"Yours For Mine"
Before Ash’s revelation, Eiji had wondered idly about the fears that Ash, as a gang leader who frequently needed to be violent, harsh, and ruthless in order to keep his position, would have pushed to the back of his mind.
Cucurbitophobia: the fear of pumpkins. That hadn’t been on Eiji’s list and wouldn’t have been even if the list extended into the hundreds.
A small frown line had wrinkled Ash’s forehead as he recalled his traumatic experience: “I ran out of there SCREAMING. But the Jack-O’-Lantern on my head was real heavy, and I couldn’t run very fast.”
Eiji’s norimake and chopsticks had lain on the table where he had dropped them five minutes ago as he continued to gawk at Ash in disbelief.
Eiji had started blinking rapidly as he desperately tried to contain the impulse. He had pressed his lips together and clenched his teeth together, but his sides had continued shaking regardless.
Caught in the memory, Ash had continued obliviously, “But man, I’ve HATED pumpkins ever since. Just looking at a squash in the produce lane creeps me out.”
The disgruntled moue on Ash’s lips was almost the last straw for Eiji. But he contained himself valiantly.
Ash had then looked up from his suspicious scrutiny of the norimake he was holding in his chopsticks. He had frowned at the strained expression on Eiji’s face.
Wary, he had asked, “What? What’s so funny?” The total bewilderment in Ash’s tone broke Eiji’s back.
“Pffffffffft! Bwahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha!” Eiji had almost choked on his laughter, trying to stop. His arms had held his stomach as he gasped for breath again and again. Trying to stop his laughter only exacerbated it. Only his fear of hurting Ash’s feelings and making Ash wary of sharing personal experiences abruptly stopped Eiji’s laughter.
“Sorry, sorry.” Eiji waved a hand in a placating manner. “I just…well, it’s funny, but I also…”
Eiji trailed off with a thoughtful expression on his face. He smiled secretively and shrugged at Ash’s questioning look and said never mind.
I want to share something like that with you, Eiji thought. A memory for a memory. Yours for mine.
Ash is out again, meeting with his contacts, spying on Dino’s men, maybe shooting people. When they first moved into the apartment, Eiji used to wander around the rooms restlessly whenever Ash was out. However, by now, even though he’s not used to the violence and instability of Ash’s world, he accepts how things are.
It was almost eight o’clock. If his intuition had finally adjusted to Ash’s sense of meal times, then Ash should be home within half an hour.
Eiji turned on the radio and fiddled around with the dial until he found some upbeat music to accompany his dinner preparations.
“Zzz…zzz….zzzz…Ladies and Gentleman, let’s hear it for Robert Hazard’s hit song, Escalator of Life!”
They got my Mazda at the E-Z Park It
At the rock & roll supermarket
Muzak music make me feel so funny
I went and spent all my money
We're riding on the escalator of life
We're shopping in the human mall
We're dancing on the escalator of life
Won't be happy 'til we have it all
We want it all
Eiji bobbed his head along to the music as he cut the cucumbers into thin strips, shredded the fake crabmeat chunks, and tore the seaweed sheets into neat squares. He dumped the crabmeat into its own bowl and liberally added hot sauce to it, stirring the mixture all the while.
He opened the refrigerator and took out the little boxes of pickled pink ginger and green wasabi that he had picked up at the local supermarket. He tossed them lightly onto the dining table and turned back to his preparation.
He grabbed spoons, forks, and chopsticks, loaded himself down with the bowls of food, and danced his way to the table, narrowly missing a wet spot on the linoleum.
There's 111 choices
Don't listen to those little voices
I don't let the guilty feeling shake me
You can have your cake and eat it baby
We're riding on the escalator of life
We're shopping in the human mall
We're dancing on the escalator of life
Won't be happy 'til we have it all
He set everything down with a satisfied sigh before he realized that he’d heard the front door open.
With a flush on his face from embarrassment, Eiji swung around to face Ash, who looked back at him with an amused grin on his face.
“Ah, Ash, you’re back!” Eiji greeted him.
Eiji grabbed the radio and turned it off; the sudden silence from the rock music gave the apartment a peaceful ambience.
“You didn’t have to turn the radio off,” Ash said, shrugging off his jacket and draping it on the couch, “I don’t mind music when I’m eating.”
Eiji flapped a hand at him.
“No, actually, I thought it would be nice to have quiet dinner,” Eiji said, gesturing at the dining table.
Arching an eyebrow, Ash came closer to the table and eyed the food skeptically until he recognized what it was.
“Hey! You made California Rolls!” Ash grinned a bit in wonder.
“Yes,” Eiji said, pleased at Ash’s reaction. “I ask one neighbor how to get sushi ingredients, and she told me that California Rolls are very popular here.”
Ash nodded. “Yeah, California Rolls are everywhere. You can buy them in trashed up convenience stores in the worst parts of town.”
Ash smirked teasingly at Eiji. “They’re not authentic sushi though. You don’t mind going without the raw fish? The smell adds to the flavor, right?”
Eiji pretended to scowl at Ash for making fun of Japanese food again. Really, some people didn’t know how to appreciate natto.
Eiji raised an innocent eyebrow. “Oh, Ash, I did not know you want that. It is not too late. I go find some eel.”
Eiji and Ash stared at each other for a long moment, daring the other to break down first.
A muffled bang outside, not too far from their apartment complex, broke the stalemate as Ash jerked around to looked outside the window, and Eiji’s smile faded into a frown.
“Is something happening, Ash?” Eiji asked quietly, wondering if Ash would have to go out again. Ash didn’t always tell him everything about the plans against Dino. Eiji knew that Ash was trying to protect him, but he would have preferred to share the danger with Ash. Only his awareness that his presence would be an emotional strain for Ash kept him from pressing the issue.
Ash didn’t say anything. He craned his neck, trying to see out the window while holding himself in the shadow of the bookcase. Then he started cracking up.
“Ash?” Eiji felt relieved. So, nothing was wrong?
“Eiji, come over here,” Ash called him over to the window and stepped aside so that Eiji could look out the window too.
Moving closer to the window, Eiji could hear children laughing hysterically. He looked and saw some boys and girls standing in a circle. A small red and yellow box was passed from hand to hand until each kid had something, and then they all threw their pellets together into the middle of the circle, creating a quick series of small bangs and pops.
“Small firecrackers?” Eiji wondered, relieved at the innocent sight, and smiling at the fun the kids were having.
“It’s Pop-Pop,” Ash answered, “They’re like small explosive rocks. Shorter and I used to buy them in Chinatown and try to scare Nadia with them.”
They watched for a while until Ash’s stomach growled.
Ash looked embarrassed. “I guess we better eat.”
They ate quietly for a while, passing the bowls of rice and crabmeat, reaching over each other for the soy sauce, causally fighting over the wasabi.
Eiji said causally, “I don’t like tangerines.” He continued to fill his California roll, adding some more rice, tapping down the crabmeat, smearing a little wasabi onto the top.
Ash looked surprised at the comment from out of the blue. But he caught on quick, and the smile that he gave Eiji was warm.
“Why not?”
Eiji made a face. “Trauma memory.” He thought about all the things that Ash had went through and amended his statement.
“Well, not really trauma but not good memory. Some people I tell think it is funny.”
Now Ash definitely was interested. He twisted his seaweed and rice together into a roll, but his eyes stayed on Eiji.
“My parents both work very long hours. My mother at the hospital as nurse, and my father at business company as manager. When my sister and I were young, our grandmother babysit until our parents pick us up. One time my sister and I play with water balloons, and we made grandmother all wet before her afternoon nap. She scolded us and made us stay in the house for rest of day. It was very boring so when my sister dare me to climb out the bedroom window, I did not say no.” Eiji paused and drank some tea.
Ash tossed his roll into his mouth and, crunching, said, “So, you tried for a Great Escape.”
Eiji didn’t know the reference but he got the gist of it. “Yes, but it did not turn out well. I was young and short, and the window seemed so high, but I manage to open anyway. Then I get on dresser and I stand on windowsill. But grandma knock on the bedroom door so my sister scream to warn me, and I was so surprised I fall from the window.”
“But,” Eiji continued, “grandma had a tangerine tree growing right outside that window so I got hooked on it.”
Ash, thinking it was the end of the story, said, “So, everything turned out okay, right? Since you didn’t fall and break something.”
Eiji looked solemn. “Yes, but the branch hook only on my shorts, and I was too heavy so I start falling again after it yank away my pants! And my underwear!”
Ash started laughing.
“But that is not all. Grandma knocked on door because her friend came to visit. Very conservative lady-and I flash her.”
Utterly silent, Ash stared at Eiji and burst out laughing uncontrollably. Eiji started grinning himself. It was pretty funny in hindsight. Even if the spanking from his grandmother was one of the most painful things he could remember.
They continued to eat and occasionally share random stories from their childhood. It was a good night, a peaceful and light-hearted one. It was a night to share your embarrassing secrets and hope they didn’t get spread around later on.
Cucurbitophobia: the fear of pumpkins. That hadn’t been on Eiji’s list and wouldn’t have been even if the list extended into the hundreds.
A small frown line had wrinkled Ash’s forehead as he recalled his traumatic experience: “I ran out of there SCREAMING. But the Jack-O’-Lantern on my head was real heavy, and I couldn’t run very fast.”
Eiji’s norimake and chopsticks had lain on the table where he had dropped them five minutes ago as he continued to gawk at Ash in disbelief.
Eiji had started blinking rapidly as he desperately tried to contain the impulse. He had pressed his lips together and clenched his teeth together, but his sides had continued shaking regardless.
Caught in the memory, Ash had continued obliviously, “But man, I’ve HATED pumpkins ever since. Just looking at a squash in the produce lane creeps me out.”
The disgruntled moue on Ash’s lips was almost the last straw for Eiji. But he contained himself valiantly.
Ash had then looked up from his suspicious scrutiny of the norimake he was holding in his chopsticks. He had frowned at the strained expression on Eiji’s face.
Wary, he had asked, “What? What’s so funny?” The total bewilderment in Ash’s tone broke Eiji’s back.
“Pffffffffft! Bwahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha!” Eiji had almost choked on his laughter, trying to stop. His arms had held his stomach as he gasped for breath again and again. Trying to stop his laughter only exacerbated it. Only his fear of hurting Ash’s feelings and making Ash wary of sharing personal experiences abruptly stopped Eiji’s laughter.
“Sorry, sorry.” Eiji waved a hand in a placating manner. “I just…well, it’s funny, but I also…”
Eiji trailed off with a thoughtful expression on his face. He smiled secretively and shrugged at Ash’s questioning look and said never mind.
I want to share something like that with you, Eiji thought. A memory for a memory. Yours for mine.
Ash is out again, meeting with his contacts, spying on Dino’s men, maybe shooting people. When they first moved into the apartment, Eiji used to wander around the rooms restlessly whenever Ash was out. However, by now, even though he’s not used to the violence and instability of Ash’s world, he accepts how things are.
It was almost eight o’clock. If his intuition had finally adjusted to Ash’s sense of meal times, then Ash should be home within half an hour.
Eiji turned on the radio and fiddled around with the dial until he found some upbeat music to accompany his dinner preparations.
“Zzz…zzz….zzzz…Ladies and Gentleman, let’s hear it for Robert Hazard’s hit song, Escalator of Life!”
They got my Mazda at the E-Z Park It
At the rock & roll supermarket
Muzak music make me feel so funny
I went and spent all my money
We're riding on the escalator of life
We're shopping in the human mall
We're dancing on the escalator of life
Won't be happy 'til we have it all
We want it all
Eiji bobbed his head along to the music as he cut the cucumbers into thin strips, shredded the fake crabmeat chunks, and tore the seaweed sheets into neat squares. He dumped the crabmeat into its own bowl and liberally added hot sauce to it, stirring the mixture all the while.
He opened the refrigerator and took out the little boxes of pickled pink ginger and green wasabi that he had picked up at the local supermarket. He tossed them lightly onto the dining table and turned back to his preparation.
He grabbed spoons, forks, and chopsticks, loaded himself down with the bowls of food, and danced his way to the table, narrowly missing a wet spot on the linoleum.
There's 111 choices
Don't listen to those little voices
I don't let the guilty feeling shake me
You can have your cake and eat it baby
We're riding on the escalator of life
We're shopping in the human mall
We're dancing on the escalator of life
Won't be happy 'til we have it all
He set everything down with a satisfied sigh before he realized that he’d heard the front door open.
With a flush on his face from embarrassment, Eiji swung around to face Ash, who looked back at him with an amused grin on his face.
“Ah, Ash, you’re back!” Eiji greeted him.
Eiji grabbed the radio and turned it off; the sudden silence from the rock music gave the apartment a peaceful ambience.
“You didn’t have to turn the radio off,” Ash said, shrugging off his jacket and draping it on the couch, “I don’t mind music when I’m eating.”
Eiji flapped a hand at him.
“No, actually, I thought it would be nice to have quiet dinner,” Eiji said, gesturing at the dining table.
Arching an eyebrow, Ash came closer to the table and eyed the food skeptically until he recognized what it was.
“Hey! You made California Rolls!” Ash grinned a bit in wonder.
“Yes,” Eiji said, pleased at Ash’s reaction. “I ask one neighbor how to get sushi ingredients, and she told me that California Rolls are very popular here.”
Ash nodded. “Yeah, California Rolls are everywhere. You can buy them in trashed up convenience stores in the worst parts of town.”
Ash smirked teasingly at Eiji. “They’re not authentic sushi though. You don’t mind going without the raw fish? The smell adds to the flavor, right?”
Eiji pretended to scowl at Ash for making fun of Japanese food again. Really, some people didn’t know how to appreciate natto.
Eiji raised an innocent eyebrow. “Oh, Ash, I did not know you want that. It is not too late. I go find some eel.”
Eiji and Ash stared at each other for a long moment, daring the other to break down first.
A muffled bang outside, not too far from their apartment complex, broke the stalemate as Ash jerked around to looked outside the window, and Eiji’s smile faded into a frown.
“Is something happening, Ash?” Eiji asked quietly, wondering if Ash would have to go out again. Ash didn’t always tell him everything about the plans against Dino. Eiji knew that Ash was trying to protect him, but he would have preferred to share the danger with Ash. Only his awareness that his presence would be an emotional strain for Ash kept him from pressing the issue.
Ash didn’t say anything. He craned his neck, trying to see out the window while holding himself in the shadow of the bookcase. Then he started cracking up.
“Ash?” Eiji felt relieved. So, nothing was wrong?
“Eiji, come over here,” Ash called him over to the window and stepped aside so that Eiji could look out the window too.
Moving closer to the window, Eiji could hear children laughing hysterically. He looked and saw some boys and girls standing in a circle. A small red and yellow box was passed from hand to hand until each kid had something, and then they all threw their pellets together into the middle of the circle, creating a quick series of small bangs and pops.
“Small firecrackers?” Eiji wondered, relieved at the innocent sight, and smiling at the fun the kids were having.
“It’s Pop-Pop,” Ash answered, “They’re like small explosive rocks. Shorter and I used to buy them in Chinatown and try to scare Nadia with them.”
They watched for a while until Ash’s stomach growled.
Ash looked embarrassed. “I guess we better eat.”
They ate quietly for a while, passing the bowls of rice and crabmeat, reaching over each other for the soy sauce, causally fighting over the wasabi.
Eiji said causally, “I don’t like tangerines.” He continued to fill his California roll, adding some more rice, tapping down the crabmeat, smearing a little wasabi onto the top.
Ash looked surprised at the comment from out of the blue. But he caught on quick, and the smile that he gave Eiji was warm.
“Why not?”
Eiji made a face. “Trauma memory.” He thought about all the things that Ash had went through and amended his statement.
“Well, not really trauma but not good memory. Some people I tell think it is funny.”
Now Ash definitely was interested. He twisted his seaweed and rice together into a roll, but his eyes stayed on Eiji.
“My parents both work very long hours. My mother at the hospital as nurse, and my father at business company as manager. When my sister and I were young, our grandmother babysit until our parents pick us up. One time my sister and I play with water balloons, and we made grandmother all wet before her afternoon nap. She scolded us and made us stay in the house for rest of day. It was very boring so when my sister dare me to climb out the bedroom window, I did not say no.” Eiji paused and drank some tea.
Ash tossed his roll into his mouth and, crunching, said, “So, you tried for a Great Escape.”
Eiji didn’t know the reference but he got the gist of it. “Yes, but it did not turn out well. I was young and short, and the window seemed so high, but I manage to open anyway. Then I get on dresser and I stand on windowsill. But grandma knock on the bedroom door so my sister scream to warn me, and I was so surprised I fall from the window.”
“But,” Eiji continued, “grandma had a tangerine tree growing right outside that window so I got hooked on it.”
Ash, thinking it was the end of the story, said, “So, everything turned out okay, right? Since you didn’t fall and break something.”
Eiji looked solemn. “Yes, but the branch hook only on my shorts, and I was too heavy so I start falling again after it yank away my pants! And my underwear!”
Ash started laughing.
“But that is not all. Grandma knocked on door because her friend came to visit. Very conservative lady-and I flash her.”
Utterly silent, Ash stared at Eiji and burst out laughing uncontrollably. Eiji started grinning himself. It was pretty funny in hindsight. Even if the spanking from his grandmother was one of the most painful things he could remember.
They continued to eat and occasionally share random stories from their childhood. It was a good night, a peaceful and light-hearted one. It was a night to share your embarrassing secrets and hope they didn’t get spread around later on.