Overheard Lately: Puns, Robin mischief, and sausages
Ash: Currently making a poster for a book called "Latest trends in ELF research". I'm sure you can imagine where my mind went.
Ash: I've just said "Well pour milk on my head and have me for breakfast!" I think this needs to permanently enter the vernacular. It becomes even worse when you know that we were talking about being flaky.
Ash: Have just tried to explain to a student that stamps need to be licked in order to stick. She still doesn't believe me and is using a glue stick. /feeling old now
Ash: Today was brought to you by the letter K, the number 0, and the lesson "Being a grownup is bloody difficult sometimes."
Ash: There's a certain irony in a librarian who's lost her voice telling people to shush.
Chris, while cleaning: "Huh, unexpected squid."
Ash: Go back to sleep, kid. You should only wake up at six on a Saturday for cartoons.
Robin: [ponderously munching on pasta]
Chris: [walking in with a strainer full of peas]
Robin: [face lights up as thought the circus has just shown up on Christmas Day to escort her to Disneyland] BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Ash and Chris: [collapse in helpless laughter at the sight of such enthusiasm]
Robin: [doesn't understand why parents haven't yet given her the Food of the Gods]
Ash: Looks like she has another cold. If she gives me this one too, I'm going to cry.
Chris: It's okay, you already have one. It'll protect you. If the new one tries to invade, they'll fight it out.
Ash: I'm not sure viruses work the same way as demon possession in Buffy does.
Ash: I want to have a party where people make sock puppets!
Chris: You should let people join in online, too. Except then how will you know they're who they say they are--
Ash: Stop while you're ahead, sweetheart.
Ash: So Robin was messing around on her keyboard earlier, and started playing the first several notes of the Death March. We're kind of scared now.
Chris: I was trying to feed her houmous and it all went horribly wrong!!
Ash: I can't wait until she's old enough to play games.
Chris: She already plays games. They just don't involve set rules.
Ash: I can't wait until she's old enough to play games we have a chance of winning.
Chris: I keep misreading sew-ers as sewers.
Ash: That's because your mind is in the gutter.
Chris: ...all right, I asked for that one.
Chris: [to Robin] No, you can't go see the dog. The dog is gone. It's a doggone shame.
Ash: Argh!
Chris: Well, it is! It's the definition of a doggone shame!
Ash: Aaaaaargh.
Ash: Dear patron: No, I'm afraid that charging you overdue fees does not count as immoral capitalism. Nice try. Yours, the library assistant
Robin: [plays keyboard]
Chris: She's invented serialism!
Ash: She was probably inspired by her breakfast.
Chris: Ow.
Ash: You just wish you'd thought of it first.
Chris: ...yes.
Ash: [to internet] Sorry, book reviewer, but I can't take your opinion seriously if you can't spell Shakespeare's name correctly.
Chris: Well, neither could Shakespeare.
Ash: ...damn. That's me told.
Video Game Narrator: The smell of death is strong here...
Ash: Of course it is! You're in the Dead Bog!
Robin: *plays with Chris' phone*
Ash: You did turn that off before giving it to her, right?
Chris: ...no?
Ash: She's going to make an international phone call. And when she does, I will laugh.
Chris: *laughs this off*
[later]
Chris: Er. It looks like she called someone in France...
[turns out it was Chris' sister, who found this hilarious]
Ash: Where's her other shoe?
Chris: Here. Don't worry, the other shoe hasn't dropped.
Chris: Slugs are the Tesco Value version of snails.
Ash: Just realized that I have Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator" in my head, but with the lyric "Love in an Alligator" instead. Not sure what this says about me.
Ash: [babbling at Robin] You're going to have to let me leave the room eventually, kiddo, because I need to get dressed. It might look like I'm dressed, but I'm not really, because these are pajamas. I'm not really wearing clothes. ...*evil impulse* *whispers* They're wearing me!
Chris: .....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!
Masterchef: That venison needs to come alive!
Chris: No! No, it doesn't! It's not going to come alive! It is an ex-deer! No zombie venison!!
Dad: Flights delayed by weather, no one knows what's going on.
Ash: So everything is up in the air in that nothing is up in the air?
Ash: Aaaaaaaaaahh, I'm being stalked by a giant milkshake!!!
Ash to co-worker, talking about the weather: "I meant to run to the store after work, but I wonder if instead I should just go to the corner shop for milk--"
[thunder rumbles ominously from dark, dark skies]
Ash: "...and then hide."
Ash: Robin seems to have this incredible love of trying to push her dad over. Maybe we should skip Hansel and Gretel when the time comes for fairy tales.
Chris: [long rant about how the caption associated with an unimportant picture of a cute cat is factually inaccurate]
Ash: Yes, I understand that this post is wrong.
Chris: Good. It's important to know that things are wrong.
Ash: You must have such trouble with the internet
Chris: ........[pathetically] I do!
Ash: Insert XKCD quote here.
Robin: [piles stuffed animals and such all over Ash]
Chris: She's got you all dolled up!
Went to a session to learn how to make class resource lists. My fake list was An Introduction to Gibberish, with sections on Balderdash, Gobbledegook, and Fiddlefaddle. I'm not sure I should be allowed to do these things.
An introduction to the language of the Gibbers, with extensive dabbling in associated jibberjabber.
If you right click on a link and select 'Open in new tab', you will be able to alternate between tabs to ensure you are in the right place. Note that this only works for this resource list; if you are physically in the wrong location, i.e. dangling over an alligator pit, right-clicking will not help you.
Balderdash is a dialect used exclusively by the bald and the dashing. So, Patrick Stewart.
Contrary to popular belief, Gobbledegook is not spoken by turkeys.
Fyrie: I was wallpapering the hall and one of the strips fell on my head.
Chris: Did you say 'This is pasted on my head yay!'?
Robin: *pushes toys down a ramp*
Chris: *puts a sheep at the top* Quick! Ramming speed!
Robin: *stares at a small sliver of wardrobe mirror*
Ash: *slides the wardrobe door closed, turning small sliver into lots of mirror*
Robin: *is manifestly delighted*
Chris: It's a mirrorcle!
Ash: *contemplates divorce*
Ash: [happily playing Final Fantasy X]
Chris: Reach out, touch fayth!
Ash: [to a friend] Oh good, you are that Mark. I thought you were but there are something like ten Marks on my Facebook friends list and I'd gotten confused.
Chris: So you got good Marks out of ten?
Ash: Personally I'd be terrified to attend a George R. R. Martin book signing. Isn't he contractually obligated to kill one out of every one hundred fans or something?
Ash: Sausages are hard to take seriously.
Ash: So what should we nickname this one? Prelude? Prologue?
Chris: Preposition?
Ash: Participle?
[this goes on for a while]
Ash: You know this conversation is moot, right?
Chris: Why?
Ash: We have a Robin. That means that inevitably, whether we like it or not, this one is going to be Batman. Or Batbaby. Once it's in your head it's stuck there.
Chris: ...damn. You're right.
Ash: Unless it's twins, of course. Then I vote for Prefix and Suffix.
So yes, for those of you who stuck around until the end of the post: the twelve week ultrasound was this afternoon; Batbaby looks healthy so far, is energetic as hell, and is due in March. And now you know. =)