Story Stub: Inside Out and Upside Down
"C'mon Sea Scout. I know something's been twisting that brain of yours inside out all day. Spill. It."
"Starsk. For the 400th time, I'm fine 'n I don't know what you're talking about."
"Uh huh. Hutch. Hutch. You oughta see yourself from this side of the car. You're so alien-brain, I could sell ya to NASA for a truckload of money 'n they could have some experiments."
"Well, shucky-darn, Starsky."
"'Shucky-darn'? Don't ya toy with me. Y'know what it does to me when you speak your Minnesotian dialect."
"Isn't Minnesota speak, Starsk. It's ancient Latin. Means 'put a cork in it already.'"
"Nuh-uh. You keep pulling my legs like that, they're gonna be longer 'n yours, Hutch - and that - that is a freak of nature."
"Starsky. I'm tired. You're tired. Let's get off the talk 'n go get that cold beer."
"Hutch -"
"No. More. Words. Drive. Beer. That's all you gotta know."
***
Sure thing, Baby Blue. Whatever you say. Whatever you gotta do to sell it to yourself - to say you're okay 'n nothing's messing you around - just help yourself. Me? I'm gonna play nice. But I know better, damn do I know better. Been watching you all day. See, I've got me this mental form labeled "Signs Hutch is Over-Thinking" 'n from your behavior today, you're pinging the meter into the danger zone. You're so close to melting down, you're a grilled cheese sandwich. You're so damn scared of something, you're the little kid hiding under the bed, believing in monsters.
How do I know? Okay - Blondie - I'll tell ya.
You put your holster on inside out this morning. Your socks, too. You held your gun upside down to load it 'n you turned a full cup of coffee bottoms up all over the desk trying to drink it. You stood up when Dobey told ya to sit down. You talked into the wrong end of the telephone receiver. Damn, Hutch - it was like this all day long. You upped when you should'a downed. You inside-ed when you should'a outside-ed. You couldn't tie your shoe laces 'n you couldn't tell time.
You couldn't look me in the eye.
***
"Hey, Starsk? You sure went quiet."
"Now you're complaining about it?"
"Not."
"S'okay Hutch. I'm here. Just thinking."
"You can think out loud if you want to."
"S'good Hutch."
***
There ya go again. Say one thing, think another. Pull one thing close, push another thing away. Got it, Buddy. Message received. You got patterns Hutch - so predictable I can set my watch by 'em. Deep down there in your thoughts 'n in your choices. They come from places I can't reach, but dammit - sometimes I wanna squeeze the wits outta whoever helped put 'em there.
What's in the playbook tonight, partner? Is it search 'n destroy? Don't think so. You're a searcher, but what you're best at destroying are your own chances. Is it hide 'n seek? Yeah. That's it. Hide 'n seek.
***
"Starsk?"
"Yeah, Hutch?"
"Didn't mean it."
"Didn't mean what?"
"That."
"That?"
"K-kiss."
"Kiss?"
"Back of your neck. Last night. On the stairs. After you ran the other way in the alley 'n I couldn't find you. When you came back around 'n up the stairs. Then. Neck. K-kiss."
"Aw, Hutch. That wasn't a kiss."
"Nah."
"S'alright."
"Yeah."
***
I knew it was a kiss, partner. I knew it wasn't no handshake. Do you know what I'd confess to you if only you'd let me? If only I knew you wouldn't go all commando 'n take yourself out rather than hear the truth?
Gods. Hutch. My golden partner - my ocean blue. You're like the ocean Hutch. Y'know that? You and the ocean , the both of you - roaring at the top of your lungs. Proving your power. But then falling back down...falling away, tumbling helpless and forlorn.
Hutch. Being open to love is power, partner. Being your own worst enemy - but still having the faith to reach out - that's your strength. Being patient with you is mine.
It's hide 'n seek Hutch. A game we've played for a long time. Too long, maybe.
Yeah. I'm a patient man, partner. Go on, hide. Hide and pull the darkness and loneliness and fear around you. I can wait.
You think you're so clever, Blondie. Hiding...yes, you're hiding. But watch out. I just saw you move.
***
This story stub is dedicated to the great folks of SHareCon who said, "write, write, write...you can only get better." To Dawn, who said, "Use dialogue!" And to CC, who helped me unleash my inner romantic.
Hoping it is at least half-baked...writes-
-Angel