(no subject)
So it has been a while. A long while actually. So much stuff going on, not quite sure just where to start. I mean there's my mom. Shes kind of sick. There is the whole boy sitch but I always have a boy sitch. Theres the school issue. I got a kitten though so that makes me feel better. Just eberything seems to be falling apar lately.
So to start off theres my mom. I mean I knew she had Cancer and I knew that she went to the hospital and had surgery for it and they took it out. Well at least I thought they took it out. My family is not really the family that tends to talk about things that are bothering us or going on in our lives for that matter. Even if I tried to ask questions I'd just be pushed to side and not paid attention to. Thats what you get for being the youngest I suppose. Anyway, she now has to go get these two shots that cost $1600.00. I mean obviously the amount doesn't matter whatever keeps her here as long as possible. It just seems like everyone is sick and dying now adays. Like my dad is not doing so well either he is diabetic and pays no attention to his diet or what he should and shopuld not be eating. Plus his whole lung thing. But I guess death is just the whole life process...I hate that process.
Second, there is the boy sitch. Now Rob and I broke up lat month December 3rd to be exact. Granted I initiated that whole decision I know. So after we broke up I met this great guy named NAthan who is good friends with my older brother. He is exactly like Steve, my ex, its freaky. I fooled around with him and whatever, and we got to talking as people often do and the whole "where is this going" thing kind of came up and it hit me that I really dont want to date this boy as much as I thought I had. Then there wqas Paris, real name Chris, I would not date him either. I am the kind of girl who doesn;t really do the "alone" thing to often so this is a new leaf for me. But the other day Roba nd I were int he Student Council office and we fell aslepp on the couch holding hands and such and it was so nice. I mean I knew right after the break up that it was not a good decision and I denied that I still had feelings for him to everyone. Mostly becasue my best friend had given me this why lecture to make sure I was not just doing it because I was scared which is actually the main reason why. But I mean I absolutely adore him. He's like my high school sweetheart. WE dated in grade 10 broke up dated in grade 11 broke up and now grade 12 nad broke up and I totally regret it. And it sucks. So I am on a mission to see if it will go anywhere and by that I clearly mean see if he'd ever even consider "us" instead of kicking me in the box which he should do. I just need to find a guy who wont let me get scared. I mean Steve, he was the most arrogant asshole ever but he was my longest relationship sad really, We did infact break up after the first month got back together and then I got scared and he was basiclly like "I am not letting you break up with me type thing" and I didn't and it was great only Rob is way more respectful then he is and was like if this is what you want the ok because he did not want me to do something I did nto want to and I wa an diot. UGH!!!
Third, I am totally failing math...AGAIN! But its ok because I have it next semester hopefully Ill pass that round. Chris (the bro) is going to help me a lot with the English thing so that should be god hopefully Ill pass that. I fucked up in my Studio Cabaret which sucked royally. I worked so fucking hard on that monologue and I screwed it up. It was horrible and I definately cried.
I got a kitten her name is Miss Molly. She is blacka nd white shes is so cute. A littel rebel and a shit disturber but I love her.
Heather is forcing me to go to the doctors soon. Which I obviously dont want to do because I am petrafied of doctors. I have not been in a really long time so that will be a tantrum and a half. I dont understand I am not sick so why go.
Simon is moved out for sure to so that really sucks. I am now the official child. He is not to far though so that makes me happy. I miss him to death though. I was supposed to go see him tomorrow but Unhappy Pappy aka Dad said the weather wa to bad for me to make that drive because I have never done it before so Im a little pissed but Simon told me that he wouldn't want anything to happen to me so that was sweet anyway Im fucking tired and going o bed.
Goodnight.
Hope all are having a better time with this so called life than I am