(no subject)
My life for all intensive purposes is great. I am happily married (one year married in like 15 days), I am not homeless, I am fed (even if it is Ramen/cereal only towards the end of the month), and I am close to my loving family and friends.
I usually don't mind that since we've moved out of Mike's mom's house we have been insanely broke. For the most part, we scrape by scarily each week, eating lots of veggies thanks to the farmer's market but then when money runs out it's back to all the shitty food that makes everything feel shitty. Anyway, I haven't bought one thing for leisure (either has Mike) since we've moved and it's making us sort of stir crazy. We've lucked out on some free movie tickets and have some food before/after improv practice cuz fuel is power but that's about it. Mike only makes twice our rent exactly and living in California means we have to have cars and gas is insanely expensive. Still curious how I will be affording to drive to Oakland four days a week when school starts but... oh well. I'm trying to find a job officially I guess. I was trying to make some money through photo jobs but I maybe get one once a month (that's a big maybe) and it's always for portraits or parties, not the big dollar stuff like weddings. I'm having fun and it's been nice doing what I like for profit but... it's not helping out the family financially.
Anyway, so yeah this is all shitty but whatever, it's life. But as noted above, in 15 days it is our one year anniversary. For months we've been racking our brains for somewhere cheap to go but nothing has come up especially now that we are insanely broke. So we decided to staycation and go to SF maybe or eat at some places and be happy because we are fat kids and love to eat, also keep our gifts very cheap. That sounds nice, at least we can spend time together and do things we really like. So I got two photo jobs to pay for Mike's present. One for a newborn that the mother is unhappy with some of the images so I am sad but I got paid $40 and one that I haven't done yet for Bobby to photograph some pictures of his and Greg's new team the Fancy Dinosaurs. Anyway the jobs equaled the exact amount I needed for Mike's gift. However, I had to use that money for food and although You think it would even out, it hasn't because our PG&E bill was $100 this month for some god awful reason. How does my 500 square foot (maybe?) studio generate $100 worth of energy I'm not sure. Anyway, so now it looks like that money wont be made up. So we have now decided no gifts. And sadly enough our bank account looks like food or trips to San Francisco really aren't in the cards as well (because god forbid you buy groceries and gas?).
I'm just so fucking disappointed. My first year of marriage didn't really feel like... what it was supposed to. I know there's no "right" way for a first year of marriage to be and I love Mike so much and any moment with out him is POINTLESS, but it just is not what it feels like it should be. We spent the majority of it living in a flooding basement under his mom's house, moved out and have thus been stranded in our home due to lack of funds and not even having the luxury of casually buying groceries has been bad but whatever but this lack of anything on our anniversary is killing me. I feel at fault, completely. I got into MIlls and have been insanely busy there not having a job and will be even busier next semester where it seems impossible to have one again but I may need to give that up. I had enormous debt that we had to pay off which we could have extra money if we didn't have to do that, I moved us back and forth from Anaheim to the bay taking all of our money with it, and now I have no job/am not helping financially. There could be arguments against it being solely my fault (Mike makes them all the time) but... blegh.
I'm just curious when we're going to get our shit together. There's people in my grade with fine lives and real jobs and CHILDREN for Christ's sake. With homes they BOUGHT! What is this fuckery?
I'm glad I love Mike as much as I do and he the same and us being perfect for each other and eternal soul mates otherwise... I would have depression, almost positive. Or maybe just insanely sad... whatever you wanna say that isn't offensive or whatever.
You guys are cool. Can you believe all the seddie insanity?!
Oh and my improv troupe is doing a Harry Potter improv show a week or two after the last movie comes out. I expect all of you in attendance.
I usually don't mind that since we've moved out of Mike's mom's house we have been insanely broke. For the most part, we scrape by scarily each week, eating lots of veggies thanks to the farmer's market but then when money runs out it's back to all the shitty food that makes everything feel shitty. Anyway, I haven't bought one thing for leisure (either has Mike) since we've moved and it's making us sort of stir crazy. We've lucked out on some free movie tickets and have some food before/after improv practice cuz fuel is power but that's about it. Mike only makes twice our rent exactly and living in California means we have to have cars and gas is insanely expensive. Still curious how I will be affording to drive to Oakland four days a week when school starts but... oh well. I'm trying to find a job officially I guess. I was trying to make some money through photo jobs but I maybe get one once a month (that's a big maybe) and it's always for portraits or parties, not the big dollar stuff like weddings. I'm having fun and it's been nice doing what I like for profit but... it's not helping out the family financially.
Anyway, so yeah this is all shitty but whatever, it's life. But as noted above, in 15 days it is our one year anniversary. For months we've been racking our brains for somewhere cheap to go but nothing has come up especially now that we are insanely broke. So we decided to staycation and go to SF maybe or eat at some places and be happy because we are fat kids and love to eat, also keep our gifts very cheap. That sounds nice, at least we can spend time together and do things we really like. So I got two photo jobs to pay for Mike's present. One for a newborn that the mother is unhappy with some of the images so I am sad but I got paid $40 and one that I haven't done yet for Bobby to photograph some pictures of his and Greg's new team the Fancy Dinosaurs. Anyway the jobs equaled the exact amount I needed for Mike's gift. However, I had to use that money for food and although You think it would even out, it hasn't because our PG&E bill was $100 this month for some god awful reason. How does my 500 square foot (maybe?) studio generate $100 worth of energy I'm not sure. Anyway, so now it looks like that money wont be made up. So we have now decided no gifts. And sadly enough our bank account looks like food or trips to San Francisco really aren't in the cards as well (because god forbid you buy groceries and gas?).
I'm just so fucking disappointed. My first year of marriage didn't really feel like... what it was supposed to. I know there's no "right" way for a first year of marriage to be and I love Mike so much and any moment with out him is POINTLESS, but it just is not what it feels like it should be. We spent the majority of it living in a flooding basement under his mom's house, moved out and have thus been stranded in our home due to lack of funds and not even having the luxury of casually buying groceries has been bad but whatever but this lack of anything on our anniversary is killing me. I feel at fault, completely. I got into MIlls and have been insanely busy there not having a job and will be even busier next semester where it seems impossible to have one again but I may need to give that up. I had enormous debt that we had to pay off which we could have extra money if we didn't have to do that, I moved us back and forth from Anaheim to the bay taking all of our money with it, and now I have no job/am not helping financially. There could be arguments against it being solely my fault (Mike makes them all the time) but... blegh.
I'm just curious when we're going to get our shit together. There's people in my grade with fine lives and real jobs and CHILDREN for Christ's sake. With homes they BOUGHT! What is this fuckery?
I'm glad I love Mike as much as I do and he the same and us being perfect for each other and eternal soul mates otherwise... I would have depression, almost positive. Or maybe just insanely sad... whatever you wanna say that isn't offensive or whatever.
You guys are cool. Can you believe all the seddie insanity?!
Oh and my improv troupe is doing a Harry Potter improv show a week or two after the last movie comes out. I expect all of you in attendance.