Take My Word for it
A subject of extreme importance has come to mind of late...the battle between Pepsi Lime and Coke Lime.
Simulcast in XANGA-vision
Introduction
Should limes be allowed in our colas in the first place? Let's take a look at the lime:
Chapter One: The Lime
A beautiful fruit, indeed. Invented by Christopher Columbus on his 1492 voyage, the lime has been a major player in world history since. Limes have always stood for democracy.
Benjamin Franklime wrote the Declaration of Independence in 1776
With the help of limes, Lincoln freed the slaves and ended the Civil War.
Early in the 20th century, aviation was all the rage.
Here we see a rare photo of the prototype Lime Zeppelin. The design was canned, and this happened:
So, it can be proven that limes are God's gift to humanity and should be used at all possible occasions.
Chapter Two: we look at which soft drink is not evil (hint: it rhymes with Shmoca-Shmola)
On the left is a silhouette of a Coca-Cola 20 oz plastic bottle, on the right: Pepsi
Note the smooth, lean lines of the Coke bottle. sleek, and sexy. This is reflected in Coca-Cola products' various labels, featuring smooth curves and tasteful color choices. Coca-Cola says: Here I am, accept me for I am gracious and gentle
Now, observe the Pepsi bottle's stout, thick shape. Shorter and wider than the Coke bottle, it seems angry as if it suffers from an inferiority complex. Obviously a bottle is a phallic symbol but Pepsi seems to take its status to an extreme. Pepsi's labels are jumbles of clashing colors, angles and hard corners. It says: I will overpower you--I am the alpha male; Open and receive my nectar
Chapter Two part Two: Pepsi and Coke in History in Brief
In the 1960s the smartest people in the world were the Beatles. And of course we should copy their every lifestyle choice. Let's see first which brand of soda they preferred:
On close inspection one notes that all three bottlecaps are red, thus the Beatles drank Coca-Cola. And so should we
(Editor's note: Mr. Lennon is not pictured with a bottle of Coca-Cola because of the white suit he is wearing. He enjoyed the taste of Coca-Cola so much he often spilled it down the front of his shirts, and was scared of staining this suit. Once the photo shoot wrapped he poured a gallon of Coca-Cola over his head)
On the flipside, we see here Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald--the accused slayer of President Kennedy. Ruby's actions interfered with justice and destroyed any chance we might have had of knowing for certain who killed JFK
Does it surprise you that such a man would drink Pepsi? Not I, young galleons, not I
Chapter Three: we trace the history of Lime-Cola
Lime Cola first appeared in this tablet that Moses brought down from Mt. Sinai, which was later used as a print ad for Coca-Cola:
Unready for such power Lime Cola was not part of the general consumer atmosphere for over forty years, by which time we had evolved onto the Internet and had cellular phones implanted in our skulls.
One Spring in 2004, Diet Coke with Lime was available in a Publix
A long-time advocate of squeezing miscellaneous fruits into my Cola, I purchased it with fervor. To my joy, it tasted wonderful and thusly I began my affair with aspartame. To my surprise I learned it was not widely known of, and I spread the Gospel as much as I could.
A year later on the campus of Southeastern University (neé College) I saw an advertisement affixed to the frosty fridge door in the café:
Lime was available pre-packaged in Coca-Cola with full levels of sugar and no cancer. What's more, is that in this form the lime is so powerful it can chemically alter the cola to become pure lime. The can you see here was cut with those magic knives you see on late-night TV
As often as I could, I drank this beverage. Yet aside from the above image, I found no advertisement. For over a year, Coca-Cola has had its Holy Lime Cola Juices on the market yet seemingly want no one to know. Then in Mid-April the commercial hit the air: this one.
It was everywhere, on everyone's lips. Success at last. Victor: Coca-Cola!
Right?
Wrong.
Immediately, Pepsi Lime launched. The commercials, featuring two computer-generated cannibalistic Caribbean limes were well-done but never told you to buy the product, only that limes enjoyed it.
But buy the product I did. And was disgusted.
It didn't taste bad
It didn't taste like lime
It tasted like Pepsi. I've sat cans of Pepsi and Pepsi Lime next to each other, done a taste test. They taste the same. Pepsi Lime is besmirching the name of good limes everywhere with its blatant lies.What's worse is that Pepsi Lime has a web presence and Coke has none.
The timing of the commercials make it seem as if the products coincidentally came out at the same time when in reality Coke with Lime had been brewing for quite some time.
Pepsi is lying to America and should be removed from the shelves. The limes in question should be jailed...or juiced.
Coca-Cola with Lime is the only true choice. The only LIME choice. Coca-Cola with Lime is the drug of our generation. Drink it with me
Simulcast in XANGA-vision
Introduction
Should limes be allowed in our colas in the first place? Let's take a look at the lime:
Chapter One: The Lime
A beautiful fruit, indeed. Invented by Christopher Columbus on his 1492 voyage, the lime has been a major player in world history since. Limes have always stood for democracy.
Benjamin Franklime wrote the Declaration of Independence in 1776
With the help of limes, Lincoln freed the slaves and ended the Civil War.
Early in the 20th century, aviation was all the rage.
Here we see a rare photo of the prototype Lime Zeppelin. The design was canned, and this happened:
So, it can be proven that limes are God's gift to humanity and should be used at all possible occasions.
Chapter Two: we look at which soft drink is not evil (hint: it rhymes with Shmoca-Shmola)
On the left is a silhouette of a Coca-Cola 20 oz plastic bottle, on the right: Pepsi
Note the smooth, lean lines of the Coke bottle. sleek, and sexy. This is reflected in Coca-Cola products' various labels, featuring smooth curves and tasteful color choices. Coca-Cola says: Here I am, accept me for I am gracious and gentle
Now, observe the Pepsi bottle's stout, thick shape. Shorter and wider than the Coke bottle, it seems angry as if it suffers from an inferiority complex. Obviously a bottle is a phallic symbol but Pepsi seems to take its status to an extreme. Pepsi's labels are jumbles of clashing colors, angles and hard corners. It says: I will overpower you--I am the alpha male; Open and receive my nectar
Chapter Two part Two: Pepsi and Coke in History in Brief
In the 1960s the smartest people in the world were the Beatles. And of course we should copy their every lifestyle choice. Let's see first which brand of soda they preferred:
On close inspection one notes that all three bottlecaps are red, thus the Beatles drank Coca-Cola. And so should we
(Editor's note: Mr. Lennon is not pictured with a bottle of Coca-Cola because of the white suit he is wearing. He enjoyed the taste of Coca-Cola so much he often spilled it down the front of his shirts, and was scared of staining this suit. Once the photo shoot wrapped he poured a gallon of Coca-Cola over his head)
On the flipside, we see here Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald--the accused slayer of President Kennedy. Ruby's actions interfered with justice and destroyed any chance we might have had of knowing for certain who killed JFK
Does it surprise you that such a man would drink Pepsi? Not I, young galleons, not I
Chapter Three: we trace the history of Lime-Cola
Lime Cola first appeared in this tablet that Moses brought down from Mt. Sinai, which was later used as a print ad for Coca-Cola:
Unready for such power Lime Cola was not part of the general consumer atmosphere for over forty years, by which time we had evolved onto the Internet and had cellular phones implanted in our skulls.
One Spring in 2004, Diet Coke with Lime was available in a Publix
A long-time advocate of squeezing miscellaneous fruits into my Cola, I purchased it with fervor. To my joy, it tasted wonderful and thusly I began my affair with aspartame. To my surprise I learned it was not widely known of, and I spread the Gospel as much as I could.
A year later on the campus of Southeastern University (neé College) I saw an advertisement affixed to the frosty fridge door in the café:
Lime was available pre-packaged in Coca-Cola with full levels of sugar and no cancer. What's more, is that in this form the lime is so powerful it can chemically alter the cola to become pure lime. The can you see here was cut with those magic knives you see on late-night TV
As often as I could, I drank this beverage. Yet aside from the above image, I found no advertisement. For over a year, Coca-Cola has had its Holy Lime Cola Juices on the market yet seemingly want no one to know. Then in Mid-April the commercial hit the air: this one.
It was everywhere, on everyone's lips. Success at last. Victor: Coca-Cola!
Right?
Wrong.
Immediately, Pepsi Lime launched. The commercials, featuring two computer-generated cannibalistic Caribbean limes were well-done but never told you to buy the product, only that limes enjoyed it.
But buy the product I did. And was disgusted.
It didn't taste bad
It didn't taste like lime
It tasted like Pepsi. I've sat cans of Pepsi and Pepsi Lime next to each other, done a taste test. They taste the same. Pepsi Lime is besmirching the name of good limes everywhere with its blatant lies.What's worse is that Pepsi Lime has a web presence and Coke has none.
The timing of the commercials make it seem as if the products coincidentally came out at the same time when in reality Coke with Lime had been brewing for quite some time.
Pepsi is lying to America and should be removed from the shelves. The limes in question should be jailed...or juiced.
Coca-Cola with Lime is the only true choice. The only LIME choice. Coca-Cola with Lime is the drug of our generation. Drink it with me