CHAOS | We All Know the Way | Billy/Casey | R
Title We All Know the Way
Author asemic
Pairing: Billy/Casey
Summary: Billy tries to figure everything out.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
A/N: I can only write relationship origin stories. Nothing wrong with that, IMO.
“This doesn’t change anything.”
Casey dried his hands on a towel and slipped out the front door.
Billy kicked off his jeans and tossed his t-shirt to the floor. A semen stain splotched across the grey fabric.
“The fuck it doesn’t.”
***
They fucked on a Wednesday.
Did it matter why?
No.
Billy could replay the events of the entire day, the entire week leading up to the moment where they stumbled to Casey’s bed.
He won’t. There was no point. All roads led to the same outcome.
They fucked on a Wednesday.
***
Casey’s weak spot was behind his right knee.
When Billy licked it Casey pulled at the sheets. He slid a finger up along his calf to that spot and over his kneecap. Watched him melt.
Casey promised he’d do anything say anything from that point on. He needed Billy to hurry the hell up. But Billy took his time. He wanted him to suffer and take in all those little words.
He intended his promises to be kept.
***
“What is this?”
Casey didn’t bother responding as he shoved Billy on the bed.
“Stop. Answer me.”
Casey blinked because everything was self-evident. “Sex. Do you want to do this or not?”
Billy grabbed Casey by his belt and yanked him closer. He bit him on the forearm.
“Don’t hold back.”
He left red marks all over Casey, some daring enough to peek from his sleeves.
Goodness, what would the others think?
***
The space beside him was warm.
Light cracked through the blinds welcoming him to another delightful morning. Bravo. He should move: carpe diem, the world was his oyster.
Yeah.
Instead he curled closer to the edge of the bed and shut his eyes.
At least have the dignity to say goodbye.
***
Work stayed the same.
But.
Sometimes he stepped outside himself and threw Casey on the desk and blew him. Thick licks with the flat of his tongue while their fearless leader and Rick watched with gaped mouths.
And then Martinez would call his name one more time and he’d snap out of his thoughts and focus on the task at hand.
Because things don’t change at work.
Nothing can ever happen.
***
The box of condoms stashed in Casey’s end table drop a few between visits.
Blonde. Brunette. Blond. Brunet.
The occasional redhead.
Casey had them all.
Billy wasn’t jealous. Bleed with a man, stand by his side as you throw a punch and take a few more and you’ve got something deeper than simple penetration.
You’ve got history.
Try tossing that in the trash.
***
He usually hated Mondays.
Billy stared at the clock as the numbers flicked closer to releasing that dreadful blaring noise. Every action from the shower to the elevator ride up was one march fueled by caffeine and a lack of intelligent thought.
But today wasn’t that kind of Monday.
Billy was still damp from the shower and flat on his back. He had a mouth around his cock and two fingers up his ass.
Not a bad way to start the week.
***
He fucked only a handful of co-workers when they were separated by offices and floors.
This was different. Casey was different. Of course he was. Everything about Casey was what he shouldn’t want.
They slept together enough for it to be something, worked together longer so it had meaning.
The entire situation made him laugh. And Christ, did he laugh. Michael asked what was so hysterical, but Billy couldn’t answer.
He was doubled over his paperwork choking to death.
***
For some reason he cared, cared deeply.
Shit, he knew the reason. Sentimentality and that pesky thing called emotional attachment were his weaknesses.
What could he say? He’s an admitted flowers and chocolate man.
Casey knew. Of course he did. The man was a bloodhound for such things. Best to weed the chaff from the grain and keep the dreaded r word at bay.
But he stepped in with Billy. That had to mean something. The man had a heart; shit, Billy got his pulse racing. Who knew why? In the end he didn’t need a reason.
Casey came back.
***
To reiterate, nothing changed at work.
Casey’s reaction to Billy getting the shit beat out of his was normal. He’d smash someone’s face into a concrete wall for any one of them. Michael would have to tear him off the goon if Rick got smacked around.
His eyes were dead and cold when he broke the man’s jaw.
They were focused on Billy.
Billy stumbled for a few steps, blew blood from his nostrils, and tried to find his footing. Casey swept an arm around his waist to support him. He held him close and didn’t let go until they reached the plane.
Nothing was different. Everything was the same.
***
It happened at once.
The knock on his door led to a soft shuffle of clothing and the hard press of their mouths. Hands moved along skin and teeth and tongues followed.
They made it as far as the sofa.
Casey didn’t leave.
***
They trained together in a private gym, Billy dodging and weaving around Casey.
“Don’t go easy on me, old man.” Billy nailed Casey in the side. He laughed until everything tipped over and his spine slammed into the mat.
“You leave yourself open every time.” Casey’s smirk pissed him off. The knee in his chest and the hands pressed into his shoulders add to his irritation.
Still.
Billy reached out and cupped Casey’s groin. “Not the only one.”
This was a match they both could win.
***
“This one?”
“Morocco. I was fast, but the bullet was faster.”
Billy mouthed below Casey’s ribs, tongued a line a scar tissue.
“Shanghai. He ruined a perfectly good shirt.”
“Heaven forbid.” Billy worked his way to a small indent in Casey’s side.
Casey chuckled as Billy sucked lightly. “A moment of misplaced time during my wayward youth.”
“Hard to believe you were ever young.” A finger stroked along the base of his neck. “Or wayward.”
“Contrary to popular belief I did not spring fully formed into existence.”
Billy reached and touched Casey’s face. “What kind of scrapes did you get into?’
His finger was sucked into Casey’s mouth. He nipped and rolled Billy’s finger with his tongue. “Later. The one on your shoulder is from Yugoslavia?”
Billy nodded and sat up, let Casey lick and drag along the tight line. “Mmm. And that one on my back is from Portugal. Fun times.”
“Lay down.”
Casey licked the smooth stretch of skin above his hip. Billy pressed his heels into the mattress as Casey puffed warm breath against his cock.
They were perfection, scars and all.
***
“How long has he been fucking you?”
Linda, darling Linda cornered him in the elevator.
“Since the day we've met, love.”
He willed the light sarcastic quip to work, but Linda tilted her head and laughed.
“He break out the massage oil yet?”
Yes. The warm olive oil massage curled his toes as he fucked Casey's slick hand.
He didn't answer.
“I could tell,” she clasped his arm. “You looked at him like I used to.”
“Was it that obvious?” Billy's stomach lurched until she shook her head.
“To anyone but me? No.”
“How bad did it end?” The words flew out in a rush, barely formed. He felt like clasping his hands over his ears as she opened her mouth.
“We were together everyday for two years and then we weren’t.” She focused on the floor and shook her head. “It hurt. Good luck, Mr. Collins.”
They reached her floor and he was left in silence.
***
Casey pushed all the right buttons.
Never question his competency or integrity.
He smoked the rest of his teammates in the parking lot, peeled into traffic to a chorus of honking horns.
Billy ignored the voicemails, but the neighbors would bitch about the incessant knocking.
“I’m sorry. I forgot that what I say can hurt people.” Casey stood with his hands in his pockets. He looked perturbed; Billy surmised he stepped in dog shit on the way up.
He cut the urge to sucker punch him in the kidney and leave him outside. “You’re a bastard.”
“I am.”
Silence. When Casey turned to leave Billy grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside.
They needed to learn.
***
Casey sang in the shower.
Loud warbles that made Billy’s stomach flutter.
“You never sing to me.”
“I never sing to anyone.” A pause. “And you’ve never asked.”
Billy scrolled through Casey’s most played list and hit play.
Singing to and singing along with were entirely different things.
Thank God for that.
***
The words hang, unspoken.
How is this going to end?
Neither answer.
***
“So.”
He sat on the floor, head resting against the couch cushion.
“What?”
Billy craned his neck up and reached to pull down Casey’s newspaper. “What is this?”
Casey drew his brows together. “After everything, do you believe we need to qualify our relationship?”
“Sometimes.”
“We are two men with far too much in common. We were never going to be just friends or just co-workers. I am comfortable with where we are and wish you felt the same.”
Billy felt a flush spread along his cheeks. “I am. You speak wise words at times, my friend.”
“Your sentimentality and flattery concern me,” Casey said thickly. He brought a hand to Billy’s head and stroked his hair.
That was all he needed.
Author asemic
Pairing: Billy/Casey
Summary: Billy tries to figure everything out.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
A/N: I can only write relationship origin stories. Nothing wrong with that, IMO.
“This doesn’t change anything.”
Casey dried his hands on a towel and slipped out the front door.
Billy kicked off his jeans and tossed his t-shirt to the floor. A semen stain splotched across the grey fabric.
“The fuck it doesn’t.”
***
They fucked on a Wednesday.
Did it matter why?
No.
Billy could replay the events of the entire day, the entire week leading up to the moment where they stumbled to Casey’s bed.
He won’t. There was no point. All roads led to the same outcome.
They fucked on a Wednesday.
***
Casey’s weak spot was behind his right knee.
When Billy licked it Casey pulled at the sheets. He slid a finger up along his calf to that spot and over his kneecap. Watched him melt.
Casey promised he’d do anything say anything from that point on. He needed Billy to hurry the hell up. But Billy took his time. He wanted him to suffer and take in all those little words.
He intended his promises to be kept.
***
“What is this?”
Casey didn’t bother responding as he shoved Billy on the bed.
“Stop. Answer me.”
Casey blinked because everything was self-evident. “Sex. Do you want to do this or not?”
Billy grabbed Casey by his belt and yanked him closer. He bit him on the forearm.
“Don’t hold back.”
He left red marks all over Casey, some daring enough to peek from his sleeves.
Goodness, what would the others think?
***
The space beside him was warm.
Light cracked through the blinds welcoming him to another delightful morning. Bravo. He should move: carpe diem, the world was his oyster.
Yeah.
Instead he curled closer to the edge of the bed and shut his eyes.
At least have the dignity to say goodbye.
***
Work stayed the same.
But.
Sometimes he stepped outside himself and threw Casey on the desk and blew him. Thick licks with the flat of his tongue while their fearless leader and Rick watched with gaped mouths.
And then Martinez would call his name one more time and he’d snap out of his thoughts and focus on the task at hand.
Because things don’t change at work.
Nothing can ever happen.
***
The box of condoms stashed in Casey’s end table drop a few between visits.
Blonde. Brunette. Blond. Brunet.
The occasional redhead.
Casey had them all.
Billy wasn’t jealous. Bleed with a man, stand by his side as you throw a punch and take a few more and you’ve got something deeper than simple penetration.
You’ve got history.
Try tossing that in the trash.
***
He usually hated Mondays.
Billy stared at the clock as the numbers flicked closer to releasing that dreadful blaring noise. Every action from the shower to the elevator ride up was one march fueled by caffeine and a lack of intelligent thought.
But today wasn’t that kind of Monday.
Billy was still damp from the shower and flat on his back. He had a mouth around his cock and two fingers up his ass.
Not a bad way to start the week.
***
He fucked only a handful of co-workers when they were separated by offices and floors.
This was different. Casey was different. Of course he was. Everything about Casey was what he shouldn’t want.
They slept together enough for it to be something, worked together longer so it had meaning.
The entire situation made him laugh. And Christ, did he laugh. Michael asked what was so hysterical, but Billy couldn’t answer.
He was doubled over his paperwork choking to death.
***
For some reason he cared, cared deeply.
Shit, he knew the reason. Sentimentality and that pesky thing called emotional attachment were his weaknesses.
What could he say? He’s an admitted flowers and chocolate man.
Casey knew. Of course he did. The man was a bloodhound for such things. Best to weed the chaff from the grain and keep the dreaded r word at bay.
But he stepped in with Billy. That had to mean something. The man had a heart; shit, Billy got his pulse racing. Who knew why? In the end he didn’t need a reason.
Casey came back.
***
To reiterate, nothing changed at work.
Casey’s reaction to Billy getting the shit beat out of his was normal. He’d smash someone’s face into a concrete wall for any one of them. Michael would have to tear him off the goon if Rick got smacked around.
His eyes were dead and cold when he broke the man’s jaw.
They were focused on Billy.
Billy stumbled for a few steps, blew blood from his nostrils, and tried to find his footing. Casey swept an arm around his waist to support him. He held him close and didn’t let go until they reached the plane.
Nothing was different. Everything was the same.
***
It happened at once.
The knock on his door led to a soft shuffle of clothing and the hard press of their mouths. Hands moved along skin and teeth and tongues followed.
They made it as far as the sofa.
Casey didn’t leave.
***
They trained together in a private gym, Billy dodging and weaving around Casey.
“Don’t go easy on me, old man.” Billy nailed Casey in the side. He laughed until everything tipped over and his spine slammed into the mat.
“You leave yourself open every time.” Casey’s smirk pissed him off. The knee in his chest and the hands pressed into his shoulders add to his irritation.
Still.
Billy reached out and cupped Casey’s groin. “Not the only one.”
This was a match they both could win.
***
“This one?”
“Morocco. I was fast, but the bullet was faster.”
Billy mouthed below Casey’s ribs, tongued a line a scar tissue.
“Shanghai. He ruined a perfectly good shirt.”
“Heaven forbid.” Billy worked his way to a small indent in Casey’s side.
Casey chuckled as Billy sucked lightly. “A moment of misplaced time during my wayward youth.”
“Hard to believe you were ever young.” A finger stroked along the base of his neck. “Or wayward.”
“Contrary to popular belief I did not spring fully formed into existence.”
Billy reached and touched Casey’s face. “What kind of scrapes did you get into?’
His finger was sucked into Casey’s mouth. He nipped and rolled Billy’s finger with his tongue. “Later. The one on your shoulder is from Yugoslavia?”
Billy nodded and sat up, let Casey lick and drag along the tight line. “Mmm. And that one on my back is from Portugal. Fun times.”
“Lay down.”
Casey licked the smooth stretch of skin above his hip. Billy pressed his heels into the mattress as Casey puffed warm breath against his cock.
They were perfection, scars and all.
***
“How long has he been fucking you?”
Linda, darling Linda cornered him in the elevator.
“Since the day we've met, love.”
He willed the light sarcastic quip to work, but Linda tilted her head and laughed.
“He break out the massage oil yet?”
Yes. The warm olive oil massage curled his toes as he fucked Casey's slick hand.
He didn't answer.
“I could tell,” she clasped his arm. “You looked at him like I used to.”
“Was it that obvious?” Billy's stomach lurched until she shook her head.
“To anyone but me? No.”
“How bad did it end?” The words flew out in a rush, barely formed. He felt like clasping his hands over his ears as she opened her mouth.
“We were together everyday for two years and then we weren’t.” She focused on the floor and shook her head. “It hurt. Good luck, Mr. Collins.”
They reached her floor and he was left in silence.
***
Casey pushed all the right buttons.
Never question his competency or integrity.
He smoked the rest of his teammates in the parking lot, peeled into traffic to a chorus of honking horns.
Billy ignored the voicemails, but the neighbors would bitch about the incessant knocking.
“I’m sorry. I forgot that what I say can hurt people.” Casey stood with his hands in his pockets. He looked perturbed; Billy surmised he stepped in dog shit on the way up.
He cut the urge to sucker punch him in the kidney and leave him outside. “You’re a bastard.”
“I am.”
Silence. When Casey turned to leave Billy grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside.
They needed to learn.
***
Casey sang in the shower.
Loud warbles that made Billy’s stomach flutter.
“You never sing to me.”
“I never sing to anyone.” A pause. “And you’ve never asked.”
Billy scrolled through Casey’s most played list and hit play.
Singing to and singing along with were entirely different things.
Thank God for that.
***
The words hang, unspoken.
How is this going to end?
Neither answer.
***
“So.”
He sat on the floor, head resting against the couch cushion.
“What?”
Billy craned his neck up and reached to pull down Casey’s newspaper. “What is this?”
Casey drew his brows together. “After everything, do you believe we need to qualify our relationship?”
“Sometimes.”
“We are two men with far too much in common. We were never going to be just friends or just co-workers. I am comfortable with where we are and wish you felt the same.”
Billy felt a flush spread along his cheeks. “I am. You speak wise words at times, my friend.”
“Your sentimentality and flattery concern me,” Casey said thickly. He brought a hand to Billy’s head and stroked his hair.
That was all he needed.