Spiritual vs Religious in a Heathen Context
Religious themed post under cut- cranky & a bit cynical tone- no personal insults meant. Public in case anyone wants to point others this way
So after work I decided to meet kind of but not really ex-gf (prof. a- the philosopher by trade) for a glass of wine in an attempt at an earnest friendship. So we did the sleepover stuff exchange- perhaps my most hated dating ritual ever- over the weekend and its really better that it ended. After that its awkward for a while, but I think we are both kind of intellectually starved here in the nation's nether region and seriously we are better off as friends.
So Prof A tells me that she has a confession. I maintain altars in my home kept behind a glass cabinet to some of my Gods. She tells me that they always made her uneasy.
To those people I know on here purely secularly and not very well, I am a very very devout adherent of the Forn Sed faith and have been for almost 17 years. Its an integral part of my life and it affects every aspect of my being. I get it. I have cups filled with offerings of mead and blood (there is a historical precedence for this, including the 'reddening' of runes being specifically called out in a major religious lay in our sacred texts- its not some mindless teenage rebellion thing- the blood is my own) idols various herbs and sundries and whatnot.
She confessed that the whole dark undertones frightened her a little bit when we were seeing one another, especially because I am owned by Hela, so while I am not a particularly fatalistic person by any stretch of the imagination, my boss' energy is apparent to some on an unconscious level and it makes some people uneasy, especially the death-phobic. Its kind of like being branded as 'other' and its just something that one learns to live with, and those that matter can see past it. She actually used the term 'funerary'. As in I live in what feels like a funeral home but with really adorable animals and a comfy couch and lots of books about things she has no interest in like Old Norse mythology & history, kink, herbs, graphic novels, various shades of paganism and occulture, and every shaman ethnography I can get my hands on regardless of culture, trade books about librarianship, left of leftist political theory books, and remnants of pomo critical theory and whatnot from grad school, (in her words water water everywhere and not a drop to drink).
Ok thats fair, I admit to being a huge book nerd holy roller type. I admit I am a book snob and it bites me in the face. Had J not had a copy of a Hakim Bey book hanging out of her pocket the day that we met, because it did kind of impress me, I probably would have not had the courage or impetus to talk to her at any length and I would have had like this whole other life now... At the same time yeah if I meet a cute girl whose book collection gives me shortness of breath, I can probably kiss the next few years of my life goodbye. Could be a librarian thing. But I digress. Did I mention we killed 2 bottles of cab tonight. So yeah.
I told Prof A that I was pretty up front before anything moved below the chin even (as sustained monogamy is basically off the table for me at this point in my life- so pretty much dating who I want is a privelege and honor dictates full disclosure to potential partners), so I did not get her latent hostility really. I don't prolesthyze. And that's when I got a backhanded insult. "I just thought that you were spiritual". I don't think it was malice on her part.
I get it, she's devoted her career to empirical rationalist thought and then hooks up with a spirit worker practicing this obscure polytheist faith with maybe 10,000 active practitioners who actually understands her terminology and language and is by all accounts rational. WTF central. I made her elaborate. I gave her the 5 minute explanation of my faith and lent her a copy of our sacred texts which she to her credit read. I stressed stewardship of nature over sacrifice/reciprocity/change as fundamental paradigmic focal points. But for fucks sake, I have a giant tattoo of the nornir on my left arm.
So I had Prof A play the what if game with me. What if the Gods (that I believe in) proved themselves to be real to you beyond a shadow of a doubt. What if from that point you actually cultivated a relationship with something bigger than yourself and saw past the tangible/empirical quantifiable truths- acknowledging that they were a small part of the whole. What if everything sentient was interconnected? What if acknowledging this made the only logical outcome to freely offer (in our religious terms this would be sacrifice- the act of giving something of worth from a place of love and pure intent and expecting nothing in return- and yes even co-religionists often struggle with this concept in practice) a big part of oneself to one's Gods and one's co-inhabitants of the world tree- because of the notions of exchange and reciprocity. Power exchange (albeit far more nuanced than the kind in the bedroom) pure and simple. Our liturgical blueprint for enlightement and evolution (the havamal- Othinn on the tree) is completely rooted in the concepts of sacifice and exchange. Its all about SERVICE. And knowing one's place, and submitting to things bigger than oneself like say FATE or the evolution/cycles of the world tree Yggdrasil. Its not about how the universe can serve you. And this idea of sacrifice and service are at least in a Heathen context (and true of monotheists too) the hallmark of the truly religious/owned/devoted. Its not fun or easy or always gratifying, but the force of love and the bond between oneself and one's deities propels one to act in honor and from a place of right action/intent. (I do wish more of my co-religionists were cognisant of this subtlety). Its less about what it does for oneself than what one's fundamental nature becomes in the presence of the divine. It hardly becomes a conscious choice over time.
Generic spirituality is the antithesis of this. Its looking at that which is around you and seeing how it can serve your personal goals and your personal growth. How can the universe serve me and do for me? How can I visualize a set goal and become another goal. If I honor the land, its less because I care about the welfare of its little people (hidden folk), but because the earth absorbs pain and can take mine from me. When bad things happen to good folk its because they have a karmic debt or have willed it, so long as its not me and mine. For every gift I give, I expect something in return. Not because its right action, but because I am entitled to it.
I may sound a little bit acserbic here, and yeah more than alienated from the greater cultural mores of the moment, but when the good professor whose mind I respect immensely failed to draw said distinction, I was amazed. Its something at least within my religious community that warrants thought and discussion.
So after work I decided to meet kind of but not really ex-gf (prof. a- the philosopher by trade) for a glass of wine in an attempt at an earnest friendship. So we did the sleepover stuff exchange- perhaps my most hated dating ritual ever- over the weekend and its really better that it ended. After that its awkward for a while, but I think we are both kind of intellectually starved here in the nation's nether region and seriously we are better off as friends.
So Prof A tells me that she has a confession. I maintain altars in my home kept behind a glass cabinet to some of my Gods. She tells me that they always made her uneasy.
To those people I know on here purely secularly and not very well, I am a very very devout adherent of the Forn Sed faith and have been for almost 17 years. Its an integral part of my life and it affects every aspect of my being. I get it. I have cups filled with offerings of mead and blood (there is a historical precedence for this, including the 'reddening' of runes being specifically called out in a major religious lay in our sacred texts- its not some mindless teenage rebellion thing- the blood is my own) idols various herbs and sundries and whatnot.
She confessed that the whole dark undertones frightened her a little bit when we were seeing one another, especially because I am owned by Hela, so while I am not a particularly fatalistic person by any stretch of the imagination, my boss' energy is apparent to some on an unconscious level and it makes some people uneasy, especially the death-phobic. Its kind of like being branded as 'other' and its just something that one learns to live with, and those that matter can see past it. She actually used the term 'funerary'. As in I live in what feels like a funeral home but with really adorable animals and a comfy couch and lots of books about things she has no interest in like Old Norse mythology & history, kink, herbs, graphic novels, various shades of paganism and occulture, and every shaman ethnography I can get my hands on regardless of culture, trade books about librarianship, left of leftist political theory books, and remnants of pomo critical theory and whatnot from grad school, (in her words water water everywhere and not a drop to drink).
Ok thats fair, I admit to being a huge book nerd holy roller type. I admit I am a book snob and it bites me in the face. Had J not had a copy of a Hakim Bey book hanging out of her pocket the day that we met, because it did kind of impress me, I probably would have not had the courage or impetus to talk to her at any length and I would have had like this whole other life now... At the same time yeah if I meet a cute girl whose book collection gives me shortness of breath, I can probably kiss the next few years of my life goodbye. Could be a librarian thing. But I digress. Did I mention we killed 2 bottles of cab tonight. So yeah.
I told Prof A that I was pretty up front before anything moved below the chin even (as sustained monogamy is basically off the table for me at this point in my life- so pretty much dating who I want is a privelege and honor dictates full disclosure to potential partners), so I did not get her latent hostility really. I don't prolesthyze. And that's when I got a backhanded insult. "I just thought that you were spiritual". I don't think it was malice on her part.
I get it, she's devoted her career to empirical rationalist thought and then hooks up with a spirit worker practicing this obscure polytheist faith with maybe 10,000 active practitioners who actually understands her terminology and language and is by all accounts rational. WTF central. I made her elaborate. I gave her the 5 minute explanation of my faith and lent her a copy of our sacred texts which she to her credit read. I stressed stewardship of nature over sacrifice/reciprocity/change as fundamental paradigmic focal points. But for fucks sake, I have a giant tattoo of the nornir on my left arm.
So I had Prof A play the what if game with me. What if the Gods (that I believe in) proved themselves to be real to you beyond a shadow of a doubt. What if from that point you actually cultivated a relationship with something bigger than yourself and saw past the tangible/empirical quantifiable truths- acknowledging that they were a small part of the whole. What if everything sentient was interconnected? What if acknowledging this made the only logical outcome to freely offer (in our religious terms this would be sacrifice- the act of giving something of worth from a place of love and pure intent and expecting nothing in return- and yes even co-religionists often struggle with this concept in practice) a big part of oneself to one's Gods and one's co-inhabitants of the world tree- because of the notions of exchange and reciprocity. Power exchange (albeit far more nuanced than the kind in the bedroom) pure and simple. Our liturgical blueprint for enlightement and evolution (the havamal- Othinn on the tree) is completely rooted in the concepts of sacifice and exchange. Its all about SERVICE. And knowing one's place, and submitting to things bigger than oneself like say FATE or the evolution/cycles of the world tree Yggdrasil. Its not about how the universe can serve you. And this idea of sacrifice and service are at least in a Heathen context (and true of monotheists too) the hallmark of the truly religious/owned/devoted. Its not fun or easy or always gratifying, but the force of love and the bond between oneself and one's deities propels one to act in honor and from a place of right action/intent. (I do wish more of my co-religionists were cognisant of this subtlety). Its less about what it does for oneself than what one's fundamental nature becomes in the presence of the divine. It hardly becomes a conscious choice over time.
Generic spirituality is the antithesis of this. Its looking at that which is around you and seeing how it can serve your personal goals and your personal growth. How can the universe serve me and do for me? How can I visualize a set goal and become another goal. If I honor the land, its less because I care about the welfare of its little people (hidden folk), but because the earth absorbs pain and can take mine from me. When bad things happen to good folk its because they have a karmic debt or have willed it, so long as its not me and mine. For every gift I give, I expect something in return. Not because its right action, but because I am entitled to it.
I may sound a little bit acserbic here, and yeah more than alienated from the greater cultural mores of the moment, but when the good professor whose mind I respect immensely failed to draw said distinction, I was amazed. Its something at least within my religious community that warrants thought and discussion.