Fic: Not a girl (Chapter 4)
Title: Not a girl
Rating: PG-14
Genre: Humor, romance
Word count: about 13,000 (total), 2,271 (Chapter 4)
Disclaimer: I only own the plot.
Summary: Kazuya Kamenashi feels the strain of being a JE idol. He thinks girls have life easy. That was until he wakes up with girl parts.
A/N: Birthday wishes coming true was a plot of the Jim Carrey movie “Liar, Liar.” Technically, it's not mpreg because as Junno would later point out: “Technically, you're not a man. You would not be pregnant if you are. And since you are then...”
Chapter 4
Jin huffed and puffed as he paced back and forth. He had been at this routine for a whole 15 minutes and he still has not mustered enough courage to ring the doorbell. “Goddamn Koki!” he muttered to himself. He was on his way to Kazuya's when Koki called. “Goddamn... ”
“Jin?”
Jin swirled around too quickly he got a little dizzy and had to hold on to the wall to steady himself. “Kazuya...what are you doing here?” he asked.
“I live here,” Kazuya said. He thought he heard a voice outside his door and went to see only to find a pacing and cursing Jin outside. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Jin did not answer. He did not even seem to have heard Kazuya. He just stared at the younger man who was sporting a much shorter, much darker hair. He definitely isn't fat but he is far from the anorexic boy he once was, Jin thought. And his face is a little rounder. His cheeks are no longer hollowed, in fact, they were puffier than usual. Jin was so amused at this that he almost poked a finger on Kazuya's left cheek.
Kazuya watched as Jin lifted a finger in front of his face but kept the finger suspended in air. “Are you okay, Jin? Do you wanna come in?” asked Kazuya.
Jin followed Kazuya inside the latter's apartment. As he toed off his shoes, he tilted his head and surreptitiously tried to peek at Kazuya's belly. It did not go unnoticed with Kazuya. He, too, tilted his head and looked at Jin's face, extremely puzzled at the other's actions.
Kazuya eyed him warily for a couple of seconds. “I'll make you tea. Koki went out for a while. I asked him to buy ika fry and chocolate ice cream.”
Jin sat on the stool by the kitchen counter while Kazuya proceeded to make tea. No word was exchanged between them until Kazuya set a cup of steaming tea on the counter.
“Hope you don't mind gyoza,” Kazuya said then saw and realized he had eaten half of the gyoza he had fried earlier. “I'll just fry more,” he said and opened his refrigerator.
“OHMYGOD!” Jin exclaimed when his saw the refrigerator's content. Koki was telling the truth.
Kazuya was stunned for while then he was offended when he saw what Jin was reacting to. “What is wrong with gyoza?”
Instead of answering, Jin asked, “How long have you been a girl?”
Kazuya was totally caught unaware with the question. “What?”
“How long have you been a girl?” Jin repeated.
“I am not a girl!” Kazuya indignantly exclaimed.
Jin paused. “Okay,” he said. Then after thinking for several seconds, asked “How long have you had a vagina instead of a penis?”
Kazuya's mouth opened then closed then opened again. He wanted to protest but Jin's question, objectively speaking, was valid. So he calmed himself and made a mental calculation: it was the day after his birthday that was February. And it was already August. “Seven months. Why?”
Again, Jin did not answer and instead asked, “When did you last have your monthly period?”
Kazuya was puzzled at Jin's line of questioning but he made a mental calculation again. “It was a week after so...end of February or first week of March. Why?”
“You never had it again?”
“No,” Kazuya answered, getting impatient at Jin's queries. “I told Koki it was just a fluke.”
Jin remained silent. It was his turn to mentally calculate. The not-so-drunken incident happened around the third or fourth week of March.
Kazuya watched Jin. Then a knot started forming in his stomach. No way is Jin thinking... He immediately stopped his mind to wander where Jin's presumably did. “It...It was a fluke. I mean, you know, I'm really not a girl and uhm...” he stammered and Jin just stared back at him, the expression in his eyes meaningful.
“Just because...” Kazuya started to say but trailed off. The horrifying thought was dawning in on him and he was desperately trying hard to push it away. Kazuya closed his eyes shut.
“Kazuya...maybe you should...”
“No!” Kazuya shouted, eyes suddenly opening wide. “I'm okay. Nothing's wrong with me.” But his chest suddenly felt tight and he found it hard to breathe.
Jin got off the stool and went around the counter beside Kazuya. “Kazu...” Before he could even finish, Kazuya crumpled in his arms.
***********
“Maybe we should try again...” Jin suggested.
“No way am I going to buy more pregnancy kits,” Koki protested. “If word gets around that I bought a dozen, Johnny will castrate me.”
“C'mon, Koki. We have to be sure,” Jin pleaded.
“No,” Koki asserted. “Can you imagine what the hell I go through having to buy tampons and now pregnancy kits?”
“Don't gripe about having to buy girl stuff,” exclaimed Jin. “Imagine what I'm going through! I'm going to be a father! I'm not ready to be a father!”
Two pillows flew across the room, hitting Jin and Koki on their heads. “Can you two possibly quit being so self-fucking-centered! I am fucking pregnant!” Kazuya shouted. He was sprawled on his bed littered with several used pregnancy kits; the others were strewn on the bedside table and on the floor - all indicating positive.
Jin sat at the foot of the bed, nervously chewing on his thumbnail. Koki was pacing back and forth. None said anything for a while.
“I should get rid of it,” Kazuya softly mumbled. He had no idea how. What he knows is that should the press get hold of it, the headline would read: “JE Idol Grows Ovaries, Commits Infanticide!” Kazuya shook the thought out of his head. “How does one...?”
“NO!” Jin protested.
“Why not?” asked Kazuya.
Jin grew thoughtful but instead of saying out loud why he really did not want Kazuya to have an abortion, said instead, “You’re too far off. You are at least five months pregnant. It would be dangerous.”
Koki gawked at Jin. “You know this for sure?” Jin nodded. “Really, it creeps me out how you know all these things.”
“I'm not as baka as you think I am,” Jin proudly said.
Kazuya was suddenly pissed at Jin. “Well, if you were so smart, you should have known you could get me pregnant by doing it unprotected even just once!” seethed Kazuya. “What do I do now?”
Jin, dumbfounded, remained quiet.
Koki cleared his throat. “I think the first thing we should do is let the rest of KAT-TUN in on it.”
♡♡♡♡♡
“What do you mean it was an accident?” Tatsuya Ueda asked. “You fell on Kazuya when you two happen to be naked, your penis slipped inside Kazuya's newly acquired vagina and you ejaculated before you could pull it out? That kind of accident?” Ueda's tone was mocking. Jin and Kazuya flushed deep red.
“Eewww!” Junnosuke Taguchi exclaimed and covered his ears with his hands. “Too much detail! Gross!”
“And anyway, since when have you two been back together?” Ueda asked.
“You knew, too?” Koki asked, pouting.
“Told you everybody knew,” Maru said.
“We haven't gotten back together. It only happened once,” Jin tried to explain. Kazuya flinched whether at the first or second point, he was not sure.
Junno excitedly turned to Jin. “You got Kame pregnant by doing him just once?” he asked. Jin nodded, a proud smile suddenly appearing on his face. “Way to go, Jin!” And the two high-fived.
At that, Kazuya loudly stomped on his feet as he stood up. “Focus people! The issue at hand is that I AM PREGNANT! Not Jin and I getting back together...or not... or Jin getting me pregnant at one shot.” Kazuya glared at Junno and Jin. “It's about me - JE idol, your band mate, vocalist, leader and most of all, a man - is five months pregnant!”
The rest of his band mates fell silent. Kazuya suddenly felt very tired and slumped on his couch, leaning on Maru. Maru gently pushed down Kazuya's head on his shoulder and tenderly brushed his youngest band mate's hair with his fingers. He abruptly stopped when he saw Jin glowering at him.
Junno was first to break the silence. “Technically, you're not a man. You would not be pregnant if you are. And since you are then...”
“I am not a girl!” yelled Kazuya that immediately silenced Junno.
“Maybe you can go on hiatus. Go to LA,” Ueda suggested. “You could say you want to study a language.” Jin glared at him, noting the obvious gibe.
“Yeah...baby talk,” Junno joked, which only he found funny.
“No!” Jin protested. Everyone looked at him. “It's...it's lonely there...” Jin took a deep breath recalling the loneliest six months of his life.
“Yeah, lonely is not good for a pregnant Kame,” said Maru and was about to stroke Kazuya's hair once again but he was immediately yanked off the couch by Jin.
“I can't go on leave...” Kazuya said. “That would be more suspicious.” He shifted and leaned on Koki, seated at his left. Jin frowned.
“You can't possibly go on performing with your tummy bulging and all,” said Junno. That prompted everyone to stop and imagine Kazuya dancing with a protruding belly. “No, that cannot work,” Junno concluded as he tried to stifle his chuckling.
Jin pulled Kazuya to sit up straight. “You know, there are some pregnancies that go unnoticed until the ninth month. Heck, some girls even manage to hide their pregnancy until they give birth,” he said.
“Again, Akanishi, your knowledge of the female reproductive functions and quirks amazes me,” said Koki.
Jin ignored him and added, “With our help, you can pull it off.”
Ueda had been thinking. “That can work,” he said. “We do wear layers and layers of ridiculous clothes. And by the time your on your ninth month, it will be winter.”
“Yeah,” Koki seconded. “You finally get to wear all the coats you bought and haven't used!”
Like little boys about to pull the prank of their lives, everyone was suddenly excited. Except Kazuya because he knew hiding the pregnancy is one thing, giving birth and having a child is another.
♡♡♡♡♡
For the next months, AT-TUN fussed on Kazuya. They all buy him food and try to feed him every half hour. A towel, a bottle of water or a chair is always at hand. Most of all, they all let him have his way and no one argues. If anyone complains, usually Jin, the rest would always take Kazuya's side. And breaks during rehearsals were taken more often; at this, no one, especially Jin, complained.
On one hand, Kazuya enjoyed being treated like a princess. On the other hand, he hated being treated like he is incapable. He's just pregnant, after all. He still has full use of his limbs. But most of all, it made him feel guilty that his band mates go through so much trouble for him.
Like when they had to travel outside Tokyo for a performance. Ordinarily, they'd cram inside a van driven by a staff. But that time, they did not trust anyone who does not know Kazuya's condition could drive carefully enough to keep Kazuya safe. So Junno drove his own car and took Maru with him. Kazuya rode with Koki and Ueda was designated as the alternate driver. Jin insisted on riding at the back with Kazuya, he claimed so as to attend to all Kazuya's needs. Most of the time though he just slept leaning on Kazuya.
Kazuya pulled on Jin's sleeves, waking the other awake. “Jin, I need to pee,” Kazuya whispered.
“What?” asked the still dazed Jin.
“I need to pee.”
“You just peed at the last stop...and that was not an hour ago.”
Kazuya was slighted and scowled. “Well I need to pee again.”
Jin sighed. “Koki, pull over. Kazuya needs to pee...again.”
Koki immediately hit the brakes, causing everyone to lurch forward. “Careful, will 'ya? There's a pregnant guy in the car!” Jin scolded. Then he turned to Kazuya. “You okay?” Kazuya nodded. “Okay, go and pee.”
Kazuya looked around outside the car and saw vast tracks of meadow on both sides of the road. “Where?”
Jin gestured towards the meadows. “Don't be such a prude. And don't tell me you haven't peed on the road?” Kazuya's eyes narrowed at him.
Ueda hit Jin on his head. “Baka! Kazuya takes a leak differently now.”
“Oh yeah...sorry...I forgot,” muttered Jin.
At which, Koki immediately started the car and zoomed off. “Looking for pit stop now!” he shouted as he accelerated the car in driving frenzy.
“He needs to pee. He is not going into labor!” Ueda yelled at the guy beside him as he clutched on his seat.
“Koki, slow down, my chest hurts,” Kazuya complained as he folded his arms in front of his chest.
Jin quickly turned towards the younger man. “Are you okay? Can you breathe?”
“'Course, I can breathe. It just feels heavy.”
“That's 'cause you're pregnant. Your mammary glands have developed,” Ueda shared matter-of-factly.
Jin's eyes dropped on Kazuya's chest. “Maybe you should wear a bra,” he suggested.
“Maybe I should kill you,” Kazuya retorted angrily.
“Oh! Kazuya you have breasts?” Koki exclaimed excitedly.
“I do not have breasts!” insisted Kazuya. “And stop gawking at my chest!” he said to Jin and turned away. He hugged his chest tighter and crossed his legs as the need to take a leak increases. “I hate my life right now,” he muttered to the wind.
Chapter 5