oh how i love long day alone!!
i do believe that i have a sadly neglected blog. but i have decided that i would like to try to update it every week...at least. but right now i have a lot on my mind, so this will get extremely long. and i will post again right after i post this...2 or 3 or 4 today sounds good...hahaha
Introduce yourself
well, i am bethany. beth for short...very few people actually call me that though even after they ask which i like better and i say "beth". *grin* oh well...
i am a freshman at tennessee technological university, right now my major is nursing. i plan to be here for at least 9 more semesters with the exception of the fall 2012 semester which i hope to spend studying abroad in south korea!! i have a lot of friends most of whom think i am a good friend. recently all of my time is spent in class, studying, with God, or with international students.
one of my biggest passions is diversity, whether that is different cultures from different countries, or different foods from different states.
i love thinking.
peter pan creamy peanut butter in my favorite food.
i was born in chicago, but i don't want to move back. i love where i am at right now, but hopefully some day i will get to move back to madison, wisconsin...i think that is my favorite place i have ever been.
i want to get married some day - some day a very long time from now. if i have kids they will most likely be adopted as i want a rainbow household and one person like me is enough in this world.
the most important thing about me is my relationship with God. i was lost. he found me. i was miserable and empty. he fills me up and makes me ecstatic. i can't stop loving him. he can't stop loving me. if you spend very much time with me at all you will probably notice that i love him...i love being with him, thinking about him, reading his thoughts to me, talking about him, and talking to him. i will talk about him to you sooner or later, don't be shocked. i don't care what you think about him. i don't care what you think about me for what i think about him... :)
(in fact, if you happen to think anything about me at all, thats fine. very few people do. but i really don't care. your opinion of me has the approximate wieght of a feather compared to the weight of the world in my mind.)
so that is a very few things about me. there's a lot more. but nothing else is coming to mind...haha
Your first love
when i was 17, i fell in love with a jerk. thankfully he left my life and all i had was an empty heart. about a year later, Jesus came and filled it. then i knew what it really meant to love. idk if that really answers the description they are asking for...not like it really matters.
Your parents
art and juanita. some other day i will write about them. for now, their names are sufficient.
What you ate today
oh i like this question!!!! i ate a gyro today!! did i mention that i love food? or that i love different kinds of food??? it wasn't the best gyro i've *ever* had, but it was the best gyro i've had since before i moved back from wisconsin... and i brownie.
Your definition of love
to borrow from the guy i'm in love with..."greater love has no man than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." he would know.
Your day
good. i love spending a morning with jo and then spending the rest of the day alone - with the expectation of seeing her again later. just about my fav kind of day!
Your best friend
jo.
where to start? jo is my other half. i can live without her, but i'd rather die. life without her is like pumpkin pie without sugar. (everyone should try it... it's the same color, the same consistancy, the same texture, the same temperature. it has a crust, the filling, the spices, and all the nostalgic value you can conjure up. but it's awful. it's familiar. but it's wrong. it's there. but you wish it wasn't.)
jo is fun, classy, beautiful, talented, smart, soft, deep, passionate, loving, challenging, encouraging, original, loyal, hard-working, honest, honorable, tough, thorough, sensitive, and OC.
i love her more than anyone else i have ever seen. she is the perfect compliment to me. there is nothing that will end our friendship though there is much that has and will continue to stretch, shift, and shape it.
i don't think i can imagine a more perfect best friend.
A moment
huh? i've lived a heck of a lot of those......somewhere over 10 million.
there are a few though that are burned into my memory.......i guess i'll share since we're on the topic of me...
moment 1. i am 5 years old sitting on the piano bench that is almost as tall as i am facing the rest of the room during family devotions one random saturday. i am sharing my dad's bible and it's my turn to read. my verse ends one page and begins another. additionally, the word runs over from one page to the next. as i finish my verse it dawns on me that i am 5 years old and i can read big words without help and with the interuption of turning a page. i think that's the first time i knew i was smart.
moment 2. i am 6 years old sitting on the floor in my brothers' room rolling a ball with them. mom walks in. she gets down on the floor and plays with us. to understand the meaning of this moment to me, you have to know that my mom has rheumatiod arthritis and that was the last time i remember her getting down on the floor with me.
moment 3. i am 7 years old walking around a field with my best friend. all afternoon. telling stories and being barefoot. that boy had an influence i underestimated......i still walk around fields barefoot, telling myself stories for lack of a better companion. :)
moment 4. i am 11 years old sitting outside a small church building in mezquital, mexico. it is dark and i am holding a flashlight in my mouth as i wash a cut on my foot. out of nowhere a brown hand takes the flashlight, sits down beside me and helps me wash it. i look into his eyes and barely can mumble "muchos gracias". i think it was more like a gasp. his eyes said it all. i would give almost anything to relive that moment with him.
moment 5. i am 14 years old standing in front of a mirror and thinking for the first time that i am fat. i hate that moment with a passion. i wonder, if i hadn't thought it then, would i not think it now?
moment 6. i am 16 years old standing in the middle of a dance floor. he is holding my left hand and as he slowly lets go, his fingers slide across the tips of mine. he holds just a little longer i know he's admiring the callouses i get when i play mandoline.
moment 7. i am 17 years old sitting on a bleacher half-heartedly watching a highschool football game. the lady sitting a few rows back is loud and obnoxious in her admiration of our team. everyone around us moves away and finally someone standing on the sideline in front of us sharply insults her by telling her that everyone is annoyed and has moved away because of that. totally unexpectedly, he stands up - leaving my side for the first time that fateful evening we first met - walks purposefully to where she is sitting trying to pick up her shattered face and sits down. then he looks into my eyes.
moment 8. i am 17 years old standing in my cold, kitchen lit only by an oil lamp. jo had just answered the phone and sat down in a chair to talk. she hang up the phone, walks to where i am standing, puts her arms around me as if that could shield me from her dreadful news, finally wispers "it's jesse".
moment 9. i am 17 years old sitting at my mom's computer looking at pictures of the guys i am in love with reveling in his new girlfriend. probably the second best thing that has ever happened to me.
moment 10. i am 18 years old standing at the door of room 208 in the jere whitson building where 2 females and 20 males stare at me as if i was the abominable snowwoman. i doubt she could've looked worse. i was soaked to the skin, the raindrops hiding the tears that i couldn't keep from rolling down my face. makeup smeared, no books, 18 and so confused. such was my introduction to my emt class. epic.
moment 11. i am 18 years old standing next to a bed on wheels in an emergency room changing the bandages on a poor 8-year-old's 2nd and 3rd degree burns when they wheel another bed past. he is yellow and purple. his chest is a cavity. his heart is still beating - they are pumping it for him. he is dead.
moment 12. i am 18 years old sitting in the storage-room-turned-make-shift-bedroom in my parents' house miserable and anxious. jo looks at me with the most serious face i have ever seen on her face and says 2 sentences that changed my life, "you have to listen to me. are you going to?" "mmmh." "......you have to stop thinking about what anyone else says and only think about God. what he wants." with that she turned around and walked down the stairs. less than 5 minutes later my life was his. no more misery. no more anxiety. YAY!
moment 13. i am 19 years old standing in the sanctuary in washington avenue baptist church. we hold hands for the closing prayer. something in that hand felt right........
moment 14. i am 19 years old sitting on a blue bed looking at pictures of disney world, only i'm not looking at the picture on the screen...i'm looking at the picture in the screen. me and him having a ball just being together. then he looked into my computer eyes and we smiled.
moment 15. i am 20 years old lying face-down an a dirt and gravel mini-cliff. if i fall i will be hurt. if i move i will fall. arms and legs spread as far apart as possible in an attempt to generate more friction i almost laugh at how ridiculous i must look... he is above me and as he reaches for and holds onto my hand to help me up i look at him and think, "this is the life". there was something right in that moment.
15 of the most memorable moments in my life to date...
Your beliefs
i believe in fairies. i believe that nature is alive. i believe that some day i will see my Jesus.
i think that about covers it.
What you wore today
i like this one......from the top.
loooong hair that i am about to braid in lots of cute little braids.
my "saturday shirt"...it's black and in silver writing it says "save a horse...ride a cowboy".
jeans that i cut up and made into bell-bottoms with fleece material.
star socks.
my cool painted shoes.
a ttu purple hair band.
my new zealand necklace.
star earings.
my "class ring".
pink nail polish.
haedphones.
a cubic zirconium stud.
and no makeup. (i'm still wearing all of that, btw)
Your siblings
are awesome!!!!! my sisters are my best friends, and my brothers are the coolest guys i know. some of them are old and married and parents. but they are the better for it. the rest of us are awesomely crazy.
the jellos will rock you!!
What's in your bag
my bible.
my notebook.
my paper file.
nyc flyers.
a study abroad info postcard.
2 pencils.
and eraser.
a flashdrive.
and a knife.
This week
was so long. but i made it through. duh.
Your dreams
to never grow up.
to learn as many different languages as possible.
to fall in love with a guy who loves me at least as much.
to marry said guy.
to live all over the world.
to move back to madison.
to be an artist.
to somehow make nature communicate with me the way i know it can.
to never have to have a boring job.
to be influencial.
Your first kiss
will be pretty epic. i hope.
Your favourite memory
haha...don't have one.
the time i spent in cookeville during the one week of play rehearsals in august 2006 for i am dreaming of america was one of the best weeks of my life.
the 2 summers i spent in pigeon forge were both life-changing and amazing. also crazy and very hard. but i love them.
cliff-jumping right at the end of both those summers is awesome.
prom with jj is a memory i love.
falling alseep with my baby caed in my arms - asleep - was lovely. though i got an terrible neck cramp... haha
the first night i met dirk was fun, exciting, weird, uncomfortable, and the end of my life as i knew it. life-changing i guess you could say.
mexico in july of 2001 was also life-changing. i loved it and ever since then i have had a desire to know the world...
williamsburg in may of 2008 with all my awesome girly classmates was super duper fun and memorable.
gatlinburg last weekend.....we will see what kind of lasting affects that has in my life.
Your favourite birthday
13 when i got K or this year in wisconsin...my brithdays are not days i really celebrate so nothing really stands out...
Something you regret
everything i have been through has brought me to where i am and i love where i am. i really wouldn't change any of it. i don't regret any of it. even a little bit.
This month
is going by very fast. is fall. has 31 days.
Another moment
uhmm...no
Something that upsets you
litter
lying
inequality
guys
prejudice
generalizations
things i can't understand that i should be able to (algebra...)
Something that makes you feel better
God
jo
music
food
guys
NATURE
Something that makes you cry
pain
death
people
A first
i try to do something new every day.....check out my blog: bethanypinzur.blogspot.com
Your fears
sometimes i am a little afraid of water because i can't really swim.
i am afraid of people, though you wouldn't know. because i am almost not afraid of you anymore.
intimacy and commitment. hopefully that will come though......
Your favourite place
nature
Something that you miss
the freedom i had while i lived with es and peej. and a lot of other things i had while i was there...
Your aspirations
how do these differ from my dreams? are these supposed to be the things i am actually working toward? cause i am working toward my dreams........ *shrug*
One last moment
mexico again. lying outside my tent on a very hard sleeping bag (or was it the groud that was hard?) looking up at the most amazing stars i have ever seen. watching my first shooting star float across my consciousness. and thinking about francisco.
can you guess what i think of when i look at stars?