly into the front pocket of his bag.
And he had no intention of eating it.
***
His euphoria from today’s class immediately dissipated the minute he stepped into his house. It had the familiar sour scent filling his nostrils and goosebumps erupted down his back. He was afraid of what he might see beyond the kitchen counter.
“Helen?!” Aunt Dee asked out loud. A muffled moan could be heard from the couch. Clinks of glass bottles made something snap in Liam. This was not a drill but a situation that happened one too many a times that Liam ran on auto-pilot.
First step: Ignore whatever you see. Act like everything is fine.
He turned towards the tall, slender lady that was carrying the sleeping form of his baby sister and held up his hands.
“Aunt Dee, let me have Judy so I can put her in her cot.”
Second step: Calm Judy and put her to sleep.
He tugged Judy a little bit harder than intended from Aunt Dee’s arms - who was staring at her sister-in-law in shock - that the little girl was awoken from her slumber. She started crying.
Shit.
Readjusting her weight over his arms and shoulder, he gently rocked her while whispering soothing words. Hushing her. His legs were quickly stepping past the small living room where his mother laid barely sober without taking a glance. He’d have to deal with her later.
Putting the agitated girl down her cot, Liam cupped her face and kissed her nose and forehead softly. Hummed a melody that was familiar only to them. She was looking at him with clear, bright eyes as he promised her that everything would be just fine and Liam realized that maybe, just maybe, Judy understood things that were happening around her.
“Sleep, love. I’ll get dinner ready for you.” He whispered as her eyes fluttered shut, succumbing to the deep slumber she was in.
Third Step: Get a meal ready
Because Mum must have had an empty stomach when she was drinking away whatever sorrows she had this time. Because Judy was going to wake up hungry. Because Liam still didn’t plan on eating that Willy Wonka chocolate bar. He was saving it.
Letting his tired legs carry him back to the kitchen, he rummaged the medicine drawer - a drawer he prepared himself with Aspirin, antiseptic ointment, band-aids, cough syrup and other necessities for minor ailments - and popped two tablets out onto the palm of his hand for Mum. He was filling a glass of warm water when he craned his neck to look at Mum. She was mumbling about being fired to his aunt and was wiping away silent tears.
“I have two kids to support, Dee. How am I going to cope now?” she moaned into her open palms as Aunt Dee comforted her, rubbing her back in soothing circles. Liam knew that because he had done it countless times.
“Liam, how about you go on and play downstairs? I’ll fix dinner for all of you” Her aunt offered in a soft voice. She knew Liam would love to get out of the situation and he was grateful for that, but Liam felt that it was his responsibility.
“Are you sure? I can do it. I’m a big boy now” Liam answered her. It was no big deal. A day without having to go out and play wasn’t that big a sacrifice. Although he was excited to see his sand friend…
“Nah, I’m a big girl too, sweetheart. I’ll help your mum out. I’ll make Mac and Cheese.”
Liam hesitated once more before finally deciding he should leave the house, if not to the sandbox, maybe for some fresh air. Now would be a good time to run, literally. Taking his battered running shoes, Liam stepped out of the house wondering if he had the courage to sneak past the gates and run in Sunville Park next door.
***
Liam didn’t end up sneaking past the gates. The group of scary looking men sitting around a small fire dressed in heavy coats that looked like it hadn’t been washed for centuries was looking at him hungrily. Instead, he was sitting at the edge of the sandbox, the wood crumbling with rusty nails sticking out dangerously, looking down at his worn shoes. New shoes would be nice but Liam knew well enough that he should be thankful for what he had. He was in the middle of tying his equally old shoelaces, its edges frayed and wearing thin.
You make two loops of each string. Like bunny ears. Then, you cross the ears and one ear goes into the other. His non-existent dad’s instruction playing in his mind. One of the few things he remembered about the elusive old man.
“Tada!” he exclaimed to himself in a whisper, smiling to himself, vowing one day he would teach Judy the same trick, when she no longer had to wear the buckled ones. Then he saw a pair of tanned feet stepping into his view, standing just in front of his sneaker-clad ones. It had a familiar yet foreign sense to it. The skin adhering close to the bones underneath it, Liam realized why it looked different. This pair of feet was scrubbed clean. And this pair of feet had rubber slippers on. The last time he saw them; they were bare and covered in black soot.
His head whipped up in a snapping motion. Of course he wasn’t going to be meeting the boy’s eyes. He wasn’t looking at Liam. Liam felt he had known the boy for a quite a bit already just by expecting his friend’s inability to hold eye contact and that twitching fingers. He was staring at the spot where the ant’s nest was supposed to be there. It wasn’t there anymore, now that Liam followed his unwavering gaze. Washed away. Liam thought that sand was really fragile. It slides and slips through fingers and gets easily washed away with just a rainwater. Liam suddenly felt like that. He was sand. Light. Easily shifted by things happening around him. Nothing solid. What he didn’t understand then was, sure, sand was nothing too strong, but in abundant, it creates enough mass to stay put. Like in the ocean. The bottom of the sea under all the saltwater is sand, isn’t it? He may not have such understanding at 10 but in time, he will and by then, the angels prayed that it wasn’t too late.
“Hey….Zee-“, Liam hesitated. He completely forgot what names started with Z! He was too busy thinking about conintens and silica (he knew that now) that figuring out the puzzle that was his new acquaintance’s name was out the window.
“Zee..” the other boy repeated after him. His head inclined towards Liam. Liam held his breath in anticipation of finally being able to make eye contact but deflated his lungs dejectedly when those eyes were still stuck on a fixed point, despite the head movement. Well, at least there was improvement from yesterday.
Then the finger tic started again as the skinny boy - this time dressed in a large holey jersey that went passed his knee - repeated after Liam. The single syllable phonic sound of a buzzing bee.
“Zee, Zee, zzzee” he reverberated. His dry lips twitching to pull up at the corners and Liam had never been happier to have made someone try to smile. When Judy smiled, it lit up an entire room but this small smile had the potential of outshining the sun itself.
“Zee?” Liam injected a tone of inquiry to confirm the name of this mystery boy.
“Zee.”, came the affirmation, with a smile and Liam did not miss the fresh, new fine lines emerging at the corner of his eyes. It was gone immediately as Z was back to his somber self. Frowning, as though scolding himself that smiling wasn’t allowed. Out of the many mental notes he made to himself, making that crinkle appear again on Z’s face was definitely Liam’s priority.
***
Liam kept on looking over at the gates to Sunville Park, his legs itching to stretch, while Z poked through the sand, evidently, searching for the missing ants. He kept on muttering words to himself. Sometimes, short bursts of ‘ants’ and ‘woosh woosh’. Sometimes, a train of complicated phrases that sounded like what magicians would say. It sounded foreign to Liam. Like a different language. None of them wanted to talk, contented to simply be around each other in comfortable silence. Liam’s mind was preoccupied with Mum and sleeping Judy anyway to say much to Z. He wanted to run but those men are terrifying and he didn’t feel as brave to wander out alone. Then a thought occurred to him.
“Hey Z.” Liam called out, not looking back. Behind him, Z stilled. Dead in his tracks of making a new opening for the drowned out ants in the damp sand. He didn’t look up but his ears were trained on Liam’s next words.
“Do you think we could sneak out from here to go for a run? I wanna go but those guys are freaking me out!” Liam whispered even though they were far from earshot of those dark forms bundled up at a gate.
“Why do they scare you?” Z surprised Liam with a question. He has been fairly quiet up to this point.
“I don’t know. They look like they would eat me. One in particular, since just now. He’s always hiding in a big group there. Boogie man”, said Liam, still staring at one lone man who had his eyes trained on the two boys. Liam broke eye contact. Chills running down his spine.
“Boogie man? Boogie. Boogie. Boogie”
“Yea, you know. Like those monsters that’s under your bed?” Liam tried not to be affected with Z’s repetitive speeches.
“My bed is on the floor. There are no monsters underneath it.” he told Liam, simply.
Liam fell silent. There was still so much to find out about his little friend.
“So boogie man is stopping you from running in that park just beyond the gates?” Z went on. His fingers, now that they have stopped poking through sand, were snapping at a steady non-musical beat. Like a ticking of a grandfather’s clock.
“You can say that”
With that, Z got up and walked towards the entrance to Sunville Park, closing in on the mass of hooded figures. Liam, without thinking, ran after him, tugging on the back of his jersey to stop him.
“Are you crazy?!He’s gunna eat us or something!!” he hissed incredulously as Z kept on walking forward. His eyes trained on the boogie man. Liam noticed Z’s abnormal gait - his legs didn’t swing as far out and his stance were short, like he was in pain, his toe off were draggy, the front of his rubber slippers scraping the badly tarred road - but kept his mouth shut.
“I’ll help. I talk to the boogieman and you can run” Z huffed out, already tired but his stride -or lack thereof- didn’t falter.
When they reached the mysterious man, Z tapped out his right foot three times and snapped his left fingers twice. The Boogieman continued to look at them with empty eyes. Liam thought the whole thing was weird. Like it was some secret code between them. Or maybe it was just one of Z’s tics.
“Let us through” Z said suddenly looking away from the man, his dainty digits resuming its rolling motion. The whisperings ceased to a deafening silence as the rest of the homeless people stopped their conversation to stare at them. Z held out his palm like holding out an invisible peace offering.
Liam held his breath, the tension mounting up that he felt suffocated.
“Uncle Jay, mairhairbani. Please”
***
“HE WAS YOUR UNCLE?!” Liam bellowed from across Sunville Park, having ran two rounds for as fast as he could before his legs started to burn and he was forced to slow it down to jogging. The sun was low in the sky and most of its residents have already gone home. Z hung back around the steely exercise devices that only high-end parks would have, unlike their measly sandbox.
Dragging his heavy legs, Liam came to a complete stop where Z stood admiring the mechanical things to the spinning bars. It was dark so Liam once again missed the chance to look at Z’s eyes. Soon, trying to look into Z’s eyes will be a game for him. A personal goal. But right now, he could tell that those eyes - orbs that held a thousand and one secrets and endless mysteries - were flicking through the rapid twirls and turns of the basic exercise machines and Liam had an inkling that Z already has the functioning parts mapped out in his mind already. He didn’t know how much of a genius his friend is but Z seemed to be that sort of smart boy.
“Tap. Tap. Tap” the echoes persisted as Z tapped the wheel to keep it spinning. His attention still locked on the blasted thing.
ldquo;If he was your uncle how come he sleeps outside?” Liam asked, curious. He didn’t understand why a family member would be left outside. No matter how messed up his mum was, he’d never let her sleep outside too and Mum can be a pain when she’s drunk.
All he got was a nonchalant shrug before Z was whispering slowly, “He’s crazy, you know”.
Liam stared at him like the fidgety boy started breaking down in a dance routine and singing at the top of his lungs. Of all people to call another person crazy…..
“Besides, we don’t have space at home” and Liam’s confusion was understandable because he didn’t know about the seven other people occupying Z’s shoebox of a house. Not that Liam even knew about Z living in a shoebox.
“Come on let’s go.” Liam walked away from the park, deciding to let that awkward information slide. Of course there’s plenty of space for family…
e didn’t have to look back to know Z was following him. He appreciated the companionship. The familiar scrape of rubber slippers against the ground as Z tried to catch up with his long stride. Liam counted the seconds between his steps so that Z would walk by him at the same speed.
They walked in silence. It wasn’t particularly gawky but it wasn’t comfortable either. Z seemed to be deep in thought while Liam was thinking of the funny things he had heard from his friend. It must be due to their differences that made everything Z say absolutely confusing. That and Z has a brain of a professor. He even knew an entirely different language!
“Oh yeah… how… what was it that you said to your Uncle? When you asked if we could go to the park?” He phrased them carefully.
“Urdu”
“Ooo-what?” if a string could describe the inside of Liam’s brain right now, it would be a tangle of impossible knots.
“Ur-du. My family is from there. So we know how to speak Urdu. Pakistan language” Z’s voice faded as he zoned out again. Lips smacking, as though he tasted something bitter when talking about his homeland. He kept on mouthing the words ‘Paki’ under his breath but Liam was better at ignoring it now.
“Where is Pakistan? We had class today and they were talking about ‘conintens’ and I was totally crap at it. But then again we were discussing about sand and I totally aced it! Thanks to you! Which reminds me, I’ve got something for you but I didn’t bring it remind me next time.” Liam started ranting out his day, grateful that he had somebody to talk to, even if he’s unsure if Z was listening at all. It has been awhile since he had a proper friend.
***
That night, after dinner, after fussing over how Judy won’t eat her mac and cheese, after thanking Aunt Dee profusely for the meal and for taking care of his mother, Liam sat at his desk buried under piles of homework. He was a slow learner but he was hardworking so he didn’t look up once until he got question 4 of simple maths down. He was gonna leave the world map homework until last minute since it wasn’t due till next week. It would take months and maybe years for him to get all the places labeled right.
He did look up finally - after calculating the last math question - and gazed out his window, the soft silvery moonlight illumination the sandbox in front of him. He wasn’t exactly paying attention to what he was seeing instead he was listening to the muffled conversations between Aunt Dee and Mum. She was much more awake now and kept on complaining about her non-existent job. Liam felt that maybe it was time he get a job too. Maybe then he’ll be able to help his mum and his sister. Judy. Precious little Judy, who was now lying down in her baby cot. Problem was, she wasn’t a baby anymore. Her body angled in odd angles to fit herself in the much too small crib.
Liam sighed. It would be great to have a bed so big that it would fit everybody. As wide of the sandbox. He could roll around in it endlessly and Judy wouldn’t have contractures in the future. So she wouldn’t have stiff joints when she got older. Eyeing the sandbox as if to memorize its size for future sleeping furniture browsing purposes, Liam noticed a tiny form crouched in the middle of the sandbox.
It was so dark outside save for the bright, bright moon that the skin of the crouched figure looked glowing.
That can’t be him….. Liam thought to himself. Sure he left Z there - his holey jersey grazed the sand as he squatted down to start scratching the sand with random lines - but he didn’t think Z would still be around. He vaguely remembered Z iterate ‘conintens’ to himself.
“I can teach you about your conintens” Z has said before Liam waved him goodbye.
It was unmistakably Z. The large shirt going past his knee, the rubber slippers and the floppy hair. (It looked so soft with the moon casting silver lines through it.) The lone boy in the middle of the deserted sandbox slowly stood up, holding his hip. It was probably aching from being in that position for too long. Liam narrowed his eyes to better see Z in the moonlight. Then Z was facing directly towards his apartment block. The moon shining behind him, casting a silhouette. His head tilted up as though he was staring up at Liam’s window. As though he knew that Liam’s window would overlook the sandbox. As though he knew exactly where Liam’s window was. Second floor the third window to the right. Liam thought it was impossible.
And then Z waved and walked slowly out of the sandbox, slipping into the dark shadows on the opposite building. Crumbling on its foundation.
Finally focusing on what it was that had Z crouched down for hours on end in the sandbox for, Liam gasped and stared in a mixture of disbelief and awe. “Z….”
He had drawn a detailed, labeled, world map across the expanse of the sandbox. An exact copy of what Liam had just seen in his books earlier.
Suddenly, a whip of thunder cracked the silent night, making Judy stir in her sleep. He stared out his window for as long as he could. Not wanting to forget the masterpiece Z had left in order to help him learn about the world. It was all going to waste in a matter of minutes when fat droplets of rain started to pour out the clouds. But he couldn’t ignore Judy’s fretful whimpers. He gently lifted Judy out of her crib and carried her to his bed instead. They could squeeze in together comfortably. A practiced move whenever Mum was finally in deep sleep.
Hushing her, Liam sang to her. A modified version of their lullaby.
“You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You’ll know that I will save you
From all of the unclean”
Liam held Judy tighter in his embrace as she snuggled even closer. The patting of the rain against the window a steady beat that lulled them both to sleep. Before Liam took his last breath of consciousness, all he could think about was how the world map would be distorted tomorrow against the sand. Just like his distorted life. But he thought that Z would be the one person who would be able to carve it all back together again into perfection.