Having kids...or wanting them...

[linwenolatari]

Comments

[slashlover]

I'm single and resolutely childfree. So far I've heard that I'm too young to decide (although, nearly 35), that's it's different when it's your own, that I'm selfish (WTF?), about a few people who didn't want kids then had them and it was OMG!BRILLIANT

[chanel_5]

It's all peer pressure. I know a few people that didn't want kids but had them anyway, for whatever reasons. All of them say they wouldn't give up their kids for anything, but 2 of them said that if they could go back in time, they'd have made sure they had a condom. My own sister wishes she'd stopped at one. Biology tells them that their kid is the most awesome thing that ever happened to them, but I reckon that 90% of kids are here due to peer pressure and social expectations.

[semisweetsoul]

90% of kids are here due to peer pressure and social expectations.

Really? That explains a lot of things. There's such a stigma on women who don't want children. There's also one on women who don't want more than one. Women have it hard whatever their choices. :(

[meridian_rose]

I identify strongly with this. I've been childfree since about age eleven, long before the realisation I'm on the asexual spectrum. I'm now in my thirties and still resolutely childfree. I find the idea of being pregnant utterly repellent. That wouldn't change if I were in a relationship.
I'm not really interested in a relationship and one of the things that bothers me about relationships is that they're so often based around sex and marriage and babies, all things I Do Not Want.
Anyone I'd form an emotional attachment to would have to understand that and not pressure me into any of those things. Children in particular are a deal breaker, - and so would things like him not wanting pets since I love animals! I think people need to be upfront about their likes/dislikes and what they want from a relationship, and not assume the other person will change their mind and magically want babies/stop wanting them. Decide what your personal dealbreakers are and if someone doesn't share them, don't bother going any further, because it will

[goddessofchaos]

I definitely don't want children and I've always known that. I don't like being around children, I hate the idea of being pregnant, I can't stand the idea of a baby being dependent on me and not having loads of time to myself as I do now. I just have no interest in or desire for children whatsover. It's probably unlikely I would ever have a relationship, but if I did, children would be a deal-breaker. I don't want them and won't have them (not to mention that I'm not prepared to have sex or have any kind of procedure that involves things being stuck in me, so it would be impossible for me to conceive anyway!)

[bart_calendar]

You should join the CF_Hardcore LJ community. It is full of people who feel exactly like you do and has lots of information for dealing with these kinds of situations.

[bart_calendar]

http://cf-hardcore.livejournal.com/profile

[ellonwye]

Cf_hardcore is awful and i don't recommend anybody goes there unless they're okay with constant disgusting sexism and outright hatred towards children

[slashlover]

I used to be a member and left the comm because it was just constant. I don't want kids and there are some who annoy the crap out of me but there seemed to be some there who actively looked to be insulted/offended by the very presence or even mention of children.