(no subject)
Title: Through Time
Pairing: 2min
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Smut, Incest, slight angst
Word Count: 6,819 words
Notes: Written for ellinana for her hankering for incest smut :)
Summary: Minho remembers how his relationship with his younger brother Taemin developed over the years.
I don’t know when it really started or how it progressed so rapidly, but everything in my world seemed to revolve around him now. His cherubic smile, the way his lips would curl secretively or widely when he was happy, captivated my attention to no end, leaving me breathless. Those expressive eyes that let me see into his mind no matter how guarded he wanted to be. They would shine with happiness, storm with sadness, and flash with anger according to his mood and I couldn’t stop watching in fear of missing any miniscule emotion that would cross his features. Golden locks of silken honey wisped in front of those windows to his soul and I found my fingers inching to touch them, to brush them out of the way.
I remember the first time my restraints were tested. I was a good brother; I kept him from harm’s way, even if it meant it was me. I wanted to coddle him, but I couldn’t because it was so utterly wrong. I first noticed how delicately beautiful he was when he was thirteen and I was fifteen. I remember it like it was yesterday, the realization that I was possibly the sickest, worst brother in all mankind. What brother thought his sibling was beautiful?
The bright sound of barking greeted our ears as we returned home. Taemin gasped in shock, his bright eyes looking up at me before he ran off into the living room, his short hair cut bouncing slightly. I laughed a little, knowing that the entire family had planned the puppy as a birthday gift for my little brother. I was fifteen and I had chosen the gift since we decided on a family gift for my brother.
I followed after his smaller form, grinning back at our mom that had a bright smile on her face as she heard Taemin give a squeal of delight. “Omo! You’re so cute!” I walked into the living room to see our dad sitting in front of a small box with a tiny, long haired dachshund puppy poking its head out of the top and a lopsided green bow tied around its thin neck. A pink tongue flopped out of his mouth and his tail was waggling away as Taemin gripped his tiny body, pulling out the eager bundle of fir into his lap and holding him close. “Oh! Thank you appa and umma! He’s so adorable…”
“Oh Taemiri…” It was my mother speaking up. She must have seen the disappointed look on my face. I was the only one that knew that Taemin wanted a puppy and I had suggested it. They were taking all of the credit for my great idea. “It was Minho’s idea to get you the puppy… he even picked him out.”
I felt a swell of pride in my chest as Taemin’s bright orbs turned to look at me, his smile wider than ever. “Thanks hyung, it’s the best gift ever.” I felt my breath catch in my chest for a moment and my heart stuttered. That look, that innocent, completely adorable look… I had seen it a million times, but the way the light radiated off of him, casting this glow just made me stop and stare for a moment. He looked so happy, so frail, and so beautiful. I could only nod my head and try to keep composure as I reasoned with myself for this new feeling in my chest.
I had never been so confused in my short life. I thought it must have been a play of the lights or just myself overreacting to the happy moment. So I shoved the thought away again and again. But after that day, I began to notice just how pretty he was. How the sun caught his hair or how he puffed his cheeks adorably. I didn’t know what to do; I was only fifteen at the time. I knew I couldn’t turn to my father, I couldn’t run to talk to my mother… they would disown me in a heartbeat.
So I dealt with the confusing emotions as well as I could. I pushed Taemin away, I tried asking girls out, but it was slowly proving to be in vain. I would compare the girls to my brother, finding all of their pretty and false appearances falling short of my own kin. I tried desperately to avoid him, to keep him away from me and my impure thoughts. I was young, I was confused and I just wanted to run away.
Taemin’s sad eyes haunted me. He became so forlorn and so withdrawn. My heart clenched and I knew the reason behind it was own selfish actions. If I didn’t push him away or have those strange thoughts, then he would be fine and we could be normal brothers. But after a year of keeping him as far from me as he could, we snapped. I couldn’t keep his appearance in a constant depression; I wanted to see him smiling like the sun’s rays again. I had to keep Taemin happy, because his happiness meant my world and I was okay with that.
Dinner was so tense and silent. Our parents couldn’t figure out how or why we grew apart in the past year, but we had. It was all might fault. I couldn't look at my brother in fear of him seeing through my cold indifference. I didn’t want him to see how much I thought about him, how beautiful I found him. I didn’t want him to know I dreamt about him at night or that I watched him secretively as he went through the motions of everyday living.
It was so wrong to be this obsessed with Taemin, but I was. I was utterly devoted to him and he didn’t even know it. I wanted to give him the world. I wanted to hold him close and never share him again, but that wasn’t normal… I was still fighting it, fighting that overwhelming desire to love him unconditionally.
After dinner, I avoided his sad gaze, going to my bedroom to work on homework and try to keep my thoughts from his smile, his eyes, just him in general. I worked diligently, stopping once I grew tired and crawled in my bed. I was drifting to sleep when I heard the sound of feet in the hallway before there was a sound at my door and it creaked open. I sat up slowly, seeing a dull light coming from the hallway and I could make out the shape immediately. Taemin was standing at my door with his pillow clutched in his arms.
I didn’t even have to ask, being his big brother I already knew. I held out my arm to him and his reaction was immediate. He closed my door before scurrying to my bed and pressing straight into my side, his body trembling. “Minho-hyung… it was so scary… I dreamt… I dreamt that you never wanted to speak to me again, that you hated me and disowned me as a brother. H-Hyung… do you hate me?” Taemin was crying into my shoulder and guilt immediately clawed at my heart.
He had the nightmare because of me, because of my fears. He didn’t deserve this. I needed to figure out how to still be his brother without hurting him with my actions or my inappropriate thoughts. I held him close, breathing in his sweet, warm scent before humming softly in his ear. “Taemin-ah… I could never hate you. You’re the best little brother anyone could ever want. Don’t… don’t be afraid. I’m sorry I’ve been so cold… I won’t be anymore. I promise… it was nothing you did. It was just me.”
I kissed his forehead as he nodded, seeming placated with my answer. That night I held him close and kept his nightmares at bay. I resigned to my fate of loving my brother as more than just that, a brother. I would have to learn to live with it and I fell asleep to his beautiful face.
For years I learned to deal with it, to cope with the feelings no elder brother should have. I treated Taemin like any normal sibling would. I protected him, helped him, and kept a safe distance. I never let him know how I felt, I never planned to. He deserved a normal life; he didn’t need to be screwed up like I was. Though I had come to terms with my feelings for him, I didn’t expect him to ever have to deal with my crazy emotions. He didn’t need to be tainted by my obsessions.
I remembered when he first started having crushes, so eager to tell me about them. I wanted to grab him and shake some sense into him. I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to console him. In the end, I helped him to win those he liked and soothed his breaking heart when those relationships ended. I was his brother, his sick twisted brother, but I was just his brother. I would never be more, could never be. At least that’s what I thought…
It was my last day home before I would move into the dorms of my new college. Maybe the fresh start would help me move on, get over the ongoing crush on Taemin. I was so hopeful. I was packing in my room, neatly putting away my last bits of clothes, my room nearly barren and packed away in boxes so I felt more at home when I was away. But I knew no matter where I went nothing would feel like home unless Taemin was there. That thought alone would have made my stomach churn years before, now it just left me with a soft, warm feeling.
I had my ear buds in my ears, blaring some rap song against my innocent ear drums. I bopped my head along, ready for the beginning of a new way of life. I just needed to get myself into the mindset that was all… just needed to remove myself from my overly adorable, too gorgeous baby brother. That was all I needed.
So when I felt a light hand on my shoulder when I was so engrossed in my thoughts over getting over this seemingly endless phase, I nearly jumped out of my skin, providing the intruder with a startled scream. I yanked the ear buds from my ears and looked around wildly. I heard a soft, tinkling laugh and looked down at the now auburn haired boy who had mirth in his every feature. I couldn’t even bare to pretend to be mad, I was leaving him behind in less than twenty-four hours and I knew we both didn’t want this. We were best friends, brothers, and he was my world.
“Mian hyung… I just wanted to see if you needed any help.” He was giving that slightly forced smile and I knew he didn’t want me to go. It made me feel smug for a moment to know that I could evoke that kind of emotion in him, but I had to pull it in. Taemin was innocent in all of this; he didn’t know of my feelings and was just suffering from losing his brother for the first time.
I merely gave him a smile, reaching forward to lightly tickle his side, making him jump away quickly, a look of surprise on his features. “Anniyo, I’m nearly done…” The flush on Taemin’s cheeks as he watched me warily made me want to tickle him again just to spite him. I waited until he relaxed, his posture going lax, mouth opening to answer me before I lunged on him, attacking his side with my fingers.
“Hyung!” he shouted in protest, laughing as he squirmed, trying to pull away. But I couldn’t stop; it was too cute to watch him laugh until tears of the painful laughs rolled down his cheeks. I had him backed into a wall by then and when I stopped, I felt my heart stutter. I had my hand on either side of his body, looking down as he peered up at me. His smile slowly slipped away, his eyes growing wider as I just watched. I was held there by his gaze, I couldn’t move if I tried and I think he knew this. I think Taemin could read my mind and he knew he made my heart skip a beat, made my breath catch in my throat, and caused my muscles to lose their functions. He had to have known, it was the only explanation.
I watched as Taemin watched me, feeling my heart thunder in my chest. I needed to pull back and I started to until I heard that soft whisper. “Hyung…” I stopped, looking back down, catching the wide eyed gaze. One of Taemin’s small hands reached up, touching my cheek before leaving feather like caresses through my long locks of hair. I felt like I was on fire, if only for that moment, that tender moment as my brother held me captive with his gaze. “Don’t… Don’t forget about me when you go away… I don’t want us to grow apart again, never again.” His voice was so soft and filled with hurt, I felt my chest constrict and I wanted, no needed to protect him from myself yet again.
I reached up with one hand, softly touching the side of his neck, cradling his face somewhat. “Taemin~ah… that will never happen again, I promise. I could never forget about you. You know I’m coming back to visit every break and every other weekend. I should worry about you forgetting about me.” The truth to that statement stung a bit and I looked away. Taemin was still eager and learning and anyone he met could steal away his attention easily.
I felt his warm flesh against my fingertips and I forgot where I was, who I was. I didn’t think of how dangerous the situation was as we stood there, just looking, searching within each other. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but apparently Taemin did, his lips curling in that adorable smile before he stuttered out a soft. “A-Anniyo…” I saw the blush flourish on his cheeks, felt the warmth that spread down to his neck and I couldn’t believe my luck as my breath caught in my chest again. How was even a part of this beautiful creature’s life when I was so tainted, so disturbed?
I can’t remember how it exactly happened, I don’t know who moved first, but it was nearly instantaneous. I was closing my eyes to try to regain my head, or was I just doing it to savor the oncoming feeling? I couldn’t tell you, but when my mouth sealed onto his I felt time stop all together. His head was tilted to the side compliantly and his mouth didn’t utter a protest or freeze in shock. Rather those tantalizing, warm lips pressed against mine insistently and I found myself easily giving in. Our mouths stayed closed, I was too scared to do much more, but it was the sweetest feeling in the world. My fingers tangled in his mess of auburn locks and I drowned myself in him, forgetting everything for that moment as he let me possess him.
Just as I let myself give in completely, opening my mouth just slightly to taste his lips, I heard footsteps before there was a knock at the door. I had ripped myself away from him as quick as I could, eyes wide in shock and fear. I didn’t know what would happen if someone caught us, I didn’t know if Taemin even wanted it. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide… but I couldn’t. But as soon as the door opened, my brother darted out, covering his mouth with that same blush on his cheeks as our mom walked in. I didn’t see him again that night, and when I went off in the morning, we shared an awkward hug and then I was leaving the train station, finding myself hoping that we weren’t completely torn apart again by my rash actions.
For the first time in my life I felt so guilty that I couldn’t eat or sleep properly for days. I tried to call and talk to Taemin, but everything I tried was in vain. I wouldn’t be able to return home for the first few weeks because I needed to adjust to the college lifestyle, but I honestly missed my brother more than anything. So after a month of restless nights, endless work out sessions and several attempts to move on, I was heading home on the same train that took me to school. I was so worried, so scared that Taemin hated me more than anyone else in the world.
Had he finally realized what a perverted, sick, twisted person I was? Did he no longer love me as family and completely disowned me? I know that kiss showed how much I honestly loved him, how much I would give him if I could. I wanted to provide him with security and normalcy, but nothing was normal about my feelings. So fear and guilt gnawed at my stomach and several times during the trip home I made visits to the bathroom to heave into the toilet. Nerves were never my strong suit, especially when it came to Taemin, only time would tell if he still cared for me, if only as his sibling.
When my eyes fell on him for the first time in a month, my heart stopped it’s dull, pathetic beating and restarted with something akin to thunder as it pounded in my chest, against my ribcage. The sun was spilling over his smooth skin, lighting up that red hair that looked brilliant with his slender face. His eyes were downcast as he played with something in his hands that I couldn’t make out from the distance, but when our mother nudged him to look towards me, his head shot up and that brilliant smile was directed towards me.
I didn't expect it, but when a streak of bobbing red hair was dashing towards me, I could hardly believe my luck. I felt his frail body collide with mine, arms clinging tightly to my neck as I heard his willowy voice speak over and over. “Minho-hyung… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” I could hardly find my bearings as I tried not to topple over from the force of his hug before wrapping my arms securely around him, holding him close. It was one of the best sensations in the world to hold him so close, to know he didn’t hate me for what we did.
“It’s alright…don’t be sorry.” The words were tumbling from my lips before I could stop them, holding him closer than I thought possible. I knew we needed to talk, to work through this, but I didn’t want to scare him away. I just held onto that happiness as we parted and I looked down at him, those same happy crescents beaming up at me. Everything felt right in the world as we walked back to our mother, his hand gripping my wrist.
I remember thinking that everything would work out, that I would finally know how Taemin felt. But I didn’t get the time to actually talk to him, not during the day. I had some many people wanting my attention. Old friends called me up to hang out, my mom wanted to ask me a million questions, my dad wanted to play sports, and girls wanted to go out on dates. I was slightly overwhelmed and it was only my first weekend back.
I didn’t get a break to spend any time to talk with Taemin until late at night when everyone else was asleep. I was nearly passed out myself, but when I heard the familiar sound of footsteps trailing from Taemin’s room to mine, I sat up expectantly. I saw the mop of auburn hair and smiled as the lithe form made its way over to my bed before crawling in and under the comforter to join me.
I felt a stupid grin on my face and noticed the shy looks that Taemin was giving me. At first neither of us spoke, but then my brother turned to me completely and began to speak softly. “Hyung… can we talk about… the day before you left?” I nodded eager to know what he thought, I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to the punch. “I was really confused Minho-hyung, I didn’t know why… why we did that or why I liked it so much. But I did… and I missed you so much. And when I saw you today… I wanted to kiss you all over again.” He paused blushing and my mind was slowly processed what he said, my heart stuttering in response. “Hyung… while you were away though… I-I… I got a boyfriend…”
Suddenly my world stopped and I looked at him with wide eyes. The happiness I felt suddenly fled my system, making my jaw clench uncomfortably. “B-Before you get mad… listen. I-I started dating him when I was really confused and he’s really nice to me hyung. But… everything I feel with him is nothing compared to what I felt in that one kiss before you left… he’s like… a cover up hyung. I don’t want mom and dad thinking I’m weird, because… aren’t these feelings wrong? I shouldn’t want to kiss you right?” Taemin looked confused, tears welling in his eyes, face crumpling delicately.
My instinctive desire to protect him pulled through and I reached out, pulling him close to hold him to my chest. He felt so small and helpless against me and I couldn’t help burying my face in his silky locks, inhaling his clean scent deeply. “It’s wrong to so many other people Minnie~ah… but feelings like these shouldn’t be masked or suppressed because we wind up hurting ourselves so much more. Nothing that can possibly feel this amazing could be wrong…” I pulled back a little, softly cupping his cheek again, looking down on him.
“H-Hyung… can I kiss you again?” It was a soft whisper, just loud enough so that only I could hear. I only gave a little nod, my heart pounding in my chest as I gripped the back of his neck with just enough pressure to drag him forward. It was as if my sickest of prayers were coming true and I couldn’t deny them any longer. The distance was breached as my fingers began to tremble against his skin and our lips met once more.
It was as sweet as honey and as slow as molasses on a cold day. It felt his body shiver as we kissed tenderly and I felt his lips become pliant to mine. There were no sounds to interrupt us and I felt elated when I finally got a true taste of Taemin. He was so pure and soft, the flavor of his lips was no different. I was hypnotized and I couldn’t remember how long we sat there memorizing each others’ mouths with clumsy swipes of tongues and gentle coaxing. All I knew was that it was the best kiss I had ever experienced in my life and I wouldn’t trade it for all the riches in the world.
That night was the beginning of a very slow, rocky road. Taemin and I were very trepid in our progression, keeping in touch while I was away, but due to the distance, I felt like I couldn't keep him happy. He still had his boyfriend, but I knew that I held a much bigger, significant piece of his heart. Plus, as Taemin confirmed, the other guy was just a cover up. He actually did a whole false break up a few months later and tried to be considerate. I thought it was adorable in a sick, twisted way.
My entire first year of college passed like this. There was the slow building of my relationship with Taemin that went further than mere brothers. I would talk to him at night when one of us was lonely and needed the other, just keeping ourselves grounded and connected. When I visited I spent most of my time with him, bringing him along to hang out with my friends then camping out in the evenings in front of the television before retiring to my room to sleep for the night. We never really did much, just soft talks followed by languid kisses in the shadows as I held him close. Our parents never questioned our closeness, they took it to meaning we missed each other, which we did, but it was so much more.
I didn’t get to see him a lot until summer, when school went on break and I was back home, away from my dorm for once. I was able to spend so much free time with him and get so much closer than I thought possible. We experimented in so many ways and learned one another that our relationship flourished at a speed I didn’t think was possible. It was so amazing. When already knew everything about one another, and every kiss, every precious moment spent together just made it so much more special.
Our family decided to venture out of the city for a week vacation, heading the luxurious Jeju Island, away from the tourists in a more secluded bungalow. Our parents were often off doing their own thing, deeming us both old enough to do as we pleased, which often meant sunbathing at the beach and taking dips in the cool water. I would occasionally participate in volleyball with some locals or surf while Taemin watched, but more often times than not, I was attached to my brother’s hip. I kept my arm slung over his shoulder a majority of our time together and would bury my face in his hair to inhale the smell of the beach, sweat, and pure Taemin.
On our last day at the beach, Taemin decided to laze away under the sun’s rays, his skin tanning beautifully. I opted to surf, finding the rhythmic pull of muscles beneath my skin soothing as I just went with the current, finding balance on the board. I was aware of Taemin’s eyes on me, how could I not be when I stole glances at him whenever I could. He was utterly gorgeous in the warm sunlight, head tossed back as light breezes shifted his hair and skin beautifully glistening with slight sweat.
I found myself tearing myself away from the ocean, my board shorts drenched and shirt long discarded at the blanket Taemin laid on. I couldn’t bring myself to stay away from him much longer, and our parents should still be away from the bungalow. I didn’t give him much explanation, just reached down, softly taking his hand before he stood up and led him away. He didn’t talk, just let me drag him back towards our rental space, leaving behind our things. It was a safe community and would stay there until we went back to retrieve it.
Inside the hut, I didn’t give Taemin much time to even realize what I was after before I had him pressed tightly to the wall, kissing him deeply. His eyes were wide in shock for a moment before they slipped shut and his arms slung around my middle. I scaled my hands over his flesh, gathering the granules of sands as they moved over his warm skin. Dried clumps fell to the floor as a lapped at his chapped lips before he opened up for me, kissing me hungrily. The entire vacation had been suppressed hormones and it had finally become too much for the both of us.
I placed my hands on his bottom, hoisting him up easily as his arms moved to hook over my shoulders as we continued to kiss. My legs stumbled down the hallway to our shared room, my mouth finding the salty skin of his neck, nipping at the smooth skin delicately. The taste of his flesh bombarded my senses and I staggered the rest of the way, clumsily dropping him onto the bed, my body pressed on top of his.
I pulled back, looking down, taking in the stunning sight before me. Taemin looked tanned against the stark white sheets, his auburn tresses lightened by the sun fanning out around him as he gave me a coy smile. Nothing could ever amount to his exquisiteness in that moment, in all eternity. I felt my heart clench as I practically gawked over his slender features, my hands trailing to touch his skin once more. My mouth watered and I gave in to every screaming desire within me at the softly uttered ‘hyung’.
I pressed heavy kisses to Taemin’s neck and collar bones, my hands trailing over his shirtless body, memorizing every crevice and dip once more. I felt every levy in my hunger crumble away as he arched, pressing his chest to mine, creating a sweet friction between us and I had to have him. I kissed up his neck, fingers trailing over smooth hipbones at the same time, before I asked softly against the skin beneath his ear. “Are… you… would you… I mean…” My mind couldn’t properly function and my voice seemed too deep with want.
Taemin gave a mewl, his body moving with mine to cause my blood to run hot. It seemed he understood what I meant, and if he didn’t he could surely stop me. I could never hurt my baby brother, there wasn’t a thing in me that would allow it. I dipped my fingers into the waistband of his light blue swim trunks and tugged them down slowly, revealing every beautiful square inch of him to me. My mouth took on a mind of its own, nipping from his collarbone down his chest, taking a pit stop at his erect nipples to tease them soft, lavishing my tongue over each tiny mountain delicately, making him shiver.
His taste and scent invaded my senses as well as the sand on his skin. I continued my way down, taking care to lap at every inch of skin I passed over. I moved all the way down, his erection bumping my chin insistently as he gasped and moaned above me, his body writhing on the bed. I felt myself smirk before I took him in my hand like I had many times before and licked his swollen red tip softly. He gave shout, fingers burying in my hair to tug insistently. I grinned, taking a moment to tease his slit, giving him a few slow pumps of my fist before taking him in.
The flavor of his body was overwhelming as I took him in, savoring his taste as well as I could. I bobbed my head slowly, keeping my hand wrapped around his base to tug softly up and down as he gave muttered sounds of pleasure. When I looked up, making sure that everything was going well, his face was the picture of pure bliss and a shot of desire shot through me and straight to my groin, making my lower half harder. I kept at it, lapping at the underside, feeling the pulse in his member as he groaned in arousal.
I pulled off with a soft pop, licking my lips to gather the last tastes of him as he gave a whine in protest. I merely smirked before lowering my head even more. We had never talked about this preparation before and I wanted to try it, knowing he would enjoy it more than anything else. I gave him a glance and he looked confused. A smirk tugged at my lips before I licked a stripe over his quivering opening softly, making him gasp in shock, nearly sitting up if I didn’t hold him down. I kept my eyes locked on his face, trying to gauge his reaction, lapping softly at his entrance before slipping my tongue into the hot cavern.
The taste of his body was intensified and I let myself give a soft groan. I buried my tongue deeper into him, trying to gather as much of his flavor on my tongue as possible. It was so hot and tight within him that I got lost for a moment, enjoying myself completely with his body. When he gave a loud moan, I finally looked up to see him trembling, making nonsensical noises as his hips swirled on the bed. I felt proud of myself to know I made him such a mess and continued to coat his insides, watching the flush on his cheeks rise slowly.
I pulled back after I found that I couldn’t continue much longer. I was reaching my own limit with the beautiful sounds he was making and I knew I still had a few more steps until he was ready. I leaned over him, silencing his protests with a kiss, smoothing out those delicate features. I pulled back again, reaching over to the bedside table to remove a small bottle I kept handy for when we wanted to play, and smirked down at him. I spread the cool substance on my fingers quickly, warming it slightly before slipping my finger down between his creases, rubbing over his entrance, waiting for a protest.
When I got none, I began to slow, tedious preparation. I kissed him lazily, loving how he gasped into my mouth and moaned and my fingers worked him open slowly. The hungry grip his muscles had on my fingers made me groan in anticipation as I rubbed him on the inside, pushing each finger in deeper. I made sure to take my time, being sure he wasn’t hurt during the whole process. I kissed him, easing his mind from the initial discomfort, and then I allowed him to feel everything as much as possible, smiling down at him as pleasure etched its way onto his features.
I removed my fingers when I was sure he was opened enough, kissing him deeply before I pulled back to coat myself, hissing as the cold hit my too hot skin, reminding me that some things could still be painful. I was quick to return between his legs, looking down to make sure. I caressed his face softly and he tilted to the side, kissing my palm calmly and I felt my heart melt. Any doubts I had about him not wanting this were melted away and I leaned forward, kissing him slowly. I kept my mouth on his as I reached down and slowly pressed into him.
I pressed in and the tightest grip I had ever felt encased my erection. I gave a loud moan, easily masking Taemin’s grunt and whimper of pain, but I knew this first moment would be far from pleasurable for him. So I pushed aside that pulsing desire to ram into him hard and fast, kissing him slowly to distract him from the pain. I pressed inside him slowly, trying not to give away how absolutely amazing it felt as I kissed away the tears on his cheeks. I knew it would take a while for him to adjust, so I tried my best at soothing him as he kept that unbearable tight grip on me below.
I shushed and soothed him, speaking sweetly into his ear until he was pliant underneath me, his hold not as tight as before. I gave a test thrust, and when he gave more of a moan then a groan, I knew he was ready. I gave him one last, passionate kiss before I began to slowly rock deep within him. I wanted to be sure he was going to be okay, I wanted to make sure that he was safe. So despite the urge to tear into his beautiful body until he screamed was so strong I could have cried, I kept it so slow that I thought I was going to die from pleasure overload.
Everything was careful and languid. I moved rocked into that amazingly tight body as gently as I could muster as my muscles shuddered in protest, but I held on as I kept up the continuous slow thrusts. I kissed at his skin, tasting him, loving him, feeling him. Everything in that moment was Taemin. I had never felt as complete as I had in the moment in time with him beneath me, moaning my name over and over again in a soft chant. I reached between us, stroking Taemin to provide him with more pleasure as I watched his face contort into a beautiful mask of pleasure.
It seemed to end too soon, but watching Taemin sent me over the edge with a grunt. I spilled into my brother, tightening my grip on him as I came, pulling harshly. He gave a cry as I saw white hot, I couldn’t think straight. I felt his release on my hand as I blindly rode out my orgasm, my mind blank with pure ecstasy and I gave a mumble into his neck. It was a memorable night, one where we became one. I held him close and whispered promises of love that I knew I could keep. I could never hate Taemin, no matter what he did.
The happiest and saddest day of my life came after Taemin’s graduation from high school. We were still a strong couple, dating secretly, but desperately in love with one another. I couldn’t envision life any other way. I had everything I wanted, but nothing could stay perfect forever could it?
I was home for the summer again and I was lounging around with Taemin in the living room. We were watching TV and I had my arm slung over his shoulder in a brotherly gesture while he secretly has his own around my waist. His golden hair tickled my face as we watched a drama together, his eyes and body reacting to the show the entire time, making me smile down at him. He was still endearingly adorable after all this time and I loved it.
Our parents walked into the room, their faces looking grave. I sat up, flicking off the television and turned to them concerned. A million thoughts ran through my mind, but the one on the forefront was that they found out about Taemin and myself and would force us apart. But the words that came from their mouths shocked me more than I thought could be possible.
“We need to talk to you both…” my mom said softly, letting my dad step forward. Tears were in her eyes and I knew something was terribly wrong. I felt myself immediately pulling Taemin close, hugging him to my side to comfort him without even knowing the news.
My father gave a sigh, glaring at my mother before clearing his throat. “We wanted to tell you boys that we are getting a divorce… Now, it isn’t something either of you did… we decided this long ago but decided to stay together to keep you two in a healthy nurturing environment. We wanted to wait until after Taemin graduated to do this.” He cleared his throat again and looked back at our mom, who stepped forward and gave us a watery smile.
“We want you boys to still keep close to one another… so we decided to let you take up in a small apartment near Minho’s college. You two get along so well and we want you happy. We’ll always visit, but we cannot stay together anymore, living this lie…” My mother gave a soft cry, but the trembling at my side became more of my concern and I turned to see Taemin shaking, tears rolling down his cheeks.
I felt my protective instincts kick in and I immediately reached out, wrapping my arms tightly around him, pulling him into my chest. He cried for a good while and I tried to soothe him. Our parents had left to give us our space and I couldn’t understand why he was so upset, but I could only think of the privacy of our own home. I gave a kiss to his forehead and gently soothed him.
Slowly he stopped crying and gave me a watery smile. “Will we ever split up hyung?” I shook my head immediately, denying his question. I couldn’t fathom a world without him in it. I smiled a little when he brightened up. “We’ll be living alone together…” It was a beautiful prospect and I couldn’t wait to start the new chapter of our lives with him and him alone.
Pairing: 2min
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Smut, Incest, slight angst
Word Count: 6,819 words
Notes: Written for ellinana for her hankering for incest smut :)
Summary: Minho remembers how his relationship with his younger brother Taemin developed over the years.
I don’t know when it really started or how it progressed so rapidly, but everything in my world seemed to revolve around him now. His cherubic smile, the way his lips would curl secretively or widely when he was happy, captivated my attention to no end, leaving me breathless. Those expressive eyes that let me see into his mind no matter how guarded he wanted to be. They would shine with happiness, storm with sadness, and flash with anger according to his mood and I couldn’t stop watching in fear of missing any miniscule emotion that would cross his features. Golden locks of silken honey wisped in front of those windows to his soul and I found my fingers inching to touch them, to brush them out of the way.
I remember the first time my restraints were tested. I was a good brother; I kept him from harm’s way, even if it meant it was me. I wanted to coddle him, but I couldn’t because it was so utterly wrong. I first noticed how delicately beautiful he was when he was thirteen and I was fifteen. I remember it like it was yesterday, the realization that I was possibly the sickest, worst brother in all mankind. What brother thought his sibling was beautiful?
The bright sound of barking greeted our ears as we returned home. Taemin gasped in shock, his bright eyes looking up at me before he ran off into the living room, his short hair cut bouncing slightly. I laughed a little, knowing that the entire family had planned the puppy as a birthday gift for my little brother. I was fifteen and I had chosen the gift since we decided on a family gift for my brother.
I followed after his smaller form, grinning back at our mom that had a bright smile on her face as she heard Taemin give a squeal of delight. “Omo! You’re so cute!” I walked into the living room to see our dad sitting in front of a small box with a tiny, long haired dachshund puppy poking its head out of the top and a lopsided green bow tied around its thin neck. A pink tongue flopped out of his mouth and his tail was waggling away as Taemin gripped his tiny body, pulling out the eager bundle of fir into his lap and holding him close. “Oh! Thank you appa and umma! He’s so adorable…”
“Oh Taemiri…” It was my mother speaking up. She must have seen the disappointed look on my face. I was the only one that knew that Taemin wanted a puppy and I had suggested it. They were taking all of the credit for my great idea. “It was Minho’s idea to get you the puppy… he even picked him out.”
I felt a swell of pride in my chest as Taemin’s bright orbs turned to look at me, his smile wider than ever. “Thanks hyung, it’s the best gift ever.” I felt my breath catch in my chest for a moment and my heart stuttered. That look, that innocent, completely adorable look… I had seen it a million times, but the way the light radiated off of him, casting this glow just made me stop and stare for a moment. He looked so happy, so frail, and so beautiful. I could only nod my head and try to keep composure as I reasoned with myself for this new feeling in my chest.
I had never been so confused in my short life. I thought it must have been a play of the lights or just myself overreacting to the happy moment. So I shoved the thought away again and again. But after that day, I began to notice just how pretty he was. How the sun caught his hair or how he puffed his cheeks adorably. I didn’t know what to do; I was only fifteen at the time. I knew I couldn’t turn to my father, I couldn’t run to talk to my mother… they would disown me in a heartbeat.
So I dealt with the confusing emotions as well as I could. I pushed Taemin away, I tried asking girls out, but it was slowly proving to be in vain. I would compare the girls to my brother, finding all of their pretty and false appearances falling short of my own kin. I tried desperately to avoid him, to keep him away from me and my impure thoughts. I was young, I was confused and I just wanted to run away.
Taemin’s sad eyes haunted me. He became so forlorn and so withdrawn. My heart clenched and I knew the reason behind it was own selfish actions. If I didn’t push him away or have those strange thoughts, then he would be fine and we could be normal brothers. But after a year of keeping him as far from me as he could, we snapped. I couldn’t keep his appearance in a constant depression; I wanted to see him smiling like the sun’s rays again. I had to keep Taemin happy, because his happiness meant my world and I was okay with that.
Dinner was so tense and silent. Our parents couldn’t figure out how or why we grew apart in the past year, but we had. It was all might fault. I couldn't look at my brother in fear of him seeing through my cold indifference. I didn’t want him to see how much I thought about him, how beautiful I found him. I didn’t want him to know I dreamt about him at night or that I watched him secretively as he went through the motions of everyday living.
It was so wrong to be this obsessed with Taemin, but I was. I was utterly devoted to him and he didn’t even know it. I wanted to give him the world. I wanted to hold him close and never share him again, but that wasn’t normal… I was still fighting it, fighting that overwhelming desire to love him unconditionally.
After dinner, I avoided his sad gaze, going to my bedroom to work on homework and try to keep my thoughts from his smile, his eyes, just him in general. I worked diligently, stopping once I grew tired and crawled in my bed. I was drifting to sleep when I heard the sound of feet in the hallway before there was a sound at my door and it creaked open. I sat up slowly, seeing a dull light coming from the hallway and I could make out the shape immediately. Taemin was standing at my door with his pillow clutched in his arms.
I didn’t even have to ask, being his big brother I already knew. I held out my arm to him and his reaction was immediate. He closed my door before scurrying to my bed and pressing straight into my side, his body trembling. “Minho-hyung… it was so scary… I dreamt… I dreamt that you never wanted to speak to me again, that you hated me and disowned me as a brother. H-Hyung… do you hate me?” Taemin was crying into my shoulder and guilt immediately clawed at my heart.
He had the nightmare because of me, because of my fears. He didn’t deserve this. I needed to figure out how to still be his brother without hurting him with my actions or my inappropriate thoughts. I held him close, breathing in his sweet, warm scent before humming softly in his ear. “Taemin-ah… I could never hate you. You’re the best little brother anyone could ever want. Don’t… don’t be afraid. I’m sorry I’ve been so cold… I won’t be anymore. I promise… it was nothing you did. It was just me.”
I kissed his forehead as he nodded, seeming placated with my answer. That night I held him close and kept his nightmares at bay. I resigned to my fate of loving my brother as more than just that, a brother. I would have to learn to live with it and I fell asleep to his beautiful face.
For years I learned to deal with it, to cope with the feelings no elder brother should have. I treated Taemin like any normal sibling would. I protected him, helped him, and kept a safe distance. I never let him know how I felt, I never planned to. He deserved a normal life; he didn’t need to be screwed up like I was. Though I had come to terms with my feelings for him, I didn’t expect him to ever have to deal with my crazy emotions. He didn’t need to be tainted by my obsessions.
I remembered when he first started having crushes, so eager to tell me about them. I wanted to grab him and shake some sense into him. I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to console him. In the end, I helped him to win those he liked and soothed his breaking heart when those relationships ended. I was his brother, his sick twisted brother, but I was just his brother. I would never be more, could never be. At least that’s what I thought…
It was my last day home before I would move into the dorms of my new college. Maybe the fresh start would help me move on, get over the ongoing crush on Taemin. I was so hopeful. I was packing in my room, neatly putting away my last bits of clothes, my room nearly barren and packed away in boxes so I felt more at home when I was away. But I knew no matter where I went nothing would feel like home unless Taemin was there. That thought alone would have made my stomach churn years before, now it just left me with a soft, warm feeling.
I had my ear buds in my ears, blaring some rap song against my innocent ear drums. I bopped my head along, ready for the beginning of a new way of life. I just needed to get myself into the mindset that was all… just needed to remove myself from my overly adorable, too gorgeous baby brother. That was all I needed.
So when I felt a light hand on my shoulder when I was so engrossed in my thoughts over getting over this seemingly endless phase, I nearly jumped out of my skin, providing the intruder with a startled scream. I yanked the ear buds from my ears and looked around wildly. I heard a soft, tinkling laugh and looked down at the now auburn haired boy who had mirth in his every feature. I couldn’t even bare to pretend to be mad, I was leaving him behind in less than twenty-four hours and I knew we both didn’t want this. We were best friends, brothers, and he was my world.
“Mian hyung… I just wanted to see if you needed any help.” He was giving that slightly forced smile and I knew he didn’t want me to go. It made me feel smug for a moment to know that I could evoke that kind of emotion in him, but I had to pull it in. Taemin was innocent in all of this; he didn’t know of my feelings and was just suffering from losing his brother for the first time.
I merely gave him a smile, reaching forward to lightly tickle his side, making him jump away quickly, a look of surprise on his features. “Anniyo, I’m nearly done…” The flush on Taemin’s cheeks as he watched me warily made me want to tickle him again just to spite him. I waited until he relaxed, his posture going lax, mouth opening to answer me before I lunged on him, attacking his side with my fingers.
“Hyung!” he shouted in protest, laughing as he squirmed, trying to pull away. But I couldn’t stop; it was too cute to watch him laugh until tears of the painful laughs rolled down his cheeks. I had him backed into a wall by then and when I stopped, I felt my heart stutter. I had my hand on either side of his body, looking down as he peered up at me. His smile slowly slipped away, his eyes growing wider as I just watched. I was held there by his gaze, I couldn’t move if I tried and I think he knew this. I think Taemin could read my mind and he knew he made my heart skip a beat, made my breath catch in my throat, and caused my muscles to lose their functions. He had to have known, it was the only explanation.
I watched as Taemin watched me, feeling my heart thunder in my chest. I needed to pull back and I started to until I heard that soft whisper. “Hyung…” I stopped, looking back down, catching the wide eyed gaze. One of Taemin’s small hands reached up, touching my cheek before leaving feather like caresses through my long locks of hair. I felt like I was on fire, if only for that moment, that tender moment as my brother held me captive with his gaze. “Don’t… Don’t forget about me when you go away… I don’t want us to grow apart again, never again.” His voice was so soft and filled with hurt, I felt my chest constrict and I wanted, no needed to protect him from myself yet again.
I reached up with one hand, softly touching the side of his neck, cradling his face somewhat. “Taemin~ah… that will never happen again, I promise. I could never forget about you. You know I’m coming back to visit every break and every other weekend. I should worry about you forgetting about me.” The truth to that statement stung a bit and I looked away. Taemin was still eager and learning and anyone he met could steal away his attention easily.
I felt his warm flesh against my fingertips and I forgot where I was, who I was. I didn’t think of how dangerous the situation was as we stood there, just looking, searching within each other. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but apparently Taemin did, his lips curling in that adorable smile before he stuttered out a soft. “A-Anniyo…” I saw the blush flourish on his cheeks, felt the warmth that spread down to his neck and I couldn’t believe my luck as my breath caught in my chest again. How was even a part of this beautiful creature’s life when I was so tainted, so disturbed?
I can’t remember how it exactly happened, I don’t know who moved first, but it was nearly instantaneous. I was closing my eyes to try to regain my head, or was I just doing it to savor the oncoming feeling? I couldn’t tell you, but when my mouth sealed onto his I felt time stop all together. His head was tilted to the side compliantly and his mouth didn’t utter a protest or freeze in shock. Rather those tantalizing, warm lips pressed against mine insistently and I found myself easily giving in. Our mouths stayed closed, I was too scared to do much more, but it was the sweetest feeling in the world. My fingers tangled in his mess of auburn locks and I drowned myself in him, forgetting everything for that moment as he let me possess him.
Just as I let myself give in completely, opening my mouth just slightly to taste his lips, I heard footsteps before there was a knock at the door. I had ripped myself away from him as quick as I could, eyes wide in shock and fear. I didn’t know what would happen if someone caught us, I didn’t know if Taemin even wanted it. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide… but I couldn’t. But as soon as the door opened, my brother darted out, covering his mouth with that same blush on his cheeks as our mom walked in. I didn’t see him again that night, and when I went off in the morning, we shared an awkward hug and then I was leaving the train station, finding myself hoping that we weren’t completely torn apart again by my rash actions.
For the first time in my life I felt so guilty that I couldn’t eat or sleep properly for days. I tried to call and talk to Taemin, but everything I tried was in vain. I wouldn’t be able to return home for the first few weeks because I needed to adjust to the college lifestyle, but I honestly missed my brother more than anything. So after a month of restless nights, endless work out sessions and several attempts to move on, I was heading home on the same train that took me to school. I was so worried, so scared that Taemin hated me more than anyone else in the world.
Had he finally realized what a perverted, sick, twisted person I was? Did he no longer love me as family and completely disowned me? I know that kiss showed how much I honestly loved him, how much I would give him if I could. I wanted to provide him with security and normalcy, but nothing was normal about my feelings. So fear and guilt gnawed at my stomach and several times during the trip home I made visits to the bathroom to heave into the toilet. Nerves were never my strong suit, especially when it came to Taemin, only time would tell if he still cared for me, if only as his sibling.
When my eyes fell on him for the first time in a month, my heart stopped it’s dull, pathetic beating and restarted with something akin to thunder as it pounded in my chest, against my ribcage. The sun was spilling over his smooth skin, lighting up that red hair that looked brilliant with his slender face. His eyes were downcast as he played with something in his hands that I couldn’t make out from the distance, but when our mother nudged him to look towards me, his head shot up and that brilliant smile was directed towards me.
I didn't expect it, but when a streak of bobbing red hair was dashing towards me, I could hardly believe my luck. I felt his frail body collide with mine, arms clinging tightly to my neck as I heard his willowy voice speak over and over. “Minho-hyung… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” I could hardly find my bearings as I tried not to topple over from the force of his hug before wrapping my arms securely around him, holding him close. It was one of the best sensations in the world to hold him so close, to know he didn’t hate me for what we did.
“It’s alright…don’t be sorry.” The words were tumbling from my lips before I could stop them, holding him closer than I thought possible. I knew we needed to talk, to work through this, but I didn’t want to scare him away. I just held onto that happiness as we parted and I looked down at him, those same happy crescents beaming up at me. Everything felt right in the world as we walked back to our mother, his hand gripping my wrist.
I remember thinking that everything would work out, that I would finally know how Taemin felt. But I didn’t get the time to actually talk to him, not during the day. I had some many people wanting my attention. Old friends called me up to hang out, my mom wanted to ask me a million questions, my dad wanted to play sports, and girls wanted to go out on dates. I was slightly overwhelmed and it was only my first weekend back.
I didn’t get a break to spend any time to talk with Taemin until late at night when everyone else was asleep. I was nearly passed out myself, but when I heard the familiar sound of footsteps trailing from Taemin’s room to mine, I sat up expectantly. I saw the mop of auburn hair and smiled as the lithe form made its way over to my bed before crawling in and under the comforter to join me.
I felt a stupid grin on my face and noticed the shy looks that Taemin was giving me. At first neither of us spoke, but then my brother turned to me completely and began to speak softly. “Hyung… can we talk about… the day before you left?” I nodded eager to know what he thought, I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to the punch. “I was really confused Minho-hyung, I didn’t know why… why we did that or why I liked it so much. But I did… and I missed you so much. And when I saw you today… I wanted to kiss you all over again.” He paused blushing and my mind was slowly processed what he said, my heart stuttering in response. “Hyung… while you were away though… I-I… I got a boyfriend…”
Suddenly my world stopped and I looked at him with wide eyes. The happiness I felt suddenly fled my system, making my jaw clench uncomfortably. “B-Before you get mad… listen. I-I started dating him when I was really confused and he’s really nice to me hyung. But… everything I feel with him is nothing compared to what I felt in that one kiss before you left… he’s like… a cover up hyung. I don’t want mom and dad thinking I’m weird, because… aren’t these feelings wrong? I shouldn’t want to kiss you right?” Taemin looked confused, tears welling in his eyes, face crumpling delicately.
My instinctive desire to protect him pulled through and I reached out, pulling him close to hold him to my chest. He felt so small and helpless against me and I couldn’t help burying my face in his silky locks, inhaling his clean scent deeply. “It’s wrong to so many other people Minnie~ah… but feelings like these shouldn’t be masked or suppressed because we wind up hurting ourselves so much more. Nothing that can possibly feel this amazing could be wrong…” I pulled back a little, softly cupping his cheek again, looking down on him.
“H-Hyung… can I kiss you again?” It was a soft whisper, just loud enough so that only I could hear. I only gave a little nod, my heart pounding in my chest as I gripped the back of his neck with just enough pressure to drag him forward. It was as if my sickest of prayers were coming true and I couldn’t deny them any longer. The distance was breached as my fingers began to tremble against his skin and our lips met once more.
It was as sweet as honey and as slow as molasses on a cold day. It felt his body shiver as we kissed tenderly and I felt his lips become pliant to mine. There were no sounds to interrupt us and I felt elated when I finally got a true taste of Taemin. He was so pure and soft, the flavor of his lips was no different. I was hypnotized and I couldn’t remember how long we sat there memorizing each others’ mouths with clumsy swipes of tongues and gentle coaxing. All I knew was that it was the best kiss I had ever experienced in my life and I wouldn’t trade it for all the riches in the world.
That night was the beginning of a very slow, rocky road. Taemin and I were very trepid in our progression, keeping in touch while I was away, but due to the distance, I felt like I couldn't keep him happy. He still had his boyfriend, but I knew that I held a much bigger, significant piece of his heart. Plus, as Taemin confirmed, the other guy was just a cover up. He actually did a whole false break up a few months later and tried to be considerate. I thought it was adorable in a sick, twisted way.
My entire first year of college passed like this. There was the slow building of my relationship with Taemin that went further than mere brothers. I would talk to him at night when one of us was lonely and needed the other, just keeping ourselves grounded and connected. When I visited I spent most of my time with him, bringing him along to hang out with my friends then camping out in the evenings in front of the television before retiring to my room to sleep for the night. We never really did much, just soft talks followed by languid kisses in the shadows as I held him close. Our parents never questioned our closeness, they took it to meaning we missed each other, which we did, but it was so much more.
I didn’t get to see him a lot until summer, when school went on break and I was back home, away from my dorm for once. I was able to spend so much free time with him and get so much closer than I thought possible. We experimented in so many ways and learned one another that our relationship flourished at a speed I didn’t think was possible. It was so amazing. When already knew everything about one another, and every kiss, every precious moment spent together just made it so much more special.
Our family decided to venture out of the city for a week vacation, heading the luxurious Jeju Island, away from the tourists in a more secluded bungalow. Our parents were often off doing their own thing, deeming us both old enough to do as we pleased, which often meant sunbathing at the beach and taking dips in the cool water. I would occasionally participate in volleyball with some locals or surf while Taemin watched, but more often times than not, I was attached to my brother’s hip. I kept my arm slung over his shoulder a majority of our time together and would bury my face in his hair to inhale the smell of the beach, sweat, and pure Taemin.
On our last day at the beach, Taemin decided to laze away under the sun’s rays, his skin tanning beautifully. I opted to surf, finding the rhythmic pull of muscles beneath my skin soothing as I just went with the current, finding balance on the board. I was aware of Taemin’s eyes on me, how could I not be when I stole glances at him whenever I could. He was utterly gorgeous in the warm sunlight, head tossed back as light breezes shifted his hair and skin beautifully glistening with slight sweat.
I found myself tearing myself away from the ocean, my board shorts drenched and shirt long discarded at the blanket Taemin laid on. I couldn’t bring myself to stay away from him much longer, and our parents should still be away from the bungalow. I didn’t give him much explanation, just reached down, softly taking his hand before he stood up and led him away. He didn’t talk, just let me drag him back towards our rental space, leaving behind our things. It was a safe community and would stay there until we went back to retrieve it.
Inside the hut, I didn’t give Taemin much time to even realize what I was after before I had him pressed tightly to the wall, kissing him deeply. His eyes were wide in shock for a moment before they slipped shut and his arms slung around my middle. I scaled my hands over his flesh, gathering the granules of sands as they moved over his warm skin. Dried clumps fell to the floor as a lapped at his chapped lips before he opened up for me, kissing me hungrily. The entire vacation had been suppressed hormones and it had finally become too much for the both of us.
I placed my hands on his bottom, hoisting him up easily as his arms moved to hook over my shoulders as we continued to kiss. My legs stumbled down the hallway to our shared room, my mouth finding the salty skin of his neck, nipping at the smooth skin delicately. The taste of his flesh bombarded my senses and I staggered the rest of the way, clumsily dropping him onto the bed, my body pressed on top of his.
I pulled back, looking down, taking in the stunning sight before me. Taemin looked tanned against the stark white sheets, his auburn tresses lightened by the sun fanning out around him as he gave me a coy smile. Nothing could ever amount to his exquisiteness in that moment, in all eternity. I felt my heart clench as I practically gawked over his slender features, my hands trailing to touch his skin once more. My mouth watered and I gave in to every screaming desire within me at the softly uttered ‘hyung’.
I pressed heavy kisses to Taemin’s neck and collar bones, my hands trailing over his shirtless body, memorizing every crevice and dip once more. I felt every levy in my hunger crumble away as he arched, pressing his chest to mine, creating a sweet friction between us and I had to have him. I kissed up his neck, fingers trailing over smooth hipbones at the same time, before I asked softly against the skin beneath his ear. “Are… you… would you… I mean…” My mind couldn’t properly function and my voice seemed too deep with want.
Taemin gave a mewl, his body moving with mine to cause my blood to run hot. It seemed he understood what I meant, and if he didn’t he could surely stop me. I could never hurt my baby brother, there wasn’t a thing in me that would allow it. I dipped my fingers into the waistband of his light blue swim trunks and tugged them down slowly, revealing every beautiful square inch of him to me. My mouth took on a mind of its own, nipping from his collarbone down his chest, taking a pit stop at his erect nipples to tease them soft, lavishing my tongue over each tiny mountain delicately, making him shiver.
His taste and scent invaded my senses as well as the sand on his skin. I continued my way down, taking care to lap at every inch of skin I passed over. I moved all the way down, his erection bumping my chin insistently as he gasped and moaned above me, his body writhing on the bed. I felt myself smirk before I took him in my hand like I had many times before and licked his swollen red tip softly. He gave shout, fingers burying in my hair to tug insistently. I grinned, taking a moment to tease his slit, giving him a few slow pumps of my fist before taking him in.
The flavor of his body was overwhelming as I took him in, savoring his taste as well as I could. I bobbed my head slowly, keeping my hand wrapped around his base to tug softly up and down as he gave muttered sounds of pleasure. When I looked up, making sure that everything was going well, his face was the picture of pure bliss and a shot of desire shot through me and straight to my groin, making my lower half harder. I kept at it, lapping at the underside, feeling the pulse in his member as he groaned in arousal.
I pulled off with a soft pop, licking my lips to gather the last tastes of him as he gave a whine in protest. I merely smirked before lowering my head even more. We had never talked about this preparation before and I wanted to try it, knowing he would enjoy it more than anything else. I gave him a glance and he looked confused. A smirk tugged at my lips before I licked a stripe over his quivering opening softly, making him gasp in shock, nearly sitting up if I didn’t hold him down. I kept my eyes locked on his face, trying to gauge his reaction, lapping softly at his entrance before slipping my tongue into the hot cavern.
The taste of his body was intensified and I let myself give a soft groan. I buried my tongue deeper into him, trying to gather as much of his flavor on my tongue as possible. It was so hot and tight within him that I got lost for a moment, enjoying myself completely with his body. When he gave a loud moan, I finally looked up to see him trembling, making nonsensical noises as his hips swirled on the bed. I felt proud of myself to know I made him such a mess and continued to coat his insides, watching the flush on his cheeks rise slowly.
I pulled back after I found that I couldn’t continue much longer. I was reaching my own limit with the beautiful sounds he was making and I knew I still had a few more steps until he was ready. I leaned over him, silencing his protests with a kiss, smoothing out those delicate features. I pulled back again, reaching over to the bedside table to remove a small bottle I kept handy for when we wanted to play, and smirked down at him. I spread the cool substance on my fingers quickly, warming it slightly before slipping my finger down between his creases, rubbing over his entrance, waiting for a protest.
When I got none, I began to slow, tedious preparation. I kissed him lazily, loving how he gasped into my mouth and moaned and my fingers worked him open slowly. The hungry grip his muscles had on my fingers made me groan in anticipation as I rubbed him on the inside, pushing each finger in deeper. I made sure to take my time, being sure he wasn’t hurt during the whole process. I kissed him, easing his mind from the initial discomfort, and then I allowed him to feel everything as much as possible, smiling down at him as pleasure etched its way onto his features.
I removed my fingers when I was sure he was opened enough, kissing him deeply before I pulled back to coat myself, hissing as the cold hit my too hot skin, reminding me that some things could still be painful. I was quick to return between his legs, looking down to make sure. I caressed his face softly and he tilted to the side, kissing my palm calmly and I felt my heart melt. Any doubts I had about him not wanting this were melted away and I leaned forward, kissing him slowly. I kept my mouth on his as I reached down and slowly pressed into him.
I pressed in and the tightest grip I had ever felt encased my erection. I gave a loud moan, easily masking Taemin’s grunt and whimper of pain, but I knew this first moment would be far from pleasurable for him. So I pushed aside that pulsing desire to ram into him hard and fast, kissing him slowly to distract him from the pain. I pressed inside him slowly, trying not to give away how absolutely amazing it felt as I kissed away the tears on his cheeks. I knew it would take a while for him to adjust, so I tried my best at soothing him as he kept that unbearable tight grip on me below.
I shushed and soothed him, speaking sweetly into his ear until he was pliant underneath me, his hold not as tight as before. I gave a test thrust, and when he gave more of a moan then a groan, I knew he was ready. I gave him one last, passionate kiss before I began to slowly rock deep within him. I wanted to be sure he was going to be okay, I wanted to make sure that he was safe. So despite the urge to tear into his beautiful body until he screamed was so strong I could have cried, I kept it so slow that I thought I was going to die from pleasure overload.
Everything was careful and languid. I moved rocked into that amazingly tight body as gently as I could muster as my muscles shuddered in protest, but I held on as I kept up the continuous slow thrusts. I kissed at his skin, tasting him, loving him, feeling him. Everything in that moment was Taemin. I had never felt as complete as I had in the moment in time with him beneath me, moaning my name over and over again in a soft chant. I reached between us, stroking Taemin to provide him with more pleasure as I watched his face contort into a beautiful mask of pleasure.
It seemed to end too soon, but watching Taemin sent me over the edge with a grunt. I spilled into my brother, tightening my grip on him as I came, pulling harshly. He gave a cry as I saw white hot, I couldn’t think straight. I felt his release on my hand as I blindly rode out my orgasm, my mind blank with pure ecstasy and I gave a mumble into his neck. It was a memorable night, one where we became one. I held him close and whispered promises of love that I knew I could keep. I could never hate Taemin, no matter what he did.
The happiest and saddest day of my life came after Taemin’s graduation from high school. We were still a strong couple, dating secretly, but desperately in love with one another. I couldn’t envision life any other way. I had everything I wanted, but nothing could stay perfect forever could it?
I was home for the summer again and I was lounging around with Taemin in the living room. We were watching TV and I had my arm slung over his shoulder in a brotherly gesture while he secretly has his own around my waist. His golden hair tickled my face as we watched a drama together, his eyes and body reacting to the show the entire time, making me smile down at him. He was still endearingly adorable after all this time and I loved it.
Our parents walked into the room, their faces looking grave. I sat up, flicking off the television and turned to them concerned. A million thoughts ran through my mind, but the one on the forefront was that they found out about Taemin and myself and would force us apart. But the words that came from their mouths shocked me more than I thought could be possible.
“We need to talk to you both…” my mom said softly, letting my dad step forward. Tears were in her eyes and I knew something was terribly wrong. I felt myself immediately pulling Taemin close, hugging him to my side to comfort him without even knowing the news.
My father gave a sigh, glaring at my mother before clearing his throat. “We wanted to tell you boys that we are getting a divorce… Now, it isn’t something either of you did… we decided this long ago but decided to stay together to keep you two in a healthy nurturing environment. We wanted to wait until after Taemin graduated to do this.” He cleared his throat again and looked back at our mom, who stepped forward and gave us a watery smile.
“We want you boys to still keep close to one another… so we decided to let you take up in a small apartment near Minho’s college. You two get along so well and we want you happy. We’ll always visit, but we cannot stay together anymore, living this lie…” My mother gave a soft cry, but the trembling at my side became more of my concern and I turned to see Taemin shaking, tears rolling down his cheeks.
I felt my protective instincts kick in and I immediately reached out, wrapping my arms tightly around him, pulling him into my chest. He cried for a good while and I tried to soothe him. Our parents had left to give us our space and I couldn’t understand why he was so upset, but I could only think of the privacy of our own home. I gave a kiss to his forehead and gently soothed him.
Slowly he stopped crying and gave me a watery smile. “Will we ever split up hyung?” I shook my head immediately, denying his question. I couldn’t fathom a world without him in it. I smiled a little when he brightened up. “We’ll be living alone together…” It was a beautiful prospect and I couldn’t wait to start the new chapter of our lives with him and him alone.