DS9 Fic, I Have Touched the Heavens and am Cold Without Their Embrace
The war was over.
The war was over, Sisko was with the Prohets, Kai Winn was dead, Jadzia was dead, Ezri and Bashir had joined quarters, Worf was the Federation Ambassador for the Klingons, Garak was on Cardassia Prime, and O’Brien was on Earth. And Odo was still gone.
After the war no one was quite sure what to do. The fighting had encompassed so much of their lives for the past several years and now that peace was settling in, for what everyone hoped was a good long while, pieces needed to be picked up.
Kira was to fill in temporarily as Deep Space Nine’s commander. Then Bajor finally joined the Federation a year later and Kira kept the position and gained the rank of captain.
She still heard from Miles and Keiko frequently, talked to Molly and the baby boy she had carried for five months. They were both healthy and happy. Miles enjoyed teaching, but he couldn’t help but ask how the station was doing without him. Admittedly it had been difficult at first for anyone else to make sense of the combined Cardassian/Federation technology, but they had managed. Somewhat.
Kira always made promises to visit them on Earth with Julian, but she rarely did. It was tough work keeping DS9 running. At least, that’s what she told herself.
Thanks to Worf and Martok the Klingon Empire was striving, growing, changing. Ezri made sure that Worf didn’t lose contact with them. On a conscious or subconscious level, Kira couldn’t be sure, she only had to pout in a way that was reminisce of Jadzia and Worf gave in.
She sort of kept in touch with Garak, too. It surprised her, and probably wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Julian. The doctor and she had become close after the war and he had made sure to keep tabs on his favorite Cardassian.
Kira loved listening to Julian go on about how Garak was resurrecting his home world, building from the ashes and sacrifices of his people. She never thought she’d live to see the day where she was rooting for Cardassia, but life always managed new surprises.
Kira spent her days commanding the station, making sure things ran smoothly, keeping tabs on the going-ons on Bajor. It was hectic on the best of days, though nothing like before.
Her nights, however, were quiet. Too quiet, not quiet enough, Kira couldn’t be sure. Sometimes serenity would wash over her as she prayed, and she knew the Prophets were there watching out for the survivors of tragedy. Other times the silence would engulf her, drown her in the nothingness. A cold shiver would run down her spine and she would feel abandoned.
She wondered how time passed for Odo in the link.
After a year Julian and Ezri ended their relationship. They managed to stay friends, and for that Kira was thankful. If things had ended badly between them she wouldn’t have been able to choose a side.
She asked why they separated and all she got in return was the pair turning to each other and laughing at some private joke. Kira remained clueless, but she didn’t really mind. It was just nice to see her friends’ smiles.
Later, when it was just Kira and Ezri or Kira and Julian having raktajinos she would ask again and get answers that didn’t answer anything at all. Julian said it was because there wasn’t a fiery passion between them, a far away wistful glint in his eyes. Ezri smiled knowingly and simply said that they just couldn’t give each other what they wanted.
Quark made a bolder than usual pass at Ezri once he learned of the break up. Kira threatened to break every one of his bones if he tried to break her heart. Quark being Quark just smiled and said she seemed jealous.
Sometimes when Kira would pass the security office for a brief moment she’d look over and expect to see Odo at his desk going over reports or reading one of those old Earth detective novels. When that happened she would throw herself into her work and ignore the ache in her chest.
Three years after the war had ended Kira sat at her desk that had once belonged to Benjamin Sisko, the Emissary, her captain, her friend. Julian was on the other side, his request for three months leave in her hands.
She at first assumed he was going to visit Miles on Earth until he shook his head and whispered one word: Cardassia.
Kira was shocked. Then, as he began to explain that he just wanted to check up on Garak, see how the planet was doing for itself, a grin broke out across her face and she laughed like she hadn’t laughed in years.
Julian stared at her quizzically, a pout on his face that he’d never acknowledge. Kira laughed and laughed until her lungs almost burst at the pressure they were under. She was able to calm down only after several minutes and told Julian that years ago Jadzia had been betting on how long before Julian and Garak finally got together. She was rewarded with a deep blush on the doctor’s cheeks.
(Kira refrained from telling the man of Jadzia’s plans to get them together that she had divulged to Kira just the day before Dukat shot her in the temple.)
She approved the request and wished Julian luck. When he was out of her office she briefly entertained the notion of following suit, grabbing a shuttle and visiting the Great Link. She dismissed the idea when Nog came in with the report she needed for a later call with Starfleet.
So for three months Kira waited with Ezri and even the curious Quark for news from Julian. In that time Kira turned a blind eye as her friends held a small bet on how long before a Cardassian/Human marriage was planned-even Miles, when he found out, made a wager-and Jake Sisko published a book.
Everyone received a copy, including Morn. It was engaging, heroic, touching, but what really got Kira was the dedication in the beginning:
To my father, Benjamin Sisko
and all the people of DS9,
living and dead.
You have the biggest hearts
of anyone I’ve ever met,
and souls that won’t give up.
A few days before Julian’s leave ended Kira got a transmission from Cardassia. It was both Julian and Garak, and they seemed to be radiating happiness. The former informed her that he was resigning from Starfleet to live on Cardassia; they needed good doctors, after all.
Kira smiled, nodded, and told them with faux threat in her voice that they had better invite her to the wedding. The blush she got from Julian this time was even better than she could have hoped for.
The war had been over for a little over four years when Kira really was invited to a Cardassian/Human marriage. Morn won the bet.
Kira attended, of course, happy for her friends. Ezri was there along with Worf, Jake and Nog, Miles and Keiko, Julian’s tentative looking parents, and even Quark was there as caterer. She knew that had to have been Julian’s idea.
It was a beautiful ceremony, and when the couple leaned in to kiss she nearly cried. There was a familiar tug at her heart and for once she didn’t feel the need to banish it.
A week after the wedding Kira stood on the second floor of the Promenade, staring out as the wormhole opened. It seemed so inviting and she again found herself considering chasing after Odo, waiting on that strip of land as he swam in the Great Link. Better than waiting here, at least.
Kira was called to Ops and she went, pushing her self-indulgence to the back of her mind. For now.