The Long Road Home, Outtake: Viktor's Story
Rated:R
Summary: Sequel to Ginny's Gift. Read that story first. Harry must deal with the aftermath of Voldemort's defeat.
A/N: This outtake was written by Maid Marian.
He walked into the hospital, not knowing why he was doing this. Ginny hadn’t woken up completely yet; the doctors said it could still be a few days until that happened. If Harry was there, he’d take another swing at him, but then that would only be right; Viktor would deserve it. How could he have let this happen? He should have never written to her about Gefinn. There were many things he shouldn't have done. There were many things he shouldn't have let happen.
He walked into her room and stopped in front of her bed. He wanted to go to her, wanted to sit next to her and watch her sleep, like he had done before. Harry wasn’t there, and Viktor let out a breath. He had time; he should do this. Do it now before he lost his nerve. Before he had to leave and never see her again; before his heart broke completely. He was ready to confess everything to her.
"Ginny, it’s me, Viktor. I don’t know if you can hear me. Ginny, I’m sorry; I hope you can forgive me. I should have never taken you to Gefinn. She’s evil, Ginny; I believe she is more evil than Voldemort ever was. I tried to get to you in time, to stop…"
He paused to calm his nerves.
"She held me there, in camp. Just as you Portkeyed out, she appeared before me. How could I have missed how evil she was? I know what you’d say," he snorted.
"She’s a Goddess, and she’s stronger than us."
"It still doesn’t make me feel better. She stood over me and laughed. She gloated. She’s heartless, Ginny. She told me how she was making you pay for you insolence. How I would pay for slighting her. She told me she could see my feelings, and knew I had only disdain for her. She was punishing both of us. But you more so; I think she was jealous of your love for Harry," he sighed.
"I know that doesn’t make sense. I don’t think she knows love."
He sat for a moment gathering his thoughts.
"She told me what she had done. She laughed about it. She took our gifts and then she told me she would strip you of your powers. I told her she was a cheat, and she laughed. She said she told you that she would make you and Harry equals. Said she never promised his powers would be restored. She twisted her words into deceit and pain." He bowed his head and sat there for a while in silence.
"I know some of what you felt. Gefinn thought it would be funny for me to feel what you would feel when your powers were stripped." He went quiet again.
"I’ve felt Cruciatus, I thought that was the worst pain I would ever feel in my life." His voice shook with the effort of holding off the memory.
"Ginny…" A tear left his eye, and he placed his hand on hers. "I can’t imagine the pain you went through. I don’t know that I could have survived it. You are so strong. The strongest woman I’ve ever met. Gefinn is right, you and Harry are equals. Equals in so many ways, that no one will ever be able to come between you."
He didn’t know whether he should tell her all that he knew. Could she even hear him? Part of him needed her to know.
"Gefinn told me the first offer she made you. The offer you refused and berated her for. She told me, because she knew it would hurt me. But not how you might think. I know she wanted you to seduce me. To give your virginity to someone other than your true love; give it to someone that loved you. Please Ginny, do not hate me…" He stopped.
"I know she told you how I felt about you. I remember the pain in your eyes that last night at camp. And when she gloated, I knew I had caused that pain. What you don’t know…"
He removed his hand from hers and rubbed his stinging eyes.
"What you do not know, is that a part of me wanted to… I know it sounds selfish. I know it would have been wrong. But I would have had you, if for only one time. I would know what it would feel like to have you in my arms. To kiss your lips. To be one with you…" His voice trailed off.
"I know that it would also have been the end of me, because you would have been doing it for him. You would never truly have been mine, no matter how hard I might try to pretend otherwise. I don’t know that either of us would have survived the guilt and again, Gefinn would have won."
Viktor sat by Ginny’s bedside, gazing at her still form. He had to keep going.
"You are so brave," he marvelled. "Not many gir… women, would ridicule a goddess. She was furious with you. She told you lies, knowing your principles would weigh heavily on your mind. You did not throw yourself at me. You did not flirt. You did not scheme to make me fall in love with you. You were nothing but yourself. No ruse, no artifice." He stopped, hoping his anger would subside.
"You are a decent, honourable young woman. You were nothing but honest and up-front with your intentions. You did nothing wrong."
He had to stop again. The feelings she was bringing out in him were beginning to overwhelm him. He thanked whoever was in control of his life that Ginny was asleep. If she could affect him like this by lying there, what would become of him if she were awake?
"I need to apologise to you again. I don’t think I ever really did. I’m sorry I searched your soul last year. It was a violation, as much as it would have been if you'd done as the goddess asked and given yourself to me. But I know what you’d say." He smiled.
"Viktor, it wasn’t your fault, you were being controlled." The memory of her words to him last summer echoed through his mind.
"But it’s more than that, Ginny. I knew you were a Jewel-wright the first time I looked at you. But I saw more there. I’m ashamed to admit it. I saw something in you that just couldn’t be, and I needed to find out what it was. At first I thought you had darkness in you. It intrigued me. How could this slip of a girl, with vibrant red hair be dark? I studied you closely. I know you felt me, but I needed to find out. And yes there was darkness within you, but at the same time, it was not you. It was immense, and I believe it almost consumed you at one time." He smiled at her. "But I could tell, even then, that you were a fighter. You overcame this darkness. I saw the strength in you, strength which still grows." He put his head down sadly. "In a way, I had hoped you would tell me about this some day. I want to know who could have done this to you. I want to avenge the monster that hurt you so deeply."
He stopped again, not knowing if he should leave.
"I think that's when it started. That’s when I saw the real you. Strong, vibrant, alive, and yes… beautiful."
He picked up her hand, and placed it in his, stroking it gently.
"I know it was wrong to have feelings for you; you were my student. But you gave me hope. The strength I saw in you, gave me the strength to do what I needed to do."
He continued his caress of her hand as he spoke.
"Then, after the last battle, when you forgave me. I can’t tell you what that did. You had every right to hate me, but you didn’t. I knew I needed to find out more about you, but I wanted to do it the proper way. That is one reason why I wrote to you last summer. I wanted to see your thoughts on paper. I wanted to hear your response to my thoughts. I will always treasure those few letters we exchanged."
He was lost in thought, although his fingers moved gently over hers the whole time.
"I was thrilled when you wrote to me in November. I wanted to help you in any way I could. If I could keep those letters coming, I’d be a happy man. I won’t tell you what I did when you wrote to say you were coming to see me," he smiled. "Needless to say, I was thrilled. I sat in that horrible inn for hours, waiting for you. You were adorable when you came in. Out of breath, hair flying everywhere and I know you were shocked that I'd waited; your expression told it all. Little did you know, I would have waited a lifetime for you."
He tried to gather his thoughts. How much should he say? He should tell her everything, after all, this would be the last time her saw her.
"I know when you first came to Durmstrang you thought I was being an overprotective brother. I held my laugh with your sarcastic Yes, Sirs, at one point I thought you’d salute me. I couldn’t tell you what I felt. I knew you would leave, and that is the last thing I wanted. But I was also furious with you. How could you put your life in such jeopardy? Not only travelling by yourself, but over the sea for hours. Do you have any idea what it would have done to me? To know that you were on your way to see me, and then you disappeared. I don’t think I could have coped."
He stopped to gather his thoughts once again.
"You threw yourself into your task. I admired you, but at the same time I wanted to throttle you. I wanted to keep you safe and healthy, but you would have none of that. I wondered why you were like this, and it wasn’t until I stopped thinking of myself that I saw it. I saw the love you have for him. I saw the future you were looking for. I envied him. I hated him."
He brushed his eyes with his hands. He needed to finish this. He needed to leave her with her new life.
"You are a very special person, Ginny Weasley. Anyone that has your love is a lucky man. Harry is a lucky man. I will always cherish our friendship. I thank you for your trust in me. I thank you for being a part of my life."
Knowing he had to leave, and dreaded the finality of that undertaking. He just sat there waiting for her to move, to speak, to open her eyes. He wanted to see her eyes. He loved her eyes. They weren’t just plain brown eyes, as she had once said. They were filled with colour, with life. Her eyes had a sparkle all their own.
"Can you hear me, Ginny? Please wake up. I’d like to see you smile. I’d like to hear your laugh." He sighed again. "I guess you’re saving that for Harry. That’s fine, I have my memories. No one can take those from me." He hesitated. "I love you, Ginny."
He stood up and then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, lingering, perhaps a bit longer than he should. Slowly he raised his face, gazing down on her pale complexion. Not being able to resist her a moment longer, he tenderly kissed her lips. He straightened himself, stood tall, and prepared to walk away.
"If ever you need me, know that I will always be there for you," he said softly.
Viktor turned to go, he stopped mid-step.
"Harry."
"Viktor."
"I came to say goodbye to Ginny," he said quietly.
"I can see that." Harry's tone was not happy.
"Please tell her I was here," he said as he started to walk towards the door again.
"Should I also tell her you’ll be waiting in the wings? Waiting for me to screw up so you can come and take her away?" Harry said harshly.
"No, Harry. I won’t be in the wings, it would serve no purpose."
"Being noble, Viktor?" Harry said quite sarcastically.
"No, just realistic. She’s yours. She will always be yours. Even when you are no longer here. The only thing I can ever be to her is a friend." He bowed his head, and then raised it again, a pain encircling his heart. "But even that is now impossible."
"Why is that! Have you…" Harry couldn’t finish his accusation.
"No! Nothing happened. Gefinn told Ginny of my feelings for her. She made sure none of us was spared her hate," he said vehemently. Ginny is far too kind-hearted to see me in pain. She will not wish to be around me; she will see the pain in my eyes."
"So what will you do?" Harry asked.
"I will go back to Durmstrang. I will teach. And I’ll pray that one day I’ll be lucky enough to find…"
"A replacement," Harry mocked.
"No." He looked Harry squarely in the eyes. "Someone that loves me as Ginny loves you."
"She told you? The two of you discussed us?" he said somewhat hurt.
"No, Harry. I could not help but see it. After a while, when I knew what my feelings were, I looked closer. I tried to see if it was something other than love."
"Looking for your chance?" Harry spat.
"Yes, I won’t lie to you. Had I seen an opening I would have taken it. That makes us somewhat the same. You saw your opening and you took it. We both know something special when it is in front of us." He wasn’t sure if he should go on. He thought that Harry might take another swing at him, but even that would be welcome. He hesitated a moment longer and then spoke. "I don’t think I’ll be telling you anything you don’t know. Her love for you begins at her core. It’s engrained in her soul. I thought I saw gratitude, and I did, but it’s such a small part of her feelings for you. Gefinn thought by taking her memories from her, she’d take you from her. She misjudged Ginny. Her love is so deep, she would recognise you instantly. She’s loved you forever, even before this life, I believe. You’ll never have to fear her love dying; it will follow her even in death."
"How do you know this?" Harry demanded. "What did you do, search her soul for days on end?"
"There was no need for that. Her love for you is out in the open, it’s there to see, for whoever wishes to see," he said sadly.
Viktor walked past Harry, a wrenching pain grasping his heart. This was for the best. His being here would hurt her, and that is something he couldn’t bear. Just as he past under the threshold Harry called to him.
"Viktor."
He stopped and turned towards Harry.
"Thank you." Viktor must have given him a confused look. "Thank you for protecting her."
"I did not protect her enough. Had I done a proper job she would not be here. She would not be injured."
"I guess you don’t know Ginny. Nothing could have stopped her once her mind was made up," Harry smiled, "Actually she can be quite scary if you tell her she can’t do something. I don’t want to think what she’d have done to you, had you tried."
Viktor laughed, "I picked up on that trait of hers awfully fast." Sadly he added, "I know I couldn’t stop her, I just wish the outcome could have been different."
Harry looked pensive. "I know, but then she and I would not be equals. She said that to me, when she woke the other day. She didn’t care about her powers. She said as long as we were equal, we could survive anything… together." Harry thrust his hand towards Viktor.
Viktor stepped forward and shook Harry’s hand. Although he no longer had his gift, he could see Harry’s love for Ginny, plain on his face, just as he had seen it on hers. He turned and walked out of her room; hoping life would be kinder to him in the future, than it had been thus far.
Chapter 25
Summary: Sequel to Ginny's Gift. Read that story first. Harry must deal with the aftermath of Voldemort's defeat.
A/N: This outtake was written by Maid Marian.
He walked into the hospital, not knowing why he was doing this. Ginny hadn’t woken up completely yet; the doctors said it could still be a few days until that happened. If Harry was there, he’d take another swing at him, but then that would only be right; Viktor would deserve it. How could he have let this happen? He should have never written to her about Gefinn. There were many things he shouldn't have done. There were many things he shouldn't have let happen.
He walked into her room and stopped in front of her bed. He wanted to go to her, wanted to sit next to her and watch her sleep, like he had done before. Harry wasn’t there, and Viktor let out a breath. He had time; he should do this. Do it now before he lost his nerve. Before he had to leave and never see her again; before his heart broke completely. He was ready to confess everything to her.
"Ginny, it’s me, Viktor. I don’t know if you can hear me. Ginny, I’m sorry; I hope you can forgive me. I should have never taken you to Gefinn. She’s evil, Ginny; I believe she is more evil than Voldemort ever was. I tried to get to you in time, to stop…"
He paused to calm his nerves.
"She held me there, in camp. Just as you Portkeyed out, she appeared before me. How could I have missed how evil she was? I know what you’d say," he snorted.
"She’s a Goddess, and she’s stronger than us."
"It still doesn’t make me feel better. She stood over me and laughed. She gloated. She’s heartless, Ginny. She told me how she was making you pay for you insolence. How I would pay for slighting her. She told me she could see my feelings, and knew I had only disdain for her. She was punishing both of us. But you more so; I think she was jealous of your love for Harry," he sighed.
"I know that doesn’t make sense. I don’t think she knows love."
He sat for a moment gathering his thoughts.
"She told me what she had done. She laughed about it. She took our gifts and then she told me she would strip you of your powers. I told her she was a cheat, and she laughed. She said she told you that she would make you and Harry equals. Said she never promised his powers would be restored. She twisted her words into deceit and pain." He bowed his head and sat there for a while in silence.
"I know some of what you felt. Gefinn thought it would be funny for me to feel what you would feel when your powers were stripped." He went quiet again.
"I’ve felt Cruciatus, I thought that was the worst pain I would ever feel in my life." His voice shook with the effort of holding off the memory.
"Ginny…" A tear left his eye, and he placed his hand on hers. "I can’t imagine the pain you went through. I don’t know that I could have survived it. You are so strong. The strongest woman I’ve ever met. Gefinn is right, you and Harry are equals. Equals in so many ways, that no one will ever be able to come between you."
He didn’t know whether he should tell her all that he knew. Could she even hear him? Part of him needed her to know.
"Gefinn told me the first offer she made you. The offer you refused and berated her for. She told me, because she knew it would hurt me. But not how you might think. I know she wanted you to seduce me. To give your virginity to someone other than your true love; give it to someone that loved you. Please Ginny, do not hate me…" He stopped.
"I know she told you how I felt about you. I remember the pain in your eyes that last night at camp. And when she gloated, I knew I had caused that pain. What you don’t know…"
He removed his hand from hers and rubbed his stinging eyes.
"What you do not know, is that a part of me wanted to… I know it sounds selfish. I know it would have been wrong. But I would have had you, if for only one time. I would know what it would feel like to have you in my arms. To kiss your lips. To be one with you…" His voice trailed off.
"I know that it would also have been the end of me, because you would have been doing it for him. You would never truly have been mine, no matter how hard I might try to pretend otherwise. I don’t know that either of us would have survived the guilt and again, Gefinn would have won."
Viktor sat by Ginny’s bedside, gazing at her still form. He had to keep going.
"You are so brave," he marvelled. "Not many gir… women, would ridicule a goddess. She was furious with you. She told you lies, knowing your principles would weigh heavily on your mind. You did not throw yourself at me. You did not flirt. You did not scheme to make me fall in love with you. You were nothing but yourself. No ruse, no artifice." He stopped, hoping his anger would subside.
"You are a decent, honourable young woman. You were nothing but honest and up-front with your intentions. You did nothing wrong."
He had to stop again. The feelings she was bringing out in him were beginning to overwhelm him. He thanked whoever was in control of his life that Ginny was asleep. If she could affect him like this by lying there, what would become of him if she were awake?
"I need to apologise to you again. I don’t think I ever really did. I’m sorry I searched your soul last year. It was a violation, as much as it would have been if you'd done as the goddess asked and given yourself to me. But I know what you’d say." He smiled.
"Viktor, it wasn’t your fault, you were being controlled." The memory of her words to him last summer echoed through his mind.
"But it’s more than that, Ginny. I knew you were a Jewel-wright the first time I looked at you. But I saw more there. I’m ashamed to admit it. I saw something in you that just couldn’t be, and I needed to find out what it was. At first I thought you had darkness in you. It intrigued me. How could this slip of a girl, with vibrant red hair be dark? I studied you closely. I know you felt me, but I needed to find out. And yes there was darkness within you, but at the same time, it was not you. It was immense, and I believe it almost consumed you at one time." He smiled at her. "But I could tell, even then, that you were a fighter. You overcame this darkness. I saw the strength in you, strength which still grows." He put his head down sadly. "In a way, I had hoped you would tell me about this some day. I want to know who could have done this to you. I want to avenge the monster that hurt you so deeply."
He stopped again, not knowing if he should leave.
"I think that's when it started. That’s when I saw the real you. Strong, vibrant, alive, and yes… beautiful."
He picked up her hand, and placed it in his, stroking it gently.
"I know it was wrong to have feelings for you; you were my student. But you gave me hope. The strength I saw in you, gave me the strength to do what I needed to do."
He continued his caress of her hand as he spoke.
"Then, after the last battle, when you forgave me. I can’t tell you what that did. You had every right to hate me, but you didn’t. I knew I needed to find out more about you, but I wanted to do it the proper way. That is one reason why I wrote to you last summer. I wanted to see your thoughts on paper. I wanted to hear your response to my thoughts. I will always treasure those few letters we exchanged."
He was lost in thought, although his fingers moved gently over hers the whole time.
"I was thrilled when you wrote to me in November. I wanted to help you in any way I could. If I could keep those letters coming, I’d be a happy man. I won’t tell you what I did when you wrote to say you were coming to see me," he smiled. "Needless to say, I was thrilled. I sat in that horrible inn for hours, waiting for you. You were adorable when you came in. Out of breath, hair flying everywhere and I know you were shocked that I'd waited; your expression told it all. Little did you know, I would have waited a lifetime for you."
He tried to gather his thoughts. How much should he say? He should tell her everything, after all, this would be the last time her saw her.
"I know when you first came to Durmstrang you thought I was being an overprotective brother. I held my laugh with your sarcastic Yes, Sirs, at one point I thought you’d salute me. I couldn’t tell you what I felt. I knew you would leave, and that is the last thing I wanted. But I was also furious with you. How could you put your life in such jeopardy? Not only travelling by yourself, but over the sea for hours. Do you have any idea what it would have done to me? To know that you were on your way to see me, and then you disappeared. I don’t think I could have coped."
He stopped to gather his thoughts once again.
"You threw yourself into your task. I admired you, but at the same time I wanted to throttle you. I wanted to keep you safe and healthy, but you would have none of that. I wondered why you were like this, and it wasn’t until I stopped thinking of myself that I saw it. I saw the love you have for him. I saw the future you were looking for. I envied him. I hated him."
He brushed his eyes with his hands. He needed to finish this. He needed to leave her with her new life.
"You are a very special person, Ginny Weasley. Anyone that has your love is a lucky man. Harry is a lucky man. I will always cherish our friendship. I thank you for your trust in me. I thank you for being a part of my life."
Knowing he had to leave, and dreaded the finality of that undertaking. He just sat there waiting for her to move, to speak, to open her eyes. He wanted to see her eyes. He loved her eyes. They weren’t just plain brown eyes, as she had once said. They were filled with colour, with life. Her eyes had a sparkle all their own.
"Can you hear me, Ginny? Please wake up. I’d like to see you smile. I’d like to hear your laugh." He sighed again. "I guess you’re saving that for Harry. That’s fine, I have my memories. No one can take those from me." He hesitated. "I love you, Ginny."
He stood up and then leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, lingering, perhaps a bit longer than he should. Slowly he raised his face, gazing down on her pale complexion. Not being able to resist her a moment longer, he tenderly kissed her lips. He straightened himself, stood tall, and prepared to walk away.
"If ever you need me, know that I will always be there for you," he said softly.
Viktor turned to go, he stopped mid-step.
"Harry."
"Viktor."
"I came to say goodbye to Ginny," he said quietly.
"I can see that." Harry's tone was not happy.
"Please tell her I was here," he said as he started to walk towards the door again.
"Should I also tell her you’ll be waiting in the wings? Waiting for me to screw up so you can come and take her away?" Harry said harshly.
"No, Harry. I won’t be in the wings, it would serve no purpose."
"Being noble, Viktor?" Harry said quite sarcastically.
"No, just realistic. She’s yours. She will always be yours. Even when you are no longer here. The only thing I can ever be to her is a friend." He bowed his head, and then raised it again, a pain encircling his heart. "But even that is now impossible."
"Why is that! Have you…" Harry couldn’t finish his accusation.
"No! Nothing happened. Gefinn told Ginny of my feelings for her. She made sure none of us was spared her hate," he said vehemently. Ginny is far too kind-hearted to see me in pain. She will not wish to be around me; she will see the pain in my eyes."
"So what will you do?" Harry asked.
"I will go back to Durmstrang. I will teach. And I’ll pray that one day I’ll be lucky enough to find…"
"A replacement," Harry mocked.
"No." He looked Harry squarely in the eyes. "Someone that loves me as Ginny loves you."
"She told you? The two of you discussed us?" he said somewhat hurt.
"No, Harry. I could not help but see it. After a while, when I knew what my feelings were, I looked closer. I tried to see if it was something other than love."
"Looking for your chance?" Harry spat.
"Yes, I won’t lie to you. Had I seen an opening I would have taken it. That makes us somewhat the same. You saw your opening and you took it. We both know something special when it is in front of us." He wasn’t sure if he should go on. He thought that Harry might take another swing at him, but even that would be welcome. He hesitated a moment longer and then spoke. "I don’t think I’ll be telling you anything you don’t know. Her love for you begins at her core. It’s engrained in her soul. I thought I saw gratitude, and I did, but it’s such a small part of her feelings for you. Gefinn thought by taking her memories from her, she’d take you from her. She misjudged Ginny. Her love is so deep, she would recognise you instantly. She’s loved you forever, even before this life, I believe. You’ll never have to fear her love dying; it will follow her even in death."
"How do you know this?" Harry demanded. "What did you do, search her soul for days on end?"
"There was no need for that. Her love for you is out in the open, it’s there to see, for whoever wishes to see," he said sadly.
Viktor walked past Harry, a wrenching pain grasping his heart. This was for the best. His being here would hurt her, and that is something he couldn’t bear. Just as he past under the threshold Harry called to him.
"Viktor."
He stopped and turned towards Harry.
"Thank you." Viktor must have given him a confused look. "Thank you for protecting her."
"I did not protect her enough. Had I done a proper job she would not be here. She would not be injured."
"I guess you don’t know Ginny. Nothing could have stopped her once her mind was made up," Harry smiled, "Actually she can be quite scary if you tell her she can’t do something. I don’t want to think what she’d have done to you, had you tried."
Viktor laughed, "I picked up on that trait of hers awfully fast." Sadly he added, "I know I couldn’t stop her, I just wish the outcome could have been different."
Harry looked pensive. "I know, but then she and I would not be equals. She said that to me, when she woke the other day. She didn’t care about her powers. She said as long as we were equal, we could survive anything… together." Harry thrust his hand towards Viktor.
Viktor stepped forward and shook Harry’s hand. Although he no longer had his gift, he could see Harry’s love for Ginny, plain on his face, just as he had seen it on hers. He turned and walked out of her room; hoping life would be kinder to him in the future, than it had been thus far.
Chapter 25