Zombieland 1/?
Title: Zombieland
Rating: R
Pairing: Eventual J2
Summary: With the world overrun by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Jensen Ackles has lived by a set of successful rules from the moment his world was turned into something not so pretty. On the road, alone, Jensen soon comes across a few more survives. All having their own unique ways to survive the zombie hell around them. All of them believing that personal ties and connections can only make you weak and vulnerable, and as a result get you killed. But maybe now they all need to rely on each other to survive. And would it really be so crazy to have some romance sparking on the sidelines.
Author's notes: If you haven’t seen the film Zombieland...this contains most of the dialogue and situations from the film. Obviously I do not own the boys, or any other character in this fic...original or Zombieland based. This is all just for fun.
Welcome to Zombieland. Those few survivors probably wish this was still America, but you can’t really have a country without people. And there aren’t that many people here, not anymore. No, now the more logical and fitting title would be the United States of Zombieland.
It didn’t take long for things to turn from bad, to total shit-storm. The world destroyed in moments, few living people left. Cities, hell, whole states burned to the ground. Run by creatures that see just about anything with a heartbeat as their next meal ticket. But there are still those surviving, the numbers dwindling day by day. But there are still people out there, somewhere.
Meet Jensen Ackles. By looking at him you wouldn’t really think that out of the world of billions of people, that he would be one of the few non zombies left in the country. But Jensen has survived off a very specific set of rules. No rules, and he’d probably be like everything else, someone’s meat.
Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: CARDIO. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties. They just couldn’t outrun being someone’s dinner, no matter how much they tried. Poor fat bastards.
But as the infection spread and the chaos grew, it wasn’t enough to just be fast on your feet. You had to get a gun, and learn how to use it. Which leads us to Jensen’s second rule, THE DOUBLE TAP.
When cars were piling up, and people were running around crowded streets screaming and dying. Zombies having no problem finding food. Some people being meals when they didn’t have to be. Having never needed a reason to shot what looks like a person before, some people got confused and well...scared. Shooting once, and watching the zombie fall. But then what? Well, in those moments when you’re not sure if the undead are really dead dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets. Don’t try and tap that prone looking body with you’re foot. One more clean shot to the head, and you can avoid being a human happy meal.
It then wasn’t long before the zombies started to get clever. When you were at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it. You may think you’re alone, in that private moment of using the restroom...but nothing is private or safe anymore. So don’t let them catch you with your pants down, literally. Rule number three: BEWARE OF BATHROOMS.
As Zombies began to outnumber humans, that’s when you had to cut all emotional ties. Take this one woman for example, surrounded by a hand full of psychotic children, who just a couple hours ago were all just dressed up, and driven to a normal party. But now, they are fucked up little monsters, so now might be a good time to stop carpooling. This woman, and her story, only goes towards proof to back up Jensen’s fourth rule out of many.
Driving away scared, kids grabbing a hold of your car just wanting something to eat, it might be understandable to forgot the rules of the road. But just because the number one killer now are flesh-eating zombies, doesn’t mean the old factors and ways of dying faded away. They are all still there. Driving away from getting eaten alive, and feeling that moment of safety, that’s when that woman didn’t notice the other car. That’s when she met her own death getting thrown out her own car windshield, slamming into the pavement, and skin grinding and scrapping to a halt, dead. Rule number four, a pretty basic one: SEATBELTS. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
--
Jensen Ackles is now in Garland, Texas. It’s dark, and deserted. Jensen just needs a pit stop, some gas. Now, it may look like zombies have destroyed it, but that’s just Garland. It’s been months since patient zero took a bite out of a contaminated burger at a gas and gulp. Just two months and Jensen feels like he may be the only non-cannibal freak in the country.
Jensen feels like an unlikely survivor, with a list of phobias that could fill a book. But he did have the advantage of never having any friends, or close family. It might sound sad, but before all this shit happened, Jensen never really gave it much thought. It was just how it was. But he can’t even think about that, not even know, because he just needs to survive. Survive by his list of rules.
Once his cars filled with gas, Jensen makes his way cautiously to the bathroom with his shotgun. He’s aware and guarded, rule number three in his mind. He slowly reaches for the handle, but something in his gut is screaming that something isn’t right. So he backs up, and tightens his grip on his gun.
As suspected, a zombie rushes out of the washroom. Jensen narrowly missing the door slamming him in the face as he stumbles backwards, and rushes towards his car. But zombies rarely make solo appearances, so as Jensen rounds the corner, another zombie rushes out by his car. Jensen is startled, but manages to pull the trigger.
Jensen runs as fast as he can around the deserted parking lot, both zombies on his tail. The second zombie barely affected by the buckshot in her shoulder. But because of Jensen’s first rule, he’s able to stay ahead of them. As Jensen approaches his car, after making a large loop around the lot, he quickly gets his keys out of his pocket.
Unfortunately, just because Jensen has a list of rules that work, doesn’t mean he’s not scared shitless in this moment. His hands shaking like crazy as he attempts to unlock his car door. The keys dropping from his hands, landing on the ground.
r32;“Shit.” Jensen knows there isn’t time to pick the keys up now, unless he wants to be snack food. Jensen starts his second lap around the parking lot.
Zombies are still not giving up their meat, as the continue to follow Jensen around the lot. Jensen makes his second getaway attempt. He quickly picks up the keys after his second lap, and goes to unlock the door. But what he failed to notice during round one was...the door was already unlocked.
“Of course.” Jensen sighs, rolling his eyes at himself as he quickly gets into his car.
Jensen locks the door as the zombies outside slam into his car, and start to pound at the metal between them and their dinner. Jensen quickly drives away, seatbelt in place. Jensen sighs, relaxing slightly as he quickly puts distance between him and the two zombies.
Since Jensen’s luck, hell everyone’s luck, sucks in an massive ass way, Jensen’s not safe even now. A zombie springs up from the back seat, startling Jensen. The car starts to swerve as Jensen tries to avoid getting bitten. The car slamming into a building, sending the zombie flying through the windshield, through the glass window, and into the building.
Jensen tries to catch his breath, and calm down. Tries to not focus on the pain the small crash caused. He’s at least still in the vehicle, because of rule number four. But before Jensen can truly calm himself down, and relax, the zombie jumps to his feet. Clearly still wanting his food.
“Mother-fucker.” Jensen exclaims, still out of breath.
Jensen scrambles to get his gun loaded as the zombie tries to reach through the hole he created in the windshield. Jensen putting on the windshield wipers in an attempt to keep the zombie out of reach, at least until he can load his stupid double barrel.
Jensen shoots the zombie once through the hole in the windshield, sending the zombie flying off his car. Jensen quickly gets out, knowing the zombie probably isn’t dead dead yet. Rounding the car, Jensen sees the zombie scrambling on the floor. The first bullet enough to keep him on the ground, but not enough to kill him. So, Jensen gets close and puts another shot in the zombie’s skull.
Jensen collapses against his car, and slides to the ground. Finally able to breath. Now the problem is, he has no mode of transportation. He’ll have to start walking.
Rating: R
Pairing: Eventual J2
Summary: With the world overrun by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Jensen Ackles has lived by a set of successful rules from the moment his world was turned into something not so pretty. On the road, alone, Jensen soon comes across a few more survives. All having their own unique ways to survive the zombie hell around them. All of them believing that personal ties and connections can only make you weak and vulnerable, and as a result get you killed. But maybe now they all need to rely on each other to survive. And would it really be so crazy to have some romance sparking on the sidelines.
Author's notes: If you haven’t seen the film Zombieland...this contains most of the dialogue and situations from the film. Obviously I do not own the boys, or any other character in this fic...original or Zombieland based. This is all just for fun.
Welcome to Zombieland. Those few survivors probably wish this was still America, but you can’t really have a country without people. And there aren’t that many people here, not anymore. No, now the more logical and fitting title would be the United States of Zombieland.
It didn’t take long for things to turn from bad, to total shit-storm. The world destroyed in moments, few living people left. Cities, hell, whole states burned to the ground. Run by creatures that see just about anything with a heartbeat as their next meal ticket. But there are still those surviving, the numbers dwindling day by day. But there are still people out there, somewhere.
Meet Jensen Ackles. By looking at him you wouldn’t really think that out of the world of billions of people, that he would be one of the few non zombies left in the country. But Jensen has survived off a very specific set of rules. No rules, and he’d probably be like everything else, someone’s meat.
Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: CARDIO. When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties. They just couldn’t outrun being someone’s dinner, no matter how much they tried. Poor fat bastards.
But as the infection spread and the chaos grew, it wasn’t enough to just be fast on your feet. You had to get a gun, and learn how to use it. Which leads us to Jensen’s second rule, THE DOUBLE TAP.
When cars were piling up, and people were running around crowded streets screaming and dying. Zombies having no problem finding food. Some people being meals when they didn’t have to be. Having never needed a reason to shot what looks like a person before, some people got confused and well...scared. Shooting once, and watching the zombie fall. But then what? Well, in those moments when you’re not sure if the undead are really dead dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets. Don’t try and tap that prone looking body with you’re foot. One more clean shot to the head, and you can avoid being a human happy meal.
It then wasn’t long before the zombies started to get clever. When you were at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it. You may think you’re alone, in that private moment of using the restroom...but nothing is private or safe anymore. So don’t let them catch you with your pants down, literally. Rule number three: BEWARE OF BATHROOMS.
As Zombies began to outnumber humans, that’s when you had to cut all emotional ties. Take this one woman for example, surrounded by a hand full of psychotic children, who just a couple hours ago were all just dressed up, and driven to a normal party. But now, they are fucked up little monsters, so now might be a good time to stop carpooling. This woman, and her story, only goes towards proof to back up Jensen’s fourth rule out of many.
Driving away scared, kids grabbing a hold of your car just wanting something to eat, it might be understandable to forgot the rules of the road. But just because the number one killer now are flesh-eating zombies, doesn’t mean the old factors and ways of dying faded away. They are all still there. Driving away from getting eaten alive, and feeling that moment of safety, that’s when that woman didn’t notice the other car. That’s when she met her own death getting thrown out her own car windshield, slamming into the pavement, and skin grinding and scrapping to a halt, dead. Rule number four, a pretty basic one: SEATBELTS. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
--
Jensen Ackles is now in Garland, Texas. It’s dark, and deserted. Jensen just needs a pit stop, some gas. Now, it may look like zombies have destroyed it, but that’s just Garland. It’s been months since patient zero took a bite out of a contaminated burger at a gas and gulp. Just two months and Jensen feels like he may be the only non-cannibal freak in the country.
Jensen feels like an unlikely survivor, with a list of phobias that could fill a book. But he did have the advantage of never having any friends, or close family. It might sound sad, but before all this shit happened, Jensen never really gave it much thought. It was just how it was. But he can’t even think about that, not even know, because he just needs to survive. Survive by his list of rules.
Once his cars filled with gas, Jensen makes his way cautiously to the bathroom with his shotgun. He’s aware and guarded, rule number three in his mind. He slowly reaches for the handle, but something in his gut is screaming that something isn’t right. So he backs up, and tightens his grip on his gun.
As suspected, a zombie rushes out of the washroom. Jensen narrowly missing the door slamming him in the face as he stumbles backwards, and rushes towards his car. But zombies rarely make solo appearances, so as Jensen rounds the corner, another zombie rushes out by his car. Jensen is startled, but manages to pull the trigger.
Jensen runs as fast as he can around the deserted parking lot, both zombies on his tail. The second zombie barely affected by the buckshot in her shoulder. But because of Jensen’s first rule, he’s able to stay ahead of them. As Jensen approaches his car, after making a large loop around the lot, he quickly gets his keys out of his pocket.
Unfortunately, just because Jensen has a list of rules that work, doesn’t mean he’s not scared shitless in this moment. His hands shaking like crazy as he attempts to unlock his car door. The keys dropping from his hands, landing on the ground.
r32;“Shit.” Jensen knows there isn’t time to pick the keys up now, unless he wants to be snack food. Jensen starts his second lap around the parking lot.
Zombies are still not giving up their meat, as the continue to follow Jensen around the lot. Jensen makes his second getaway attempt. He quickly picks up the keys after his second lap, and goes to unlock the door. But what he failed to notice during round one was...the door was already unlocked.
“Of course.” Jensen sighs, rolling his eyes at himself as he quickly gets into his car.
Jensen locks the door as the zombies outside slam into his car, and start to pound at the metal between them and their dinner. Jensen quickly drives away, seatbelt in place. Jensen sighs, relaxing slightly as he quickly puts distance between him and the two zombies.
Since Jensen’s luck, hell everyone’s luck, sucks in an massive ass way, Jensen’s not safe even now. A zombie springs up from the back seat, startling Jensen. The car starts to swerve as Jensen tries to avoid getting bitten. The car slamming into a building, sending the zombie flying through the windshield, through the glass window, and into the building.
Jensen tries to catch his breath, and calm down. Tries to not focus on the pain the small crash caused. He’s at least still in the vehicle, because of rule number four. But before Jensen can truly calm himself down, and relax, the zombie jumps to his feet. Clearly still wanting his food.
“Mother-fucker.” Jensen exclaims, still out of breath.
Jensen scrambles to get his gun loaded as the zombie tries to reach through the hole he created in the windshield. Jensen putting on the windshield wipers in an attempt to keep the zombie out of reach, at least until he can load his stupid double barrel.
Jensen shoots the zombie once through the hole in the windshield, sending the zombie flying off his car. Jensen quickly gets out, knowing the zombie probably isn’t dead dead yet. Rounding the car, Jensen sees the zombie scrambling on the floor. The first bullet enough to keep him on the ground, but not enough to kill him. So, Jensen gets close and puts another shot in the zombie’s skull.
Jensen collapses against his car, and slides to the ground. Finally able to breath. Now the problem is, he has no mode of transportation. He’ll have to start walking.