(no subject)
I'm a bit down this evening. Solution: post another edition of Overheard Lately. Someday I really need to fix the tags on these things.
Ash: Hush little baby, don't cry at all
Mama's gonna buy you a rubber ball
If that rubber ball won't bounce
Mama's gonna buy you a cat named Pounce
If that cat named Pounce runs off
Mama's gonna buy you a hat to doff
If that hat to doff goes flat
Mama's gonna buy you your own black bat
If that black bat flies away
Mama's gonna buy you some Oil of Olay
If that Oil of Olay goes squish
Mama's gonna buy you a giant fish
If that giant fish should drown
We'll fry it up and we'll feed the whole town.
Susan: Let's scare her by singing songs about being eaten by tropical animals!
Ash: I only give out two pieces of advice to other new parents. First, there's more than one way to do everything and everything is negotiable, no matter what anyone tells you. Second, except laundry. That's not negotiable. You gotta do laundry all the time. Or else you'll be naked and covered in puree. You'll be naked and covered in puree anyway, actually, but not quite as often.
Mom to Robin: Look, it's your mom! Say hi to your mom!
Robin: *blows a raspberry*
Ash: That's my girl.
Ash: [to self] No, Ash, do not buy trees.
Chris: Yeah, trees are easy to get. They grow on trees.
Ash: I'd really love to go back to sleep. If I bribe you with internet, can I do that?
Chris: Give her a chance to flour on her own.
Ash: What if she's a late bloomer?
Chris: It's a chance we'll crust have to take.
Ash: I like this bread bin. Except that I'm not sure how big it is.
Chris: *nearly dies while trying not to give the obvious answer*
Ash: I just have to love a man who sings the Super Mario Brothers' theme song while changing diapers.
Chris: [to Robin] Uh oh, we'd better move you before something silly happens.
Ash: Yeah, we wouldn't have the faintest idea how to cope with something silly.
Chris: [reading to Robin] Boy. Girl. Heteronormative gender roles. Ball. Sun. Note that the actual sun doesn't have spikes. Flower. Butterfly. You may remember this butterfly from such roles as "The Very Hungry Caterpillar."
Ash: Is it just me, or is our life here 50% better?
Chris: Just you. It's 100% better.
Chris: Did you get the door?
Ash, Yes, it's in the backpack. It was hard to squish it in, though.
Chris: But now no one can break into our house while we're gone! Because there's no door!
Ash: I kinda wish it worked like that.
Chris: [to Robin] You turned it off and then on again! And thus begins your career in tech support.
Ash: It was the toilet paper of Damocles.
Ash: [reads A Three Hat Day to Robin]
Chris: This is a weird book.
Ash: It's a book about finding true love through a hat that has a seal and bells on it!
Chris: Yes, that's sure to be applicable at least once in her life.
Ash: We need to think of a puntastic name for our Wii.
Chris: Ping Angel?
Ash: Huh?
Chris: Wii Ping Angel.
Ash: That's both beautiful and terrifying.
Chris: Like a Weeping Angel!
(other options considered were Lee Bin and L of Fortune, but Ping Angel won out)
Ash: Maybe we could save some money to hire a cleaner later. Though I'm sure your mum would wonder why we'd bothered when we could've asked her to do it. But if she did it I'd just feel guilty!
Chris: So you'd rather pay in sterling than guilt [gilt]?
Ash: I admit it. I married you for puns like that.
Ash: [playing Shining Force 2] Darn it, more desert. It exists just to piss off my centaurs.
Chris: Well, they can't always be the centaur of attention.
Ash: I will write that down, and then I will kill you.
[while watching Robin make an astonishing mess of sausage puree, and being gloomy about our future evening of cleaning it/her up]
Chris: How do you cope without being able to have a drink?
Ash: Chocolate and a sense of humor.
Ash: Are we buying food for a party or a siege?
Chris: I don't know anymore!
Ash: Nooooooooooooo, I don't want to be the mother of the next Jackson Pollock!!!
[while playing Ni No Kumi]
Ash: That thing looks like a cross between a Clanger and a banana.
[in choir, while considering a new piece]
Tanya: I don't think we have the brain power to bash through this one today.
Ash: All right, let's flail in its general direction instead.
Robin: [bites Ash's foot]
Ash: I am not food! ...darn it, you of all people aren't going to buy that argument!
Chris: [mournful] I must've really been in the composing zone yesterday. I abandoned an entire cup of tea.
Ash: ...uh, you do that a lot?
Chris: Not with *that* much tea!
Chris: [to Robin] That's duct-tape! I shall teach you the magic of duct-tape, and how it sticks to everything.
Ash: Because nothing can possibly go wrong with this plan.
Ash: I do like not being hit by cars. I've made a hobby out of it.
Chris: I don't think it's a hobby. That implies you're not very good at it.
Ash: No no, you can be very talented at something and have it still be a hobby. I'm not professional, no one's paying me to not be hit by cars. I'm just an enthusiast.
Chris: We have acquired an awake baby.
Ash: What happens if we equip it?
Chris: You lose the use of one arm in combat.
Ash: Oh no! Does that mean it's cursed?
Chris: No, because you can unequip it at any time. And the sound of its crying frightens away enemies in combat.
Ash: [while carrying new mop home from the store] I feel like a wizard. [brandishes] YOU SHALL NOT PASS! ....UNTIL THIS FLOOR IS DRY!
Ash: Hush little baby, don't cry at all
Mama's gonna buy you a rubber ball
If that rubber ball won't bounce
Mama's gonna buy you a cat named Pounce
If that cat named Pounce runs off
Mama's gonna buy you a hat to doff
If that hat to doff goes flat
Mama's gonna buy you your own black bat
If that black bat flies away
Mama's gonna buy you some Oil of Olay
If that Oil of Olay goes squish
Mama's gonna buy you a giant fish
If that giant fish should drown
We'll fry it up and we'll feed the whole town.
Susan: Let's scare her by singing songs about being eaten by tropical animals!
Ash: I only give out two pieces of advice to other new parents. First, there's more than one way to do everything and everything is negotiable, no matter what anyone tells you. Second, except laundry. That's not negotiable. You gotta do laundry all the time. Or else you'll be naked and covered in puree. You'll be naked and covered in puree anyway, actually, but not quite as often.
Mom to Robin: Look, it's your mom! Say hi to your mom!
Robin: *blows a raspberry*
Ash: That's my girl.
Ash: [to self] No, Ash, do not buy trees.
Chris: Yeah, trees are easy to get. They grow on trees.
Ash: I'd really love to go back to sleep. If I bribe you with internet, can I do that?
Chris: Give her a chance to flour on her own.
Ash: What if she's a late bloomer?
Chris: It's a chance we'll crust have to take.
Ash: I like this bread bin. Except that I'm not sure how big it is.
Chris: *nearly dies while trying not to give the obvious answer*
Ash: I just have to love a man who sings the Super Mario Brothers' theme song while changing diapers.
Chris: [to Robin] Uh oh, we'd better move you before something silly happens.
Ash: Yeah, we wouldn't have the faintest idea how to cope with something silly.
Chris: [reading to Robin] Boy. Girl. Heteronormative gender roles. Ball. Sun. Note that the actual sun doesn't have spikes. Flower. Butterfly. You may remember this butterfly from such roles as "The Very Hungry Caterpillar."
Ash: Is it just me, or is our life here 50% better?
Chris: Just you. It's 100% better.
Chris: Did you get the door?
Ash, Yes, it's in the backpack. It was hard to squish it in, though.
Chris: But now no one can break into our house while we're gone! Because there's no door!
Ash: I kinda wish it worked like that.
Chris: [to Robin] You turned it off and then on again! And thus begins your career in tech support.
Ash: It was the toilet paper of Damocles.
Ash: [reads A Three Hat Day to Robin]
Chris: This is a weird book.
Ash: It's a book about finding true love through a hat that has a seal and bells on it!
Chris: Yes, that's sure to be applicable at least once in her life.
Ash: We need to think of a puntastic name for our Wii.
Chris: Ping Angel?
Ash: Huh?
Chris: Wii Ping Angel.
Ash: That's both beautiful and terrifying.
Chris: Like a Weeping Angel!
(other options considered were Lee Bin and L of Fortune, but Ping Angel won out)
Ash: Maybe we could save some money to hire a cleaner later. Though I'm sure your mum would wonder why we'd bothered when we could've asked her to do it. But if she did it I'd just feel guilty!
Chris: So you'd rather pay in sterling than guilt [gilt]?
Ash: I admit it. I married you for puns like that.
Ash: [playing Shining Force 2] Darn it, more desert. It exists just to piss off my centaurs.
Chris: Well, they can't always be the centaur of attention.
Ash: I will write that down, and then I will kill you.
[while watching Robin make an astonishing mess of sausage puree, and being gloomy about our future evening of cleaning it/her up]
Chris: How do you cope without being able to have a drink?
Ash: Chocolate and a sense of humor.
Ash: Are we buying food for a party or a siege?
Chris: I don't know anymore!
Ash: Nooooooooooooo, I don't want to be the mother of the next Jackson Pollock!!!
[while playing Ni No Kumi]
Ash: That thing looks like a cross between a Clanger and a banana.
[in choir, while considering a new piece]
Tanya: I don't think we have the brain power to bash through this one today.
Ash: All right, let's flail in its general direction instead.
Robin: [bites Ash's foot]
Ash: I am not food! ...darn it, you of all people aren't going to buy that argument!
Chris: [mournful] I must've really been in the composing zone yesterday. I abandoned an entire cup of tea.
Ash: ...uh, you do that a lot?
Chris: Not with *that* much tea!
Chris: [to Robin] That's duct-tape! I shall teach you the magic of duct-tape, and how it sticks to everything.
Ash: Because nothing can possibly go wrong with this plan.
Ash: I do like not being hit by cars. I've made a hobby out of it.
Chris: I don't think it's a hobby. That implies you're not very good at it.
Ash: No no, you can be very talented at something and have it still be a hobby. I'm not professional, no one's paying me to not be hit by cars. I'm just an enthusiast.
Chris: We have acquired an awake baby.
Ash: What happens if we equip it?
Chris: You lose the use of one arm in combat.
Ash: Oh no! Does that mean it's cursed?
Chris: No, because you can unequip it at any time. And the sound of its crying frightens away enemies in combat.
Ash: [while carrying new mop home from the store] I feel like a wizard. [brandishes] YOU SHALL NOT PASS! ....UNTIL THIS FLOOR IS DRY!