"In a Lifetime"
When Eiji was sixteen, he liked a girl called Amiko, who was in his class. Amiko-chan was also a track-and-field athlete, but she specialized in the high jump.
During pole-vaulting practice, Eiji would often stop his exercises and watch Amiko-chan breathe deeply for a long time and then execute the most breath-taking high jump ever seen. In Eiji’s eyes, she basically flew smoothly into the air, her body curved gracefully, and then landed with a soft thump onto the mattress on the other side of the bar. She was mesmerizing when she got up and stretched her arms out above her head in satisfaction.
Eventually, Eiji and Amiko-chan started talking after they kept bumping into each other after school during track-and-field practice. They matched each other’s passion for their respective sports, and they often speculated how they would react once they made it to the Olympics. They often joked around, and their talks were filled with laughter and tears-but tears resulting from strained ribs hurting from too much laughter.
Eiji would often form a hand into the shape of a microphone and mock-interview Amiko-chan, who would give fairly serious answers until Eiji’s grave manner and earnest head nodding pushed her into hysterics. She would grab his microphone-hand and push it down, smacking him lightly on the shoulder when he resisted. They would eventually collapse together onto the ground, playfully pushing and shoving.
Amiko-chan began watching Eiji at his pole-vaulting practice, and one day a checkered sheet showed up in Eiji’s gym locker. There were various stickers in the little boxes, along with dates, and Eiji could pick out some gold stars, some full-teethed smiley faces, and some random animal stickers. After every practice, Eiji could count on seeing a new sticker on his sheet. Even if he had an off day, he knew he would see a cheerful “Do Your Best!” sticker.
Eiji was falling in love with Amiko-chan, and Amiko-chan was falling in love right back.
But that’s not the way the story ends.
Amiko-chan’s family wasn’t poor or rich. They were middle class. Or they were until her father died from an accident on the construction site. Then her mother got into an accident when she was rushing to the hospital to see her husband. Within a week, everything changed for Amiko-chan.
“My aunt is making me go to an Omiai.” Amiko-chan’s voice was quiet. She pulled off a wristband and stretched it out with her fingers. She abruptly looked up and met Eiji’s eyes. He didn’t know what to say.
Amiko-chan laughed briefly and bitterly. “My aunt is such a hypocrite. She promised my mother, her own sister, that she would take care of me. But now she says that she can’t support three children.”
Amiko-chan shrugged with a half-smile playing across her lips. “Well, what can I do? I’m a high-school student, and I won’t graduate for two more years. If my aunt kicks me out, I have nowhere to go, and I won’t be one of those girls you pity on the streets.”
Eiji wanted to reach out to her. He wanted to hold her tightly and shield them both from the harsh reality that they lived in. He wanted to ask Amiko-chan to leave with him and marry him and live together happily in Okinawa.
But Eiji wasn’t foolish.
Eiji’s middle school best friend was Kenji-kun. Kenji-kun was handsome, intelligent, and charming. All the boys in the class referred to him as a “ladies’ man.” However, Kenji-kun believed in true love, and he found it with a girl named Amaya. Kenji-kun and Amaya-chan were deeply in love, and their relationship was admired and marveled as perfect-until Amaya-chan became pregnant.
Suddenly shunned by everyone, Amaya-chan often skipped school and cried for long periods of time in her bedroom. Angry on Amaya-chan’s behalf, Kenji-kun withdrew all his bank money, uncovered some lost gift money from relatives, worked extra hours at his secret part-time job, and then ran away with Amaya-chan to Kyoto.
Eiji doesn’t remember how long Kenji-kun was gone, but it seemed like a long time. He missed his best friend, and he was tired of being questioned by Kenji-kun’s parents and his own about Kenji-kun’s whereabouts. However, eventually Kenji-kun and Amaya-chan came back, looking shame-faced.
Kenji-kun never told Eiji why things didn’t work out. Perhaps Kenji-kun never got over the guilt of being spared when Amaya-chan’s reputation was shredded. Perhaps Amaya-chan never got over her resentment towards him for suggesting that they continue without protection. Maybe they both realized how difficult it is to live on only 700 yen per week. Maybe their love started showing such ugly cracks and thin-haired breaks that they couldn’t stand living without the fairy tale anymore.
Kenji-kun moved to Kobe and finished middle school there. Amaya-chan moved to Itami and stayed with her grandmother until she married the widower who worked as the town vet.
“I’m so sorry,” Eiji said to Amiko. The wind was strong, and it almost blew his words away from him. He reached a hand towards her shoulder, and when she didn’t protest, he drew her carefully into a hug that turned desperate. Amiko tightened her grip on Eiji’s shoulder blades, and Eiji pressed his face against her hair, breathing in her shampoo and trying not to cry.
“I will always be here,” Eiji said suddenly, “I know that I can’t be by your side, but I’ll be here, and I will listen and do whatever I can.” The words tasted sour in his throat, and he wanted to vomit. He could feel something wet and hot on his shirt collar.
Amiko was quiet. Then she raised her head and stood back from Eiji, distancing herself but not rejecting him.
She breathed deeply and then she smiled at him. It was a beautiful courageous smile.
“I’ll be fine, Eiji. I’ll take care of myself so don’t worry about me. If the suitor isn’t a good man, then I just won’t marry him. I won’t settle cheaply.”
Eiji’s heart still hurt. He didn’t want to be protected.
He and Amiko looked at each other for a long time. The air between them was tense with the potential of a kiss. They kept looking at each other until finally they hugged once more and started walking in opposite directions.
When Eiji fell the wrong way and hurt himself, losing his scholarship in the space of a minute, his heart hurt more than anything else, and the feeling was too familiar.
“No girlfriend,” Eiji said. His relationship with Amiko had almost ended before it started, and they had refrained from the kiss that would have made everything hurt so much more.
Alex had come in much earlier, looking for a place to stash the gang’s new gun arsenal. Ash and Eiji had put the guns in a corner of the room and pushed their beds closer together to avoid any potential accidents.
With their beds barely a foot apart, Eiji could feel every breath that Ash took on his lips and on his cheeks. Ash closed his eyes, and he didn’t open them when he spoke again.
“Hey, Eiji,” Ash said, his tone thoughtful. “Did you ever love someone?”
Eiji knew what kind of love Ash meant. Eiji lay on his back, looking at the ceiling intently.
“Yes,” Eiji whispered, “But we could not be together.”
He was quiet for a while, and then he added, “I also love someone now.”
Ash opened his eyes, and they looked at each other. Ash smiled and held out his hand, and Eiji reached for it.
Three months after Eiji last saw Amiko, he received a plain white letter without a return address. In her distinctly spiky handwriting, Amiko had written: “Eiji, I’m fine now. You know me, I keep on going. I’m okay now, and I want you to be too. Remember to keep going, Eiji. Promise me.”
During pole-vaulting practice, Eiji would often stop his exercises and watch Amiko-chan breathe deeply for a long time and then execute the most breath-taking high jump ever seen. In Eiji’s eyes, she basically flew smoothly into the air, her body curved gracefully, and then landed with a soft thump onto the mattress on the other side of the bar. She was mesmerizing when she got up and stretched her arms out above her head in satisfaction.
Eventually, Eiji and Amiko-chan started talking after they kept bumping into each other after school during track-and-field practice. They matched each other’s passion for their respective sports, and they often speculated how they would react once they made it to the Olympics. They often joked around, and their talks were filled with laughter and tears-but tears resulting from strained ribs hurting from too much laughter.
Eiji would often form a hand into the shape of a microphone and mock-interview Amiko-chan, who would give fairly serious answers until Eiji’s grave manner and earnest head nodding pushed her into hysterics. She would grab his microphone-hand and push it down, smacking him lightly on the shoulder when he resisted. They would eventually collapse together onto the ground, playfully pushing and shoving.
Amiko-chan began watching Eiji at his pole-vaulting practice, and one day a checkered sheet showed up in Eiji’s gym locker. There were various stickers in the little boxes, along with dates, and Eiji could pick out some gold stars, some full-teethed smiley faces, and some random animal stickers. After every practice, Eiji could count on seeing a new sticker on his sheet. Even if he had an off day, he knew he would see a cheerful “Do Your Best!” sticker.
Eiji was falling in love with Amiko-chan, and Amiko-chan was falling in love right back.
But that’s not the way the story ends.
Amiko-chan’s family wasn’t poor or rich. They were middle class. Or they were until her father died from an accident on the construction site. Then her mother got into an accident when she was rushing to the hospital to see her husband. Within a week, everything changed for Amiko-chan.
“My aunt is making me go to an Omiai.” Amiko-chan’s voice was quiet. She pulled off a wristband and stretched it out with her fingers. She abruptly looked up and met Eiji’s eyes. He didn’t know what to say.
Amiko-chan laughed briefly and bitterly. “My aunt is such a hypocrite. She promised my mother, her own sister, that she would take care of me. But now she says that she can’t support three children.”
Amiko-chan shrugged with a half-smile playing across her lips. “Well, what can I do? I’m a high-school student, and I won’t graduate for two more years. If my aunt kicks me out, I have nowhere to go, and I won’t be one of those girls you pity on the streets.”
Eiji wanted to reach out to her. He wanted to hold her tightly and shield them both from the harsh reality that they lived in. He wanted to ask Amiko-chan to leave with him and marry him and live together happily in Okinawa.
But Eiji wasn’t foolish.
Eiji’s middle school best friend was Kenji-kun. Kenji-kun was handsome, intelligent, and charming. All the boys in the class referred to him as a “ladies’ man.” However, Kenji-kun believed in true love, and he found it with a girl named Amaya. Kenji-kun and Amaya-chan were deeply in love, and their relationship was admired and marveled as perfect-until Amaya-chan became pregnant.
Suddenly shunned by everyone, Amaya-chan often skipped school and cried for long periods of time in her bedroom. Angry on Amaya-chan’s behalf, Kenji-kun withdrew all his bank money, uncovered some lost gift money from relatives, worked extra hours at his secret part-time job, and then ran away with Amaya-chan to Kyoto.
Eiji doesn’t remember how long Kenji-kun was gone, but it seemed like a long time. He missed his best friend, and he was tired of being questioned by Kenji-kun’s parents and his own about Kenji-kun’s whereabouts. However, eventually Kenji-kun and Amaya-chan came back, looking shame-faced.
Kenji-kun never told Eiji why things didn’t work out. Perhaps Kenji-kun never got over the guilt of being spared when Amaya-chan’s reputation was shredded. Perhaps Amaya-chan never got over her resentment towards him for suggesting that they continue without protection. Maybe they both realized how difficult it is to live on only 700 yen per week. Maybe their love started showing such ugly cracks and thin-haired breaks that they couldn’t stand living without the fairy tale anymore.
Kenji-kun moved to Kobe and finished middle school there. Amaya-chan moved to Itami and stayed with her grandmother until she married the widower who worked as the town vet.
“I’m so sorry,” Eiji said to Amiko. The wind was strong, and it almost blew his words away from him. He reached a hand towards her shoulder, and when she didn’t protest, he drew her carefully into a hug that turned desperate. Amiko tightened her grip on Eiji’s shoulder blades, and Eiji pressed his face against her hair, breathing in her shampoo and trying not to cry.
“I will always be here,” Eiji said suddenly, “I know that I can’t be by your side, but I’ll be here, and I will listen and do whatever I can.” The words tasted sour in his throat, and he wanted to vomit. He could feel something wet and hot on his shirt collar.
Amiko was quiet. Then she raised her head and stood back from Eiji, distancing herself but not rejecting him.
She breathed deeply and then she smiled at him. It was a beautiful courageous smile.
“I’ll be fine, Eiji. I’ll take care of myself so don’t worry about me. If the suitor isn’t a good man, then I just won’t marry him. I won’t settle cheaply.”
Eiji’s heart still hurt. He didn’t want to be protected.
He and Amiko looked at each other for a long time. The air between them was tense with the potential of a kiss. They kept looking at each other until finally they hugged once more and started walking in opposite directions.
When Eiji fell the wrong way and hurt himself, losing his scholarship in the space of a minute, his heart hurt more than anything else, and the feeling was too familiar.
“No girlfriend,” Eiji said. His relationship with Amiko had almost ended before it started, and they had refrained from the kiss that would have made everything hurt so much more.
Alex had come in much earlier, looking for a place to stash the gang’s new gun arsenal. Ash and Eiji had put the guns in a corner of the room and pushed their beds closer together to avoid any potential accidents.
With their beds barely a foot apart, Eiji could feel every breath that Ash took on his lips and on his cheeks. Ash closed his eyes, and he didn’t open them when he spoke again.
“Hey, Eiji,” Ash said, his tone thoughtful. “Did you ever love someone?”
Eiji knew what kind of love Ash meant. Eiji lay on his back, looking at the ceiling intently.
“Yes,” Eiji whispered, “But we could not be together.”
He was quiet for a while, and then he added, “I also love someone now.”
Ash opened his eyes, and they looked at each other. Ash smiled and held out his hand, and Eiji reached for it.
Three months after Eiji last saw Amiko, he received a plain white letter without a return address. In her distinctly spiky handwriting, Amiko had written: “Eiji, I’m fine now. You know me, I keep on going. I’m okay now, and I want you to be too. Remember to keep going, Eiji. Promise me.”