De-lurk

[calistakitty]

Thought I'd de-lurk myself. I have only recently figured out that I'm Asexual, but I have tried in the past I dated one guy in highschool, he dumped me because I wouldn't put out and didn't act like I was dating him, it took years for me to figure out that I just really can't have romantic feelings for people, much less sexual desires. Thankfully I

Comments

[singinglupines]

Re: adopting children. I pretty much plan to be a single mom too unless I can find someone to be in a platonic relationship who would want to co-raise! I'm holding out for that!

Good luck with telling your mom :)

[calistakitty]

Finding one of those is hard, I always said I'd marry my gay friend then we could adopt children. He'd of course still get to be with his boyfriend but we'd co raise the child(ren)

I'll try dropping hints here and there about Asexuals and see what her reactions are to them. She acts like she's okay with Gay people, so long as it isn't one of her children. My healths been real bad as of late so I think she wants me to get a boyfriend so I'll have someone to take care of me =/ Which I don't really need...

[singinglupines]

I've been hearing this common thread among asexuals though, so maybe higher among us :)

That's a good start. I want to get my mom Julie Sondra Decker's Intro to Asexuality book so that she can understand it more.

Yeah...that's always on of the worst reasons of why to find someone >.

[calistakitty]

I agree, 'hey other person will you date me so you can help me through my medical problems and listen to me whine day in day out. Oh and by the way you're going to need to take care of me 24/7

[laina_inverse]

I say get as much information about asexuality as you can to help her understand that this is natural (as is being bi. I'm sorry she reacted that way, damn. >.<), and then be firm.

Or just tell her you're not interested in her trying to be matchmaker, and to back off.

Sadly, I don't have a coming out story for inspiration, but I hope this helps anyways? (My mother just kind of blinked when I mentioned my own vaguely biromantic asexualness. Then shrugged and conversation moved on. I'm lucky.)

[calistakitty]

I'll tell ehr how I feel about her matchmaker comments, I have a good guy friend that is very understanding of my asexuality, and has been helping me out sicne I've been really sick lately, she seemed to eb holding out for the two of us getting together but he and I both know that isn't gonna happen. We met when eh hit on me at a bar but I've told him about all my asexual-ness and unromantic-ness so he knows nothings ever goign to happen.

[jenblue]

My maternal line is very female-heavy, and some noise was made when I was a kid about being the firstborn daughter of the firstborn daughter going back at least four generations. I'm also an only child (I have stepbrothers, but they're on the other side of the parental equation). My mother has always been looking forward to being a grandmother and been very vocal about this

[calistakitty]

Yeah but its not just cutsy matchmaking 'you should get a boyfriend' shes asked me why i wasnt normal. Im trying to be understanding since my brothers just got out of long tdrm relationships. I know shes counting on me for grand kids lol. Thanks for the advice ill try being forward andtell her to back off with the boy friend crap

[linwenolatari]

I think women face this problem more so than men, and I'm not talking about the having children part, because I haven't told my parents I'm asexual, but I have always been very vocal about my not wanting to have kids, so in that regards, there is very little discussion

[calistakitty]

thanks for the advice I'll try putting it out there, but maybe I'll wait till after Christmas since this will be the first one where my siblings and I won't be taking dates... well same old same old for me but it's been a while since both my brothers were single this time of year.