BECAUSE SHE IS A SPECIAL GRRRRRRL
In honor of my Iceman.
****NSA OFFICIAL REPORT****
DE-CLASSIFIED 1-20-09
Agent Acheson: below is included all the present data we have on your target, Jenn Hewitt.
TRUE JENN FACTS:
-She has an organ above her eyes that converts seawater to freshwater.
-She is actually not a nut; she is a legume.
-A monthly vitamin A shot is known to give her a healthy, glossy coat.
-She has a bite pressure of over six thousand pounds per square inch, making her the sole consumer of the hard-shelled Brazil Nut.
-After mating, she emits a paralytic pherenome and then devours the gonad of her mate, to trigger the egg-laying process
-She is known to kill men of all races and creeds simply for "breathing my air, niggers".
Name: Jenn Hewitt
Age: 21
Place of Birth: Marrakesh
Political Leanings: Gleeful Anarchist
Preferred weapon: Assault rifle strapped to another assault rife; rusty bayonet, military grade industrial bagel slicer.
-Winner of the Noble Prize in political skullduggery after he successful overthrow of the King of Jordan using only a karaoke machine.
-Undisputed master of the dance floor.
-Due to her baboons heart, pig liver, velociraptor claws and crocodile teeth, is known to the side-show world as The Amazing Chimera-Woman.
-The only known woman to kill an entire platoon of fully armed Navy SEALS with a knitting needle and cutting remarks.
-Her chief export is sass.
-She is like the prow of a rude viking ship.
****NSA OFFICIAL REPORT****
DE-CLASSIFIED 1-20-09
Agent Acheson: below is included all the present data we have on your target, Jenn Hewitt.
TRUE JENN FACTS:
-She has an organ above her eyes that converts seawater to freshwater.
-She is actually not a nut; she is a legume.
-A monthly vitamin A shot is known to give her a healthy, glossy coat.
-She has a bite pressure of over six thousand pounds per square inch, making her the sole consumer of the hard-shelled Brazil Nut.
-After mating, she emits a paralytic pherenome and then devours the gonad of her mate, to trigger the egg-laying process
-She is known to kill men of all races and creeds simply for "breathing my air, niggers".
Name: Jenn Hewitt
Age: 21
Place of Birth: Marrakesh
Political Leanings: Gleeful Anarchist
Preferred weapon: Assault rifle strapped to another assault rife; rusty bayonet, military grade industrial bagel slicer.
-Winner of the Noble Prize in political skullduggery after he successful overthrow of the King of Jordan using only a karaoke machine.
-Undisputed master of the dance floor.
-Due to her baboons heart, pig liver, velociraptor claws and crocodile teeth, is known to the side-show world as The Amazing Chimera-Woman.
-The only known woman to kill an entire platoon of fully armed Navy SEALS with a knitting needle and cutting remarks.
-Her chief export is sass.
-She is like the prow of a rude viking ship.