(no subject)
I have not been on here in like over a month I guess there was just to much going on this past while. Such as: Justin, Torri, School, Jenn, Boys, and of all me.
So first Justin. It's done it;s been done for a while. I broke up with him in the intentions of getting back together mid september now not so much. Truth is its easier on me as selfish as that sounds. It was all so much so quick and I have never fought so much with anyone in my life! Point is much like fate it happened for a reason, a good reason. For once fate and I agree on something.
Other thing Torri. She left for Carleton University a little while ago. Im going through Torri withdrawal. This girl has been my best friend, my support, my sister through life. I am so unbelievably fucking proud of her for where she is. She worked so hard to get where she is and as much as I kind of wish she would just be 5 minutes down the road from me again, she deserves this more than anyone. She is an amazing human being with great potentail to be anything she wants to. I envy her for so many reasons. For the character she is for the character she has been and the one she is soon to become. She is a great person and the kind of friend that you never want to let go of no matter what. She's the kind of girl that smiles and it's contagious and whens shes sad its the most heart breaking sight in the world. I love her more than anything in this world and as much as I try to be there for her, she deserves better. And if I could give it to her I would. I am so proud of all she has accomp[lished and if more people (as corny as this sounds) had the potentail, disapline and personality of her we actually would b living in a better place.
School. I just don't want it to start this year I have so much stress this year being my last and all.
Jenn. We're done practically. This is why I got all scared about Torri. After that bitch made me lose all my public school friends. Other than Torri I had pretty much decided that because Torri was really all I had and she did not attend my school. I would just make myself the quiet outkast type. Not talk to anyone. Look down always and so on. I met Jenn in grade 10 new to our school and thought hey she has noone like me Ill befriend her and i did and we became good friends. I loved her she was great. Then it started she was making comments and kept trying to get me to think that my best friend was this evil bitch who I should not waste my time with which clearly to me is bullshit because I put her before anything. After a while of ignoring it I fought back I would jump to her defence become irritated with her and tell her to shut the fuck up. From that moment on she reszented me. But we were still good friends. Jenn would always tell me how horrible I was because I spent to much time with Torri and how once torri left it would just be her and I I liked the idea of us spending grade 12 together but not because she was a replacement for the unreplaceable but because we were friends. Howevere this summer and a little of last year Heather hung out and became a best friend and the 3 (torri heather and i) all became the trio. Jenn hates Heather as Heather hates Jenn and now because I spend time with Heather too she hates me. She talks about how it was supposed to be us 2 and I was supposed to talk to none other basically. And ignores me and makes me feel like shit. So I began to figure why the hell would I want to hang out with her right now if shes just going to ignore me all the ime. So our friendship[ is bsiaclly over now. And I began to worry about Torri and my friendship. And I got really scared and as much as I doubt that our freindship will end ever it still worrys me. I have lost so many since grade8 and I can get over that. They die Ill deal they ditch me whatever they backstab they ignore thay manipulate I dont care. But I could not live if she left me. She is the one person in this world I could honestly say I can't live without. Sher hasd kept me going through so many ruogh times and held my hand through everything and been there through thivk asnd thin I owe her more than I could possibly pay off in a single life time. And it scares the shit out of me to think that one day she could be gone.
Boys just suck.
Me well Im not even going to touch that one tonight.
Goodnight all.