#6 Chutin’ the shoots, takin tha loots, goin' back to tha roots
Begin Piece #6
Movement 1
So I finished my chem final and went to Sonic’s (the Westlake one) with a large group of guys. The Westlake Sonic is mind-blowingly awesome. I was in shock.
I returned to school and balled with my homies until I ran into ChenChen, who offered to take me out to dinner because he owes me money. I suggested Sonic even though I had already been there, and he kindly obliged.
Time to rock n' roll; aZn sTyLe.
no caption.
Nick: Get in the car bitch! Lol.
Again, no caption.
This bus ran a stop sign back at SSS. What a fucker. The nerve. I quickly burned his ass on 360.
Oh that’s right. You see that yellow blip on my rear view? That’s right. Burned.
We passed by this dude that got pulled over. All I have to say is: B-B-B-BUSTED!
I laughed at that fool that got pulled over. I stopped when I noticed ChenChen was not sharing my amusement. I asked him what was wrong. He then recounted a painful, racistly motivated runin with the popo he had back in ‘93 . I consoled him. Anger was still building up inside of him, more on that later.
We passed by Mr.Cox’s car. Don't think thats him?
Zoomed in.
Zoomed in again.
Trippy.
Oh lookie who’s behind who now! The tables have turned officer, the tables have turned indeed! [it took balls to take a photo of that cop. Balls I tell you.] An angry asian smile escaped ChenChen's otherwise serious face.
End Movement 1.
Begin Movement 2.
Sonic. America’s Drive-In. Oh wait, this is Westlake. Rock on richie.
While ChenChen scans the menu with his hawk-like eyes…
Meanwhile...I had an epiphany: I am in control of my life. Hope is nothing but glory and immortality waiting to be created. I have seen the light. I have seized it. I am empowered.
Shortly after we arrived, some Bridgepoint Bastards n’ Bitches came in and made themselves at home.
More.
There was this chump trying to do tricks with a board that consisted of thin pieces of wood glued together. I believe he called it a “freeboard” or something equally stupid. He was trying to impress a girl that wasn’t looking and obviously didn’t give a fuck. I laughed and cried at the same time. He will forever be Freeboarder McFly:
There were about 30 of them. They were being loud. Imagine it. Let it ring through your mind. Freeboarder McFly is doing tricks and failing miserably creating even louder noises five feet from my table.
ChenChen wanted to rough them up. Real bad.
He gave me this chillingly familiar look, and in the slightest, most subtle way, I told him “No man, not today…..not today.” He looked down at his lap, pensiveness returned to his face. I felt the air de-electrify for a split second. The seats creaked. I glanced at my menu, trying to avoid further eye contact, clenching my teeth and hoping that things would cool down. Suddenly, ChenChen, in a Tibetan-Tiger-like rage, exploded from his chair and jumped Freeboarder McFly. It had begun. In a frenzy of roundhouses, spin kicks, uppercuts, and knee-to-face-while-holding-ears thrusts, ChenChen dominated Freeboarder McFly like Tyson on Tina. Freeboarder McFly was left leaning on a pillar, visciously defeated just 30 seconds into the fight. ChenChen circled the pillar Freeboarder McFly was leaning for what seemed to be forever. Then, when I thought it couldn't get any worse, ChenChen picked up the freeboard and held it in the air above Freeboarder McFly's head. There was a collective gasp amongst the spectators. I bit my lip. But ChenChen, showing mercy, began to turn towards me, his eyes slowly blinked, he was seemingly content with his ass-kickery. There was a collective sigh amongst the spectators. I unbit my lip. Then, ChenChen spun back around and smashed the freeboard on Freeboarder McFly's head with deadly efficiency. All that could be heard were pieces of wood rattling as they came crashing down to the cold cold floor in a muted melancholy. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this. I watched on in horror as Freeboarder McFly fell to the ground and curled into a fetal position, bleeding from every facial orifice, bruised and battered head to toe. Finally, with blood on his hands, and a dirty smile on his face, I was able to restrain ChenChen, now in Asian Dragon mode as he began to mutter incoherent obscenities about Freeboarder McFly’s dead mother. The group’s leader thanked me, telling me she didn’t like Freeboarder McFly anyways.
*Phew*
Knowing it was on me to lighten the mood, I decided to return to the fun and games I am famous for. Here is a glimpse of that attempt:
Nick: C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, DO IT! DO IT!
ChenChen: Ehhh…
Nick: Oh you pussy, you!
ChenChen: Do I have to?
Nick: No, not if you don’t want to……… Pussy.
(Nick glares looks at the phone)
ChenChen: Fine. But you’re still a ho.
Nick: Pimp.
(ChenChen picks up the phone)
ChenChen: I’m telling you, this isn’t even going to be funny.
Nick: Just trust me, it’ll work.
Sonic Attendant: Hi, welcome to Sonic’s how may I help you?
ChenChen: Hi um………is your refrigerator running?
Sonic Attendant: Yes.
ChenChen: Well, you better go catch it!
(ChenChen hangs up)
(Pause. We look at eachother)
Nick: lol.
ChenChen: rofl.
Nick: roflmao.
ChenChen: NICE!
(high five)
Yea. I ate some food afterwards. But who cares about that?
I dropped ChenChen off at school and went to the library.
End Movement 2.
Begin Movement 3
And so I lingered longer, library till five
I sat there alone, so quiet, so bored, so unalive
I waited and waited, till I could handle no more
Alas, Ahoy! I received a call from Edge what could it be for?
He told me in short: “Nickle, please come to dinner”
I said in reply: “Oh Edge you have saved me, you’ve made me a winner!”
Edge quickly added: “I’ll buy you some food”
Happiness returned and away went bad mood
I thought to myself: “Two free meals in a day?”
I smiled and said: “You know Nick? You’re okay…”
Rudy-tutti-fresh-n-fruity.
I was going to meet Edge there around 6:15 or so. I arrived at Rudy’s a litlte late. Shit.
Oh shit, his car is here! He’s going to kill me! I hope he forgives me.
Edge is intensely focused on his food. He loves his Rudy’s BBQ. He doesn’t say a word to me for about 5 minutes. I sit there and look at the couple to my right, they’re having an argument.
Edge notices the camera. He is notably displeased.
Breaking the silence, I reminded Edge I am completely broke. With minimal eye contact and no verbal response, Edge gives me the money to buy a small order of cream corn. What a nice guy.
Aside:And oh sweet sweet Jesus, that stuff is INCREDIBLE. Honestly, it is some of the best food I’ve ever tasted. I am going to learn how to make this and bring it into school because this stuff is fucking crazy tasty.
He doesn’t say a word. What a badass. Edge looked at me with a look that could only say: “Your loyalty is respectable. I approve of your existence.”
He is the lion of the plains, a man in his element.
If you’ve been to Rudy’s, you’re familiar with their automatic handwashing system. Edge and I are regulars so we are veteran users of the automatic handwashing system. For the uninitiated, this thing is amazing. It is like 500 warm soapy little tongues licking your hands in a frenzy of lustful passion, its sweet. I usually use it 4 or 5 times on every visit.
I encouraged Edge to go first. Chivalry lives on.
Behold! Edge is enjoying himself! A genuine smile breaks his face for the first time in years.
I am in my own little heaven. Giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl. (Why do I have sunglasses on?)
Edge is content. It is time to go.
End Movement 3.
Begin Movement 4
By now, you are familiar with my streetracing lifestyle. But you may still be asking yourself: “Why are Nick and Edge racing in what looks to be rush hour traffic?” And with a smirk as wide as the world I answer: “Because only hard mothafuckas like Edge and me race in rush hour traffic. Hard mothafuckas"
Edge is actually a seasoned racer, he trained with me last summer so our race was actually quite competetive (Sorry Juniper and BonBon, you guys suck).
Edge and I wait at a red light, eager to hit up any gaps that open as a result of slow ass “normies” not having five hundred throughbreds under their lids like we do. Yea that’s right, five hundred throughbreds. Eat it Rodeo. Eat it and like it.
The light turned green, we jostled for position. My heart was thumping with fiery excitement.
Edge jumps out to an early lead. Nautrally, this was unacceptable. I quickly cut off a car in attempt to gain some valuable ground.
I trailed Edge, two feet from his bumper.
When the perfect moment came, I deftly cut in front of the truck before Edge had the chance to do the same. I kicked it into high gear as I made my move to pass him. Nice.
We were neck and neck but he realized all is lost. Either that or he is a cocky bastard that races one handed.
We roared past the lake as we prepared to enter the turn lane approaching Turn 7. I glanced in my left side mirror and did a double take.
Whats this? The sneaky bastard tried to cut into the left turn lane before me!
Incredulous, I threw some caltrops out the window as I laughed and watchd him swerve away to avoid puncturing his poor economy tires.
We made it back into the left turn lane with me in front, the way it should be.
From then on my positioning and shifting was flawless and the gap widened as we made our way through Steiner Ranch, aKa the Hood.
I continued to pull farther and farther away, but he wouldn't give up. Valiant racer that Edge is...
Eager to stick the nail in the coffin, I activate the Class VI Nos and hit 130 in a 35.
After I hit the Nos, I lost him and I couldn’t see him anymore so I put away my camera.
Race over.
2005 St. Stephen's School Street Racing Syndicate Leaderboard (in wins)
Nickle: 3
Juniper: 0
Bon Bon: 0
Edge: 0
ChenChen: n/a
El Norte: n/a
Mariposa: n/a
Rodeo: lol...
Hidalgo: horse.
End Movement 4.
End Piece #6
Two free meals in one day. Not bad.
Music: Vetiver
Mood: Bittersweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
On a serious note: Summer is close. Rock on my friends rock on.
fini sixième.