You'll find reading through the forums there that there are plenty of asexuals who do have sex with their partners for the sake of their relationships. It doesn't make them any less asexual. Think of it this way, your sexuality is defined by how you feel inside, not by your actions. I.e. you can still be a gay man even if you are married to a woman and refrain from sex with men and you can still be a heterosexual woman if you become a nun and don't engage in sex with anyone.
Yes thanks for that. That page has been like a bible for me. It's mostly other pages that do the whole "Ipso facto, they don't have sex". I have a friend who is lesbian and is married to another woman yet works as a heterosexual prostitute so I never understood the whole "You can't have sex with them if you aren't attracted to them" argument.
Same with sexual arousal. I remember a case several years back where the defence argues that it couldn't have been rape because the woman had an orgasm. For me that is an involuntary reflex but I would still like clarity on the links between arousal and attraction.
Arousal is a physical response, attraction is an emotional one. Hence why many asexuals masturbate. They are perfectly able to get aroused but don't have an emotional attraction that makes them desire to share their arousal with others.
There is a huge difference between "I want an orgasm" and "I want an orgasm with (insert name of person.)"
I'm from australia, sa. I'm an aromantic asexual who likes sex but doesn't like other people sexually, so you really don't want to hear about my dating adventures... or misadventures, I should say. The arousal vs. attraction debate is an ongoing one but having sex with your partner does not make you 'not asexual'. I find the more the debate between romantic asexuals, demisexuals and aromantic asexuals rages on, the more I'm disinclined to care what other people think asexuality is :) Where r u from?
Hi, I know others have already answered your post but I thought this article might be of some help or interest to you. It was linked on here awhile back and has a section where the author talks about sexual arousal, attraction and drive. It is a good read.
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http://www.asexuality.org/home/
You'll find reading through the forums there that there are plenty of asexuals who do have sex with their partners for the sake of their relationships. It doesn't make them any less asexual. Think of it this way, your sexuality is defined by how you feel inside, not by your actions. I.e. you can still be a gay man even if you are married to a woman and refrain from sex with men and you can still be a heterosexual woman if you become a nun and don't engage in sex with anyone.
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Same with sexual arousal. I remember a case several years back where the defence argues that it couldn't have been rape because the woman had an orgasm. For me that is an involuntary reflex but I would still like clarity on the links between arousal and attraction.
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There is a huge difference between "I want an orgasm" and "I want an orgasm with (insert name of person.)"
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http://grasexuality.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/how-to-have-sex-with-an-asexual-person/
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You can also read the book Understanding Asexuality. I've been reading it and it provides a nice explanation about arousal vs attraction and all those other tricky to answer questions.
http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Asexuality-Anthony-F-Bogaert/dp/1442200995/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366859480&sr=8-1&keywords=understanding+asexuality
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The Aven Wiki might be help.
www. asexuality. org/wiki/index. php?title=Main_Page
Hope this is useful.
Unfortunately you'll have to remove the spaces from the URL, I keep getting marked as spam.
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