(Untitled)

[arturis]

An Update of the Epic Saga

A searcher once flew to Nantucket
And then took the train to Pawtucket
From there to Manhasset
He asked "DO U HAS IT?"
But that walrus could not find his bucket!

Comments

[spidermonkey20s]

Well done, good sir.

[arturis]

Thank you. Katherine and I spent our breakfast thinking this up.

[tarq]

This made my evening.

[arturis]

I'm glad. I debated posting it because it seemed borderline lame, so I'm glad some people got a kick out of it.

[overbo]

It really is quite entertaining.

To split hairs, the word "searcher" is a bit awkward. Maybe "In earnest he flew to Nantucket" might be an ever-so-slight improvement on the first line as it does away with that word in and gives a somber impression to contrast the humorous conclusion.

[arturis]

We debated the first line, or at least came up with several alternatives. My initial thought was "On a rumor he flew to Nantucket" but then I was worried about using "he" with no reference. The question is does it heighten the reader's interest, or does it just sound weird and vague? I liked the idea of labeling him, both to avoid the weird antecedent problem and also to more closely fit the classic form of the first line. Suffice it to say I haven't heard or come up with anything that is quite perfect for that first line.

[scoutinthenight]

This has caused a collision between my love of the limerick and my blinding hatred of poor grammar perpetuated by internet memes. You have failed to get chocolate in my peanut butter, good sir.

[arturis]

Maybe more like gasoline in your peanut butter?

[scoutinthenight]

That got me to laugh out loud. Which was amusing, but then meant I had to explain why I was laughing at a proposed solution to a problem a coworker had just verbalized.

[arturis]

Well, I'm glad I could be an ongoing source of cognitive dissonance and social awkwardness.