Perculating
All of these experienced me in some way through all of my past... tons of relationships and meet ups, and they've just been sitting in my mind until now. So many questions without answers;
Why isn't there a bad boyfriend alarm that goes off in your head before you start dating them? A little signal that goes off in your brain cluing you in about past ghosts that have their clutches around your new beau's heart? How is someone supposed to know who carries around emotional baggage and who doesn't? How can one deal with an over exertive ex that won't dissolve into the background? Should someone even try to breach over the boundaries of these broken types, or are they just hopless vessels lost at sea? Is it easier for men to deal with torn apart women than for women to deal with battered men? But then, what constitutes as torn or battered? What is permanent damage and what is just temporary? Do men do anything to change or heal women's emotional scars? And do women ever sit back and say 'nu-uh' to altering a man from being the whipping boy, or over dominant, to becoming her own neutered puppy or overlord? Do men make and mold in the same fashions as women? Do they shape and guilt us girls into houseives, sex toys, or moms in the same way that women shape men? Is there any point to this constant reshaping and changing that seems to go on eternally from relationship to relationship? Is that why some of us feel so empty when we're single? Because we need to live up to someone's expectations, or because we constantly need to have our hands involved in some kind of project? Which, I suppose explains how those few people, the ones so absorbed in 'themselves'; their careers, their lives, the ones who know deep down who they are, can be the happiest alone. Because they don't need to feel complete with someone, they are already complete on their own. Is that why so many people try to go out and while their single try to find themselves, even though most just fold back into abismal relationships without knowing who they truly are or why they even act the way they do. Will there ever be answers for any of this? Is there a point? Who knows, I wish I did, but my best thinking about relationships seems to come when I'm in one. Perhaps I'll figure out the answers, but I most likely won't. The only thing to tell is time, and hopefully wisdom comes with age. Or maybe I've just taken too many philosophy classes. So many questions with no answer.