Counting Stars on the Ceiling: A Collection of 50 Sentences Surrounding Shuuhei/Nemu
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei/Kurotsuchi Nemu
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG to R
Notes: First time writing these two, so I hope characterization is at least decent (I was greatly helped out/inspired by
tsukishine's wonderful Nemu piece:
Silent Obedience for
20_souls). These are not in chronological order by numbers (1,2,3...) but rather by in order of when they were written. "Counting Stars on the Ceiling" is a song by The Stars, and is my opinion of a good theme song for these two characters.
(theme 5: wrong)
With literally every fiber of her being she knows that to love him and let him love her would be a betrayal, but when he touches her she finds that it would be a lie to say she regrets it.
(theme 6: gentle)
Nemu had never truthfully been accustomed to the meaning of the word gentle until his calloused hands delicately glided down her curves in a feathery touch the first time they laid together; it was then that she learned just how malicious her father truly was.
(theme 41: power)
It is unfortunate, she muses, that when she moans tonight Shuuhei mistakes them for sighs of pleasure.
(theme 9: king)
He wants to be her knight in shining armor, like the ones she sometimes tells him about from the ripped pages she’s collected, but he knows that in her heart she does not truly believe any knight can overthrow the king.
(theme 34: sing)
Shuuhei loves song and hums to fill the silence; Nemu was taught that melodies are useless noise, and still flinches every time he starts a tune on their evening walks.
(theme 42: bother)
All can see her exterior perfection, but no one can see why he puts himself through the agony of hoping against how plainly doomed their relationship is; he only shrugs his shoulders and thinks of every scar she has, he has, the ones they share.
(theme 10: learn)
Nemu has been the pupil for as long as she can remember, so she feels a small flutter of exhilaration in her stomach when Shuuhei asks her, his eyes kind and voice slightly waggish, to explain the fundamentals of gravitation.
(theme 50: believe)
Sitting with her legs folded under her in the fresh grass, letting his head rest in her lap while he stares up at the stars, she looks down and asks him if he likes to believe in something he thinks no one else does, and if so, would he please tell her?; “Yes,” he says, “you.”
(theme 47: harm)
He was aware of her strength and endurance, but sometimes he was afraid that even the slightest touch from him would cause her to shatter, to break right beneath his finger and crumble, so he never touched her until the day she asked him to.
(theme 25: shadow)
It kills him to know that with every second they spend together “Father” is watching her even when he does not see her, that “Father” whispers ten punishments for every kiss he steals from her, that “Father” doesn’t necessarily have to touch her to murder her.
(theme 30: ghost)
Nemu had become such a master at the art of being unheard and unseen, that sometimes she sneaked out of her quarters to the 9th division’s and crept up beside him in the middle of the night to watch him sleep, something she could not do.
(theme 26: goodbye)
The first time Nemu ever cried was when Shuuhei showed her she was worth something in the best way he ever could; the last time she ever cried was when she had to learn how to say goodbye the hardest way she ever could.
(theme 20: picture)
She once found an old photograph in her father’s study and, without any real thought at all, she stole it with incredible gusto or stifling insanity (she could not determine which) so she could bring it to Shuuhei-she wanted to show him the person he reminded her of, show him who Urahara-sama1 was.
(theme 31: book)
To celebrate the day they began their secret affair, he brings her a book with blank pages, and when she asks what she is supposed to do with it he says with a small grin, “You’re supposed to do nothin’, but if you’d like, you can fill them up with what you keep in your heart (you know, that thing that lets ya love me so much ♥).”
(theme 27: hide)
After much persuasion, she agrees to use the book he gave her as long as she can hide it at his place; he says he’d be glad to guard it, but he really meant to replace ‘it’ with ‘her.’
(theme 14: attention)
Attention is not something Nemu purposefully attracts to herself, and across the bar he notices how she’s not receiving any tonight; he sneaks over to remedy this with a chaste kiss and finds in these moments that he doesn’t mind so much when others aren’t as interested.
(theme 45: naked)
As a scientist Nemu had been exposed to the nude male form before-all the experiments her father made her watch, in fact, had implanted in her brain every biological detail a body could possibly retain, and it honestly repulsed her after only a few dissections; but somehow, when her eyes roamed over his body, she was mesmerized and gripped by something within her she dully related to what she heard others call...something that started with an A, or maybe an L?
(theme 1: motion)
Nemu is acutely aware of motion, a skill she was ordered to sharpen as perfectly as how a blacksmith hones a knife, and ever since she achieved this talent she secretly used it for her own recreational purposes; for example, how she can recognize a person by their gait before even looking at their hair or shape, see the in-combat spasms of fleshy muscles that travel under firm skin, or when she catches every subtle change in Shuuhei’s expression when he looks at her.
(theme 21: fool)
“Dumbass, you can’t possibly think that you’d have a chance with her.. lookit her family-“ the red-head drawls, but Shuuhei begins to block him out when she drifts into the bar in the same way her braid follows the arch of her spine; “Fate,” he smirks, ”Seems he’s found Lady Luck,” and he grinned before sliding away towards her.
(theme 28: fortune)
Her first fortune cookie told her, “You can always find a way out”-His first in her company said, “The greatest danger could be your stupidity,” and those around the table, including her, laughed.
(theme 19: soul)
“If your brain is enhanced, if your lungs are artificial, if your heart is stolen, it doesn’t matter because you have a soul that no one else does and that is what makes people love you-what makes me love you.”
(theme 38: wash)
A soak at 3 a.m. hardly sounds like the ideal way to wake up to your morning to Renji and Izuru, so he merely explains to his buddies, wryly, that he and his company hadn’t even gone to bed yet.
(theme 49: hunger)
In public she was reserved, obedient, courteous; In bed she ravaged his mouth, sought his pleasing touch, became unbridled and fiery and tatooed his back with lines he imagined were the bars of the cage she was escaping.
(theme 24: now)
He didn’t remember exactly when she became the person she was now, but he knew she didn’t like the person she was then, so he was just greatful she’d made it here in the first place, here with him.
(theme 32: eye)
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” Matsumoto once told her, and it took Shuuhei a long time to convince Nemu that there was not a monster inside her eye, just one leering behind her every time she looked.
(theme 46: drive)
And father stretched his grin wide, cooing, “I’m just going to test his drive, my dear,” while the crack of his hand sent her into the wall; inside she was slightly grateful that Shuuhei could not lift his head to see her like this.
(theme 2: cool)
Shuuhei got a huge laugh when Nemu, naively puzzled, slightly cocked her head at Renji’s new visors and asked, “If they are cool, Renji-fukutaichou, do you not worry your head will become chilled?” and he explained later that the irony in the thought of Renji having a cooled head was simply too good to ignore.
(theme 13: change)
His touch made her jump at first, and once he asked why; she explained quite shamefully that the mercy in it was something she had never experienced before, and he replied, “...that’s something we’ll have to get you used to.”
(theme 39: stop)
“....ow ow ow ow OW-“ he screeched, cursing his wife’s medical training as she simpered, “I told you that Renji-san wasn’t kidding around.”
(theme 17: vision)
Nightmares had never scared her because she lived them-or rather most of them she realized as she squeezed herself to his torso in a viselike grip, as a means of making sure it was still in one piece.
(theme 4: last)
“I never thought she’d date ya unless you were the last man around,” Renji said, and Nemu asked, “Is this the emotion called jealousy, Hisagi-san?” and Shuuhei did his best not to laugh, but to no avail.
(theme 22: mad)
The only time Nemu and Shuuhei ever fought was when she saw Matsumoto and Shuuhei in a compromising position, drunk, on the futon of his room-Nemu had first refused to talk to Matsumoto, refused to talk to Shuuhei, refused to talk to both, cried, and then exploded in a rage alone by a lake she’d wondered off to; When Nemu returned with a resolution at Shuuhei’s place later, she apologized for her actions and cried in his arms, while making a note to thank Matsumoto.
(theme 23: child)
Nemu won’t admit it-she’ll show it and embrace it and sometimes encourage its occurence-but when he pouts like that, like a child, she can’t help but be swayed to comply to what he wants.
(theme 14: command)
Shuuhei was never interested in listening to commands, and he especially hated them when he saw Kurotsuchi Nemu’s fraility and austerity next to her captain, so he makes it a point that when he asks her to do something for him that she knows she can say no (though he does admit that at certain times he hopes to high hell she will say yes).
(theme 48: precious)
He will defend her being, her name, her love, her soul, because he has never had something so precious to him as she is, and others have observed this, but most of them were taught it.
(theme 8: thousand)
She will ask him a single question a night-on philosophy or past experiences, or beliefs, love stories or regular stories, or equations, friends or family, justice, events or life-and he finds he never minds and wishes for more, because that will mean she stays with him for a long, long time.
(theme 7: one)
Nemu mentions to him one night that the human hand has forty-eight named nerves, and he asks with a tone that seems cheeky but is actually warmly honest, “How long would it take to kiss each one?”
(theme 39: torn)
She was relieved that the rip in her robes only angered her captain, and grateful while she nursed her red cheek that tears were soothing because she was happy he did not find out about them but still horrified by what another slip could mean.
(theme 44: wall)
The strength of his hold and his passion astounds her simultaneously as they rock together against the wall of the shower.
(theme 29: safe)
His house is a comfort, the scent of his clothes are a comfort, his skin against hers is a comfort, and knowing this makes his brain relax when she passes through his kitchen in his shower robe and a quirky grin form on his face as he stalks after her to kiss her, and all of that is a comfort, too.
(theme 16: need)
One night he awakens to find she isn’t there next to him, the next night she’s gripping him so tight he awakens startled and confused, and this pattern continues for a long time until the realization hits him: she needs him to be there even when she’s not.
(theme 43: God)
Shuuhei is normally a very deep sleeper when he is at home, but tonight he awakes to a faint murmuring coming from the other room, when he notices Nemu is not snuggled against his body; he tiptoes across the wooden floor of his room to the doorway and squats down to listen to his lover’s prayers.
(theme 40: history)
Nemu has told Shuuhei so much about Urahara that when he meets the man he deduces he is exactly what she told him and more; the more is hardest to tolerate.
(theme 12: wait)
Though Shuuhei himself was very aesthetically pleased when Nemu came out of the changing rooms with a blush all across her face and in the bikini Matsumoto demanded she buy, he wasn’t so thrilled to notice Renji and Izuru eyeing his girl the way they were, and he protectively snuck an arm around her waist before sneaking a long gaze himself.
(theme 15: hold)
He sees her smiling at a baby, he watches her holding a baby, he doesn’t know whose it is, he doesn’t know why she’s holding it, but something in his heart makes him desperately want to learn.
(theme 11: blur)
He loved to pull out her hair tie and watch the ebony tendrils curl, and dip, and mesh to form one giant inky curtain eveloping her naked body, teasing him with what he could see and what was concealed.
(theme 33; never)
She screamed for it all to stop and he screamed for her to run as fast as she could; she stared at him incredulously, as if she did not recognize him under all that blood, and he picked her up and sprinted because both their lives depended on it-later he demanded to know what the hell she froze up for, heard her cry that it was all hopeless now, and he stood there watching her deteriorate into hysteria, unable to comfort her.
(theme 35: sudden)
When Nemu woke up with a high fever and vomiting profusely one morning, they sneaked over to Unohana’s in secret and asked for her help; Nemu came out an hour later, a blank stare on her face, with the 4th Division captain smiling with a gleam in her eye before stating that the baby was fine-Shuuhei fainted.
(theme 3: young)
A number of mistakes were made and struggles lurked around every corner, but they decided they wanted this fate and they decided it was worth everything, and they decided that if they died young they would at least do it together.
(theme 37: time)
He knew he wanted to be with her for the rest of his existance the first instance he heard someone-either her or a colleague-say they couldn’t make it last.
Notes:
1Okay, re: 20. Picture. Errr.. I realize no one would ever really make the comparison of Urahara to Shuuhei or visa-versa, but my idea with it was that Shuuhei reminds her of Urahara because Urahara was the only other person so kind to her as Shuuhei is, and given that Urahara was actually mostly/half the time serious around her-- which I believe he was-- they could be kinda similar.
And I know, I know, I ABUSE/MURDER semicolons and hyphens, even commas. ....shush.
Extra:
(alternative theme 19: soul)
“You’ve gotta brain like mine, lungs like mine, a heart like mine-whose to say that ya don’t have a soul either?”
(alternative theme 23: child)
Shuuhei notices that when Nemu sees children, she looks on interestedly, but with a demure sorrow in her eyes, and he doesn’t know why; Nemu knows he sees this, but she still doesn’t know how to tell him her father believed ovaries were useless.