Fic: Rolling in the Deep [2/2]
Fic: Rolling in the Deep [2/2]
Genre: College AU
Side Pairing: Kamenashi Kazuya/Nishioka Tsuyoshi ;)
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 10K
Disclaimer: Standard RPF disclaimer applies. Neither do I claim expertise on the subject matter.
Summary: The first thing Jin tells his new room mate is that there's no crossing the line. Then he did.
A/N: Cut in two parts because LJ won't let me otherwise. I wrote this over the frustration of how Boys Do Fall In Love turned out. Also, I couldn't think of a title and I'm loving Adele. Hope you'll enjoy :)
Rolling in the Deep
Part 1
Part 2
He expected it. He actually thinks Yamapi took long enough following him outside the veranda where's he's crouched on the floor, leaning against the wall and trying to blow smoke rings.
“So...” Yamapi says, grinning and nodding towards where Kazuya and Ryo are probably still arguing over who will sweep the Japan series.
Jin side-eyes his best friend but doesn't say anything. He hasn't said anything and neither have his friends asked but Jin knows his friends have figured it out since he has spent less time hanging with them and that usually means only one thing.
“It's nothing man,” Jin says, uneasy.
“'Kay,” Yamapi says and Jin is glad Yamapi is dropping the subject.
They mostly don't meddle with each other's dating lives and he wants to keep it that way no matter that he has taken Kazuya to hang with them. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't even want to think about it.
“Like your new song, by the way,” Yamapi says.
“Yeah?” Jin asks, glad for the change of topic from him and Kazuya to his music, from the unsettling to the comforting. “Which one?”
“I dunno. The one about falling in love and discrimination? What's its title?”
Jin loses his smile. “'Wonder',” he hesitantly answers remembering how the inspiration for the song came one night a couple of weeks before while he surreptitiously watched Kazuya poring over a book, brows deeply furrowed.
He drinks his beer hoping it'll relieve the tightening in his chest. When it doesn't, Jin knows he has to do something about it.
“Hey,” he says when he has emptied his drink. He is aiming for nonchalance but his voice comes out somber when he says, “I'm thinking about moving in with you guys.”
♥
The atmosphere in the bleachers is vastly different at night when it's empty as much as the field is bare. It seems fitting, Jin thinks as he lights a cigarette. He hasn't taken a proper puff when the stick is snatched from him.
“Bully,” Jin says. “You aren't supposed to be smoking. You're off to baseball camp tomorrow.”
Kazuya merely shrugs and stays silent.
Jin knows Kazuya knows something is up. They had the excuse of studying for finals week but both knew there was something else behind the sudden distance between them. And when the school term was over and the distance is still there, there is no denying the inevitable. Jin doesn't expect Kazuya to break the silence. The decision is his and the burden lies on him.
He takes a deep breath, knowing there's no point in delaying. “I won't be around when you come back,” he finally says. He pauses and he almost smiles when he gets no reaction because he expected that.
“I figured it's lame that I'll be staying in a dorm in my last year. Well, I'd need to get a job - two jobs probably - to pay for my share but well...I might as well 'cause I'd eventually need to get a job anyway, you know.”
Kazuya briefly glances at him then snorts.
Jin feels the familiar knot in his guts. He remembers feeling the same months ago one stormy Sunday afternoon. This time though, the guilt aches. “It's not...I didn't...” he stammers, scrambling for words, but he stops.
It is what he wants. No drama, no accusations, just a clean break.
He watches in silence as Kazuya takes another drag, long and deep like he's trying to consume the rest of the cigarette at one go. Kazuya holds his breath a couple of seconds and, when as if at last he has had his fill, he exhales. The smoke billows and they both watch as it dissipates in the dark.
“Don't worry about it, Jin," Kazuya finally says. "You were curious and it got over your head and I encouraged you. But at the end of the day, you are who you are and there's no denying it. Shit like this happens all the time.” He returns the stick and smiles then raises a fist.
Jin knocks fists with Kazuya even when he's wracked with guilt and something else that feels like he's dying.
“We're good, 'kay?” Kazuya says and he gets up and leave.
Jin sits by the bench, not even watching Kazuya's retreating back because he's thinking he'd rather the fist landed on his face because that pain would have been better than the void in his guts that's consuming him.
♥
“Kazuya, I don't...,” Tsuyoshi said, looking completely confused.
No matter how many times Kazuya had prepared for that moment, how many times he had told himself to expect the worst, he could not quell that blind hope inside him that Tsuyoshi might feel the same for him.
Not even when there is no mistaking that, under the bright sunny afternoon sky, Tsuyoshi's face had gone ashen.
Not even when Tsuyoshi wordlessly walked away.
Not even when Tsuyoshi said, “Sorry,” before disappearing behind the door.
It was when the sun the had started to set and the door remained closed that Kazuya knew for certain there wasn't going to be a happy ending on that rooftop that afternoon. Possibly anywhere and any day.
♥
With his last year in the university proving to be more exacting and struggling with two jobs, Jin usually simply collapses on the couch. But that night he knows sleep won't come easy.
He plops down the couch, turns on the television and opens a bottle of Soju.
“Hey,” Yamapi says, coming out of the bedroom. He sits on the couch's armrest and remarks, “How apt,” when he sees a re-run of Walking Dead playing on TV.
“Don't,” Jin threatens, refusing to take the bait as he has done in the last three months. He figures that if he doesn't talk about, he'll eventually stop thinking about it.
“At some point, Akanishi, this must stop.”
“Why?” Jin asks and he takes a drink straight from the bottle.
“One, I hate that we can't drink beer anymore for some warped reason.”
Jin doesn't particularly like Soju but the smell of beer reminds of him of that night when it was so overwhelmingly good that it was frightening.
“And two," Yamapi continues, oblivious to Jin's turmoil, "Ryo and I hate that we now hang by the tennis court. It's pain in the neck.”
Jin would have laughed at Yamapi's attempt to make light the situation but he can't find mirth in his heart. He empties the bottle and his world instantly spins. “I saw him,” he says.
He was about to step out of the store back room earlier that evening when the door opens and he saw several members of the baseball team walk in. His heart jumped and he stepped back, hiding behind the door frame. His guts twisted when he heard the familiar nasal voice, exchanging banters.
He tried not to but it had been months since he last saw him and he couldn't fight the overpowering pull to get a glimpse.
Kazuya's face was flushed and he wobbled towards the counter. When asked what else he would have, he broke into a wide smile, said “lube” and blew an air kiss at Jin's co-worker.
Jin knew Kazuya was just taunting as usual but his guts twisted in tight coils nonetheless. The way it is twisting that moment as he sits there with his head against the backrest, eyes closed. He calls forth the line he has been repeating over and over in the last few months but it doesn't work this time. Instead he feels vomit rising up his throat.
He takes successive deep breaths, shaky in his chest before he opens his eyes. There's a dead weight in his guts when he says, “I'm not gay, Pi.”
He doesn't know what response he expects. Or wants. But he looks at his friend, beseeching for words that will stop the bile defiantly surging within him.
There's a long pause before Yamapi says, “Well, I don't see why we need to jump to conclusions at this point." Smiling, he adds, "I just don't want you dying on this couch. I really like this couch."
Yamapi's words have yet to sink in when Ryo stomps out of the bedroom. He shoves Jin aside and sits in the middle of the couch.
“This shit ends here now,” Ryo snaps. He takes the remote control and switches the channel to a baseball game. He glares at Jin, daring him to protest.
Jin doesn't. He throws up instead.
♥
Kazuya spent the week he turned 17 in the hospital. He had been throwing up everything he ate that his parents got so worried the way they did those years before he started school and was sickly.
The doctor said it must just be stress because they couldn't find anything wrong. Kazuya knew differently though. Everything was wrong.
“Kazuya, I'm not holding you on your promise to be a professional baseball player. If it's too much for you, you can quit,” his father said. “You can be anything and it's okay. You can be a bum and I'd still be proud of you.” He paused for a beat then added, “Well, maybe not proud, but I'd still love you.”
Kazuya wanted to laugh at the way his father always acted silly when worried but he kept quiet. His throat ached from words he couldn't say.
♥
“What the hell's wrong with you?” Ryo snaps. “Get yourself together. He's gonna bat.”
“I really don't want to be here,” Jin says. He's almost lying flat on his back like he's sunbathing fully clothed on the bleachers.
It has taken a few more weeks before he let himself be dragged back there.
He squeezes his eyes shut, takes a deep breath and exhales a curse. He takes another deep breath before he manages to sit up and gaze out on the field. When his sights lands on Kazuya standing on the batter's box, he feels like he will implode.
Parched for the sight of him, Jin takes in every move Kazuya makes - planting his feet firmly on the ground, cricking his neck then swinging his hips as he practices swinging the bat. Jin almost smiles when he sees the familiar smirk when Kazuya only manages to nick the ball.
Yamapi clucks. “His problem is that he's got the same stance batting as pitching. That just don't work.”
Jin is quiet, eyes still glued on Kazuya who misses the second pitch and there's no mistaking the curse he mutters with the way his lips moved.
“Kazuya sure has a temper,” Ryo remarks.
“Short people. Short temper,” Yamapi says and grins when Ryo waves a fist at him.
Jin wishes he can hear what the coach is telling Kazuya because Kazuya keeps nodding, head bowed like a child being scolded. He holds his breath when Kazuya returns to the box again. He manages to hit the ball this time but he freezes for a fraction of a second, like he doesn't know what happened, before he runs then slides on first base.
“He's not all that hot with the bat,” Yamapi says, hell bent on dissecting Kazuya's play.
“He's obviously no three tool player,” Ryo joins in.
Kazuya picks himself up and dusts his jersey. Jin doesn't take his eyes off him, noting the sloping down of Kazuya's broad shoulders and how, while the next batter takes his place, Kazuya is just standing there seemingly unaware and staring at a spot somewhere near his foot.
“It's just sad, you know,” Yamapi says. “Kazuya's trying so hard but it's obvious he won't make professional.”
“Yeah,” Ryo agrees.
There's a crisp thwack when the ball hits the bat and everyone watched with bated breath as the ball flies in a beautiful arch up against the clear sky. The crowd jumps up and roars when the ball lands just beyond where Jin and his friends are sitting.
Jin doesn't witness any of it. His eyes never left the field and, despite the distance, he knows Kazuya has seen him and is staring right at him. Time stopped for him that brief second they lock eyes. Before Kazuya jolts from his momentary stupor and starts running.
“But I guess it doesn't matter to him how it'll turn out,” Yamapi says as Kazuya runs past second base. “He's gonna enjoy the game as long as he can.”
“Yeah, he loves baseball,” Ryo drawls. “That's how it is when you love something.”
Jin's heart fills to the brim when Kazuya runs past third base and goes for home run. He smiles. “Will you two fucking quit the running commentary,” he finally says to his friends. “I get it.”
♥
Kazuya would like to think Tsuyoshi wasn't behind it but it didn't matter anyway.
No one said a word but he figured it out when he went to take a shower after baseball practice and most of his teammates went frantic covering themselves and getting out of the common shower room.
He had learned to numb himself since then, ignoring the whispers and the leers but, at some point, it had to burst. It did that afternoon. An otherwise nice schoolmate made a blow job gesture as he passed by the corridor and the other boys around laughed. Kazuya just snapped. He wasn't even aware he had thrown a punch.
He had been rolling in the deep for years, drowning in darkness that he was without thought as he hit and kicked as much as he got hit and kicked. He didn't care. He just wanted to kill or to die.
He didn't know if he should be relieved or not that he survived but as soon as he got home he went straight to his room. He relished in the physical pain as his whole body ached and is grateful for the solitude. Until the door flung open and Koji stood by the threshold looking murderous.
“What now?” he wearily asked but he knew why. There were fire in Koji's eyes.
Koji grunted. “You look like shit.”
Kazuya didn't bother with a retort. His brother looked annoyed and pissed the way he always did when their parents asked him to drive Kazuya to baseball practice. “Koji, I'm really...”
Koji interrupted with a loud cluck. “You're a Kamenashi,” he said. “We Kamenashis don't take fucking shit from anyone. Remember that.”
Kazuya stared at his brother, watched as Koji's eyes mellowed soft and, for a moment, Kazuya feared Koji might cry. He feared he might cry but he took a deep breath instead. “Yeah,” he said, voice hoarse. “I know.”
They were both relieved when Yuya appeared, looked from one older brother to another and, frowning, asked, "What's going on?"
"Shut up!" Koji snapped and turned to leave.
"Go away!" Kazuya said when Yuya turned to him, confused. An unexpected smile tugged at his lips when Yuya scowled and muttered something about big brothers and shuffled away.
♥
He's gone mad, Jin thinks as he stands inside the baseball team locker room, the proverbial lion's den.
“Isn't he one our groupies?”
“Yeah. He's one of those baseball Anns who always hangs by the bleachers.”
“I'm not...We're not...” Jin decides it's not a good time to protest when he's standing in front of two of Kazuya's teammates big enough to crush him and stash him inside one of the lockers. He clears his throat instead. “I'm Jin. Akanishi Jin. I'm looking for ...”
Jin almost jumps off his skin when locker doors start banging. He goes cold and steps back when other players starts stepping from behind their lockers, most with barely a towel covering them.
“He's who?” one player asks.
“A-ka-nishi. Jin.”
Jin cringes at the way his name was uttered. It doesn't help that the guy who said his name looked like he shreds human flesh for breakfast.
“Kamenashi's former roommate,” another player provides.
The collective “oh” that followed sends shivers up Jin's spine. He's just about to bolt out or faint when Kazuya emerges from the midst of his teammates. “Kazuya,” he squeaks.
“What are you doing here?” Kazuya asks.
“I was just...” Jin says, pointing his finger at nothing in particular but Kazuya's hair is still dripping and his button down shirt still half undone and everything else recedes. “How are you?”
Someone scoffs and one other player says, “Just say it, Kamenashi. We'll take care of him.”
Kazuya clucks and turns to look at his teammates with a scowl like he isn't the smallest guy in the room. “I can take care of myself,” he says.
Lugging his duffel bag uncharacteristically messily stuffed with his uniform, Kazuya grabs Jin's hand and leads Jin out.
Jin allows himself to be dragged away, with no thought in his mind except that Kazuya's hand is small and calloused and fleshy and he misses it a lot. He's about to squeeze it tight when he gets slammed against the wall.
“Aw,” he says, rubbing the back of his head.
Déjà vu, Jin thinks and he almost closes his eyes, waiting for a kiss but Kazuya's fisting his shirt and there's rage in his eyes. “What the hell do you think you're doing?”
“I just...” Jin starts but three of Kazuya's teammates appear.
“Everything okay here?” one asks.
“Go away,” Kazuya snaps.
None of them moves though and all of them stare down Jin.
“You break his heart again, Akanishi and we break your face,” one of them says and the two other grunts in agreement. They give Jin a once over, collectively snort before walking away.
“What was...” Jin starts but he trails off. Kazuya's scowling at something on the floor, mouth pressed in a thin line but blushing deep crimson. Jin's heart floats.
♥
It's almost summer but Jin feels chill seep through his bones. He glances to his left. It's probably more because Kazuya's sitting there beside him and that neither of them has uttered a word since they sat down some five minutes ago.
“I'm working, you know,” Jin starts when he's had enough of the silence. “At the printing press and a convenience store. Gotta earn my share for the rent.”
Kazuya's still silent, watching his outstretched legs, one shod foot scuffing an imaginary dirt on the other.
“So. How are you?”
Kazuya shrugs. “Still staying at the dorm,” he blandly answers. “Got a new roommate.” Jin fears Kazuya's trying to hint at something but Kazuya turns towards him, say, “I seem to attract annoying roommates. He beatboxes,” and he smiles.
Jin bites the side of his lower lip to keep at bay the urge to kiss the smile. “You're not dating him, are you?”
Kazuya scoffs. “'Roommates' are now up there with 'teammates' on my Not To Do list.”
Jin knows Kazuya doesn't mean anything by it but the joke stings and he doesn't laugh.
“I didn't mean...” Kazuya starts, apologetic, but Jin cuts him off.
“I miss you.”
Kazuya's jaws goes tight before he jumps up on his feet. “I gotta go.”
“No. Wait,” Jin says and grabs Kazuya's hand. “Don't leave. I'm sorry,” he says, not minding that he sounds desperate. He is desperate.
“I told you it's okay, Jin. Let's just not do this again.”
Jin watches Kazuya all rigid and tense. “It's not okay.,” Jin says. “I'm not okay. And neither are you judging from the way your teammates almost chewed my head off.”
Kazuya grunts and looks away. Jin clucks as he takes a deep breath, irked at Kazuya's obstinacy. “Will you sit down, Kamenashi!”
They are both surprised that he snapped at Kazuya. “Please, Kazuya,” Jin says when Kazuya doesn't move.
He's not beyond pleading. He still hasn't come to grips with it. He still can't wrap his head around it but, as his friends said, it has got to stop. And Kazuya's the only one who can reel him away from the dark torment.
He's relieved when Kazuya sits back down albeit grudgingly. “I'm sorry about...I was just scared.” Jin takes a deep breath. “I still am but I'm...”
“Don't expect me take shit from you,” Kazuya says.
“I don't expect you to,” Jin says in all honesty. There's nothing in their short history that would make him think he could get away with treating Kazuya with anything less than respect. “I just hope you'd cut me some slack,” he says.
Kazuya laughs, dry and humorless. “You want me to wait around until you made up your mind?”
“No,” Jin says, getting a little irked. “I like you. I like you a lot. I think I even more than like you and you feel the same...” He pauses and waits but Kazuya merely arches a brow but it's enough to fill his heart to brim. “I was thinking maybe, we can just try and see where it goes,” he says.
Kazuya doesn't answer and Jin watches him gaze out as if he's seeking answer from the hues of orange and purple in sky.
“You think maybe you're cool with that?” Jin hopefully asks when he can no longer stand the silence.
Jin doesn't know why. Maybe because he has used that line at certain poignant moments in the past that Kazuya found it funny. He skews his mouth, apparently trying to fight it but he bursts laughing eventually.
That Kazuya's laughing, full-hearted and throaty, makes Jin laugh himself.
♥
“So, you're ready?”
“Yeah,” Kazuya said, amused that his father still seemed to find it difficult despite having previously sent two other sons to college.
“Don't let anyone bully you, okay?”
Kazuya snorted. “Why would anyone bully me? And I can take care of myself.”
“I know that,” Mr. Kamenashi said. “I know you're perfectly capable. It's just some people can be stupid sometimes when they don't understand things and they become mean.”
Kazuya frowned at his father, wondered if he should read more into what his father was saying but decided his mother must have put up his father for the pep talk. “I'm okay, Dad. I'm gonna be fine.”
His father placed a hand on his arm.
“Kazuya,” Mr. Kamenashi said, voice somber. “You just be yourself. You're perfect as you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, do you understand?”
Kazuya's hand froze on the seat belt clasp and his heart started hammering in his chest. The familiar turning in his guts was back. He studied his father's anxious face, wondering how much the old man knows about him.
“I'm okay, Dad,” he said again, less flippant and more assuring. Hoping to ease the worried lines on his father's forehead, he added, “I'm a big boy now.”
His father broke into a wide smile. “Yeah, you are,” he said and eased on his seat. “Not as big as your brothers but no less menacing.”
They both laughed and the atmosphere in the car eased.
“You know you can tell me anything,” his father said then he frowned, considering. “Well, not really everything...but well, important things. ”
There's no doubt, his father knows about him. He wondered who he owed, Yuichiro or his mother. Possibly Koji. Definitely not Yuya. He bit his lower lip, briefly considered how far he could go then decided it was the best time to test. “So it's okay for you to meet my boyfriend?”
His father's eyes went wide for a second like they would pop out but he quickly recovered. “Well, you know...I...yeah but...” He paused. “You have a...?”
Kazuya laughed out loud once again, his heart filled to the brim with love for his father. “I was just kidding.” He freed himself from the seatbelt, leaned over and hugged his father, the same as he did when his father first took him to watch a major league baseball game when he was six. “Thanks, Dad.”
♥
“Do you play sports?” Mr. Kamenashi asked.
“I-I used to play football in, ahm, high school,” Jin stammers.
There is a collective snorting around him and someone muttering “lame” somewhere.
Mrs. Kamenashi clucks and everyone pipes down. “You're working now?”
Jin smiles at her grateful for steering the conversation away from sports. He enviously gazes at the chicken on the table because at least it was already dead when roasted.
“Kazuya said you're a musician,” Mr. Kamenashi interjects spitting out the word “musician” like it's a dirty word. “And that you work in a club.”
Jin gives a single nod, throws a furtive look at Kazuya across the table from him but Kazuya is busy inspecting his plate. “I have a day job, sir,” Jin says while thinking Kazuya's going to pay later. “I work in a publishing house.”
“He's got a degree in English,” Mrs. Kamenashi tells her husband. Her smile doesn't falter, only her eyes narrowed very slightly at her husband.
“Are you going to America?” Koji asks. Before Jin can answer, Koji adds, “They allow gay marriages there, right?”
“Koji!” Mr. Kamenashi reprimands, looking sharply at his second son. Koji clams up, feigns innocence but his smile is taunting. Mr. Kamenashi turns his sharp eyes at Jin.
Jin withers in his seat. Kazuya's still inspecting his plate, smile playing on his lips.
“Not in all states,” Yuichiro says, matter-of fact. “In New York, I think. But hey you can go to Montreal. I heard that's a real nice place.”
Yuya, who all along has been silent, asks, “Who's getting married?”
“No one!” is Mr. Kamenashi's quick reply and he eyes Jin sharply again.
“At least not yet,” Mrs. Kamenashi says, smiling. She very subtly raises a brow at her husband. “Right, honey?”
Mr. Kamenashi grumbles and resumes eating.
Jin smiles gratefully at the only woman in a house, possibly the biggest bully in the family.
Kazuya's finally done inspecting his plate and from across the table and mouths at Jin, “Sorry,” but he doesn't look he is with the smile wide on his face.
“You owe me,” Jin mouths back.
♥
“My dad's always been overprotective of me. Me being the only gay in the family.”
While Jin's amused at Kazuya's lame joke to console him after being subjected to the most excruciating Sunday dinner in his life, he doesn't think Kazuya's father is an appropriate topic at the moment. “Let's not...” he says and hisses.
“Okay,” Kazuya says and relaxes against the bed. After a moment, he asks, “Aren't you gonna move?”
“Just...” Jin says, his voice tight as tries to get blood back in his brain because all that baseball work out made Kazuya too darn tight. He squeezes his eyes shut and when he opens them, his gaze lands on the poster on the wall. He starts to move but it's unwieldy to turn their conjoined bodies 180 degrees on the narrow bed.
“What the hell...” Kazuya exclaims, grabbing the edge of the bed.
“I swear, Kazuya, I'll burn that fucking poster...” Jin starts but he stops because Kazuya clamps both legs high up behind his back.
“You think I'd be thinking about someone else when I can feel you up to my throat?” Kazuya snaps then adds, “It's a figure of speech. Don't look smug.”
Jin still feels smug anyway because the baseball team's hotshot shortstop and future hotshot sportscaster quivers beneath him and grunts “yes” when he pushes in some more.
“Yeah?” Jin mumbles on Kazuya's mouth and he probes his tongue in, wallows in the flavor of Kazuya's mouth beneath the taste of toothpaste mint and roasted chicken.
Kazuya moans and arches up as Jin kisses down the side of his neck, nibbles on the soft skin under his jaw.
Wriggling and shifting his hips, Jin murmurs, “Here?”.
Kazuya grunts “no” and Jin's knocked off the moment. He tries to get back to it, pulls out a little, shifts and pushes back in but Kazuya says, “No. Not there either,” then clucks and adds, “You're a terrible pitcher.”
“You're a snarky catcher. Shut up,” Jin snaps back because it's equally frustrating for him that Kazuya's lying beneath him, contracting unbelievably controlled sphincter muscles that's squeezing him hard and making him cross-eyed but he can't give in yet.
He tries to recite the alphabet backwards in his head as he keeps shifting just so he won't come but he almost does when Kazuya exclaims. “Oh! Yes! There!”
Despite his state, Jin seizes the moment and twines their fingers together, restraining both Kazuya's hand against the bed. “Good, huh?” he says, moving his hips slow and smooth.
“Jin...”
Jin can't help grinning. It's one of the rare chances he can bully Kazuya, when Kazuya's so far gone and hasn't had the usual strength to overpower him. He keeps the pace slow even when the vein on the side of Kazuya's neck is as strained as the one on Kazuya's cock.
“Jin...!” Kazuya tries to free his hands from Jin.
Jin leans down, licks Kazuya's ears and whispers, “Say it,”
“I swear to god...” Kazuya starts but he groans because Jin keeps hitting the spot.
“Would it kill you to say it?” Jin asks. Passion and anger flits in Kazuya eyes. “Just say it. Please.”
Kazuya swallows hard and tries to stop his eyes from fluttering. Heaving, he spits out, “Iloveyou,” then quickly adds, “Shit. Can you please...!”
Jin's next to mindless as he fights against the burgeoning need to explode but he manages to utter, “Say it like you mean it.”
“I swear to god I'm gonna...” Kazuya yells but Jin captures his mouth.
“Keep it down or the whole dorm will hear,” Jin says, not losing his rhythm.
But Kazuya is beyond caring. “Oh god, Jin, please...”
Jin nibbles on the the bruised lower lip while his hips ceaselessly thrusts. “Kazuya...”
“I'm madly crazy in love with you,” Kazuya finally says, voice tight.
The words course through Jin's veins and settles warm in his heart.
He finally lets go of Kazuya's left hand and they both wrapped their freed hand around Kazuya's hard on. Jin relishes the way Kazuya's cock throbs in their palms as they pump together, the way Kazuya's hard sinewy body writhes beneath him and the way Kazuya sucks his tongue and gasps in his mouth all at the same time.
“There's something I have to tell you,” Jin says, long after their orgasms have simmered down. He gets a grunt in response and knows Kazuya's on the verge of falling asleep. “We've been together for two years and I owe you the truth.” He feels the broad shoulders straighten a bit and Jin knows he's got Kazuya's attention.
He rolls back to lie on his back and he almost smiles when Kazuya rolls with him and ends lying on top of him. He sneaks a sideways glance at Kazuya.
“What?” Kazuya asks when Jin stays silent.
Jin stares at Kazuya, knows behind the blank facade, there's apprehension. He takes a deep breath, purposely delaying and enjoying the way Kazuya's eyes start to narrow. “I think I'm gay,” Jin says and he smiles.
There's a brief moment of silence then Kazuya says, "I'm cool with that" and they start laughing.
THE END